PART FIVE

They didn't speak while they were in the elevator—Bobby moved to the farthest corner away from Alex—or as they walked to the coffee shop. It would be an exaggeration to say they walked together, as Bobby moved slowly at least one step behind Alex. She walked steadily to the shop, but shot glances behind her to make sure Bobby followed her. When they arrived at the restaurant, Alex chose a table in a far corner, and it was only after he sat that Bobby realized his chair was back against a wall. Unless Alex moved out of his way, there was no escape route for him except for climbing over the table. He sat silently and numbly as Alex ordered for both of them. The morning rush was over, and they were out of the sight of the other patrons. Their coffee and food arrived, but Bobby paid little attention to the latter.

"Bobby," Alex said gently. "You need to eat."

He stared at his hands and wondered why she cared about his food consumption.

Alex felt pity for him. "Logan…I ran into him this morning…He told me about…that thing in your desk."

Bobby started.

"And I talked to Ross," Alex said. Only the slightest shaking of her voice betrayed her feelings. "He told me…about what you did this morning…"

Bobby moved his fork from one side of his plate to the other.

"You were going to talk to me about these things, weren't you, Bobby? Because they have something to do with me."

"I…I…" Bobby's spoon joined in the dance with his fork. "Yes…the…the rat…I was going to tell you about that…Because…that…that may mean you're in danger…"

Alex steadied her nerves by taking a long drink of coffee. "But…You were just going to leave? Not say anything…" In spite of her efforts, anger and sorrow edged into her voice.

"Oh, God," Bobby said after a moment. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Everything…I…I…just…Eames…It's all gone so wrong…I…I…"

Alex thought he might try to leap over the table. "Oh, God," she thought. "What have I done to him…"

"Robert Goren," Alex said firmly. "Listen to me. Do something you don't do enough and listen to me."

"I…I do listen to you, Eames," he said sadly. "It's…It's just been so hard to hear you lately. There's…there's so much in my head."

"Bobby," she said. "We have to talk to each other. We get in trouble when we don't talk to each other."

"I…I couldn't," Bobby stammered. "I…the Chief…Ross…God…Eames…I wanted to…When I saw you at the diner…I wanted to tell you everything…but…I couldn't…"

"I…I know that. I've already yelled at Ross," said Alex. Bobby's obvious distress had eased some of her anger, or at least the anger directed at Bobby.

"Please…Please understand…" He didn't look at her, but leaned forward in his chair. "I…I didn't think…You're right about that…I was too focused on getting my badge back…but one of the reasons…the main reason…I…I had other job offers…But…" Bobby looked at her for the briefest of moments, and the grief and fear in his eyes shook her to her core. "You…You're the best…God…Eames…If…If I ever…ever ignored you…I'm sorry…You…You've never just been my water carrier…Alex…"

The sound of her first name in his voice shocked her.

"I want to work with you…Nobody else…And…And if I can't…I don't want to work for the Department…"

"So…You're putting all of this on me?"

"No! No!" He shook his head. "That's not what I meant…Please…Damn…You're the one person I don't want to hurt…And all I do…is hurt you…keep you from advancing…put you in danger…"

"Bobby…"

He didn't hear her.

"And now…I know what the Department means to you…And I've cut you from it…And…And you're in danger…I…I…

Alex feared he was about to completely break down. She seized one of his hands. "Bobby. You are not responsible for everything that's happened to me. Any more than I'm responsible for everything that's happened to you." She steeled herself. "What do you think has been going on with me? You're the best partner I've ever had. You've got the most dazzling mind. Truth is, there are a lot of times I don't mind being your water carrier."

He stared at her and didn't try to pull his hand away.

"The thing that scared me…that really made me angry…was…I coulda killed you, Bobby." She tightened her grip on his hand, and, for the first time, her voice completely failed her. "My partner…my best friend…I coulda killed you."

Bobby gripped her hand. "I…I shoulda told you…The hell with the Chief and Ross and the badge…I shoulda told you…But getting the job back…Getting back to work with you…Alex…When I saw you…I knew…Ross told me you caught the case…So I thought…hoped…that you'd be there…and you'd save me…Like you always do…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"

"So…you were just going to leave? That's how you tell me you're sorry?"

"I…Look," Bobby swallowed. "I can do something else…Work somewhere else…"

"You had five months to get another job," Alex said.

"I…I know…Dr. Olivet…Deakins…Even Ross…They all told me that…But this…It's the best job I've ever had…And…And I'm good at it…Or at least I used to be good at it."

"I think you still are," Alex said softly.

"Like I've said…This job…I stay with it because of you…Please understand…I'm not laying this on you…But I've decided…It's not worth it…If you're not my partner…And that's not worth anything if it puts you in danger…But…please…I was going to talk to you…I didn't submit my resignation…I want…I needed…I hoped that…Maybe…Maybe…" He stared at their hands. "I…I value you more than anything…As a cop….As a person…I can't tell you what you mean to me…"

He couldn't say any more. His heart pounded as if he'd just finished a race. "This is it," Bobby thought. "All she's done for me…I can't ask her to do any more." He waited for her to pull her hands away from his and walk out of his life.

"Wow," he heard Alex say. "Look at that…Like ten steps forward."

He raised his eyes to meet hers and saw that her eyes glistened with tears. "I…I'm sorry…I keep…"

"Don't you do it, Bobby," she said firmly. "Don't apologize for doing what I want you to do." She wiped her eyes with her right hand, but kept her left holding Bobby's hands.

"You…you know that you could be a target if you stay as my partner," Bobby said softly.

"Oh, I don't know about that," Alex said, steel entering her voice. "I don't think that anyone who goes around sneaking rats into desks has got much in the way of guts."

He looked at her in wonder, and Alex fought off tears when she saw the gratitude in his eyes.

"You know," she said. "I do owe you an apology."

Stunned, he stared at her, and she smiled at him.

"Yea, Bobby, there are moments when I owe you an apology. I said things to you outside that cell…Some of them needed to be said…But not there and not at that time. I understand…You were undercover…Under orders…" Her free hand returned to cover his. "I ruined your great homecoming."

Bobby's mind reeled with the idea that not only was Alex staying with him but that she seemed happy about it.

"Why is it," Alex asked. "You can get into everybody's head but mine and your own?"

"I don't have the right to get into yours," he answered quickly. "You're not a perp."

"And I'm not that complicated…"

"No!" Bobby raised his free hand, but stopped before he slammed it on the table. He took a deep breath. "Alex…Please…Whatever happens…" He waved his large paw. "I trust you…You're the most amazing person I've ever met. You're…You're smart…You're tough…And you…you don't get all messed up and lost in everybody's head…Especially your own. You…You have a sense of right and wrong…You don't confuse things…You could never be a cop…like Stoat…You don't have a sense of entitlement…You have a sense of service…Of vocation…What I am…What I do…Alex…I…I don't know what I'd be if I hadn't met you…" His voice broke, and Alex couldn't look him in the eyes. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry I've taken from you…and I haven't given you…But know…know that I trust you…It's just…so hard…to trust…But you've made me a better cop…a better person…I…I want to be a better person…because of you…"

He bent his head, and, through her tears, Alex saw tears fall from his cheeks to the table.

"He does get it," she thought. Her heart leaped from the depths.

"Bobby," she squawked.

He raised his head.

She tried again. "Bobby." This time it came out as a squeak.

Bobby looked as if he might jump from his chair. "Alex…Are you all right?"

Alex rested her head on her hand and laughed. "Bobby…I'm sorry…You said all those wonderful things…and I can't even get your name out."

Her hair fell over her face and she smiled at him through its silky veil. Bobby felt almost whole again, and tentatively smiled back at her.

"You know," he said after a moment. "It's still going to be dangerous to be around me."

"Lots of people will be watching our backs," she said confidently. "The sheer number of people in my family that are in the Department will take care of that…And plenty of people owe us…Better yet…They like us."

"You," Bobby said gently. "They like you."

"Don't, Bobby," she chided him. "Don't underestimate what you mean to people. A lot of people…"

He stared at their hands. "I guess…I guess this means we're partners again."

"We always were partners," Alex declared.

"Yea…" Bobby said. He was finally able to hold Alex's gaze. "It isn't going to be easy. I'll try…I'll really try…But it's really hard for me to trust…All my life…A lot of it goes against it…"

"I trust you," Alex said. "You just need to do the same with me."

"Ok…Ok…" he breathed.

Alex stood. "C'mon, partner. We got bad guys to catch. Go get us some coffee to go. You can be my coffee carrier."

He smiled at her, a smile that came from all of him. "Anytime…"

END