Author: Jayeliwood PM
AU,OOC, All human. Disability doesn't mean you're not able. Can Edward get over his disability and himself to find true happiness with someone who cares deeply for him. Will he do anything to become whole for her? Winner of 3 Twilightawards best author!Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Drama - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 50 - Words: 155,946 - Reviews: 7,026 - Favs: 5,913 - Follows: 1,329 - Updated: 08-06-08 - Published: 06-11-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4317210
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer for the whole thing: I don't own a thing. There, I said it.
The day felt so warm. The concrete bench underneath me was hot and slightly uncomfortable but I still didn't feel comfortable with walking around here yet. I had memorized my way around but still, it's embarrassing to get lost. I knew how to get to my next class from this bench. I'd sit here until it was time. It was just easier that way.
I don't remember it ever being this hot in Chicago and I wondered how the people in Louisiana dealt with it. It was September... Wasn't it suppose to be fall or at least close to it?
A cool breeze flitted through the air, ruffling my hair. As if it wasn't messy enough. I dragged my fingers through it uselessly. I adjusted my sunglasses, pushing them further up my nose.
There was so much noise around campus. I could hear people laughing, and music playing from cars that passed. This seemed like a happy place. I enjoyed it.
"Is this spot taken?" I heard a soft voice beside me. I heard her foot steps as she approached but, I expected the person to pass. I was usually ignored.
"No. Go ahead." I waved my hand in front of me as an invitation. She took it.
I heard the rustling of clothing as she sat. I left my face forward so not to make her nervous. She sounded young, perhaps in her early 20's, if not younger. A sweet smell of strawberries wafted around my face.
"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" She asked in a conversational tone.
"It does feel nice," I replied. I wondered if she knew. Most people seem to figure it out. Could she be that unobservant?
"The sky is such a lovely blue," she said with a sigh. Yes, she could be that unobservant.
"I wouldn't know," I said, my voice turning sour. I could usually control it but I couldn't today.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm blind." I stated curtly. I decided it was time to go. I'm sure it was a little early but, I could wait outside until the professor was ready. I stood, pulling my cane from my side, snapping it into place.
"Oh... Oh! I'm so sorry!" I heard her call after me, but I kept walking. I'm sure she'd get the point.
No, apparently she was unobservant and stubborn. Great.
I heard her shoes click against the pavement as she ran behind me. I sighed, walking a little faster.
"I'm sorry! I'm just so... absent. I didn't mean to offend you."
"It's fine. I need get to class." My tone became more sour. I didn't know what came over me. Anger brewed in my stomach, making my chest hurt. I carefully took the two steps to the building and I searched for the door.
"Would you like some help?" I heard the girl ask in a little voice beside me.
"Listen, I've gotten along without a ton of help for about eighteen years now. I'm fine. Thanks." I said in a very low, cruel voice. I finally found the handle and pushed it open. I clicked my way inside, feeling along the wall. I didn't hear her foot steps behind me.
"I'm sorry..." She said finally from probably ten feet away. She was still by the door. She also sounded on the verge of tears.
I felt awful. Why was I being such a jerk? A normal person doesn't instantly know that I'm blind. I'm wearing glasses. She probably just thought I was resting on a bench watching the people in the yard. I took a deep breath and ran my fingers over my forehead. I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath.
As for first days go this was a beautiful one. It was the perfect temperature. It would still be in the hundreds in Phoenix, or at least feel like it. I pushed my hair off my shoulders letting the breeze cool my skin.
I didn't have class for another thirty minutes or so but, I didn't want to head back to my apartment simply to turn around and leave again. I walked through the busy quad, watching the people in groups talking or practicing various things.
I looked for a place to sit. Most places seemed to be jam packed with young adults. Of course, most people at Centenary College were from Shreveport. They all went to school together. They were already friends. I guess it wouldn't have made a difference for me wherever I went. I never really had a ton of friends anywhere.
I finally spotted a bench with an only one occupant. He was tall and lean, lightly muscled. I watched as his reddish brown hair flutter in the wind. He ran this long thin fingers through it, pushing it out of his face. He pushed his rounded silver framed sunglasses up this perfect nose. He seemed so pale and I wondered if he was from here. Of course not, if he had been he would have been part of another group.
I don't know what came over me, I just decided I wanted to talk to this beautiful man. What's the worse he could do? Run away from me?
"Is this spot taken?" I asked, fighting the urge to turn around and run.
"No, go ahead." He waved his hand in front of him, as if asking me to sit on his lap. I smiled but hid it quickly. He wasn't even looking at me, which I thought was strange.
I sat, using my arms to prop myself up. I lifted my face up to the sky, letting the sun beat down on my ivory skin. "Beautiful day isn't it?"
"It does feel nice," he said a bit vaguely. He still didn't look at me, but just forward. I wondered if he was shy.
I took in a deep nervous breath, letting it come out slowly. "It's such a lovely blue," I said, trying to grasp for something to talk about it.
"I wouldn't know." Any warmth that was in his lovely voice before hand was gone. He instantly became rigid, like a statue.
"What do you mean?" I asked confused. I looked over his face, trying to search his face for what annoyed him so much. Was I that ugly to him that I was just being a bother?"
"I'm blind," he stated, getting up quickly. He put together a long thin red and white cane and began to walk away.
It took several seconds for what he said to settle in, and a few seconds after that to figure out what an idiot I was being. "Oh..." I stood up and walked after him. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I just so absent. I didn't mean to offend you."
"It's fine, I just need to get to class," he nearly growled at me. I'm glad he couldn't see me flinch back and instantly felt bad for thinking that way.
"Would you like some help?" I asked, trying to think of a way to make up for being such an idiot.
He turned his face towards my voice, his expression rather frightening. "Listen, I've gotten along without a ton of help for about eighteen years now. I'm fine. Thanks." His beautiful hand found the door knob and pushed it open.
I stopped following him at this point. I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes. I took a deep breath, trying to keep them at bay until he couldn't hear me anymore
"I'm sorry," I repeated before pushing myself down the hall to the tiny ladies restroom. I threw him one last glance as I passed. He was leaning up against the wall, his hand on his face. His lips were a tight straight line.
I felt guilty and rejected all in the same time. I made it into the room and locked the door. I went to the mirror.
"How could you be so stupid?" I asked the reflection. Tears were streaming down my face. I grabbed one of those awful rough brown paper towels and wiped my face. I looked at my watch, ten more minutes, just giving me enough time to run off to my class.
It was a relief to be sitting in the small Literature class. I felt safe here. Surround by books and my idols, I pulled out my laptop to prepare. It wasn't long until my professor came in, gibbering about outlines. I let myself get lost in his words, even if they were a little boring. Most of the books we were going over this term I'd already read, several times some of them. At least it would be easy.
One day down, four more years to go.
All I wanted to do was crawl into bed. I pushed open my apartment door wearily only to be pounced upon by my new roommate. She was nice enough, if not a little crazy.
"Hey there! There you are! I just wanted to let you know that we're going to have a get together tonight. Just a small group of friends, not more then 20 people I think. Don't you think that's a good idea?" She said so quickly I had a hard time catching it all.
"Well, you have a good time. I'll be in my room," I yawned, dragging my feet through the living room.
"Aw! Come on! You don't have to do anything, just leave your room! It'll be fun, Bella! You don't know anyone. Don't you think it would be nice?" Alice bounced beside me, taking my arm.
I had only known this little ball of pixie dust and hyper energy about a week now but, I'm pretty sure she thought we were friends. I did like her, even if she was too girlish for me.
"Fine. I'm going to take a nap, though. I had kind of a bad day." I waved her off, slinking into my room. I laid gratefully on the twin mattress, cuddling my pillow tightly to my chest.
"What happened?" She asked from my door way. I could tell she was actually concerned and that made me feel a lot better.
"Oh, just made an ass of myself to a really hot guy earlier," I muttered into the downy pillow.
"We all have those days! It'll get better." She said cheerfully before shutting the door behind her. I heard her skipping down the hallway. "Hey Jazzy! Could you go get the drinks?!"
I found my way back to my dorm room easily. Thankfully it was on the bottom floor. It was fairly small and I was glad it was clean. At least my new roommate respected me enough not to be a slob. I would have had to move otherwise.
I sat down on my bed and pulled the tape recorder from my backpack. I started to rewind it so I could listen to the lecture over again. It had be a fairly easy day but I was sure it was going to get tougher.
The happenings of early replayed in my mind. This poor girl was just trying to be nice to me and I was a jerk. That was a great way to start out my college career.
The door opened, letting the warm air from the hall way rush in. I made a face at the stickiness but didn't say anything. My roommate's now familiar footsteps clicked on the floor.
"Hey Edward, I've got to go to the store to get some stuff for my girlfriend's party, would you like to join me?" He must have been getting his keys and wallet, the metal clattering loudly against each other.
"No, that's okay." I turned my recorder off and placed it back in the bag.
He let out a heavy sigh, "Look, my girlfriend is a little crazy and if I don't bring you she's going to give me hell. Now, can you please join me so I don't have to listen to Alice whine about me being rude all evening?"
I laughed a little at the poor Texan. From what I heard of his girlfriend of two years she was loud and in charge. But, whenever she called he melted like butter. He was happy with her and I was happy for him, if not a little jealous. That was something I could never have.
"Alright, but just because I don't want you to get in trouble."
I placed everything I needed carefully in my pocket. Wallet, phone, keys. I pulled my cane out again, ready to walk wherever we needed.
"Alright, first stop, Kroger's. Then on to Alice's." He sounded so relieved. I chuckled a little, humoring him by letting him lead me to the parking lot.
It didn't take long to get what we needed. I always liked the cool of the freezers in these kind of stores. Jasper always kept an easy comfortable conversation. He was one of the few people that didn't seem nervous with me.
"So, what exactly is your major?" I asked as he helped me climb into the over sized truck.
"History and Education. I want to be a professor."
"Planning on being in school for the rest of your life, I see," I said a bit sarcastically. He laughed as he brought the truck to life.
"There are worse things." He said, his accent coming out heavily. I enjoyed listening to him. Especially when he said anything with an I in it.
I was greeted by his high pitched girlfriend with a tight hug. She smelled like pineapples and sugar. It was a pleasant smell at least. She seemed rather short. "Hi, I'm Alice. You must be Edward. It's nice to meet you."
"Thanks," I muttered, pulling away from her hug. She took my hand and lead me over to a couch. These people seemed comfortable with me, surprisingly. Normally, I didn't like being lead around but, I didn't mind them so much.
My parents always complained that I was too independent. They hated it that I moved down here. When I told them it had the best music program and a full scholarship, they relented. I knew money truly wasn't an issue but, I earned this and I wanted to do it on my own.
More and more people came, the noise level increasing. Music started playing and laughter unfolded around my sensitive ears. Jasper brought me a coke, asking me if I was fine. I simply nodded and that must have been enough for him because he disappeared again.
People would sit for a moment and then leave. A few people said hi but, other then that they ignored me. I was use to it. I guess I deserved it after the jerk I acted like earlier today. I leaned my head back, listening to the poppy music that I didn't really like.
I heard foot steps in front of me. They were soft, most likely female. A delicious scent of strawberries wrapped around me.
"Would it be okay if I apologized again?"
Hey guys! I know I had a lot of mistakes when I first posted this on fan fiction so I decided to work on it and start posting in on twilighted, as well as reposting it on ff. I hope you don't mind. If there are still mistakes I am sorry. I am going to continue working on it! If there are any huge mistakes you see, please let me know and explain where it is so I can fix it.