Xiaolin Show-off 2:

Rise of Jingle Jangle Jong

It was quiet, dark, eerie. All around the city dark sky scrapers loomed under the starless night sky. There wasn’t a single car in the streets, no light in the windows, no sign of life at all. Only the vast, lifeless city. All was still, as if time had stopped, until one single moment near the top of the tallest sky scraper. Out of nowhere a single window on the top floor broke out, shards of glass flying everywhere, and a single girl with jet-black hair and wearing a tight black leather jumpsuit and sunglasses jumped out as the glass fell away. Not long after her a man jumped out after her, him with short brown hair and wearing a business suit and sunglasses. As the man jumped out after her the girl whipped out two hand guns, flipped over in mid air and started shooting at him. The man simply grinned as the bullets went flying passed him and he also pulled out a hand gun. He took a single shot and nailed her in the center of her forehead.

She crashed into the asphalt below, not believing that she’d been hit. “What the hell… why didn’t the slomo thing kick in?” Kim asked herself as she sat up, feeling her forehead for the wound. “I thought this was… supposed to… be the… matrix…” she paused as she saw something strange near her. She staggered to her feet and limped over to it, picking it up and examining it closely. “Is this a hotdog?” She took a bite. “Mm! Bratwurst!”

Elsewhere, deep inside of a cave somewhere in South America, a man wearing a leather jacket and a cowboy hat walked slowly up to an altar with a golden statue sitting on it. He eyed the statue carefully. He’d expected it to be of an ancient Mayan god or something… but a chicken leg was fine in his book, so long as the gold was real. He stepped up to the altar and pulled a bag of dirt out of his jacket pocket. Estimating the weight of both the statue and the bag. Then, in one swift motion he took the statue from its place and replaced it with the bag. Pleased with himself, he stuffed the chicken leg statue in his pocket and began walking away… only to suddenly hear the altar sink into the ground. Not wasting any time to figure out what would happen he took off, making it half way out of the cave before anything really happened. He came to a sudden halt as he heard rocks scraping together behind him.

“What’ve ya gotten yerself into this time, Clay?” Clay asked himself as the ramp lowered itself down, revealing a dark cavern behind it. He waited there for a few seconds until his eyes bulged out of his skull when he saw what he’d thought would’ve been a giant bolder. “Oh… my… god… Giant Michel Jackson head!” Clay took off running again, trying desperately to outrun the hideous thing rolling after him. Finally he jumped out of the caves exit with the giant Michel Jackson head coming to a thundering halt as it was caught in the small hole in the mountain. “What gives…” Clay growled. “I wanted Raiders of the Lost Ark, not Raiders of the Last Fart Joke.” Ironically, he farted right then and there.

Elsewhere still, long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, a boy glared at the dark figure before him as he awaited death. He had been pushed down and was not sitting against a steel pillar, open air on either side of him as he was on an unnecessarily long and thin balcony on the inside of the death star, and before him was the tall, dark figure of Darth Vadar. “No, Raimundo,” Vadar said through his breathing machine, “I did not kill you’re friend Omi…” he reached for his helmet with both hands and lifted it, revealing the huge, round, yellow face of the Chinese midget boy, Omi. “I am your friend Omi.”

“No!” Raimundo shouted. “That’s not true! That’s impossible!”

“Search you’re feelings… you know this to be true.”

“No, seriously, it’s impossible.” Rai said as he stood up and walked over to the wider part of the balcony. “Omi’s not even in this simulation.”

“Hmm, you have a point.” Omi agreed. “What am I doing here? I thought I chose the Pirates of the Caribbean simulation.”

“No offence, Omi, but you make a really crappy Jack Sparrow.” Rai pointed out.

“Oh! For the love of Grand Master Dumbshit.” Omi complained. “End the simulations, please!”

The surroundings suddenly faded away into a single, large with steel walls a single door, and one window up near the ceiling. As the room faded away, Clay and Kimiko reappeared and everyone’s clothes reverted to their usual attire instead of what they’d been wearing in the simulations. “Guys, I think the danger room is on the frits again.” Omi complained.

“Again?” Kim asked, annoyed.

“When did we get a danger room, anyway?” Clay asked.

“It’s just an X-men joke, Clay.” Rai explained. “It won’t have any real impact on the story at all.”

And just as suddenly as it had stopped blue electricity suddenly surged through the walls and more scenery appeared around them. This time all four of them ended up on Alcatraz Island with hundreds of super powered people fighting all around them. Their clothes also changed again. Rai and Clay ended up wearing black jumpsuits with Xs over their chests and Rai with three claws on his knuckles on both hands and Clay ended up with silver skin. Omi ended up with the same clothes only he wore a black vest and shorts instead of a full body jumpsuit. Also, his skin had turned blue and he was suddenly covered in thick blue fur. “Oh! Why did I have to be the Beast?”

“Kick ass, I’m wolverine!” Rai said excitedly. “And congrats on finally admitting you have a furry fetish, Omi.” He laughed.

“I do not!” Omi shouted, his head growing twice its already huge size. “And you’re lucky that you have that healing factor or I’d rip your throat out right here and now.”

“Omi did get the worst of it,” Clay pointed out. “I’m colossus, so I have titanium skin. You’re wolverine so you can heal and you have those bad ass claws. Omi’s blue and furry, what’s he got to be excited about?”

“He gets to stab magneto with the mutant cure.” Rai pointed out.

“Oh yeah…” Omi began, but then he realized something, as did Rai. “Hey, when did you start saying something other than Yeeha?” they both asked.

“I got rid of that tourettes problem months ago.” Clay pointed out.

“That was tourettes?” Rai and Omi asked, flabbergasted.

“Yeah… wait a second.” Clay paused and took a quick glance around. “Where’s Kimiko?”

Suddenly all of the buildings and people around them went up in dust, leaving only them, the rock of an island, and a few other people standing. “oh crap.” They all said as they turned around to find kimiko floating just above the ground about a hundred yards away. She was wearing a plain red dress and her hair was down, flailing around violently, and her eyes had turned pitch black.

“Let’s get out of here!” Rai shouted. “Abort, abort!” The door from the danger room suddenly appeared before them and Clay threw it open and ran out, followed by Rai and Omi who didn’t bother looking back. Omi slammed the door behind him and flipped the lock, just to be sure.

“That was the scariest experience of my life.” Omi gasped. Both Rai and Clay agreed.

“Yo, yo, yo, howz it bitchen my students?” Rap Master Fung walked into the hallway. He was still the crazy old man who watched MTV and listened to wrap music that he’d always been. They still considered him a teacher, but a cool (and lazy) as he was he was really more of a bud than a mentor. “There a reason you locked Kim in there?”

Rai rushed up to the old man, grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pinned him against the wall. “Listen, you old goat, no one gets in or out of this room fort the next ninety-six hours, got that?”

“Why?” Rap Master Fung asked.

“Two words: Menstrual, cycle.”

And just like that Rap master Fung had boarded up the door to the danger room, put chains over the boards, put a brick wall over the chains, and welded a slab of steel over the brick wall. “No one gets in or out of here for the next four days.” He said. But just as he finished speaking, there was a loud roar from inside the danger room and the sound of claws scraping against the door. “But just in case… load the guns and find a place to hide.”

FOUR DAYS LATER

“You guys couldn’t have at least given me food?” Kim demanded

“We were afraid you would try to eat out arms off.” Rap Master Fung said.

As the four of them conversed about eh passed four days no one noticed that Dojo had slithered into the room with a frying pan in one hand and a Louisville slugger in the other. Out of nowhere the little green dragon jumped into the air and whacked them all on the head with one or the other. “Are you all pleased with yourselves?’ Dojo demanded. “While you four were cowering with your tails between your legs because of her we lost five Shen Gong Wu! FIVE!” He then proceeded to whack each of them over the head a few more times, leaving bumps upon bruises and more. Omi was the only one who seemed unaffected, probably because of his enormous noggin.

“All right, all right! We get it!” Rai shouted as he grabbed Dojo by the throat and started choking him.

“So which ones did we lose?” Omi asked.

Dojo pulled the scroll out from off screen and unrolled it to check. “Let’s see here… we lost the Fist of Tubby-Gut, which can give you one mean punch.” He took his Louisville slugger and his Rap Master Fung overt the head again. “The Jetboots-in-ass, which allow you to defy gravity.” He then whacked Clay of the head with his frying pan. “Then there was the Helmet of Tom, so you can see through solid objects.” he smacked Rai over the head with both. “After that was the Glove of Get-The-F-Over-Here, which is basically a magnet for whatever you want.” He hit Kim in the head with the Frying Pan again. “And finally we lost the Greased Up Def Guy, I’m not sure that that does, about six hours ago.” He then too the Louisville Slugger and hit Omi in his shins.

“Greased Up Def Guy?” Clay asked.

Out of nowhere a strange man wearing nothing but his underwear and covered in oil came running through the room. “You’re never gunna catch me.” he said in a high pitched voice. After he rounded the corner and disappeared Peter Griffon came running after him.

“Damn you, I want my vacation!” Peter shouted as he rounded the same corner.

“That was odd.” Clay said. Everyone agreed.

Just as suddenly as those two had disappeared Dojo started twitching lick a maniac. “We got a new one!” he announced. “Let’s see if you four can redeem yourselves.”

“What’s cookin’ this time, bizach?” rap Master Fung asked as Dojo opened the scroll.

“It’s called the Bong of Jong.”

“A bong?” Rai asked. “I’m in!”

RANDOM FOREST

Jack, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Show-off!” Clay said as he and Jack wrestled over the sapphire bong they’d just found.

“Fine.” Jack agreed. “But I challenge you to a double Xiaolin Show-off! You and one of your friends against me and my new partner…” everything suddenly went Black and Jack grabbed a microphone from off screen. (Drumroll). “Aging Cat Lady!” a spot light came down from nowhere to reveal and old lady sitting in a rocking chair with at least ten cats crawling all over her.”

“Hi! I’m Katnappe.” The old lady said.

“Are you crazy, Jack?” Wuya demanded. “You’ll lose for sure!”

Clay starred at him in confusion and trying not to laugh. “Um… ok. Kimiko and I accept your challenge.”

“Why me?’ Kim asked.

“I’m hoping you still have some rage left over.”

“Oh… plenty.” Kim growled, rolling up her sleeves and cracking her knuckles.

“All right. My Helmet of Tom and Glove of Get-The-F-Over-Here against your Two Ton T-shirt and Middle Finger Flip coin.” Jack said. “The game is paintball. First team to lose both players loses.”

“Let’s go, Xiaolin Show-off!”

POOF!! It a puff of smoke the forest around everyone… looked exactly the same. However, Jack, Clay, Kim and the aging cat lady named Katnappe were now all wearing the proper gear and all held paintball guns. Omi, Rai, Dojo, and Wuya all sat in a nearby tree. And for some reason Harrison Ford was once again hanging upside down from a tree. “Oh, come on! You’ve already done an Indiana Jones joke this time!” Harrison complained, again going unnoticed.

“Gong Yi Tan-“ all four competitors began before Jack broke in.

“I’m sorry, but could we just say go or something. I find it really unnecessary to say something I don’t know the meaning of just to begin this stupid challenge.”

Clay shrugged. “Fine. Go.” And just like that he pulled the trigger on his gun and shot Katnappe.

“Well, I turned out to be a shot lived character.” Katnappe said as she and all of her cats crumbled into a pile of dust.”

“Is that going to happen to all of us?” Kim asked.

“Nah. She just belonged in a museum.” Clay said. “Now let’s get Jack before he runs away.”

Too late. Jack had already disappeared into the labyrinth of trees, now nowhere to be seen. “Way to go, Clay. You lost him!” Rai shouted from the tree. Clay and Kim didn’t even bother turning around as they both aimed their guns behind them and shot Rai out of the tree.

“Shut up!” they both shouted.

And so the search began. Clay and Kim searched high and low and tried every trick in the book to lure Jack out into the open. Kim searched thought the trees with the Middle Finger Flip Coin while Clay tried knocking him out of trees by tackling them while wearing the Two Ton T-shirt. They tried calling him out with promises of bacon and beer. Clay even suggested using Kim as bait “If you catch my drift.” Well, Kim caught the drift all right and threatened (not to mention tried) to rip his testicles off. Long story short, they had no luck at all until about an hour and a half later.

Kim and Clay had finally decided to split up after Clay’s last plan. Kim now walked slowly through a small trail in between the trees. “Now, If I were a psychopathic engineering prodigy of a mamma’s boy where would I be?” she asked herself.

“I am not a mamma’s boy!” Jack shouted as he popped up from the bushes near by.

“Got ya!” Kim swung around and started shooting like Crazy, nailing Jack multiple times though not knocking him to the ground. Eventually Kim ran out of ammo and Jack was still standing. “What the?” she walked up to what she thought was Jack only to realize that it was a piñata decoy.

“Wow, the decoy trick actually worked twice in the same series.” The real Jack said as he jumped down from the trees and shot Kim in the back. Unlike Katnappe, Kim vanished in a puff of smoke and joined Rai, Omi, Dojo, and Wuya in the audience tree. Both Rai and Omi started laughing instantly, neither noticing the demonic look on Kim’s face. Wuya started laughing also, but being the enemy Kim thought nothing of it. Despite having no ammo left, Kim pointed her paintball gun at Omi and pulled the trigger only to discover that she had one shot left and knock Omi out of the tree. She tried the same with Rai, but this time she really was out of shots.

“Ha! What now?” Rai asked smugly. He quickly regretted this when Kim’s right eye started twitching and she started cracking her knuckles.

“You know, down there I threatened to rip Clay’s pride off, but I wont hesitate to castrate you.”

To avoid the following moments of horror let’s switch back to Clay who was still searching for Jack Spicer. Clay had ran straight for where her heard Kim and Jack only minutes earlier only to find Jack had vanished back into the trees or bushes. “Where are you…” the Texan breathed as he slowly made his way deeper into the forest. He hadn’t gone far, however, when he heard a soft click directly behind him followed by a sinister snicker.

“Any last words, cowboy?”

Clay simply grinned and turned around slowly. “Go ahead and shoot, Jack. I’ve had an entire pitcher of beer and at least five shots. I’m bullet proof.”

Jack just shrugged. “Ok.” And he pulled the trigger, the paintball hitting Clay directly in the chest at point blank range.

“Damn, that’s the first time country music’s lied to me.” Clay said before… POOF!! All of the paintball equipment vanished, Rai, Omi, Kim, Dojo and Wuya reappeared next to Clay and Jack, and Jack was now holding all five Shen Gong Wu that had been bet.

Jack grinned and did his evil laugh, “MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!” before activating his helicopter backpack thingy and starting to fly away, shouting back to them, “Who’s the bitch, now?” as he disappeared into the dusk sky.

“Shut up, that’s my title.” Wuya added before they were out of sight completely.

JACKS PLACE

“Ok, so what’s the plan you’ve got, ya old hag?” Jack asked as he dumped all of his Shen Gong Wu on the table.

“Ok, first put the Two Ton T-shirt here.” The transparent purple ghost said, pointing to the center of the table. She then went on direct exactly where Jack was to place the rest of them, the Fist of Tubby-Gut to the right, the Glove of Get-The-F-Over-Here to the left, the Jetboots-in-ass at the foot of the table, and the Helmet of Tom at the head of the table.

“What about the Middle Finger Flip Coin and the Greased Up Def Guy?” Jack asked.

Suddenly the door to Jacks basement swung open and a strange man in nothing but his underwear and completely covered in oil can running in. “You’re still never gunna catch me!” he said in his high pitched voice as he climbed out of the small window leading outside.

After he’d slipped his way through the window Peter Griffon came running in after him. “Damn it, slow down!” he shouted as he tried to get through the tiny window as well only to get stuck because… well, let’s face it he’s as fat as a rhino. “Um, could one of you two help me out of here.”

Jack and Wuya just ignored the fat man in the wall and went on with their plans. “Now, use the Bong of Jong! Bring to life the most feared evil ever to walk this planet; Jingle Jangle Jong!”

Jack started making a weird face as he heard the name, trying not to laugh. Wuya gave him a glare. “What? Jingle Jangle Jong, that’s sounds like something off a toddlers TV show, not the most feared name in history.” Wuya just continued glaring at him. “Oh, all right. Bong of Jong!” Jack took a big puff of smoke from the sapphire bong, letting out a sigh as he exhaled. The smoke that came out of his mouth and nostrils floated over to the five Shen Gong Wu lying on the table and completely engulfed them. With a thundering roar the smoke turned into blue fire and sank inside of the Shen Gong Wu, forming the arms and legs and bringing them to life. The Helmet of Tom, The Two Ton T-shirt, the Fist of Tubby-Gut, the Glove of Get-The-F-Over-Here, and the Jetboots-in-ass, had merged to become Jingle Jangle Jong.

“Now, let’s take care of those annoying monks once and for all.” Wuya snickered, leading into a sinister laugh as Jack dimmed the lights in the basement until everything was pitch black. “Good work Jack, that fade really worked for dramatic effect.”

THE TEMPLE

“YOU LOST IT, YO?!” Rap Master Fung shouted in disbelief, his jaw falling to the ground afterwards.

“What’s the big deal?” Rai asked. “Jack’s an idiot, we can get those Wu back.”

“Raimundo, you have to understand. Rap Master Fung is old, he’s probably starting to go senile already… or maybe it’s Alzheimer’s.” Omi pointed out.

“Here it comes.” Dojo mumbled, putting ear plugs in his ears.

“I SHOULD POP A CAP IN ALL YO ASSES!!” Rap Master Fung shouted. “YOU GAVE WUYA EVERYTHING SHE NEEDS TO BRING BACK THE BIGGEST BADASS THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN!!”

“Al Capone?” Kim asked.

“No, not Al Capone.” Clay argued. “He means Hulk Hogan is going to start wrestling again.”

“You’re just making it worse on yourselves.” Dojo said as he welded a steel box together, leaving the bottom so he could slip underneath so he could avoid the oncoming atom bomb of a yelling.

“I seriously don’t see the big deal.” All four of the young monks said in unison.

“I suggest you take cover while you still can.” Dojo said from inside his shelter.

“YOU DON’T SEE THE BIG DEAL?!” Rap Master Fung shouted so loud that he actually knocked Kim and Rai off their feet, sent Omi flying twenty feet back. Clay however, thanks to his weight, managed to keep his footing but his clothes did get ripped in a few places. Just as Par Master Fung had finished yelling the Fist of Tubby-Gut crashed through the wall behind him, causing it to crumble and reveal Jingle Jangle Jong, Jack Spicer, and Wuya behind it. Rap Master Fung turned around and looked at the three blankly as Jack and Wuya laughed and Jingle Jangle Jong roared. The old man turned back around, pointed back at Jong, and said, “That’s the big deal, yo!”

“Well, we’ll be leaving now.” Jack said as he and Wuya began flying away. “You all play nice, now.”

“But not too nice.” Wuya added.

After Jack and Wuya left everything went silent for a while. Rap Master Fung, Dojo, Rai, Kim, Omi, and Clay all just stared at Jong silently and the monster stared back at them breathing heavily. As the silence went on Dojo got bored and pulled a sandwich from off screen and started munching on it. However, that was the straw that broke the camels back for as soon as Jong heard Dojo’s teeth crunch through the lettuce he let out a thundering roar and started attacking.

Immediately Jong raised the Glove of Get-The-F-Over-Here in the air and the eye of Dumbshit came flying out of the Shen Gong Wu vault and attached itself to Jong’s chest. Jong then knocked Rap Master Fung aside with the Fist of Tubby-Gut and then shot a bolt of lightning at Dojo, burning his sandwich to a crisp and knocking the dragon unconscious. At this point the four young monks went on the offensive. Clay slammed his fists against the ground and they were magically covered with rocks. Clay charged at Jong and attempted to cause some damage with his stone fists but Jong, using the Jetboots-in-ass, jumped into the air and hovered there until Clay had passed by, at which point he flew down and kicked Clay’s rear, sending him flying into a wall. Next Omi summoned the water from the nearby fountain and formed the water into two ice swords. He twirled the sword in the air a few times before charging at Jong himself. Jong, however, used the Glove of Get-The-F-Over-Here to take one of the swords from him. The two engaged in a short duel, matching each other swing for swing until Jong cracked his ice sword over Omi’s head and then punched the little monk with the Fist of Tubby-Gut, sending him flying back and skidding across the ground. Next it was Kim’s turn. The Japanese girl engulfed her hands in fire and started throwing fireball after fireball at the colossal monster. Jong easily ducked and dodged each one, eventually finding a clear chance to shoot a bolt of lightning at the girl and knock her out. Now it was all up to Rai.

Meanwhile Jack and Wuya sat up on the roof watching the fight and eating Popcorn. “Great show, eh?” Jack asked before stuffing a handful of popcorn in his mouth.

“Since when are you Canadian?” Wuya asked sarcastically. “Go Jong! Show them that you’re more evil that your name leads them to believe!”

Back on the ground Rai was trying to think of a way to save the day all the while backing away from Jingle Jangle Jong who was slowly making his way towards the Brazilian teenager, casting a long an ominous shadow. “Ok, Rai, c’mon. You’re smarter than this. You can think of something.” He began glancing around. Somewhere between Kim’s unconscious body and Rap Master Fung, who was just now staggering back to his feet, he noticed something blue and shiny. “Is that the Bong of Jong?... That’s it!” Without a second thought Rai dove for the bong, grabbed it, and jumped back to his feet, grinning like the big hero.

Wuya’s jaw dropped to the ground and her eye’s bulged out of her mask. “You dropped the Bong of Jong? Jack, you bumbling idiot! It’s a part of Jingle Jangle Jong! If Raimundo grabs it he can challenge Jong to a Xiaolin Show-off for it!”

“Oh, snap.” Jack said. “Didn’t see that coming.”

Just as Rai had expected as soon as he grabbed the Bong of Jong it gave off a golden aura. “All right, Jingle Jangle Jong, I challenge you… to a Xiaolin Rap-off!”

Jong stomped his way over to Rai, bent over to eye level, and glared and growled at him. He roared at him once before, “Right ho, old chap. I accept your challenge to a test of hip-hop singing skills.” He said in a thick British accent.

“Whoa, you’re British?” Rai asked.

“Couldn’t see that coming with a telescope, now could you?” Jong asked. “Now, let’s get this started.”

“Let’s go, Xiaolin Rap-off!”

POOF!! A puff of smoke went up and Rai and Jong suddenly found themselves standing on a brightly lit stage. Just below the stage was the judges table where Dojo, Wuya, and Rap Master Fung sat.

“All right, I’ll get this started.” Jong said as he threw on a pair of sunglasses, a few golden chains around his flaming blue neck, and tied a bandana around his head. The next thing they knew the music started playing and Jong started rapping like he was a pro.

“Jingle Jangle Jong, that is my name. I don’t do what I do for the glory or fame. All it ever brings me is hatred and shame. Chaos and destruction is my game. This is the Jingle Jangle Jam, Jingle Jangle Jam. I drive a Jaguar while you drive a Dodge Ram. Can I get a ‘hell yeah’, my man? You know what this is? It is the jam.”

“Let’s see ya beat that, short stuff.” Jong jeered at Rai.

Rai prepared for his rap the same way Jong did, putting on a few golden chains and sunglasses, but he chose a sideways baseball cap instead of a bandana. “All right, but you asked for it, bitch.” He said smugly as Jong passed the microphone to him.

“When I go walking down the street I get shot a lot, ‘cause I wrote some stupid songs and smoked a lot of pot. And when I get to the stage all tired and shot they boo me away ‘cause they like rock. Now I’m a suck sucky rapper, suck sucky rapper. Yeah I’m a suck sucky rapper, suck sucky rapper.”

“Let’s see ya beat that, Jongy boy.”

“Oh, I intend to.”

“For fifteen-hundred years I’ve been scattered around. Until just recently all of me has been found. Now I’m gunna pile drive you all into the ground. And guess what, bitches, yo asses are mine now. This is the Jingle Jangle Jam, Jingle Jangle Jam. I drive a Jaguar while you drive a Dodge Ram. Can I get a ‘hell yeah’, my man? You know what this is? It is the jam.”

“You just got schooled.”

“Yeah, well you’re about to be owned.”

“The rival gangs watch as I go driving by. In the back seat my bro’s and ho’s are getting really high. I travel the streets with bullets ready to fly, but I wake up in the hospital ‘cause I got shot in the thigh. Now I’m a suck sucky rapper, suck sucky rapper. Yeah I’m a suck sucky rapper, suck sucky rapper.”

“And questions, newbie?”

“Yeah, you gunna give up yet?”

“My first name is Jingle, My last name is Jong. All the ladies love me ‘cause I’m hard and long. I’d like to see you bitches try to sing this song. My first name is Jingle, My last name is Jong. This is the Jingle Jangle Jam, Jingle Jangle Jam. I drive a Jaguar while you drive a Dodge Ram. Can I get a ‘hell yeah’, my man? You know what this is? It is the jam.”

“Had enough?”

“Not even close.”

“And now I’m under arrest ‘cause I shot at the pope. All I worry about now is dropping the soap. And now I’m getting high off a lot of dope ‘cause I made a big mistake. Me and my girlfriend eloped. . Now I’m a suck sucky rapper, suck sucky rapper. Yeah I’m a suck sucky rapper, suck sucky rapper. Rap sucks… yeah rap sucks. Can ya hear me, rap sucks. Yeah rap sucks. I said rap sucks. Word…”

Everyone in the crowd (a total four people including Jack, Kim, Omi, and Clay) started cheering for the both of them. Whoever won this defiantly deserved it. “And now it’s time for the Judges to reveal their scores for Jingle Jangle Jong…” Some random voice from the speakers said. “First, the Heylin Bitch, Wuya.” Wuya reached under the table and pulled up a ten. “Next, Dojo the Dragon.” Dojo pulled up a zero. “Oh, that’s too bad. Now it’s all up to Rap Master Fung.” Fung sat there for a moment stroking his beard and messing with the chains around his neck as if thinking it over carefully before grabbing a card from under the table and showing it to Rai and Jong. “And that’s a total score of nineteen! With two completely biased scores Jong finally gets an honest one to bring him up to nineteen! Now, let’s see the scores for Raimundo. First, the Heylin Bitch, Wuya.” Wuya simply flashed the zero card before tossing it aside. “Oh, too bad. Next, Dojo the dragon.” Dojo proudly held up the ten card, and for laughs he put it in front of Wuya’s face. “All right! Now it’s time for the final score from Rap Master Fung.” Again rap Master Fung was deep in thought before he showed his score. H reached under the table, grabbed a card, and brought it back up for all to see. “It’s a ten! Giving Raimundo a total of twenty of Jongs nineteen! Rai wins! Rai Wins!”

POOF!! Everything returned to normal and Rai was now holding the Bong of Jon proudly in his hand. “Any last words, Jingles?”

“Oh yes. Could we progress to the end more quickly, if you don’t mind?” Jong grumbled.

“Fine. Omi, do your thing.” Rai said.

“End simulation!” Omi called out. Just like that the scenery, Jong, Wuya, Jack, Dojo, and Rap Master Fung vanished into a single room with steel walls. “Call me crazy but I don’t think anyone saw that coming.”

“So, why exactly do we have that simulation in the danger room?” Kim asked.

“I still don’t understand when we got a danger room in the first place.” Clay said.

“In this order.” Rai said. “Blame Dojo for being able to come up with a good, yet somewhat stupid story line and get it through your thick skull, Clay, it’s an X-men joke. Now who’s up for pizza?”

“I’m in.” Omi agreed.

“Me too.” Clay also agreed.

“Hold on one damn second!” Kim broke in. “Now we just went through a half-assed yet surprisingly epic parody of our TV show and it all just turned out to be a stupid simulation. What if someone would’ve watched this? Don’t you think it would be like a giant middle finger to anymore who did?”

“Girl, we’re fictional characters.” Rai said. “Who cares what anyone thinks about us.”

“Hm… good point.” Kim agreed. “But we have to include the PMS joke in there?”

“That was real life.” Rai corrected her.

“Oh.” Kim said before reaching off screen to grab Dojo’s Louisville Slugger and whack Rai over the head with it.

“Damn, girl, you hit hard!”

(a/n) you have to admit, Rai's rap was genious. he was rapping about how rap music and the rapper life style sucks, thats gold! anyway, thanks to anymore who read and reviewd this and I hope you enjoyed it, not to mention laughed until milk shot out your nose. for the record, Im not positive if I will yet but Im considering writing a third. but if I do it wont be for a while.