Depression is a drug

Depression is a drug. First it gets you hooked and then you can’t stop. You can’t feel happy, and every time you start to you have to read something depressing or listen to sad music, or dwell on depressing things. It’s just the facts of life.

Lily walked down the street with her head in a book, and her headphones in.

“When she got to the hospital there wasn’t much left, he was running out of road, he was running out of breath,” sang her song. Lily grimaced at how well that went with her book.

“’Don’t you dare leave me! You can’t leave me!’ Her tears fell onto his hand. ‘It’s okay, I’ll always love you, even in death.’ Then his lifeless hand fell from her grasp and onto the cold, snowy ground.” Lily paused her music and closed her book. She had hit the coffee shop. She stepped into the warm aromatic shop and walked up to the counter.

“The usual, Lily?” the older woman behind the counter asked.

“Yes please.” The woman handed across her drip coffee. Lily sat down at her usual table and started to reach for her book.

Lily, you’re falling into the old self destructive patterns. Stop. She mentally chided herself. She knew what she was doing, but she couldn’t stop. She couldn’t read anything happy. It just wouldn’t stick. Lily put her head down on the table. It was no use. Not until her drug was back in her life would she be normal.

James lay on his back, staring at his ceiling. Black. That’s the colour of his ceiling. Black as his own spirits. Hey. Spirits. There was an idea. James got up off his floor and walked downstairs. His parents were shopping and Sirius was sleeping. He tiptoed to the liquor cabinet. Firewhisky. Brilliant. He took the bottle back to his floor. He lay back down and contemplated the ceiling some more. Yes, James Potter, head of the marauders, was suffering from depression.

It gets better around people I like though, he reasoned with himself. But Lily makes it go away. Just her voice makes it disappear.

Lily Evans was essentially James’s anti depressant. For whatever reason she made him feel alive inside. He just wished she felt the same.