I am not Stephanie Meyer, therefore I own nothing of Twilight.

.:Prologue:.

Why did everything have to be white? It wasn't happy, it wasn't hopeful; it was blank and monotonous. Why couldn't they have done something happy like orange or yellow?

I chewed my thumbnail, focusing intently on the hospital walls ignoring the pain from the injuries I received. I sat with my arms wrapped around my knee's waiting in anticipation for news on my cousin. I refused to look up in the accusing faces of my family. Like it was my fault I only had bumps and bruises, it was my fault Adam didn't wear a seat belt. It was my fault the drunk driver came out of nowhere and hit us. I squeezed my knee's tighter and bit down a little harder on my thumbnail as I tried to block out the images from that night.

The different smells in the hospital were starting to get to me. The alcohol and hand sanitizer smell I could handle, but the other smells made me nervous. I could smell blood...blood and death. I shook my head and began rocking trying to distract myself from the last part.

Everything is going to be okay. Adam was going to come out of surgery completely healed and within a couple days he'd be back home. I thought to myself trying to swallow past the lump that had risen in my throat. I rocked a little faster and laid my head on my knee's. Everything is going to be just fine.

"Ahem." I heard a throat clear, my head shot up. My body tensed when I noticed it was the surgeon that had been working on Adam. He looked tired, but his face was covered by a veil of fake calm. I sat up straight ready to ask when I could go see him. I had to see him. I had to make sure he was all right.

"How is he?" My aunt Justine asked her voice shaky. My heart hammered against my chest waiting to hear his answer.

"I'm sorry..." Was all he said. Then he dropped his head and shook it.

I stared at him in disbelief. What did he mean 'sorry'? Sorry for what? Was his leg broke? His shoulder dislocated? I waited for him to continue. Willed him to continue. I shook my head. I didn't want to face the truth that lived behind those words, because Adam was not dead. He couldn't be. Aunt Justine turned to cry into my uncles arm's. I still stood dumbfounded, refusing to look further into what he implied. I kept looking in the direction the doctor came from, waiting for Adam to come walking out to show that he was just fine. I ground my teeth. Begging for some sort of sign that he was coming. Adam was not dead.

“No.” I said and my voice cracked. I shook my head and my nostrils flared holding back the tears that threatened to fall. “No no no no...” I kept repeating the word over waiting for someone to say it with me. No one said anything.

The doctors face fell and he gave me a sympathetic look. My body became heavy with despair when realization caught up with my brain. When it finally decided to register the truth. I fell to my knees, no longer able to hold myself up. Pain tore through me and threatened to rip out of my body. I crossed my arms, grabbing my sides, trying to hold it all in, refusing to let myself fall apart in a room full of people that hated me. The pain was unbearable. It was suffocating. It felt like there were boulders sitting in my chest and the only way I could release them was if I cried or screamed. But I couldn't, not here.

I began pulling my hair, trying to turn it into a different pain. But my world came crashing down as flashes of my life with Adam ran through my head. I could see us swimming at Riverside, pushing each other off the dock. I saw him sticking up for me when I was the target of cruel teasing. I saw his beautiful smile and heard his deep husky laugh. I couldn't face the fact I would never see him again. My body began to tremble begging for some kind of relief. I held it in.

Adam wasn't just my cousin, he was my best friend; my only friend. The only person that understood me and didn't hate me because of who I was. What was I going to do without him. He couldn't leave me. It felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I felt my lip quiver and bit down on it hard.

Please let it be a mistake. Let them go in there and find out that he is still alive. Please.

"What did you do?!" I heard someone scream, shaking me out of my haze. "You stupid selfish girl. He didn't even want to go, but no you wanted to go and you knew he would do anything you wanted." Aunt Justine roared. My uncle held her back as she tried to fight her way to me. I couldn't say anything, I was lost for words. She was right, he didn't want to go out tonight, but I begged and pleaded and he gave in, like always. Now...he was gone.

"You are a curse to this family, as well as your whore mother." She screamed. I continued to just stare as her words were seared into my mind. I swallowed hard, trying to hold down the bile that was slowly creeping up. My head began to pound.

I knew there was only one way I could get myself together; only one way to get away from it all. I had to run away from my world that was slowly being ripped apart.

I jumped to my feet and ran out down the hall, bumping into people and knocking down trays, ignoring the curses that followed. I didn't care, I had to get out of there. I had to get away from them, away from death. I took the stairs not wanting to stop for the elevators. I didn't need anymore time to stop and think. I needed to run.

The cold night air stung as I exited the double doors, but it didn't slow me down, it was nothing compared to the emotional pain that was tearing up my insides. I never knew pain like this was possible. How was someone supposed to survive after this?

I knew where I needed to go. Where I longed to be. I ran as fast as I could. Pushing my legs as hard as they would allow, squeezing my eyes shut, forcing back the tears that threatened to fall. I made it to the woods on the edge of town. As soon as I was safely hidden from the public eye I shifted, trying to leave the sorrow and the truth behind.

This story will have Jacob in it. So if you don't like Jake and for some reason you find yourself reading this story, please don't leave any mean comments. I don't mind constructive criticism, I actually welcome it. However, flames are unnecessary.

This story takes place after Eclipse, and possibly Breaking Dawn. Edward and Bella left so he could change her,(because that's what happens in my Twilight world) the Cullens went with them as well.

I want to thank my wonderful and talented beta, for dealing with my hundreds of e-mails and many random thoughts