“I can’t believe you…”

I looked beside me where Naruto was sitting, a deep frown on his face. He had a condescending expression on and from the look in his eyes I knew damn well that he was without doubt judging me for what just happened. And Naruto was most definitely not one to judge. Naruto was the nicest person ever! He didn’t judge people at all… He was so kind and accepting and understanding and not judging! But he was. He was judging me.

Judging me…

“What the hell, Ino?”

And definitely judging my big mouth…

“What was that?!”

It was never really my fault.

Or well, not entirely my fault, I guess.

But that one time – at that very moment, as I watched my best friend stare at the engagement ring she held between her fingers with unshed tears in her eyes and a look of unadulterated regret on her face, I did wish I had a better hold on my mouth.

Damn. I’m an ass.

…

…

Queen of Babble
by: ohwhatsherface

Chapter 1: shut the fuck up!

…

…

I was the Maid of Honour, so even if it was just the rehearsal dinner and the only people that were there, were the wedding party and Sasuke and Sakura’s families, I still thought it’d be necessary to provide something of speech to show my happiness for them.

I also apparently thought it’d be necessary to say ‘yes’ when the waiter asked ‘would you like more wine?’.

That, I believe, is the cause of the problems.

Alcohol.

And perhaps, my lack of control over my mouth – which isn’t quite my fault. I mean, controlling one’s mouth is often a difficult task whether it’s over talking or eating or drinking or whatever one’s oral issue just so happens to be.

It’s hard!

“Excuse me, excuse me!” I called out a bit too loudly, standing up and tapping my wine glass with my fork.

I stopped after a few pats and put the fork back on the table before looking at Sasuke and Sakura who sat beside each other on one side of the table. I smiled at them brightly and on the inside, couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous of Sakura for scoring a husband before me.

Or well, fiancé, in all technicalities.

They’re not married yet.

“I would like to make a toast,” I declared.

In my mind, I went over the speech I was planning on using that weekend at the wedding. I was going to talk about mine and Sakura’s friendship – how the girl managed to put up with me for the past twenty-two years – and about how I just knew she and Sasuke were meant to be together despite how long it took for him to realize it, and all of Sakura’s blunders.

“I’ve known Sakura since we were three-years-old and playing in the sandbox, back in daycare,” I began, a nostalgic smile forming on my face.

I put the glass down and began to wobble slightly from standing too long with the stilettos I wore that night. Usually, I was perfectly okay with a pair of them on, but with the amount of alcohol I had consumed, the wobbling was bound to happen. As I steadied myself against the table, I looked around and spotted Sasuke’s older brother, Itachi.

Oh, was he one beautiful piece of man meat.

“When we were in high school and Sakura began doing better than normal in all the classes she shared with Sasuke, I knew that she definitely had a crush on him…”

As I continued, Sakura began to blush and Sasuke smirked in amusement. He turned his attention away from my speech to look down at her with real love in his eyes and kissed her on the forehead since no one was watching.

Except me, of course.

“Sure, it took him like, I dunno, five years – not until we were in university – to figure it out, but he prevailed.”

There was a bit of a slur in my voice but no one seemed to notice. They were to busy cooing at the happy couple or laughing at my unintentional jokes about Sasuke and his aloofness.

“But right, I so knew that they’d end up together,” I repeated. I chuckled lowly at a memory that I decided to work with in my speech. “I knew that they’d overcome anything as long as they had each other, and that they’d forgive each other for anything…” I waggled my eyebrows and snickered, “and go straight to the makeup sex.”

Sakura cleared her throat awkwardly and faked a smile to me.

“Alright, Ino,” she said in a happy tone. “I think that’s enough—”

“No, but it isn’t!” I all but yelled. I laughed lightly and went on with my makeshift speech. “Sakura, you and Sasuke must have a pretty amazing relationship for him to forgive for all your little mess-ups and vice versa.”

Her smile looked even more strained as she pretended to sound confused. “What mess-ups, Ino? There are no mess-ups!”

“Tch, yeah right!” I cackled. “Remember that party Naruto had at Sasuke’s house, first year of university during Christmas break?”

“Ino, stop—”

“You totally slept with his brother!”

…

…

I was the Maid of Honour because the bride usually appoints her best friend – or sometimes, sister – to the role. As said best friend, Sakura and I often hung out together.

In all my time knowing Sasuke Uchiha, I have only seen him with four real expressions: 1) his annoyed-get-the-hell-out-of-my-way expression, usually directed at Naruto, his brother or anyone particularly irritating, 2) his I’m-gonna-show-your-affection-since-you’re-not-looking-this-way expression which was only directed to Sakura but I managed to see it a few times – although, once he saw me looking, he’d give me his death glare and scoff, 3) his jealous-I-alpha-male-stay-away-from-my-bitch expression, directed to males who were stupid enough to hit on my darling best friend, and lastly, 4) his absolutely-positively-fucking-livid expression, which frankly, I think speaks for its self.

As the room went silent and Sakura and Itachi met eyes awkwardly, sadly, regretfully, Sasuke immediately put on a number four.

Obviously, my first instinct was to duck for cover.

“You what?” he hissed.

His angry tone was quite a sober-upper.

I didn’t know who he was talking to, exactly. Was it Sakura? Or was it Itachi, instead – because really, both kind of were in it together.

What I did know was that number four was slowly developing into something I would now classify as 5) his possibly-psychopathic-slash-homicidal expression, which obviously was directed at either Sakura or Itachi or both, and which also scared the shit out of me.

His head was bowed slightly so his dark bangs were covering his eyes in an almost creepy way. If I hadn’t been standing at the end of the table, away from the possibly homicidal Uchiha, then I would probably have been cowering away.

“I—I…” Sakura’s lips were trembling and her eyes were slowly beginning to water.

Sakura was different from her fiancé. She was expressive and had a whole lot more than four – or well, now five – expressions.

Right now, she was building up a number twenty-three, her guilt-ridden-oh-God-I-am-such-an-ass expression that usually made one feel guilty for simply making her feel guilty.

But obviously, Sasuke would have nothing of it.

“You slept with Itachi?” he asked Sakura incredulously. He was trying to whisper for the sake of having some privacy between them but the room was silent. These people – me included, of course… sigh… – were shameless! Everyone wanted to get in on their drama, I guess. “You slept with my brother?”

A chair moved and I watched as Itachi stood up. He was a few seats away from Sasuke, wearing a remorseful mask as he put a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder which the younger brother immediately pushed away – and if I didn’t know better, I think Itachi had flinched a little.

“I—it was a long time ago,” Sakura explained, staring at her lap.

From her shoulders, I could tell her arms were tense and her hands were clenched at the hem of her cute cocktail dress. Sure, I couldn’t see said hands but I know Sakura. Right now, she was working a number seventeen, her I’m-sorry-please-don’t-hate-me expression, plus its default position.

She finally looked up and I saw her green eyes were glassy.

“We weren’t even together, yet!” Sakura defended. “I… Sasuke, it didn’t mean anything!”

But it didn’t matter.

None of that mattered.

Itachi was Sasuke’s brother and Sakura slept with him – albeit drunkenly – about two weeks before they finally got together and he was not happy about that.

“Shut up,” Sasuke ground out through clenched teeth, as Sakura continued to babble incoherently and Itachi watched on, struggling to find the right thing to say. With his final words said, Sasuke pushed out of his seat and walked out of the hall.

Sakura immediately stood up and followed after him outside.

Itachi cursed under his breath and clenched his hand around the cloth napkin on the table.

And I—

“Can I get some wine please?!”

…

…

I think reached the lowest level of jerk that night.

Damn.

Sakura slowly walked back to the dinner tables where people were awkwardly touching at their meals and making small talk with each other. It was obvious they all just wanted to see the outcome of their lovers spat, those nosy jerks.

I was definitely sober now.

Her eyes were narrowed at nothing in particular and she dropped back into the seat she was in earlier, ignoring the fact that Itachi was beside her. She brought the glass to her lips and drained the chardonnay in one shot.

Oh boy.

She met my eyes briefly and I couldn’t help but swallow guiltily. She looked away soon after, scoffing at me while pulling off the ring that had been on her finger and holding it in her palm. Sakura stared at it intently, probably hoping for something good to happen.

I finished off my own wine, unable to enjoy its unique taste with the bitter guilt of the words I said still lingering in my mouth.

“I can’t believe you…”

I turned my head and to where Naruto was sitting. Beside me, he wore a pained grimace, probably concentrating on whom to side with in this situation because Sasuke and Sakura were both of his best friends and now Sasuke probably hated her. When he met my eyes, there was a condescending look in them that I knew I deserved.

I also knew he was judging me for what just happened.

Naruto was most definitely not one to judge. He never judged anyone, no matter their actions – he had a freaking Jesus-complex for God’s sake! Naruto was the nicest person ever! He didn’t just people at all… He was so kind and accepting and understanding and not judging! But he was.

He was judging me.

“What the hell, Ino?”

And he was definitely judging my big mouth, too.

“What was that?!”

I looked away from him and over to Sakura. She looked positively miserable and number twenty-nine – her wow-can-things-possibly-get-any-worse expression – was slowly developing, and um, from the number of empty glasses on the table, so was an incoming hangover.

She stared at her engagement ring longingly and I looked away because it hurt to know that this was my fault.

Ugh.

What was that expression? The one that was like, made for me – oh. Right.

Open mouth. Insert foot.

Seriously.

With a sigh, I muttered to myself, “Nice going, Ino,” and downed the rest of my nth drink.

…

TBC

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…

EDIT: You know what? I'm not sure what pairing this is yet, actually.