Author: MariSunny PM
I still don’t know how it began, I even less sure about how it’s going to end. And I still have to tell him that, whether he likes it or not, from now on I won’t be drinking wine or any other alcohol for quite a while. Chapter 2!Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Drama - Harris - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,005 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 07-01-08 - Published: 06-17-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4329907
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I don't own anything about this show. My original character, however, belongs to me.
Summary: I still don't know how it began, I even less sure about how it's going to end. And I still have to tell him that, whether he likes it or not, from now on I won't be drinking wine or any other alcohol for quite a while.
A/N: I SO love you, guys! I got more reviews for this story than I ever dreamed of! To tell you the truth, I planned this as a one-shot, but you guys really inspired me to write more!
I was sitting in a small café at Genesis, slowly sipping my hot tea. My mind in the meantime was very far away.
It was already very late, and I knew I should have gone home a long time ago. But I couldn't bring myself to go there. I was scared. It's been like this for a while now. I left our apartment early in the morning and didn't come back until late at night. Sometimes, when he was away, I stayed at my friend's house. I was afraid… I was afraid to stay alone. Every time I realized there were no people around me, no one to help, no one to be a witness, I started to panic. I was very scared, but not for myself… No.
For the child. My child. Our child.
It was around a month now, since I found out I was pregnant. I still remembered very clearly Harris's reaction when I told him. He was shocked. It was written all over his face. He couldn't stop staring at me, wide-eyed, for several minutes. Then he just excused himself and left. Just like that.
I remember feeling so empty and miserable, once I heard the entrance door shut... I wanted to scream in pain and frustration, but all that came were silent tears and sudden fatigue. I just sat there for what seemed like hours, dinner cold and forgotten. Then I just stood up and went upstairs. I took a quick shower and went to bed. Turning the lights off, I realized that I was cold. I was so cold and lonely, without anyone there beside me… Without him beside me.
I hugged myself tightly, burying my face into pillow, trying to shut down the sounds, as uncontrollable weeps finally escaped me… I was shacking all over… Oh, God, help me, I thought…
I never knew when I finally cried myself to sleep or when Harris came back… Or whether he came back at all.
He must have: the following morning when I went down to breakfast I saw him at the table, at his usual place. Only he wasn't reading his morning newspaper like he always did. He briefly glanced at me, as I came down and quickly averted his eyes. But even in that very short moment I realized what was going on: fear was what I read in his eyes.
We didn't talk much over breakfast. Just some basic stuff. I didn't ask him where he had gone to the previous night, and he never touched upon the issue of my pregnancy. Then he left to work.
And that's how it's been ever since: he left early and came back late at night and never talked much. I practically stopped seeing him. No matter how late I came home, I always found him gone, he always came later. I wondered at one point if maybe it was because of Bleylock and his orders, but I quickly dismissed that idea: working for Bleylock did take a lot of time usually, but not that much.
And so I became scared. I became lonely and I felt like I was a living and breathing burden to him. This loneliness and unspoken rejection drove me insane, they brought closer and closer to the edge of the deepest pit of hell. The only thing that still kept me going and did not allow me to sink deeper into depression was the child inside me. I knew I had to stay strong and alive, if not for myself, then for the child.
So here I was, sitting in a small shabby café, wrapped up in a jacket and scarf, as if I was afraid someone would recognize me. I still haven't told anyone (except for Harris) about the child. Especially not Bleylock. And I was frightened that in time concealing my secret would become impossible. Then Bleylock would know. I didn't care for the rest, but him… He would pose a problem: once he'll know I was having a child, it would take him no time to figure out who the father was… And then he would use me to blackmail Harris, to force him to do whatever Bleylock needs, and Harris wouldn't be able to resist or betray Bleylock: if so, his child (and me) would die.
I found myself in a lose-lose situation.
As I finished my tea, I glanced at the watch. Almost 1 a.m.
'You should be getting home…'
'But I don't want to… I'll be alone there. At least it's not so obvious in here…'
'You have to get going… It's not safe at this hour…'
'I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself.'
'No, you can't. Not with the child.'
I finally stood up, threw some money on the table and headed home…
…Where nobody was waiting for me. As usual.
I had a shower, changed, and went to bed, the usual routine. As I turned off the lights, I started to think things over, everything good or bad that happened to me…
Sleep was slowly taking me over, when suddenly I heard the door to the bedroom slowly opening slightly.
My eyes flew open in surprise, all traces of sleep gone. I knew it was Harris. I could not explain it, but I always knew when it was him…
I heard him close the door very quietly, trying not to wake me up, and then move to the bathroom.
Soon afterwards, he re-entered the room. I silently wondered if he was okay… Then I felt the bed beside me go down a little from his weight. So he was back. But he didn't even touch me, not once, as if I wasn't even there… I missed his warmth, his everything… It hurt, it hurt so much…
I felt tears build up in my eyes. I bit my lip to keep the weeps from coming out.
It was very long before I finally managed to fall asleep. When I woke up, I felt tired and even more worn out than when I went to bed. As I looked beside me, I realized he had already left.
The day went by as usual. Nothing out of order. Except for the fact that I headed home earlier today, having felt a little dizzy.
As I got to the apartment, it got worse. My head began to spin, my vision becoming blurry. I was hardly realizing what I was doing, but somehow I managed to stagger myself into the living room.
I held on to the marble counter, trying to balance myself and clear the vision. I needed to get over to the phone and call a doctor. The phone and the doctor's number was on a small table on the other side of the room… Not very far away… I could get there, if I just went carefully along the wall… Yes, that was it, I was going to make it.
I slowly started to move around the counter, still holding to it, in the direction of the wall. After a few shaky steps I finally made it to the wall, still gripping the counter. Now I had to switch my weight from the counter to the wall, to use the later as the support.
After a few moments of summoning my courage, I finally let go of the counter.
For several seconds I stood there, my vision clear once again and no sign of dizziness. Then, I felt as if someone pierced me with a white-hot sword: the pain was sudden and strong. A new wave of sickness rolled over me, my knees gave out and I collapsed.
My whole world was spinning, I couldn't see anything. I suddenly had a feeling as if I was drowning: there were sounds in my head, many different sounds, muffled and distant. I didn't know what was happening, the only thing that I felt clearly was the hot searing pain in my abdomen. I tried to call for help, but I couldn't hear my own voice, I wasn't even sure if I was speaking.
"Harris… Help me…"
I was falling into unconsciousness. No matter how much I tried to stay awake, I was failing miserably. Finally, I gave up struggling. For a moment there I thought I heard some loud noises and someone calling my name, but before I could even try to realize what was going on, I slipped into darkness…
Bright… It's so bright…
I slowly opened my eyes only to shut them again because of all the bright light surrounding me. My eyelids felt very heavy, but I still tried again. I blinked a few times allowing my eyes to adjust for the light. Then I looked around.
I was lying on a hospital bed, various medical equipment surrounding me. The room was all white and really bright. And I was alone. I sat up on my bed, slightly adjusting the pillows. How did I get here?
As if to answer my question, the door to the room suddenly opened. I looked at the man who had just entered and was surprised to see it was Harris.
I stared at him blankly, not believing my own eyes. Was that really Harris?... Maybe I was seeing things?...
He looked tired and worn out, incredibly worried and sad. Moments before he realized I was awake, I even saw despair and guilt in his eyes. But as soon as he saw me, his eyes widened a fraction, and he almost dashed towards me, enveloping me in his arms.
At first, I was taken aback by his sudden reaction. But then suddenly I realized what was happening… My arms tightened around him, as suddenly all the misery and pain I felt for the past three weeks began to disappear.
He then distanced himself, still holding my shoulders, and looked at me.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm feeling better now, thank you," I answered, trying to force out a smile, but I felt my eyes fill with tears, and it became hard to speak.
"What is it?" His voice sounded so worried, it was so unlike him…
I took in a deep breath, my eyes closed, trying to calm down.
"Can I have I glass of water?" I asked. Seconds later the glass was gently pushed into my hands. I made a few gulps of cold water, and it calmed me down a bit.
"Thanks," I said, placing the glass on a small table beside the bed. I leaned back against the pillows, as Harris sat on the bed beside me. "What did doctor say? Will I be alright?"
"Yes, you will be," he answered, "They said it was nothing serious… But, according to them, it was caused by a serious emotional stress."
I could say he wasn't saying everything. There was definitely something he wasn't asking. But I knew what it was.
"I'm sorry," I began. He looked at me, surprised, but I continued: "I'm sorry, it's my fault, but I just couldn't cope with… All of this…"
There was a long pause, during which Harris studied me carefully.
"Madison…" he finally said, his voice cracking, "I… I'm so sorry… I just… I couldn't… I didn't know what to do. I still don't."
"Harris, please tell me something," I needed to know this, and I needed to know this now, "Is… Is this child a burden to you? Am I a burden to you?"
His eyes went wide for a split second.
"N-No, Madi, no! I-I can't even tell you how happy I am! I… This child… You-… You gave me something I never thought I'd have - a family… You are the most important person in my life now, Madi, I-… I love you!"
I suddenly felt like the whole world stopped.
'Maybe I never woke up?... Or maybe this isn't Harris?'
We looked at each other for a long time. The realization of what he just said was slowly sinking into us both, for I was sure the confession just slipped out. Finally, I smiled.
"Harris… If this is you… If this is really you, I want you to know… That I love you too," I said quietly.
And that was all it took: acceptance. We accepted each other and our future. But I knew that this future would be far from carefree. And the further we went the more complicated it got. And there was no turning back.
A/N: Well, here it is. It's a little different in style from the previous one, but never the less… Alright, I'd love to hear what you think! Cheers!