sorry for taking so long to update anything. here's a long chapter to make up for it. this story is nearing the end. i feel maybe one or two chapters away. please enjoy.

warning: contains adult themes, a guest appearence of the good general cross, narein misunderstanding everything he says to him and heartbreak.

also, i plan on covering narein's conversation with cross from the other's perspective in his story. it should be funny if you read both.

For days Narein had meditated on just how he could free his dear Allen from the man he called Master. As far as he could tell the red haired man had no redeeming qualities; there was nothing he could possible have to teach that would be worth Allen staying with him. His sister kept subtly suggesting that it was a fool’s errand. She was probably right; she usually was about such things and Allen wasn’t speaking to him… again. He would give anything to talk to him; he needed to explain the love mark he had accidentally given him.

He had gotten a little carried away yesterday. Allen was feeling generous and letting him kiss him during lunch. As usual, Narein had been the only one doing the kissing; he sat behind the other boy, rubbing tense shoulders and peppering the back of his neck with little kisses. Allen liked backrubs. Narein was happy to give them anytime they had time together. But he went too far; Narein kissed a little too hard on his neck and left a mark. Allen turned like lightening and struck him hard enough to split his lip.

I deserve this… he thought as he swept the leaves from one of the garden paths. How could someone make him feel so happy and so miserable at the same time? His tongue prodded the little cut on his lip. Figures, he gave Allen a hickey and he got a split lip.

A heavy hand clapped down on his shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts. He jumped but the hand didn’t budge; it steered him forward. “Let’s find some nice place out of this damn sun…” the red haired man said calmly. He smelled of alcohol, but he was sober. “We need to have us a little talk… man to man.” He chuckled darkly and pushed Narein into the nearest open door, the garden shed.

Narein stumbled forward, nearly falling. He growled and clutched his broom defensively. He had never been this close to the red haired man before. He was terrifying. He couldn’t imagine how Allen could handle being around him all the time. The man shut the door behind him; Narein was effectively trapped.

“Calm down boy…” he growled briskly. “I just said we’re going to have a little talk… so far, I’ve got no reason to beat the living shit out of you.” That didn’t sound right. Narein’s heart jumped and lodged in his throat. He was in trouble. Heavy boots thumped across the floor and past him. The man pulled an unused garden table and two chairs from the corner of the shed. “Come on. Have a seat.” Cautiously Narein complied and sat across from the man. He stared at the boy making him increasingly uncomfortable. Narein fidgeted under the hard gaze; he felt as if he was a criminal and the man was waiting for him to confess all his wrongs.

They sat in silence until Narein couldn’t stand it any longer. “What do you want?!” he finally snapped. The edges of the man’s lips curved into a quick smile that vanished as soon as it appeared.

“I want…” he smirked unpleasantly. “To know just what on God’s green earth is going on between you and my apprentice…”

Narein could actually feel the color drain from his face. He was in trouble; he snuck a glance to the door. It was blocked. He hadn’t noticed when the man did it, but it was too late now; he was trapped in here with a demon. “Nothing…” he whispered. “There’s nothing going on.” He was met with a glare. “Really!” Narein protested. He wondered if he could make it to the door before the man. It didn’t matter; running now would be like an admission of guilt. Allen must have said something.

The man smiled like broken glass, bright and sharp. He knew everything and now Narein was caught in a lie. That man was going to hurt him. What could Allen have possible told him?

“You’re not very bright…” the man drawled. “Don’t lie to me of all people… I’m the king of bullshit.” He snorted in amusement. “You left marks on him.” he pulled off his wide brimmed hat and ran a hand through his offensively red hair. “Obvious marks… what? Did you think I wouldn’t notice that shit? The little idiot keeps coming in late, usually upset; it wakes me up! I’m behind in my work… work that requires a God damned abstinence program! No wine, no sex, no cigarettes, no sex, no wine until everything is finished! Do you have any idea how difficult that is?! And I have to deal with an upset kid… I’m thinking this is your fault.”

Narein couldn’t speak. He stared at the table and wished the ground would open and swallow him whole. Allen’s that upset? I’ve been making him miserable too?

“Look…” the man said in a tone that tried valiantly to be sympathetic. “I not mad at you… or at Allen about this.” He was clearly furious, but Narein didn’t think it wise to say anything. “I remember what it’s like at your age… and hell, even in my weaker moments I’ve considered the kid as an option…”

“Don’t you dare…” Narein hissed all sense of self preservation flying out the window in the face of his desire to protect his Allen. “Don’t you dare touch him.” if he has… his stomach turned. He would fight him if he had to. No one was going to touch Allen but him.

“Don’t worry…” the man made a distasteful sound. “There isn’t enough alcohol in this country.” He smirked unpleasantly. “You my boy, have got it bad though. I need my stupid apprentice able to help me and until you and he get things settled he’s more useless than usual.” His smirk transformed into something that made Narein’s stomach knot. “So, I’m going to help you out.”

“What?” Narein asked suspiciously. This can’t be a good thing… there is no way I can trust this man. What is he getting at?

Casually, the red haired demon reached into his coat and produced a small white envelope. “I’m going to help you out… this will be good for the both of you.” He tapped the little packet. “I’m sending Allen over to your little shack tonight. Put this in his drink.”

“No!” Narein shouted. “I’m not going to do something like that to Allen! I would never… never do anything to hurt him!”

“This won’t hurt him… it will just help him relax. He probably won’t even remember it in the morning, but the both of you will be much more relaxed and then I can get my work done.”

“I’m not going to do that!” Narein snapped. This man is sick! “I won’t hurt Allen!”

The smile was gone from the man’s face. “I don’t care what you want to do. I want you to wreck that kid. Tomorrow morning I expect you to have to carry him back to my room. I want him unable to move.”

“No!”

“Then we have a problem. I need him too wrecked to move.” He gave an odd sigh. “I suppose I could just do it myself then…”

“You wouldn’t!” Narein was on his feet now. His chair knocked back and landed loudly on the floor.

“Don’t presume to know what I would and wouldn’t do.” The man’s whisper was far more dangerous than any shout could ever be. He pushed the packet across the rough wood of the table. “I’m giving you an opportunity here. Allen will be going to your little shack tonight. You will carry him back to my room in the morning.” He tapped the horrible little packet for emphasis. “It won’t hurt him. Do this or not… your choice. Just bear in mind that if Allen can walk tomorrow, I will make it so he can’t. That would be… unpleasant for all of us I think.” He stood and stretched. “Don’t worry about your dear sister coming home and surprising you; I’ll be watching her dance tonight. I know you’ll do what’s right.” He left Narein alone with his thoughts in the garden shed.

“You’re evil…” he mumbled. That man was a monster. “I won’t do this.” He firmly told himself. I’ll tell Allen though… I’ll tell him just what this awful man wanted me to do and then… then I’ll convince Allen to leave him. We’ll all go to England together. He stared at the little white envelope. He wouldn’t really hurt Allen… would he? He grabbed it and shoved it into his pocket.

The rest of the day Narein applied himself viciously to every physical task he could find. Nothing could take his mind of the question at hand. He wouldn’t really hurt Allen would he? And if he could, could Narein do what the monster asked of him to prevent it? Either way Allen would be hurt; the only difference was whose hands it would be at. Narein wasn’t sure if he could live with that.

Carefully he weighed out the options in his mind. I won’t hurt Allen… I won’t let him be hurt… if I don’t do something, he will be hurt. That monster will hurt him. I can’t let that happen. Maybe… he hated where his train of thought was leading him. Maybe it won’t hurt him if I’m the one doing it… if it’s me, maybe it won’t hurt… I would never hurt him… if he said stop I would. I can’t do this! I promised him I wouldn’t and I can’t go back on that. I’ll tell Allen everything and we’ll lie to the man. I’ll carry Allen back and he can pretend…

That evening Narein was sick to his stomach as he putted about the tiny kitchen on the patio. He was making tea. He wished he was a better cook so he could at least make Allen a nice meal. In his mind’s eye he saw Allen being the domestic one when they reached the safety of England. He could just picture it; he would come home from med school everyday to see Allen’s smiling face, watching the other boy as he cooked and then they would wait together for Miena to return from her dance practice before sitting down for dinner. He frowned; something told him that he wouldn’t be able to pry poor Allen from the horrible influence of the red haired demon. After I tell him everything… then maybe… we can leave as soon as my sister gets back, just the three of us.

Allen arrived just as the water he had set to boil bubbled over. “Just come in!” Narein yelled. “I’m in the kitchen…”

“What are you doing?” Allen asked dryly as he peered around the corner.

“Making a mess of everything…” Narein groaned as he tried to mop up what had spilled.

Allen laughed at him, much of the irritation from earlier gone. “You’re hopeless. Move over I’ll do it.” he moved confidently through the little kitchen and soon both boys were seated with tea and snacks.

“How do you know so much about cooking?” Narein asked in amazement.

Allen smiled. “When I was really little, Mana and I lived above a diner. I used to help out. I get a lot of practice living with master now. He expects me to do a lot.”

Narein sighed and tried to work up his courage to say what he needed to. “I spoke with your master today…” he started blandly.

“Are you ok?!” Allen eeped. “He didn’t hurt you or anything? I swear I didn’t tell him to do anything…”

“No, no… he asked me to do something for him…” he took a deep breath. His heart was pinching painfully. “Something to you… did he tell you why he was sending you over here tonight?”

“Just that I was being a pain in his neck and that I needed to get things straightened out with you so I can get back to my training.” Allen frowned. “Why?”

“He told me to wreck you.”

“Wreck me?” he shifted awkwardly. “What do you mean wreck?”

Narein pulled out the little white envelope from its hiding place in his pocket. “He told me to put this in your drink and… I can’t even say what he wanted me to do then. Allen I would never do anything to hurt you…”

The other boy took it from his hand and opened it, as if checking if the contents were really as bad as they seemed. “No…” Allen shook his head. “You must not of heard right. Master is evil, but he wouldn’t… he wouldn’t do something like that to me.” He smiled and Narein couldn’t believe he could possibly be so trusting of the red haired demon.

“Allen that man is evil!” Narein blurted out. “He told me to wreck you! Said that I’d have to carry you back… he wants you too hurt to even walk!” Allen’s eyes widened. “He said if I didn’t do it then… then he would! I won’t let you get hurt!” Narein squeezed his eyes shut and grabbed Allen’s right hand. “Please…” he whispered, placing a soft kiss on the boy’s fingers. “Please, Allen… this is too much, you deserve better; run away with me. Come with Miena and me to England. You have to get away from that awful man… I’ll be good to you. I won’t let you ever be sad; we can have a life together.”

“Narein…” Allen said his name so softly and gently that his next word was impossibly devastating. “No.” he pulled his hand free carefully. “I have my own path to follow.”

“But…” Narein stammered helplessly. He hadn’t expected Allen to go diving into his arms and offering to help him pack, but he hadn’t expected such a firm no either. He wanted to swoop in and rescue the boy from the monster that held him prisoner. “He’s just using you…”

“No.” Allen smiled again. “I’m using him.” he looked out across the twilight sky, his eyes as pale and unreadable as the clouds. “You think I couldn’t leave any time I wanted? If I didn’t agree to this, I wouldn’t be following that jerk around. I could rob him blind and be gone before he even noticed. I think he knows this too. The path I’m walking is dangerous and I need to be strong. He’s making me stronger. He kicks me, beats me, makes me do all sorts of stupid and dangerous things and just when I think its all too much… just when I think I’ve reached my limit, he’s right there with that stupid grin, pushing me further.” Allen’s hands worked open the paper envelope as he spoke. “I will be strong.” He smiled as he poured the powder into his tea. Narein stared with wide eyes. Allen raised his glass, “Cheers.” He downed it all.

“I can’t believe you just did that…”

“Me neither.” Allen said nervously. “What did my master say about this stuff?”

Narein frowned. “It won’t hurt you… just help you relax. I’m the one who’ll hurt you.”

“I don’t think you will.” Allen assured him. “I know you just must not have understood what master was saying.”

Narein didn’t answer. You weren’t there… you didn’t hear what he said. I should have just thrown that stuff away. Why didn’t I just throw it away… He watched Allen fidget uncomfortably as the medicine started to take affect. His pale skin flushed; his breathing changed. He was obviously fighting it. “Allen?”

“I’m fine.” He said far too quickly. The little figure shifted where he sat. Embarrassed eyes looked up at Narein. “I think I need to lie down.” He gasped and made a sound that made Narein’s blood pool as he helped the boy up and guided him inside. “I’m ok…” he stressed. “My skin feels weird is all.”

Narein hated how the sight of Allen affected him. This wasn’t Allen; this was the medicine and they both knew it. The pale eyes were clouded. Still the creature on his bed was unbelievably beautiful, arching and trembling; making such innocently wrong mewls and sighs. Mumbling about the heat, Allen wriggled his way free from his shirt, before sitting up to pull off his socks and work pants.

Narein was sure he would die; he was grateful his clothing was so baggy. Allen was once again on his bed and clad only in boxers. Only this time he seemed completely willing to be there. It’s the medicine doing this… this is so not fair. Allen noticed him staring and quickly rolled over to hide his face. “Do you want me to leave?” Narein forced himself to ask.

“No… this is kinda scary.” Allen panted softly. “I’m not me… I feel really weird.” He tensed and sat up. “This isn’t me…”

There was fear in his eyes. “I know.” Narein soothed. “So, I’ll follow all the rules you set last time. I’m not going to do anything that I know you don’t want; even if you say you want it. I will not take advantage of you, just because of some stupid medicine.” No matter what the red haired demon wanted me to do… he added silently. “I can stay and I can go. Tell me what you want.”

Allen moved first. It was only the barest brush of lips across his own, chaste and uncertain, but Allen kissed him. “I’m ok… let’s try again.”

Narein was too stunned to speak as Allen pushed him carefully back and tried to copy his actions from the other day. It was horribly awkward, painfully naïve, but it was enthusiastic and Narein was completely enthralled. He would do anything for him. If Allen asked for the world, he would be forced to go and concur it in his name. Even if he lived to a hundred, he was sure he’d never feel as good as he did right now under Allen’s shaking and inexperienced hands. Narein arched up into those feather light touches, trying to maneuver the small hands to where he needed them to be. He sighed out his pleasure at it all and Allen instantly stopped in surprise. “Please…” Narein begged, half surprised how fast he let himself act if this wasn’t artificially produced.

“You actually like that?” Allen’s hazy eyes stared at him with a puzzled expression. He quickly went bight red in embarrassment as he took in the flushed and eager state of the other boy. “I don’t… I don’t understand.” His words ran together.

“It’s because it’s you…” Narein moaned. “Only because it’s you, Allen… only you can make me like this…”

“Me?” Allen asked in a small voice, clearly shocked by how much he had affected him. He pressed his hand over his chest. Narein made a pleading sound; doing everything he could to encourage him. Allen laughed; it wasn’t cruel or mocking, only surprised at the level of control he suddenly had. He grew bolder, his hands more confident, seeing just what kind of reactions he could draw out. Narein tried to hold still, to give him a flat map to explore, but it was so very good. He couldn’t hold back the little shivers that kept racing through him; he was honest when he said only Allen could do this.

“Only you Allen!” his cry turned into an unhappy groan when the boy pulled away again. “Why?”

“I… don’t get it.” Allen’s brow knit with concern. “How…”

“It’s because I like you!” Narein sat up and carefully brought his breathing under control. It struck him that there was still so much the boy didn’t understand, having never been a willing participant in such activities. He wasn’t going to let himself get carried away. Reaching over to touch Allen’s cheek, he smiled. “You’re still scared by all this huh? You can’t be scared of me… you see how weak you make me? I can’t hurt you.” Allen stared past him again. “Or… is it you’re afraid you’ll enjoy it?”

The boy shot him a withering glare and he smiled harder. Got you… figured you out! “You were enjoying it… I’m happy, it isn’t a bad thing that you liked it.” he wondered just how much control he could give up to the boy. “One more try…” he purred and touched his forehead to Allen’s; there was a long pause, but Allen nodded and accepted the challenge. “Just do like I do… we can always stop, anytime you want to.”

He pushed Allen’s back against the wall, one hand lacing their fingers together the other running through the baby soft hair at the nape of his neck. “Don’t worry…” Narein whispered against pale lips. “Just do what I do.” He waited until he felt Allen move his free hand. It fluttered on his shoulder before carding into his hair. Narein smiled happily and finally claimed his willing mouth.

This was real; this was happening. Even if it was only the medicine, Allen was responding to him; he was going to go slow, make him see just how treasured he really was. Narein whispered a thousand little prayers of gratitude to every god he could think of, even if all their divine names turned to ‘Allen’ on his lips.

He was thrilled to see how seriously Allen had taken his instruction. The boy was almost too intent on copying his actions to realize just what he was doing. When Narein broke one of the rules he had set, he didn’t seem to notice. The first time Narein pushed his tongue past those soft lips, Allen’s met it. It was a shy, hesitant gesture, but so very good. Narein groaned into the kiss, his free hand sliding down to Allen’s chest. The fingers buried in his hair tightened briefly before mimicking the movement south.

At some point, Allen abandoned the copy challenge and lay back exposed and enticingly vulnerable. He certainly seemed to enjoy Narein’s attention; his body was interested, but he wasn’t going to go any further than this for now. As badly as he wanted to pull back the fabric of the boy’s boxers and help him along; Allen wasn’t ready for anything more. Even if he seemed like he wanted to go further, Narein would be responsible and stop things. He was scared that touching anything beyond that remaining fabric barrier would make Allen regret it later. He would go slowly. They had all the time in the world for all he cared.

His own body was aching terribly by now. Narein carefully controlled just how much of his body ever came in contact with Allen’s. As desperately as he needed friction he would not let the other know the state he was in. Allen was in a state where he might act upon it and he would never forgive himself later.

The back of Allen’s deep red hand stayed over his mouth to keep any stray noise from escaping while his right fluttered between clutching Narein’s skin and the bed sheets. He whimpered as Narein continued his gentle abuse on the soft skin at the juncture of neck and shoulder. Allen may never be this willing again and he wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to mark him. The boy was moving constantly, as if he was trying to work free of his own skin, unsure of what to do. Soft little noises spilled urgently past the barrier of his hand.

“Hey…” Narein pulled away to admire the red welt he worked so hard on. “You don’t have to hold back. I like your voice…” when Allen didn’t respond he tugged his hand away. Allen cried out. A single string of saliva clung to the cross etched in his skin. Narein raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“AH!” Allen fiercely tried to pull his hand away. “Don’t look!”

“My, my… what were you doing there, Allen?” Narein grinned. He had the feeling that he had just caught something taboo happening.

“Nothing!” Allen snapped. “Let me up! I’m done with this stuff!”

“Not yet… I want to see.” He held up the offending hand and examined it closely. Something wedged in the center of the wound glinted in the dim light of the room. Curiosity made him ghost his fingertip over the edge of the scar, carefully tracing the odd shape.

“Don’t touch that!” Allen cried hoarsely. He was sitting bold upright now, head thrown back and utterly beautiful.

“But you were…” you were using your mouth on this…

“That’s different!” he tried again to pull away. “Stop it! I don’t go around touching parts of you!”

“I’d like it if you did…” he raised Allen’s hand to his lips. “Does this feel good? Is it really that sensitive here?” he wondered aloud and gently blew on the damp skin.

Allen answered with an inarticulate sound and a wildly arched back. That was all the encouragement Narein needed before launching a slow teasing assault on the newly discovered hot spot. The boy rolled back onto the bed, curling in on himself. Soon the only thing Narein was touching was his hand. He held it close to his body, lavishing the deep scar with attention.

“Please…” Allen gasped. “Please stop it, Narein! Something’s gonna happen if you don’t stop…”

“That’s fine…” Narein kissed his knuckles and teasingly tried to avoid touching the scar. “Let it.” Allen made the most beautiful sounds. He had a pretty good idea of what would happen. Narein was amazed; honored that he could do something like this for him. Without even touching him… He traced the scar with his tongue again. Allen’s skin was delicious in a way he never thought possible; the disfigured flesh begged for his exploration. Allen squirmed and moaned at the sensation.

“Narein!” he cried suddenly. Whether it was a plea to stop or to continue he never had the chance to find out. Narein ventured boldly and pushed his tongue into the scar. Allen shrieked as he kissed the center.

Allen unexpectedly came undone. The pale body arched, tensing with a sweet rapturous cry before turning into a sated, boneless puddle. It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Narein worked to commit the scene to memory for later replay. “Wow…” he whispered before he could stop himself. “You’re so incredibly beautiful.”

“Shit…” Allen panted. “Ah God… shit…” he was mortified beyond belief.

“No worries…” Narein soothed, carefully setting his hand down and kissing his sweaty brow. “Stay here…” he moved to the side of the bed and made to get up. No wonder he doesn’t ever want to hold hands… wow.

“Where are you going?” Allen mumbled sleepily, his fingers spastically twitching.

“Get something to clean up…” Narein smiled at him. “Don’t move ok.”

“Don’t need to.” Allen said quickly.

“As much as I love you…” Narein sat back down and ran a hand over his shoulder and into his damp hair. “I’m not gonna have you lying around all dirty in my bed.”

“That’s… that’s not an issue.” Allen quickly tried to bury his red face in the pillow. His words were still slurred by the medicine, but his mind seemed much clearer.

“Allen, its no big deal…” he chuckled, still too amazed by Allen’s reaction to an old wound. He was oddly proud of himself. “It’s not like its totally unexpected… nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Narein…” his voice was stressed. “I just… I don’t need.” He growled in frustration. “There’s nothing ok!”

“But...” Narein blinked in confusion. “But you… I mean that, um you… you finished… you did right?”

“Yes!” he snapped. “But I don’t… I just don’t! So, drop it ok…” That wasn’t normal at his age; Narein frowned. “Look.” Allen sat up embarrassed and angry. “I know what’s normal… what’s supposed to happen and I just don’t… or I can’t.” he plopped back down on the bed and covered his face with his hands. “I don’t know which. Its just one more thing wrong with me.”

Narein made a mental note to never bring it up again. “Maybe your just a late bloomer.” It was a good suggestion, but as Narein touched his hot skin he suspected something more serious. He wouldn’t say it, but he wondered if the boy was sterile.

“Narein… let me go.” Allen mumbled. “My skin hurts… so let go.” Allen curled up into a little ball. “I wanna go back to Master’s room.”

“I kinda thought you were going to stay here for the night.” Narein paused. Allen looked upset. He knew the boy was embarrassed, but this? He reached out to touch the junction of wine red skin and Allen flinched.

“You didn’t listen…” hurt grey eyes bored into his. “I said stop… Narein I told you to stop, but you didn’t. You even said you would stop anytime I asked you to… but when I did you kept going!”

“I…” Narein frowned hard as he tried to remember just when Allen had supposedly told him no.

“My hand.” Allen choked on the words. “That wasn’t yours to touch! It hurt!” he flushed bright red. “It hurt so much… that I started to like it. I didn’t want that and you did it anyway.”

“Allen… I’m so sorry. I didn’t hear you say stop, not like you meant it.”

“That doesn’t matter! If I didn’t sound like I meant it, does that mean you can just keep going?!”

His eyes widened with realization. He had heard the boy and he had kept going. I’ve messed everything up again. I didn’t believe he wanted me to stop... it was the medicine making him act like that and I even told him I wouldn’t let that be a factor… “I’m sorry…” Narein repeated till the words felt hollow. He had the sinking feeling that this time he had gone too far; he had damaged something impossible to repair.

“Take me home.” Allen softly replied. Narein glared at him, frustrated. “I need help to go… I can’t really move.” He gave a bitter laugh. “See… no matter what we did, you’d still have to carry me back.”

Narein helped him pull his shirt and pants back on and carried him on his back across the palace grounds. Allen wouldn’t let himself be carried bridal style. “I’m not a girl!” he shouted.

At the door to the room he shared with the red haired demon, Narein tried talking once more. If I can just convince him that I really do love him… then he’ll understand. Even to himself he sounded desperate. He set Allen carefully against the door and looked in his eyes. “I love you, please don’t be angry…”

“Stop.” Allen’s voice was gentle but strong. “I’m sorry. I can’t keep doing this… I don’t love you. Not like that. I do care for you and I let you do all this stuff to me, yes to me not with me, because I thought that was what I needed to do to keep your friendship. You’re my friend… and as your friend I can see just how much this is killing you. This has to stop. It’s bad for you.”

“Allen please!” he could feel it; Allen was going to break his heart here and now. He had no argument to give, no more to defend his feelings with. His world was ending and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“I’ll miss you. Please stay away from me.”