A/N: Well, I'm sorry if this is a little rough, my beta writers were all unavailable. Please leave constructive criticism if you find anything off, and I'll edit it and re-upload.

You poor unfortunate soul

Go ahead, make your choice

I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day

It won't cost much

Just your voice!

-Disney's The Little Mermaid, 'Poor Unfortunate Souls'

10/08/02

5:01 PM

All day XR was just as quiet and obedient as a team captain could want. He obeyed orders without a murmur, was conscientious and polite, and didn't even tell one filthy joke.

He was also incredibly subdued, and while Buzz and Booster took this new attitude to be penitence for his erratic behavior yesterday, Mira was not convinced.

5:02

"Well, goodbye, team," Buzz said with a wave.

"G'bye, guys," Booster said as well, turning in the opposite direction.

"Good luck with fixing your parent's tiller," Mira said, waving.

XR stood next to her for a moment, watching them go, then he silently turned to leave.

"Oh, no you don't," Mira said, putting her hands on her hips.

He turned to blink at her.

"I want to talk to you," she said. "Just- just you and me."

Far be it from XR to pass up a chance to be alone with Mira. He obediently followed her back into a secluded spot behind a Star Cruiser.

She squatted down in front of him to get to his eye level. He drew back a little, studying her face.

"Did you really love Patty?" she said, that worry line appearing on her forehead again.

It took XR a few moments to figure out what she was talking about. "Oh, uhh..."

"You did, didn't you?"

"Well-"

"You don't have to explain, just..." She touched his helmet. He froze, searching her face. She looked very open and kind... and mother of Venus, she was so close.

"J-just what?" he stammered.

"XR...want you to be careful. Okay?" she said softly. "Remember when 42 was working here, after you broke up?"

"How could I forget?" he muttered.

"I don't want you to have to go through that again." She put a warm hand on his shoulder. He swallowed.

"Oh. Okay."

She stood up, shaking back her long mane of red hair. He very closely watched the movement of said hair as it settled around her shoulders. It looked so smooth and touchable.

He fastened his hands behind his back.

"Yeah, so just- j-just be careful, okay?" she stammered.

"Okay," he said.

"All right." She nodded, smiling, and left.

He watched her go with his hand over where his heart should be.

5:59 PM

XR made his way down to the furnace room in a dazed, dreamy state. He looked like he needed a stack of books to carry, he looked so much like a lovestruck schoolgirl.

However, reality set in when he entered the dark room. XR never came down here when things were going well. He'd cried over 42 in the furnace room, a lot, he'd cried over the ending of several movies in the furnace room, nearly as much, and when he'd really had the crap pounded out of him at work he came down here to sleep it off.

Now he was here to hide.

He plopped down in the beat-up orange beanbag chair he'd dragged down here forever ago, and pulled out the business card Carrie'd given him. He took out a small vidphone and dialed.

It rang, then clicked. The screen stayed dark, whoever Kila was she must have an audio-only phone.

"I'm not buyin no crap," a small, childlike, rather petulant voice said.

XR raised an eyebrow. Funny. She sounded familiar. "I'm not sellin' anything. Carrie gave me your business card."

"Carrie?" the voice said. "I thought she threw those out! Or burned them!"

XR noticed she had a strange accent. He wondered a moment where it came from. He was pretty sure he knew it from somewhere. "Uh... no. No. Uh... listen, Miss Jookiba- all right- look, I hope you can help me, see..." He looked away a moment. "I sorta... got some people after me..."

"Yeees?" she said rather pleasantly. "And this is my problem how?"

He sputtered. "This is- I wanted to hire you to help me! But if you don't-"

"Oh! Oh- well- in that case-" she yammered. "Who is it?"

He began to blink rapidly. Wow, this was hard, after spending so long not talking about it. "Um, we-e-ell... y'see..."

"IRS?" she said. "I can kill them for you."

"Eh?" Kill?

"Oh. Never mind. What is it, then?"

"It's, uh... well, it's the- the mob."

He began to wring his hands together. He wasn't so sure he liked this girl.

There was a short silence, then "Okay, that's not funny."

"What?" he said, staring.

"Did Carrie put you up to this? Because-"

"Hey- hey man, I'm serious here!" he said, waving his hands. "Please! Look- I-"

"Yeah, right!"

"L-listen! Some guy grabbed me last night and shot me! Ask Carrie! She fixed me up! Please!" Tears welled up in his eyes suddenly. All this time keeping all this hidden and now she wasn't believing it. "Please don't hang up!"

"But a mob."

"On Tradeworld! I- I-needed money-"

He choked up suddenly and had to stop.

"Seriously?" the voice on the other end demanded. He sniffled.

"Yes, but if you're not going to take me seriously- because, see, I don't need some random- I don't need this! Not from you, not from-"

"Meet me in person."

He blinked. "What?"

"I need to see you for myself," she said brusquely.

He frowned. "What'm I, a science experiment?"

"Do you want my help or not?"

He sighed, looking down. "Look- they're after my hide. I can't leave Star Command."

"Yeah, right. Pansy."

His head shot up. "What?"

"I call you a pansy."

Of course, the word Kila used wasn't literally 'pansy', that's an Earth term. What she said was 'afilima'. 'Afilima' literally means 'wife robot' and refers to a robot built to be the ideal marital partner. When afilimabsha first came out, they weren't such ideal partners after all, every one having an identical, stereotypical 'wifish' personality- nagging, henpecking, and very, very wussy. Nowadays, 'afilima' means someone acting like such (despite modern afilimabsha having made-to-order personalities that are rarely so awful).

Either way, XR didn't appreciate being called an afilima. "Listen, kid," he snapped. "My life is in danger here. This huge, beefy thug-"

"Excuses, excuses."

"Hey!" His hands clenched into fists. "Look, you! I don't need some Tradeworld punk telling me how to act! I've been living in fear for the past week-"

"Yeah, okay. Sure. Afilima."

"I can hang up at any time!"

"G'head. I don't need your cowardly kind."

"Listen, you little snot," he said with an emphatic point, "I'm GONNA meet you. I'm gonna meet you and I'm gonna beat the everlovin' crap outta ya if you don't-"

"Sure."

"You. Me. Cosmo's."

"Where?"

"It's a diner right between Star Command and Capital Planet. You can't miss it. Unless you're stupid." He folded his arms over his chest, nodding. "And I have a feeling you might be stupid."

"Oh, I'm not stupid."

"Sure you aren't."

"You're stupid. Stupid."

"Oho, you just go ahead and tell yourself that if it makes you feel better."

"Seven?"

"Bring it on."

There was a beep. He blinked. She'd hung up.

Well, what the heck.

7:01 PM

XR entered Cosmo's to find... Cosmo's. Just... normal, bustling Cosmo's.

He leaned against the wall next the the door, folding his arms over his chest and frowning. He'd just realized he had no idea what this person looked like. He waited by the door a minute, watching the people who came in for signs that they had some purpose in mind, but everyone who entered was in a group. As he waited, the uncomfortable feeling crept up on him that it might not be quite sporting to beat up this girl. For a girl she undoubtedly was. And she hadn't sounded very impressive on the phone. In fact, she'd sounded like a little girl.

Then again, alien species could sound deceptive. She could be Valkyrian or something.

Gradually, he became aware of a small-even-by-his-standards person sitting hunched on a bench by the wall; huddled in a trench coat and generally looking unobtrusive and submissive. He raised an eyebrow and approached.

"Hey, uh- are you waiting for someone?" he asked, and they stared up at him, blinking rapidly.

He did a double-take, realizing he'd seen her before. On Tradeworld. Delivering those stupid, stinking packages... she'd been talking on the phone.

"It's you!" he said.

"Yes," she said, recoiling and giving him a wary look. She looked ready to flee. "Why?"

"Name's XR," he said, sizing her up. Small, furry and green with wide, strange eyes, flat-chested and rather like a rabbit with a longer tail in general appearance. Wrapped in loose, plain clothes, maybe to disguise the flat chest. All in all, very unimpressive.

"Kila," she said shortly, sticking her hand out. He reached for it and she pulled away, jamming the hand into her pocket and looking down rather apologetically.

"Okay?" he said with a frown. What? His hands were clean!

There was a pause.

"Are you gonna beat me up or not?" she demanded. "Becasue I don't have all day, kid."

She only came up to about where his nose would've been if he'd had one. He swallowed.

"Let's try talking this out first."

7:07

Kila swirled the straw around in her drink for what had to be the tenth freaking time, making a loud clicking noise as the ice hit the sides of the glass. Her ear twitched and she said "You know, I have no idea why Carrie thought you should have my number."

He just nodded, one hand covering his face. He had no idea either. Maybe it was a cruel joke.

"I mean, for crying out loud, I'm not a bodyguard."

"Mm-hmm." He just wanted this over. This Kila person was obviously not going to be of help.

"However..." she said slowly. "Eh... what do you want me to do exactly?"

"I don't know." Stay away from me.

"You don't know."

"I don't know."

Her voice became rather irritable. "I can't do anything if I don't know what to do."

XR looked away, huffing. "I just- can we talk somewhere less public?" If we must talk at ALL? "I mean-" He shuddered suddenly and huddled in his seat, looking frantically around the room. He'd just realized anyone here could be a hired thug.

Kila leaned over, raising one eyebrow at him with a disparaging look. "Problem?"

He closed his eyes, shaking. "Who, me? No, I'm just probably gonna die."

She leaned back, frowning and continuing to stir the drink while she studied him. "Seriously. You're that frightened."

He swallowed.

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh-kay. You're either the most paranoid man I've ever met or you're in it up to the top of that helmet. I'm not sure which I like less. They both reflect badly on you."

He was about to take offense when he realized that one was true. He sighed, putting the back of one hand against his helmet. "Well, it's p-pretty bad." He closed his eyes. "I shouldn't ask you to get involved... you're just an innocent..."

She didn't look impressed. "All right... look, if you're that scared you'll be overheard, just write it down or something so I can tell you no and we can get on with our lives. I doubt your issue is worth all this."

He found he still had it in him to bristle. "Okay, who the heck are you to say I don't have a problem? I have a problem!"

"Oh, you have problems all right," she said, holding her hands up.

He leapt to his feet, his fists clenched at his sides. "LOOK, kid!" His engine started to tick loudly. She gave him a startled look. "I'm a space ranger! I've fought Zurg!" Her eyes went to his Star Command decal for the first time and she froze. "Yeah, that's right! SPACE RANGER!" He started to tremble. "I'm not asking you to beat up the kid who stole my lunch money! My life is on the line! I could get turned into scrap! I- I could lose my job!"

Hearing that last part aloud for the first time seemed to make it more concrete, more real. His eyes widened and his hands flew to his mouth. For a robot, job and life are one and the same- no. Losing your job because you're unfit to do it is worse than death for a robot. They will be forever marred- even if they're sold and given work again, they'll always know they're failures. And so will every other machine they come across. Now XR was flooded with a familiar sense of dread, the same cold fear that had driven him to keep this whole thing secret in the first place- he was transported back to the moment he'd found out XL had stolen his AFD (not fit for duty) when he'd been told he had mental fatigue (not fit for duty) when he'd been implanted with that mind-control device (not fit for duty) if his team found out if ANYONE found out sweet holy mother of Venus

Above their heads, one of the lights flashed extra-bright for a second and went out, seeming to illustrate his feelings. He voiced a small cry and buried his face in his hands.

After a moment, he felt soft paws on his shoulders. "Shh," Kila said in his ear, her voice low and her demeanor suddenly much different. "Shh, sha-kido. Is all right. Come. We'll discuss it."

Exhausted, he let her herd him out to her car and bundle him into the passenger seat. He sat there frozen while she started up the engine.

7:23

XR finally took his hands away from his face, swallowing. Wow. He'd had kind of a... mini-breakdown there.

He sniffled.

Beside him, Kila said quietly- "Now- what was that, exactly?"

He squeezed his eyes shut. He had no reason to trust her. For all he knew, she could be working for Marian...

"I... I... this guy came up to me and he wanted fifty thousand Unibucks what the HECK was up with that?!" he exploded, throwing his arms out. "WHO THE HISH" 'Hish' is a Standard word that will not be translated here at the risk of offending readers "CARRIES AROUND THAT KINDA MONEY? I didn't have the money, of COURSE I didn't have the money and he said he was gonna kill me. I don't wanna die! For cyring out loud! So I go and I get a job and I didn't know I was working for the mooooob" and here he dissolved into long-suppressed sobs.

"Oh. Kay," she said.

He made a choking sound. His helmet was already full of oil tears.

"You need tissue," she said. "And, uh, I don't think your voice works. Okay. Kid. Um- I'm sorry. Really. But-"

But she wasn't going to help him. Of course. He'd spilled his guts out, confided in her- and she wasn't going to do a thing and oh, sweet MOTHER OF VENUS

"Please don't. Please. You- you said your name was A-Tyr?" ('A-Tyr' is short for 'abshomema-Tyrianga', which means 'prototypical robot ranger', or, 'experimental ranger'. Thus, 'XR'. Another example of how this story has been Americanized for your convenience.) "A-Tyr? Don't cry no more. Please. Please stop crying. You're scaring the crap out of everyone within a mile radius."

With some difficulty- a lot of difficulty- he pulled himself together, swallowing hard. "If-if y-you make fuh- fun of me-"

"No fun," she said.

"I'm juh-" He swallowed. "Juh-"

"Just..." she prompted.

"Just not... I don't know." He looked away. "Dang..." Eesh, he really had lost it. He didn't even know if he could trust this chick. Oh well, nothin' he could do now.

She drummed her fingers on the dashboard. "So you've got mob issues."

"Mmmhmmm."

"Okay. Well- look- I'm sorry for your puppy sob story. But really, I can't..." He looked down. She bit her lip and said with sudden force "Look. I can help you if you pay me. All right? And ONLY if you pay me!" Her voice became nearly hysterical. "I don' run a charity! I- what do you want from me?"

"I don't know!" he moaned. "Carrie gave me your card and- I just want help- I don't know, I should just go-"

"I'll hide you at my apartment!"

He turned to her. "What?"

She nodded frantically. "Yeah. If you pay me- I can- I can do a bodyguard thing. Okay?"

"Oh," he said, blinking. "Wow. Really?" He had a sneaking feeling this might or might not be a good thing, but whatever. By this point he was perfectly willing to transfer his worries onto a total stranger. He collapsed in his seat, closing his eyes. "Okay!"

"Okay?" she said, shooting him a troubled look. "That's okay? You have to pay me, you know."

"Okay," he said.

7:45

She turned on the light, frowning. "Well, this is it."

XR looked around, sniffling. Just your typical apartment.

There was a couch. He staggered towards it. Kila folded her arms over her chest, watching. Her lips were clamped together in a big frown.

"Don't touch anything," she said as he flopped down on the couch. "Besides the couch. Look- you and I have to leave tomorrow before Carrie gets back from work, okay? She comes home in mornings. She work nights."

He mumbled something, already half-asleep.

"You might want to plug in before you turn off," Kila said. "Look, A-Tyr..." She frowned, then shook her head. "Never mind. You'd better pay me freakin' well for this, all I can say."

She went off to bed. XR plugged himself into the wall and flopped face-down on the couch, sniffling. The fact was sinking in that he'd invited more money issues by doing this.

He fell asleep before he could fully realize what that meant.