|My Life Or Death Wish List
Author: Graffiti2DMyHeart PM
JD is madly in love with Dr. Cox and when he finally musters up the courage to confess...something tragic happens. Now Perry needs to find the one person who can give him salvation. He just wishes someone would look at him DAMMIT. JDCoxRated: Fiction T - English - Supernatural/Romance - John D./J.D. & Dr. Cox/Perry - Chapters: 6 - Words: 25,090 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 93 - Updated: 07-18-12 - Published: 06-20-08 - id: 4338116
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
AN: Ehehehehehe. *twirls mustache* Faust here!
It's been forever guys! I've seen that some scrubs writers have updated their works after years so I'll hop on that too. *coughs MyHardTime cough*
I've waited to write this scene ever since this was an idea in my head.
I just have to say a huge THANK YOU for all the reviews I received, even though I hadn't updated in forever. All the begging and pleading and shameless flattery worked- Here's a long overdue update.
"You know…" she murmured hesitantly,"Doctor Cox."
A twisted smile contorted on his face, but it was what he said that made them look at him with horror.
"Who?" he questioned. "I don't know who you are talking about."
"Who? I don't know who you are talking about."
"What?" Dr. Cox yelled from behind them. This...this was ridiculous.
"Don't know who- Newbie-Jesus! Is this some kind of sick joke? I-it's me."
Before Percival was able to produce more words, JD started off to begin his rounds, trying to pick up the slack and calm down the mayhem that the absent doctors created. Perry found himself following his protege automatically, analyzing his moves and seeing how he functioned with his patients.
Dr. Dorian wore the same goofy grin with his patients, yet held an air of confidence that they needed to cling to for hope. His bed side manner was impeccable and he quickly and efficiently diagnosed the sick with an impressive swiftness that had even Dr. Cox's eyebrows raised in impressed surprise. He had always kept JD under his careful watchful eye, but something was different. It was as if Dorian was completely focused on his patients and was either oblivious to the world around him, or was just blocking out his surroundings.
It wasn't until an intern approached him that he snapped out of his stupor.
"Dr. Dorian?" A timid intern must have heard about his sudden bout of craziness and decided to be careful in her choosing her words. She glanced down to her clipboard to check the words she wrote down to make sure she didn't slip up.
"Um-Sacred Heart hired a- uh-" She swallowed nervously as he stared at her. "A replacement-no that's not right…a uh- TEMPORARY doctor to help and he w-would like to meet you."
JD broke out into a smile, calming the stuttering intern.
"I'd love to meet him. I should thank him for his hard work here while I was away."
She grinned and turned away, "Okay! I'll go get hi-"
"There is no need for that."
JD's eyes widened as the doctor steadied the intern that just ran into him.
"Oh t-thank you." She stuttered nervously and quickly scurried away.
The man ran his hand through his fiery red curls and flicked his nose in a familiar fashion that could only mimic one.
JD's throat ran dry and he could only stare at the man who's features where so similar. Meanwhile, Perry's reaction could only mirror JD's, except his mouth was open in silent horror.
"Impossible…" He whispered.
The man smiled warmly as JD almost flinched away. He extended his hand out, offering a handshake. "You must be Dr. Dorian."
"There's no way in hell…"
JD slowly extended his arm after a mental shake and realized that his imagination must be playing tricks on him and he grasped the hand. The other doctor's grin widened as he used his other hand to swing around and grab JD into a massive bear hug.
JD's eyes prickled with tears as memories tempted to flood up as he smelled scotch and spices that just distinctly smelled like…Perry.
It was strange. JD did not know the man. It wasn't Perry. Even though he had he same icy blue eyes and Irish curls that could only belong to one. Still, he didn't pull away from the overly friendly hug, instead just sinking into it.
The man pulled away and stared at JD with concern. "Sorry about that son, you looked like you needed that."
Dr. Cox slowly started to back away.
"He can't be real."
The doctor threw JD a toothy grin. "My name is Dr... Rhys, it's nice to see the young doctor everyone here is talking about."
The whole situation was ironic. Dr. Cox was dead himself but he knew for a fact that he was staring at a ghost. "Get away from him you bastard!" He growled.
Dr. Rhys smiled and invited Dr. Dorian to walk with him. "Please let me update you on the situation here."
Any thoughts of ditching the kid to go find his"special person" before were dashed as Perry resolved to not leave Newbie alone with this man.
JD listened to the man's low rumble dully as his mind drifted off. Some God must have it out for him because so soon... so soon after...all Dr. Rhys reminded him of was HIM. The smell, the looks. From the nose swiping to the voice. Everything. Except he was older and while his eyes contained the blue sapphires, they were cold and hard. They didn't give JD the feeling that he'd melt on the spot. The doctor then waved farewell, leaving an empty feeling in JD's chest. As if someone took something and replaced it with a lesser quality product. Doctor Rhys then sneered at seemingly nothing and continued on.
Perry practically gulped as the intense stare was directed at him. So full of hatred. No good intentions. But then he moved on as if nothing had happened.
JD closed his eyes and knew that if he didn't find a secluded area soon, that he'd break apart in front of everyone. He had tried SO HARD to remain strong but... JD ran into he nearest on call room, covering his mouth with his hands while praying to God no one saw him. He slammed the door and locked it, scanning the room to see if there were any witnesses. The room was clear and JD's shaking increased from his hands to his whole body. Dr. Cox walked through effortlessly and stood with his arms folded and leaned against the wall, wishing he could do something. He could only listen to the mans choked sobs.
"Not real. He doesn't exist. He never did. It's easier this way."
Percival's hairs stood up on his neck. Did he really leave such an impact on this man? Still, he was pissed. JD could just...forget him? Poof! Gone without a thought? Perry guessed that JD just never really cared for him in the first place. That thought just ticked him off even more.
JD buried his face in his hands and practically rocked himself.
"He never existed...he means nothing...he'll go away..."
A sudden wave of hurt washed over the man as he started to yell at his once protege. He knew his rants would go deaf on his ears, yet Perry could not stop the slew of words that tumbled from his lips.
"Really JD? Heh...I guess you are just like the rest of the sad sacks in this goddamn hospital. Well you know what? SCREW YOU. I thought...I thought you were different. But I see now. You just run away from your problems. Try to block it out to stop the ouchies huh? TOUGH. Life is pain."
JD's hands retracted from his lowered face and curled into fists into the on call room bed sheets.
"Well fine. You wanna play this game? Then here's some irony for you. YOU are dead to ME."
JD shot up suddenly, screaming, "SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP!" He raised his fists and started to pound them on Perry's chest as tears dripped from his nose and streamed down his cheeks. "Stop following me! LEAVE ME ALONE. You don't exist!"
Perry caught his wrists gently, halting the assault. JD's head slowly came forward and his forehead touched Perry's chest.
"Not real. Definitely a dream." He mumbled. Perry stood there, stunned at the contact. Not knowing what to do and overwhelmed at the situation, Percival wrapped his arms around the defeated form in front of him in a sort of a hug, but-would-never-admit-it.
"Okay NOW I know I'm dreaming." He snorted. He pushed away and the small twinkle of light that began to shine in his eyes faded leaving them sunken.
"You'd never hug me. You'd already have called me three girls names by now." The tired man wrapped his arms around himself. "You are too nice. You aren't him. You are what my mind wishes for him to be."
Dr. Cox didn't know himself why he wasn't being the same calloused man who didn't give a damn that he normally was. Maybe it was because his mind was in a jumble and he couldn't fully grasp the situation. As much as he wanted to piece together what in the hell was going on, he still had a hysterical Newbie on his hands.
When Perry snapped out of his thoughts he found JD pacing the floor, mumbling broken pieces of sentences along the lines of, "I don't wanna go to therapy. Cant afford it. They scare me. I am really going crazy..."
"Hey..." Perry tried.
"Oh God, what would my Nana say?"
"-and my MOTHER."
JD halted for a moment, slowly grinning and shaking his head. "Much better..."
Perry practically rolled his eyes in relief. "Are you done playing, "Oh poor me my sanity has slipped once more", spiel? Cause that tune is getting old." His voice held no bite in it though due to the flood of happiness of acknowledgment and it came out more so teasingly.
"The rants...they are too real..." JD whispered in disbelief. "Either I am too far lost in my imagination or you are real."
Perry extended his arms out in a, "So-What-Of-It" gesture.
JD's face scrunched up. "But no...I saw your body...I saw..." His gaze lowered. "Your legs..." He reached out his hand as if to touch it. "They were crushed in the crash."
Perry resisted the urge to flex his legs, grateful for his body's pristine form. "Well as you can see Newbie-God it felt good to say that- I am here. Although I can't blame you for admiring this Adonis body, but seriously you are going to have to get back to work someday."
JD snorted, although it was short lived. He curled into himself once more. His voice was very tiny, but the Irishman could hear a soft, "Why?" escape his lips.
Perry blinked. "Why what?"
JD kept his face lowered. "Why did you do it? Why did you fake your death?"
Percival's eyes widened. He didn't know...
JD's voice slowly rose its timber. Rising higher than the initial whisper it started out to be. "Do you know what you put me through? Put Carla through? Put us ALL through?"
"These past couple WEEKS I couldn't even FUNCTION. Everything around me is breaking apart. I couldn't tell dreams from reality, I was so messed up."
"Newbie wait..." Perry backed up at JD's slow climb. His voice growing louder and louder.
Did...did Newbie care this much for him? Obviously, considering that the kid was here, talking to him, practically shouting now.
"Maybe you did this because the thought of hanging with with me twice for a prolonged period of time would just KILL YOU!" JD's eyes flashed. "You know I blamed myself. I FUCKING BLAMED MYSELF! It's ALL MY FAULT YOU WERE DEAD AND NOW YOU ARE HERE TO FUCK WITH MY EMOTIONS AGAIN PERRY? SCREW YOU!"
JD moved to shoved the stunned man, but JD's arms pushed past through him.
JD's eyes blinked owlishly in the silence. He slowly retracted his arms and collapsed on his on his knees as if the breath was knocked out of him.
Perry could still feel the tinges of -SadnessRegretTerrorHOPE-that contact with JD left him. He watched JD remain motionless before him, hot tears spilling down his face and splashing the floor beneath him. He knew he had to intervene before JD had lost it completely.
He knelt down in front of the weeping man and extended his arm, trying to recreate his thoughts of when he was able to grab JD's wrists and hold him.
"Need to hold. Need to touch," sure enough, his hand came in contact with JD's deflated shoulder, causing him to stiffen under his touch.
"JD," he said slowly, making sure he heard him. "You are NOT crazy...I am dead..."
JD's head sharply turned up and icy blues met deep ones. His eyes begged for answers that Perry couldn't give.
"Why are you here?"
"Because I am just so amazing that heaven nor hell could contain me."
"B-but are you stuck here?" JD's voiced cracked. Perry tightened his grip. "You gotta stop the waterworks Nancy. Its making your makeup smear."
JD gave a small sniffle but otherwise kept his tears in. He continued.
"Things are so weird right now. But apparently I have a mission. And it surrounds you. But Newbie first I gotta tell you-" "BEEP BEEP BEEP!"
JD's pager suddenly went off and he yelped in surprise. He leapt up, quickly rubbed at his eyes and glanced between the pager and Perry for a few seconds.
Perry whistled and pointed at the door. "What the hell are you waiting for? Go! We can talk later."
JD nodded and bolted down the hallway, his calm and controlled doctor mask slipping on.
Perry remembered something and tried to shout after the younger man. "Wait! That new doctor! He-"
But JD's form had already disappeared. The Irishman grit his teeth and clenched his fists. There was no way he was going to let JD go out there not knowing of the danger he could be in. He wasn't anyone's Guardian Angel Goddammit, but he wasn't going to let this man run loose. He finally caught up to the scene of a patient coding.
The crazy dance had started.
Nurses scrambling by, doctors shouting orders, all to the tune of the shrill alarm in the air of the heart monitor. Perry froze when he saw Dr. Rhys being the one in charge. He was applying the chest compressions appropriately and JD was right at his side with the chest paddles at the ready. Percival felt a bite of jealousy and with held his growl to observe the scene. Everyone was performing admirably and Dr. Cox had to admit that he could not have done better. An audible sigh of relief filled the room as the patient's heart restarted and normalized. Dr. Rhys threw a wolfish grin to JD as he peeled off his gloves. "Good job kid." JD blushed and looked down at the praise. Dr. Cox could feel his eye twitch.
"Come on, let me buy you lunch. You just saved a life- let's celebrate."
JD tugged at his sleeve, embarrassed. "Er- no I didn't really. You did most of the work-"
The man put a hand at the small of his back and led him from the ER. "Oh come now, I insist."
Dr. Cox's eyes narrowed. Oh there was no way in hell...
As they went down the Cafeteria line, JD noticed how everyone acted around the new doctor. Nurses would turn their heads, even some of the male ones. The portions on the doctor's plate was noticeably larger too. The Cashier even boldly winked at the man before handing him his change. JD didn't understand the allure though. Sure he was muscular and well toned- which was difficult to get in any gym time in between your job and studying medical journals just to keep up- and he had fiery red curls that rebelled around his head. But he just wasn't- there was no comparison. His eyes, while the same blue, were just not HIS.
JD sat down and grinned sheepishly. There was no reason not to be nice to the new doctor. He had made quite a name for himself at Sacred Heart. He was able to keep the hospital afloat, doing the work for both of the missing doctors. He liked the man, but there was just something off about him...
Dr. Cox felt ridiculous. He was hiding behind a column in the cafeteria, peering from behind it occasionally. Granted no one could see him if he was covered or not, but he didn't want his presence known.. He knew that JD could see him, but he was also pretty sure that so could the so called, 'Dr. Rhys". He two men seemed to have a civil lunch in the middle of the cafeteria. He glared as he recognized the tactics the man was employing.
He was charming JD and Perry didn't think the kid was strong enough to resist. The man was flattering the younger doctor, weaving wondrous tales that were lies of his doctor years and then to top it off he followed up with a sob story about how he was new here and all alone. Wah. Wah. Wah. Then he went in for the kill.
He offered to take JD out for drinks later after their shift. Perry groaned. Judging by the way the hospital staff swooned over him, he had already won their hearts over. It was not a far stretch to know that JD would be as well. JD paused and took a sip from his soda, mulling over the man's words. Sure he was flattered to be offered to hang out with this man after their shift, a thing that Dr. Cox would never do. But that was just it. He wasn't Dr. Cox. And he wasn't about to substitute the man he loved for Dr. Rhys. There was nothing romantic involved in between JD and the doctor. It was obviously extremely platonic and he was more of a father figure if any. Plus while the man was good looking, he had to have at least 20 years or more on JD. Still, JD knew he had other priorities than finding a father figure. He set his drink down.
"I'm sorry, but I have a prior engagement." He gave him a soft smile and stood up. "Thank you for the lunch Dr. Rhys."
The man grinned up at him. "Please, just Rhys. And another time then, Sport."
Perry's heart swelled with pride at JD at his decision. He had underestimated him. He trailed after JD, but not before looking over his shoulder at almost stumbling at the evil glare that was being sent right at him. He threw a glare of his own and ran after JD.
JD had a few more minutes left before his break was over and found himself being veered towards a supply closet by his mentor. His eyes widened questionably but Dr. Cox just barked. "In. Now. We need to talk." JD slammed into the door while Perry continued on, tugging on him.
"Ow! Door! OW. I can't go THROUGH THEM." JD managed to fumble with the handle and was dragged inside, the door slamming shut.
JD picked himself up and was caught being the focus of a serious gaze. He could tell from his jerky movements that Perry was angry. But why? What had he done?
"That was-uh. Good. That was good. You declining that."
Well that was unexpected.
JD blinked and opened his mouth, but Perry cut him off with his hand.
"No no. You gotta listen to me. Let me finish."
Perry breathed out, feeling some of the tension leave from his encounter with the doctor. "Dr. Rhys...is not who you think he is. There is something seriously wrong here."
JD wanted to snort, "You mean besides the whole, 'ghost' situation?" But he kept it to himself.
Perry continued on. He heaved a sigh and rubbed his temples.
"I know something is wrong because Rhys is his first name. Do you know what his last is?"
JD swallowed and shook his head. But he started to figure...
"It's Cox. Rhys Gerald Cox. I know this because he is my father. And I know he can't be here because I killed him."
AN: Dun-dun-DAAAAH! That enough of an update for you?
Please review to keep the fires and flames of this fic alight! :D (but no actual flames please)
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Chat me up. 3 Faust