A/N: Sorry for the late update. Here are 2 chapters at one shot because I know it will be a long time to my next update. I have been really busy because of my new job. I also regret to announce that I am going on an indefinite hiatus, during which I will not have time to update any of my stories. I promise that if I can squeeze time out of my busy schedule, I will try to update. Do keep reviewing (I have 3 active stories at hand and I'll update the one with more reviews first) and thanks for your patience!

Chapter 7: Pacifying the Angry Wife

“I might as well trust her this once and let her take care of the matter herself,” Zhou Yu thought. He had enough troubles on his platter. Besides, if Xiao Qiao was going to execute all her plans for the picnic, he had better be there, or he might find himself like his best friend, having to mollify his wife with foolish antics.

Zhou Yu headed to the military office, which was the headquarters where all Wu strategists and commanders congregated daily to draw up and contemplate complicated battle plans. All of them were assigned desks and bookshelves of their own, but shared a common room. Zhou Yu, Sun Quan and Sun Ce had their individual offices. Sun Ce’s room was of course, collecting cobwebs.

Lately, following Sun Quan’s decision to take action against Shu’s occupation of the Jing Province, the office had become an equivalent of a combat zone. Tempers flared high as crumpled balls of parchment sailed across the air from time to time, a result of frustration from an unviable plan. Indeed, no sooner had Zhou Yu announced his presence with a ‘Good morning’ when he was hit squarely in the face by one.

“I’m sorry, Commander Zhou Yu!” a mortified Lu Xun rushed over to pick up the offending piece of litter. “I didn’t know anyone was going to walk in at this time.”

“I suppose so, seeing that it’s rather late already,” Zhou Yu said grumpily. All the chaos in the morning had made him arrive at the office rather later than usual.

“No, that wasn’t what I meant!” Lu Xun hurriedly clarified. “It’s just that my view was obscured by all these books…” Lu Xun made a sweeping gesture at the towering heap on his desk with his hat, consequently knocking it into the pile.

Lu Xun said something that sounded quite rude while his colleagues winced and tutted at the noisy clattering of books on the floor.

“Well, come and see me in my office when you’ve cleared up this mess. I’d like to speak to you,” Zhou Yu gestured at the jumble of books on the ground before heading to his own room.

“I’m in trouble,” Lu Xun thought morosely as he stooped to pick up his books. Lu Xun had only joined the Wu army recently, but he had come to regard Zhou Yu as a role model whom he greatly admired and respected. Already, he had yet to have many opportunities to flaunt his abilities, and now he had just assaulted his idol, indirectly criticized him for being late, dropped a pile of books and swore in front of him, all in one morning.

“Don’t look so worried, lad,” Lu Su clapped Lu Xun on his back when he dragged his feet to Zhou Yu’s office. “Gongjin has better things to do than to find fault with you over such trivial matters.”

Lu Xun nodded in appreciation for the tip. He took a deep breath and entered Zhou Yu’s office. Sure enough, Zhou Yu was smiling rather benignly at him and did not look as though he was going to berate him. Lu Xun secretly heaved a sigh of relief.

“Can I trouble you to do the post-discussion report and analysis for today’s meeting? I’ve got a family emergency to take care of,” Zhou Yu said.

Lu Xun goggled at Zhou Yu, wondering if he was hearing things.

“Today’s meeting? That crucial meeting about the campaign for the Jing Province?” Lu Xun whispered hoarsely when he had found half his voice back.

Zhou Yu clasped his fingers and nodded.

“But… the campaign... it’s very important, isn’t it?” Lu Xun asked, still refusing to believe his own ears.

“Well yes, it pretty much concerns the pride and dignity of Wu. Why? Are you not willing to do it?” Zhou Yu raised an eyebrow quizzically.

“No… it’s just… it’s just… YES!” Lu Xun’s trembling voice gave way to a loud yell, causing Zhou Yu to slip sideways in his chair. Zhou Yu watched in amusement as the young strategist ran around his room, punching the air triumphantly several times.

“Thank you! Thank you so much, Commander! I will not fail you!” Lu Xun gushed as he grabbed Zhou Yu’s hands and shook them energetically. He then tore out of the room, cheering loudly, once again drawing many winces and tutting for the disturbance.

Zhou Yu wished Sun Ce exhibited half the enthusiasm Lu Xun did when it came to strategic planning for battles. He was still feeling sore that Sun Ce refused to attend the meeting. The best he could now hope for was that Sun Ce would be able to resolve his marital issues quickly. After all, what kind of man could rule a country if he could not even manage a family?

--

Da Qiao tossed and turned in her bed. She stuffed her fingers into her ears. Then she tried to wrap her head with her blanket. This was no good. The weather was hot, she was suffocating, and Sun Ce’s horrible croaking was yet to be shut out from her ears.

“Shut up!” she cried, flinging her pillow against the door. It hit the door with a loud thud and fell to the floor. Subsequently, there was silence.

Good, now I can have some peace.

Da Qiao closed her eyes.

Why’s he quiet? Did he give up? Has he left?

Da Qiao sat up angrily, annoyed at herself for fretting over the heartless cad, and frustrated at the prospect that she meant so little to him. She contemplated opening the door to see if he was still outside, but what if this was just a ruse? She would end up looking desperate.

You’re being contradictory. You told him to shut up. Why are you upset that he’s obeyed you?

Unable to withstand the suspense, Da Qiao got out of bed and crept towards the door. She would peak through the gap between the double doors to check if Sun Ce was still there.

That man’s dead meat if he’s gone.

Peering through the fine strip of darkness, Da Qiao was irritated to find that she could not see a thing outside. Then again, if she could, it would be time to get a new set of double-doors.

Suddenly, a loud rap on the door sounded right beside her ear, causing her to scoot back to bed.

Great, he’s still there.

“Get lost! I’m trying to sleep!” she answered.

“Open up, daughter! It’s me!”

Da Qiao could not help feeling a pang of disappointment as she shuffled towards the door and opened it. To her surprise, Sun Ce was standing behind her scowling father, looking abashed.

“Now look here,” Qiao Xuan said sternly, “I’m trying to take my afternoon nap and Bofu’s dreadful vocals are distressing me. Either you take this argument out of the house or iron it out like adults.”

Da Qiao felt her face grow hot as her father trotted off.

“So I can come in now right?” Sun Ce beamed and darted into the room before his wife could close the door on him.

“I don’t have a choice, do I?” Da Qiao said grudgingly, annoyed that her husband did not have the decency to look the least bit guilty.

“Are you still mad at me? Oh please don’t be. I’ve realized my mistake,” Sun Ce tried to put his arms around his wife, but she pushed him away.

“I’m too cowardly to be your wife. Go and find someone else who’ll protect you from cockroaches,” Da Qiao said snidely.

“Aww come on, you know I didn’t mean it. I was so shocked that I lost my wits. You had first-hand experience. You know how it felt like, don’t you?” Sun Ce said pleadingly.

“Don’t remind me,” Da Qiao closed her eyes to shut out the nightmarish experience from her vision.

“Then again, I would gladly chew up a hundred cockroaches to prevent them from appearing before your eyes,” Sun Ce said.

“Oh don’t be gross!” Da Qiao blanched. She reached out a hand to hit him, but he caught it and took it in his hands.

“Will you please forgive me?” Sun Ce squeezed her hand gently and looked at her with puppy-dog eyes.

Da Qiao sighed. Sun Ce always put on this expression whenever he wanted to seek forgiveness. And the problem was, she could never resist it.

“All right! But this had better not happen again!” Da Qiao snapped.

“It won’t!” Sun Ce placed a fist over his heart.

“Let’s go home then, we’ve wasted enough time here,” Da Qiao said.

“Yeah, time we could have spent in bed,” Sun Ce grinned.

“You just got out of bed a couple of hours ago, you lazy bum!” Da Qiao chided.

With a mischievous glint in his eye, Sun Ce replied, “Oh but there are other things we can do in bed.”

“Don’t even think about it!” Da Qiao whacked Sun Ce smartly on his arm with her giant fan. “Haven’t you got a meeting to attend?”

“Gongjin excused me from it,” Sun Ce said grumpily as he rubbed his sore arm.

“I don’t believe you,” Da Qiao narrowed her eyes. She knew that Sun Ce’s lack of interest in politics was a constant source of concern for the strategist. If Sun Ce had displayed such a rarity of agreeing to attend a meeting, Zhou Yu would not let him get away easily.

“It’s true! He wanted me to use the time to patch up with you,” Sun Ce retorted.

“Well, we’ve patched up, so there should be no more excuses for you not to go!” Da Qiao asserted.

“But… but… I just nearly swallowed a cockroach! I feel so ill now that I don’t think I can eat for the rest of my life. I need a physician!” Sun Ce made a great show of feeling faint, but his wife saw through his tricks.

Da Qiao crossed her arms and said sternly, “One of these days, you’re going to get me into serious trouble, and my father will regret ever marrying me to you.”

“How am I going to get you into serious trouble when it’s my fault for not being interested?” Sun Ce did not quite see the logic.

“Your men are so selfish,” Da Qiao sighed. “Women have always been blamed for the downfall of incompetent rulers. Da Ji was blamed for the collapse of the Shang Dynasty because King Zhou was infatuated with her and neglected state affairs. Bao Si’s involvement in the ruin of the Western Zhou Dynasty was popularized in the legend of the Beacon Tower although in truth, how could she be blamed for the idiocy of the ridiculous King You? And in recent times, there was Diao Chan who was accredited for the end of the tyrant Dong Zhuo’s reign. If Wu fails because of your nonchalance, I’m going to be blacklisted in history for some ridiculous reason, like monopolizing your time for instance.”

Da Qiao looked back at her husband, hoping she would receive some empathy in him. However, all she saw was a look of blank confusion.

“These are famous episodes in Chinese history!” Da Qiao cried, exasperated.

“Do you really think I’d be interested in reading about a bunch of old dudes and dead people?” Sun Ce looked at Da Qiao as though she was mad.

“No, I wouldn’t think so,” Da Qiao bristled. “But if you don’t get your act together, I will divorce you before you get me implicated. I mean it!”

“Okay okay, keep your hair on! I’ll go for the meeting!” Sun Ce ran as fast as he could away from an angry Da Qiao who was smacking him with her fan at every available opportunity.

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