|Drive my soul
Author: anothercasualty PM
After receiving a five am wake up call, Tommy must return to Toronto and face the girl he destroyed. Two-Shot: Jommy!Rated: Fiction T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,699 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 06-22-08 - Published: 06-11-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4316679
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
So... Wow! 11 reviews for me! I'm... honored...really honored! Almost speechless! I just want to thank all of you for your kindness... so Thank you!
I've gone over this part 200+ times and I'm still not satisfied. At all. I think I should have left it as a one shot...
Anyway, if this is way worse than yall were expecting, let me know and I will rewrite it because I have had the urge to do so all week. I will not be offended. Swear to...Millie...my cat/god/soul driver... who is trying to help me type this up.
Reviews are appreciated and expected.
I own nothing except my soul driver.
He stood staring at the tub as the water filled up, yet his mind wasn't on the water level but on the girl still lying in bed, not having the strength to get up.
Dipping his hand into the water, he tested the temperature before turning the tap off.
He walked back into the bedroom and leaned over the bed.
"Come on, let's clean you up." Lifting her off the bed, he held her in his arms as he walked back to the bathroom.
He gently put her on her feet, but she wobbled and he grabbed her waist before she could topple over. Barely lifting her arms, he understood that the shirt could come off.
Pulling it up, he suppressed a gasp, taking in her less then slim figure.
She stood with her arms loosely around his waist, trying to stabilize herself.
As he bent down she moved her hands to his shoulders, and the boxers that had been rolled up numerous times came down with the slightest tug.
She turned so that her back was towards him.
His eyes fell onto the vertical letters that ran down her back.
Taking a deep breath he helped her into the tub before walking out the door to start a pot of coffee.
X X X
As he dumped the wine bottles into the recycling bag, a loud ring brought him back and he reached over grabbing the phone off of its cradle.
"Tom? Thank God! How is she? She won't answer the phone or the door. Did she let you in? Of course she did- for you-"
He cut her off.
"No Sades, she didn't, there's a key on top of the door. Honestly? I don't know if she's ok. She hasn't said a word to me. How long has this been going on? I know you called a few months ago-"
"Since you left. Her life's been falling apart since you left! Haven't you wondered why she never released any more albums? Jeez Tom! I thought you cared more for her then that!" Her voice was accusing and his defences went up.
"Of course I cared! That's why I left! I didn't want…. I didn't want…. Never mind, forget it Sadie. She's in the bath, I should really check on her- Ok?"
"How long are you staying?" Her voice was kinder this time, hoping for a miracle.
"I don't know. I guess until I can get her on her feet again…if she'll let me… We'll play it by ear. I'll keep you updated."
"Thanks Tom… For coming… I just didn't know what to do…" He heard her voice crack and he didn't have time to save another Harrison.
"Don't worry about it. But I gotta go. I'll call you later."
He tentatively pushed the bathroom door, not wanting to intrude.
She was still in the tub, her long blond hair floating around her head, her eyes closed, so he stepped forward, putting a cup of coffee beside the shampoo.
"I brought you some coffee." He watched her as her eyes slowly opened and blink at him. "Do you need help washing your hair?"
Dipping her chin down into the water and then back up, he took that as a yes. He helped her dip her head back into the water before grabbing the shampoo, squeezing it into his hand. He messaged it into her hair, taking his time. A soft sign had escaped her mouth and he felt the tension escape his body. He dipped her back again and ran his fingers through her hair, over and over again.
X X X
She sat staring at the television as he cleaned the kitchen, the rerun of Friends making its way to his ears.
He caught himself repeatedly looking at her, wondering what the hell happened.
Leaving was for the best. Wasn't it?
Finishing off the kitchen, he made his way to the couch.
He sat down closer then he had originally planned and their arms were touching.
He felt her shiver and he instinctively wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in.
Her head was just under his nose and the Dove scent ran through his body.
God, he had really missed her.
He had worked really hard to get her off his mind.
Now that he was back, he knew it was going to be hard to leave again.
That night he had tucked her into bed like a child. He couldn't help himself; he needed the security of her being warm and safe.
As he walked out the door, the words he thought she would never say again stopped him in his tracks.
For a flitting second he thought he had heard her incorrectly.
They were the first words she had spoken to him in four years.
He had assumed she hadn't said anything because she didn't want him there, thinking perhaps he would leave if she ignored him.
A fist closed around his heart and he strode back around pulling his jeans down and crawling into their bed.
Finding her waist, he pulled her to him, like he had done years earlier, and like hours before, they wept into each others shirts.
X X X
He stood at the edge of the bed with coffee in one hand and a plate of toast in the other.
She was still asleep.
She had been asleep for over eleven hours.
He forgot about her ability to sleep.
He put the plate and mug on the bedside table and reached down, pushing aside her hair that covered face.
Her face had a yellow tinge to it and he suspected it was from the lack of nutrition.
Yet he still couldn't take his eyes off of her.
Her eyes blinked open and he immediately stepped back, embarrassed that he had been caught staring at her.
But instead of her yelling at him to get out of her room, the bright smile that had always brought a smile to his face now had a residence on hers.
All he could do was stutter out a barely incomprehensible sentence.
"Um… some toast?...And some coffee?"
The warmth in her eyes told him that she was thankful.
As she ate, she patted the spot next to her, where he had spent the night. He climbed back into the bed and leaned against the head board.
He watched her finish her toast and turn back to him, staring him right in the eye, the soft smile still on her face.
"You didn't touch your coffee? Is there something wrong with it?"
The Jude he knew lived off of coffee.
"If I drink it now, I'll never go back to sleep. It will keep me up for days."
Other then those two simple words that she spoke last night, it was the first time she had really spoken to him.
He was surprised by her voice. It was just like he remembered and he couldn't figure out why he expected it to be different.
They searched into each others faces trying to become familiar with each other again.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Tom began.
"Jude, I so sorry. For everything. I…. God, Jude… I made so many stupid mistakes with you." He closed his eyes tightly, trying to block all the mental images that crossed by his eyes. "I shouldn't have done what I did, I should have stood by you, I should have-"
He stopped when he felt her warm hand wrap around his giving it a tight squeeze. His eyes opened back up and he looked into her eyes once again.
"We both made mistakes. I scared you off." Her eyes were so forgiving that he didn't understand, her voice so soft and so kind to the ears.
"I shouldn't have been scared though. I was 26 years old. You should have been scared." He intertwined their fingers before continuing. "The stupid condom broke. And I acted like some 17 year old kid. You weren't even pregnant." He closed his eyes once again but her squeeze brought him back.
"I told you I wouldn't mind starting a family with you. We had only been dating for eight months. We had just gotten the apartment. It was too much for you all at once. I don't even know what I was thinking."
He hated it that she was trying to take the blame for the break up. He roughly pulled his hand away before continue his rant.
"Jude! I cheated on you! With some stupid intern who was my age! I screamed your name when I came! You hated me then! Why can't you hate me now?" His voice started out rough and angry but settle to a soft whisper. "Please, it's just easier if you hate me."
Her head was tilted to the side and a soft smile still graced her face.
"I couldn't hate you forever Tommy Q." The girlish grin spread across her face and it almost took him back to another time. "It wasn't all your fault. And yes I hated you, so much, but I understood what you were trying to do. I knew you were trying to distance yourself, and I wanted you to. I drove you away. I had some of my own decisions to make." She searched his eyes before continuing, hoping he was ready for the next part. "Tom, I was already pregnant when the condom broke. But I used it to gauge your reaction, it was the perfect opportunity, and when you went running to another women… I knew that you weren't ready for a kid. "
He sat there in dead silence, trying to wrap his head around the idea.
She had been pregnant with his child.
And now it was all he wanted.
It was funny how things changed.
He felt a lump raise in his throat and he cleared it before he uttered the words she knew were coming.
"Pregnant? Did you-"
She cut him off before he could say anymore.
"I miscarried. Three months in. All the stress. You had just left. I had an album to finish by myself. Kwest and Sadie were getting married. I was pregnant for god sakes! I wasn't ready for a child and my body knew it. I was just a child myself."
And now he understood.
Her father was the last straw.
She had nothing to drive her soul.
No Tom. No music. No baby. No father.
He was surprised that she had lasted that long.
And now he had to ask the dreaded question the he probably didn't want the answer to.
"If I hadn't had come, what would have happened?"
"Do I really need to answer that Tom?"
And that was his answer. She probably would have never gotten out of that bed.
Shaking his head of the thought, he wiggled his way down the bed so his head rested on the pillow and grabbed Jude's waist so that they were at equal heights again.
Pulling her into him once again, he breathed her in and softly kissed her neck.
He had spent the last four years dreaming of this reunion.
His lips met her neck repeatedly before moving on to her cheek and working his way to her lips.
A hair away from them he stopped.
Opening his eyes, he noticed how hers which were filled with anticipation and need.
"Jude, I missed you so much. And I don't think I'm finished loving you."
"Thank god." The way she was looking up at him through her eyelashes and the husky whisper that came out of her mouth made his stomach swirl with warmth. As he finally went to make the connection, she stopped him. "So tell me all about wonderful L.A!"
Tommy let out a groan knowing she was just teasing him as he felt the giggles vibrate through her chest.
"Well, where do I start? My boss was a complete prick…."
This was going to be a one shot while I was writing the first part and when Tommy was pulling back the sheets I was almost going to write in that she was dead but I had a hard time writing down that tommy was holding a dead decaying girl. Kinda gross so anyway it turned into this thing.
Hope yall enjoyed this and all of season four! YAY!