L's Fangirl Alliance
By MedliSage

L Lawliet sighed. The Kira investigation was tiring, he needed a break. On a whim, he had decided to take a walk from the university into the town.

This town seemed strange, though. It was like... a whole other world. The buildings had the strangest titles. Claim an anime character, Moe, The Shrine of Fujibayashi Kyou, Shana Fanclub... wait, did that one coming up say “L Fangirl Alliance?” ...No, it couldn't be. However, as L continued to get closer to it, he found it did indeed say “L Fangirl Alliance.”

...It couldn't be about him. No one outside the Kira investigation team even knew what he looked like. He sighed. Well, he was bored, so why not check it out? There might be something interesting inside.

Upon opening the doors and stepping inside, he stopped rather suddenly. Now, L never really showed his emotions, but he couldn't help but be a little surprised here – on one wall, there were pictures of him – probably 25 of them – with comments tacked around them on sticky notes. On the wall opposite the door, there was a large banner that said “L FANGIRL ALLIANCE” with a picture of him a board beneath it detailing the club's purpose. There was a section of the left wall titled “MemorabLe L-sama Quotes,” a section that said “L Avatars,” both around the largest board titled “About L-sama,” with tons of personal information about him. And in the middle of the large room, there appeared to be a large group of mostly teenage girls – there were a couple of boys, but not many. Within moments of him entering they were all staring at him in awe. After a moment of silence;

“L-SAMA!!” They chorused loudly. Instantly he was surrounded from every angle, there was no escape. He looked around. What did they want? Were they crazy? Wait, were they calling him L-sama? And how did they know this much about him?

“Can I have you autograph?” “Are you really L?” “Let me hug you, please!” “You're so amazing!” “I want to have your babies!” Were some of the dozens of phrases he heard at once.

“Hey, hey, guys, let him have some space, don't freak him out!”

As if L wasn't already freaked out by the wall of pictures of him and the personal information wall...

The group slowly stepped away and gave him a little room. He looked behind himself – a group of them had blocked the exit. Oh boy.

The girl that had told them to stop stepped up to him, parting the crowd as if they were the red sea. She was younger – probably thirteen or so. There was a label on her shirt that said “MedliSage; L's Waifu.” Wait a minute, a waifu? A wife? Wait, what?

“Hello there, I'm Grace,” she said.

“...Hello, Grace.”

“Ohmygod he said my name!!” She was practically vibrating with excitement. The group chorused in a high-pitched, fangirly scream. L covered his ears.

“A-anyway,” She cleared her throat, an extreme redness on her face. “I'm the creator of this place, and these are my co-leaders.” Five other girls lined up next to her. “Krissy, Larissa, Jessie, Lucy, and Bridgette,” she said, pointing at each of them. They payed no attention to her words, their eyes fixated on L.

He glanced around. Not only were they staring at him like he was the second coming of Jesus Christ, every other girl in the room was.

“...So, uh...” L began, but stopped quickly when everyone took a sudden step closer to him, instantly falling silent to listen to his words. After a moment of the intense silence, one girl began to say something, but another quickly cut her off: “Shush! He's speaking!!”

L looked around. There was one girl, sitting in a dark corner, who had not rushed over with the others. Apparently one of them noticed him staring, because she said, “Oh, that's Angel. She's just fantasizing about nasty plays with you.”

...Wait, what?

Angel noticed him finally, running over. “Oh, hello, L-sama!” she said.

One girl put her finger on her lips to signal her to be quiet. “He's going to speak!”

L looked around at the group of teenage girls staring at him intently, most too exicted to even blinked. “...Um...” He finally said, “is this... a fanclub... about... me...?”

All of them nodded eagerly, a waterfall of mixed responses flowing from their mouths. “I love you!” “You're like God to me!” “You're my most favorite character ever!” Were some of them.

“Please stay for a while,” Grace begged.

L looked around. There were still some of them blocking the entrance – it's not like he could leave if he wanted to. Besides, based on the way they were acting, this was possibly the best day of their lives.

“Alright then.”

They screamed again, crowding around him once more. A flood of questions and comments attacked him.

“A-Alright, one at a time, please...”

His words caused all sound to be immediately ceased. They glanced around, each desperately wanting to say something, but not wanting L to disapprove.

“Ah, u-um,” One of them spoke up. Her name tag read, XtransylvanianX; L's Watari. “Uh, um,” she stammered. “I think you are so much better than Light Yagami.”

“Yeah!!” The rest of them chorused.

How did they know about Light? L shook the thought off. “Ah, well, thank you.”

She screamed, turning around to face the group. “He, he thanked me!”

The rest of them joined in the screaming, which eventually died down. It was then L noticed the girl next to him, her eyes shining straight at him. "L-sama... L-sama..." She muttered repeatedly. Her nametag read Lucysky -- L's Imouto. Wait a minute, I don't have a sister, L thought to himself.

“L... can... can...”

All eyes were in the direction of the blonde girl who had spoken. It was one of the ones Grace had introduced earlier, calling her Larissa. The name tag said rockangel37 – L's best friend ever.

...But I don't recall ever meeting this girl...

“...Can I touch you?”

The whole room screamed as if she had just announced the apocalypse.

L blinked. “...Ah... um... sure...?”

“No, me first!” Another said.

“No, no, me!”

“I asked first!”

“But I'm his waifu!”

“Um, you can take turns?” L offered. The room fell silent and all eyes were on him again.

Larissa took a step forward and stared in awe for a moment. Then, slowly, she stuck out a finger and poked him before jumping up and screaming. “Thank you, L, I'll never wash my finger again!!”

“Me next, me next!”

“No, I called it!”

“L, L! Will you touch my plushie?! Please!” Grace said. Out of nowhere, she pulled out a plush, about a foot tall, and held it in front of L.

The detective stared at it. It was a plush of him, the thumb to its mouth in his crouch-sit position, with large, shoujo-style eyes. Cute.

“Um, okay...” He put his hand on the plush.

“Oh, my, GOD! I bet I'm the only girl in the world with an L plush touched by L himself!!”

The the rest of them screamed along with them. At the rate they were doing this, their throats should've completely burned out by now...

And then, one of them finally asked – “Can I hug you?”

Now if L had thought the other screams were bad, at this comment the room absolutely exploded. He didn't even have a foot of personal space left. All them spoke at once; “Me first!” “No, me!” “L please, me!” “Please, please, I'll do anything!”

“Ah, um, if I could just have a little space... and if you could all stop talking at once, I can't hear any of you...”

In an instant the room was silent and he had over a ten foot radius around him of space as they backed off in less than a second. A couple dared to speak, quickly being hushed by their friends.

“...Um... ...if you all really want a hug that badly, you can take turns, I suppose...”

Once again, screams the level of an atomic nuke were dropped. Within seconds there was a single file line in front of him, with some of them fighting over who was first.

It took him a few minutes to get through the dozens of teenage girls wanting him to hug them. There were probably fifty or so total. A few fainted, and were used at door blocks to prevent his future escape, L deduced. Some were too in euphoria to moved and had to be smacked back into reality by the next eager one in line. Then about a quarter of them took far too long, not wanting to ever let go, and had to be practically peeled off him by the next customer.

So after giving out his free hugs, he said, “So, um... what now...?”

“Oh, please stay!!” They begged.

“...I'm investigating a top-secret case, you know...”

“You can do that from here!” Many of them said.

“...Um...” He took a step back, towards the door.

“Block the exit!” One of the officers, Larissa, ordered.

Instantly every member except the leading six were against the doors.

“Please, please, L-sama,” Krissy begged. She looked at her fellow officers. They all knew the fate that would await L if he returned to the Kira investigation...

“Here, here, L-sama!” One girl had not rushed to the door, but instead to a closet on the side of the room. She showed him a laptop. “You can use this! We have mics and speakers and everything, too! We'll build you your own room and make your meals and everything!” He noted that this girl's name tag said CookieChan774 – L's Assistant Detective.

L sighed inwardly. There was no way he was getting out of this place now. He'd escape in the middle of the night... or something.

“Fine.”

Screams that could shatter the sound wall resounded.

After that, L grew accustomed to living with the Fangirl Alliance and they lived HAPPILY EVER AFTER! :D

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Back in the investigation quarters, Near came up to take the investigation as L was “unable” to quote him. He quickly found out Light Im-a-gay – excuse me, Yagami – was Kira and he was sent to rot in jail along with that slut Misa and whore Takada and creepy Mikami. Despite not even being involved in the story yet, they did. And then Near came to live in the fanclub, too. He learned to cooperate with Mello, and Mello came to live there too in order to please his fangirls. So L, Near, and Mello happily solve cases with the help of the fangirls to this day. :D

The end.

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A/N: So... how'd ya like my first crack humor fic? XD If people on this site don't understand it, sorry, but I mostly wrote it for the awesome club “L Fangirl Alliance” at myanimelist . net. You should all go check us out, we are terrific. :3 Thanks to all who agreed to be in this fanfic. It was fun to write. I love you guys, you are the best fangirls ever and great friends.

For those of you paying attention to my ongoing story The Days In Between, fear not. I am still writing it. However I'm lacking ideas. Please, if you have any, feel free to tell me. I need them.

Anyway, thanks for reading, please review! Once again, thanks to the special, awesome, ultimate, terrific L Fangirl Alliance at myanimelist for inspiring me to write this. I love you all!

MedliSage