A/N: Splee! This chapter is a personal favorite of mine... not that that guarantees it's any good, but I LIKE IT. 8D So. Yeah.

Story now.

We are on the cutting edge of technology.
Disney's The Brave Little Toaster

10/3/02

1:56 AM

He woke up suddenly to a dark, empty science bay.

XR blinked a few times, moaning groggily. Right. The stupid meet. Ugggh. He'd forgotten all about it.

He sat up, wincing. Golly, was he tired. He considered skipping out, but something inside him rebelled. It was a little creepy, actually, and he scrambled out of his charger.

His 'sister' MALIK was standing by the doorway waiting for him, her arms folded tightly over her chest, impatiently tapping one foot. Her face sported its usual dour frown.

He frowned back at her. The little unit wouldn't give him a second glance any other time (provided he wasn't in her way), and yet every single week she was here waiting for him. He supposed he'd like it, if it didn't seem like she was only there because she didn't trust him to show up on time or something. She wasn't exactly what he'd call a friendly face, anyway, even if she was his sister. Somethin' creepy about that one.

Now she was searching his face in a way that was so far from polite he had to flinch.

"You look somewhat..." She paused, obviously groping for a word.

"Tired. I'm tired and I have a headache," he complained, going past her. She followed beside him, her small legs hitting the ground with a sharp, even clacking as she fell into her usual military march.

"I wouldn't have put it that way," she said.

What other way was there to put it? Oh, well. "Mm."

"Is there a virus going around that I do not know about?" she said, her voice becoming slightly sharper.

"No, you won't catch anything," he said, rolling his eyes and saying in a voice loaded with sarcasm "Geez, May. I'm worried about you too, ya know."

"Don't be. I'm functioning at full capacity."

Sometimes he wondered if they were really built by the same people. "Good for you, May."

She fell silent beside him. He gnawed his lip, struck by a sudden thought.

He'd rather have shared this with XL than MALIK, but XL wasn't there, and he supposed the question was more relevant to his sister anyway. Still, he hesitated. Maybe he didn't really need to say it at all.

"You look like you're about to speak," she said. Oh. Well. Might as well, then.

"Do you ever wish they... y'know, paid you?" he asked.

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Paid... me?"

"Yeah, you know, Star Command... do you ever wish they gave us money, like the organics?"

"Gave... us..." she said, looking completely blank. "What would I do with money?"

He sighed. Yeah, typical. "Buy food?"

"Star Command pays for our fuel..." she said slowly, frowning.

"Well- haven't you ever wanted to just buy something for yourself?" he demanded, then sort of wished he could take it back. He wasn't gonna get a good answer from her.

"No..." Sure enough.

He sighed. "Good for you, May."

"Don't call me that."

They'd come to the conference room. He entered. The usual meeting-goers were grouped around the table, Dyna, the Commander's desk and (though she had no physical body) he was guessing Motherboard. All female. Blaaargh.

He sat down next to Dyna, making no attempt to hide his exhaustion. Across the table from him, MALIK sat down and assumed a prim pose. He noticed she was throwing him the occasional quizzical glance. Why did he bother talking to her again?

"Ah," Motherboard said above them. "I see everyone's here. We can get started."

She generated a throat-clearing noise and said "First, Dyna. You've done a fantastic job this week, my dear."

XR never got a 'my dear'.

MALIK generated a throat-clearing noise and Motherboard sighed. "Yes, May."

"I would just like to point out that Dyna left quite a bit of dirt on-"

"Desk," Motherboard said, talking over her. "Your performance has left a little to be desired."

Desky moved her body in a way that appeared to be meant as a shrug.

"Your aggressive tendencies, dear... remember last meeting?"

I'll work on it, Desky broadcasted.

"I certainly hope so."

MALIK nodded, looking smug. Desky shrugged again.

"XR."

Oh, here it comes, he thought, shrinking in his chair.

"You've been bad-mouthing your superiors again."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't call it bad-mouthing exactly-"

"XR, I talked to you about this. If your attitude doesn't improve, well..."

"Yeah, sorry," he mumbled.

"Yes, prototype," MALIK said, folding her arms over her chest. "What is the matter with you?"

"And as for you, May," Motherboard snapped, and XR watched as his sister got her weekly chew-out. This could be immensely gratifying, but right now he was too busy wanting to go back to bed to get much joy out of it.

He closed his eyes and sat in silence until the meeting was over, letting his mind wander.

He'd attended his first meet when he was six months old. It happened late one night when he was fast asleep- and therefore, the logic follows, not particularly interested in discovering a new weekly ritual at the moment- and then he just woke up out of nowhere. Just woke up and- and he had this feeling he needed to be somewhere. No, a really strong feeling. Almost like a pulling in his brain, and he got up and sort of just automatically floundered out into the hallway.

He wound up in the conference room, and he realized the Commander's desk was there too, along with that cute new janitor- what was her name, Dinah?

This had been before MALIK was even a blueprint, and he'd sat down next to Desky, who'd greeted him with a cheerful Hey, little cuz!

And then this twangy, female voice had rung out from nowhere. He'd frozen, wide-eyed.

"Hey, hon'!"

"Whoa! Who's there?"

"Oh, I'm the station, honey."

XR blinked. This had been before 42, so he hadn't really known what to do with this information.

"I'm a backup system," the voice had clarified (yeah, clear like mud). "You can call me Motherboard."

"Oh, okay..." he said, frowning.

"Well, this here is a little meet we have here every week. You will be here every week, won't you?"

Something in her voice had suggested this was not a request and he'd nodded, blinking.

"Okay, good! Well, I think we can get started now..."

And then she'd given everyone their reports and sent them away. XR had been glad to leave. The whole experience was kind of... surreal.

Oh, he'd gotten used to it after a few weeks... but man, those things were still so boring.

In fact-

"PROTOTYPE!"

He jerked awake, staring. Across the table, MALIK was raising an eyebrow and giving him the closest thing she had to a smirk.

"You okay?" Dyna said, frowning. "Desky and me tried to wake you up, but we had to get May to do it."

"I have an internal volume control that can be turned up when necessary," MALIK said, folding her hands in front of her on the table.

"I know you do," XR snapped. This was far from the first time he'd dozed off at one of these stupid things, but it was the first time he'd been caught.

"I was trying to tell you the meeting is over," Motherboard said, with a definite hint of coolness.

"Oh, I wouldn't have wanted to miss that," XR said, stretching. Then he winced. "Uh- sorry. Sorry. I'll just be going then."

He left the room.

5:07 PM

The work day was another remarkably uneventful one, and XR was actually able to get away early. He got busy delivering packages and had just delivered his first one of the night when on his way back to get the next one, his leg twisted with a loud snap and he went down with a cry.

He picked himself up, shaking his head. "Unh... what-" His leg wouldn't support any weight and he realized that stupid dog bite from two nights ago had been steadily tearing open farther until his whole stupid leg had broken into two pieces held together only by the internal cable, which wasn't designed to be holding his whole darn leg together and would probably snap too any second here.

He sighed. He'd have to get it fixed. Did he know any mechanics on Tradeworld?

He thought for a minute, then snapped his fingers, smiling. Yes he did.

11:46

Carrie Orion sat perched on her desk, surveying the empty waiting room. Her shop was open 24/7, but since no one was here...

She considered this. Maybe she could close up until morning, just this once. She was heading carefully towards the door when it banged open. She yelped.

The robot who had just entered turned to face her, ticking. She sighed and rolled her eyes as she recognized him.

"What now, XR?"

"Hey, I wouldn't take that tone with your best customer," he said with some disappointment, frowning. Then he thrust a ragged half of a leg at her. Ew. She drew back.

"I need this fixed," he said. "Oh, and-"

"And what?" she said shortly, taking the leg-half.

"Where's your sister?" he asked.

"Annie works days."

"Ah," he said, visibly disappointed.

She huffed, putting one hand on her hip. "I know everyone loves her, but no, you can't have her."

"I didn't say-"

"I'm afraid I'll just have to do," she continued, looking through her supplies. "You'll just have to put up with me, and no, you can't run up a tab."

"I wasn't going to-" he began to chuckle nervously.

"You always do," she cut him off.

He swallowed. "So can you fix it?"

"Sure," she said, leading him towards her workroom, where he obligingly held the broken leg out. She started welding.

After a moment he asked "So... how's it going?"

"Fine," she said briefly.

XR nodded.

After a minute of awkward silence he said

"Ever heard the one about the Irken and the mermaid?"

"Ugh! Yes, I've heard it!"

10/4/02

5:35 PM

Carrie's fee was disappointingly high, and the rest of the night was spent just trying to fill in that little hole. It was 7:30 in the morning by the time he got back to Star Command.

That day at work was, unfortunately, not as good as the previous two, he blew up twice, but oh well. No big deal. Anyway, the second it turned 5:00, he rushed into the science bay, looking for a certain someone.

5:36

And there was just the guy he wanted to see.

"Frank," he called. "Oh Frank."

The small alien turned, blinking compound eyes at him. "Yes?" he croaked in a froggy voice, cringing a little.

Generations of service under Emperor Zurg had a tendency to make grubs very submissive. Yeah, submissive. Wimps, was what they were.

XR leaned casually against the wall, folding his arms over his chest. "C'mere a minute, Frankie."

He gestured.

Swallowing, Frank crept closer. He'd been at Star Command for five years now but hadn't gotten used to not living in constant terror. Just fine with XR.

"Don't you owe me a little something?" he said.

Frank's antennae pressed to his head. "O-owe you something?"

"Oh, let me refresh your memory. Poker game... a few weeks ago..."

"P-poker?"

"Yeah, poker. Oh, it was a good game. We played for two hours and-"

"And?"

Oh, for crying out loud. He had to know what he was getting at. "And? What do you mean, and? You owe me ten thousand Unibucks, Frank," he said, scowling.

Frank did a world-class cringe and started babbling about various things.

"Yeah, yeah," he said. "Look, pal, I'll let it go if you can just give me some of that. Three thousand Unibucks. How 'bout that? Pretty good deal, right?"

The simpering light in Frank's eyes almost made him gag. "Oh, yes, mister ranger! How-"

"Today, please," he snapped.

"Oh, yes! I'm sure-" And he babbled on and on as he wrote out a check. XR looked away over his shoulder, bored.

After far too long than it reasonably should've taken a small slip of paper was pressed into his hand. XR studied it, pleased, then bade farewell to Frank and went off to cash the check.

7:12

He tapped his foot rapidly against the metal, leaning back until he rested against the wall. His eyes never left the doorway and his arms were folded protectively over his chest.

DePalma had called him not ten minutes earlier, demanding that XR meet him in this cargo bay.

The bay was empty, as it usually was (Star Command didn't have that great of a need for cargo). That left nothing to interrupt his floundering, panicky thought processes.

XR counted through the money again. He had all of it. He couldn't believe he'd managed it. Man, these past three days had gone by fast.

He clutched the money protectively to his chest, obsessively watching the doorway. Three, four, five times he heard footsteps in the hall and his entire body stiffened, his insides lurching in apprehension, only to see an LGM waddling past and slump back against the wall, sighing and rolling his eyes.

The sixth time he heard footsteps they were heavier and slower. He tensed up, trembling.

Ranger Ty Parsec walked in with a scowl. Craters. XR forced a grin and waved. "Hi there."

He cracked his knuckles. "Money," he rumbled in DePalma's deep voice.

XR started, then chuckled, a thin sound bordering on hysterical. "Right to the point, I see... okay, okay, wait a minute here."

He handed the wad of unibucks over to the guy, who immediately began counting it. Yeah. Trusting.

DePalma-Ty grunted and lumbered off without another word. XR slumped back against the wall, mouth gaping.

Wow. That was... fast. He half expected the guy to come running back in, but minutes passed and he didn't.

He nodded at the base of his helmet, gulping. Well. Okay.

Why didn't he feel any better?

His communicator rang and he automatically (almost mechanically, ha ha yeah whatever) held it to his face.

"'sar here," he mumbled. It was Marian's face on the screen.

"Ranger."

They all called him 'ranger'. XR found it flattering. Yes, yes he was a ranger.

"Mmhmmm?"

"Why aren't you here working?"

Oh, that was why he didn't feel any better.

"Oh, about that," he said. "Uh, I was thinkin', maybe..." He was thinking he should go ahead and quit. The delivery job stunk.

"Maybe what?"

Marian's tone and expression weren't very conducive to argument. He swallowed.

"Well, I don't strictly..."

He was about to say he didn't need money anymore, but actually, he kinda did. He'd given all his to that DePalma dude. But... man, he was tired, and...

"Strictly what?" Marian said, very clearly, and XR jumped. Marian was glaring at him.

The thought of all the big, beefy thugs he'd seen hanging around the place flashed through his head. "Oh, uh, just sayin' I'll be right there!"

"Good."

And he cut the call.

Why did he do this to himself?