2014

"Which one?"

"That one!"

"This one?"

"No, that one!"

He moved his hand to the next box over on the shelf. "Oh, this one."

"No!"

"This one?"

"Yes!" Her Abby Cadabby sneakers squeaked on the floor as she hopped with excitement.

"I don't think so, Al. Yogurt in a tube is one thing, but peanut butter in a tube...that's just gross. You're supposed to eat peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon. Uh, don't tell Mom I said that. Sandwiches. I meant sandwiches."

"But Hank at school has them and they're good!"

"Okay, I know for a fact that peanut butter isn't allowed at school, so I kind of think you're lying. And what's lying?"

She tugged on one of her pigtails and mumbled, "...Not cool."

"So what do you owe me?"

She looked pensive for a moment, and then looked up at him, her big brown eyes extra wide. "A hug?"

He managed not to laugh. "Nice try. What do you owe me?"

A sigh, another fidget with her hair, and then, "...A timeout." But she wasn't quite ready to give up on negotiation. "Hank's mom doesn't give him timeouts."

"Yeah, well, Hank still wears Pull-Ups. I don't think we'll be taking tips from Hank's mom anytime soon." In fact, he was pretty sure Hank's mom came on to him once at pick-up time. Hank was straight-up bad news.

"How 'bout we go for the Teddy Grahams instead?"

If she hadn't been caught fibbing--they really had to work on that--she might have lobbied harder for the squeezy peanut butter. "Okay."

"Great." As he took the cookies off the shelf he experienced one of those surreal parenting moments of hearing himself say, completely naturally, something incredibly ridiculous. "They can have a party with the Cheddar Bunnies."

It didn't get quite the laugh he was hoping for--last year that would have killed--but she did seem kind of interested in the concept, and there followed a brief debate about whether the Teddy Grahams and the Cheddar Bunnies would even get along, and could Goldfish come to this party, seeing as they live underwater, and what about Gummi Worms?

Sometimes he got nostalgic for her toddler days, when he could just pick her up by the back of her overalls and point her in the right direction, but being able to have an actual conversation with her...that was pretty awesome.

"C'm'ere, Al, your hair's all crazy. Hold the FruitaBu."

“…and now I've lost them in the Target. It’s like having two four year olds.” Neela held her phone up with her shoulder as she pushed the cart up and down the aisles, searching.

"You love it," said Abby.

"Not right now I--"

Then she turned the corner into packaged foods and saw them, two aisles away. Her daughter stood next to an overflowing red shopping basket--she always liked to carry one of her own, until it got too heavy--and held the familiar bright green box of organic 'smooshed fruit', her lips moving haltingly as she tried to sound out the words on the back. Ray crouched behind her, attempting to realign two lopsided ponytails.

They wore identical expressions of intense concentration.

"Never mind."

She turned before they could see her and circled round the other direction until she was right behind them.

"Alice Jasbir Rasgotra-Barnett."

The two of them spun around in surprise, and she swallowed her laughter as Ray nearly fell over before standing up. "Do you always have to hit that last part so hard?" he asked.

"Oh there you are," said Alice.

"What did I say about wandering off?"

"You said not to and not to let Daddy wander off but I didn't want him to get lost and you were looking at purses so we got Teddy Grahams. Can I eat peanut butter out of the jar?"

"Absolutely not." She made eye contact with Ray, who was doing his best to look innocent, something he'd never been terribly good at.

He picked up Alice's basket and set it inside the cart with the stacks of books and sheets and shoes, the Nickelodeon-themed bath products, a new set of cereal bowls, and a colorful stuffed elephant tentatively named 'Daisy.' "Didn't we only come here for a few things?"

"Don't we always?"

"That's it. This place is dangerous. You ready to head home, ladies? Al, you don't wanna walk all the way to the car, do you?" He hoisted the giggling girl onto his shoulders and she clasped her little hands on top of his head to get her balance.

"Right," said Neela. "Let's go home."

END