Lost Requiem

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Prologue

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This was it. This was what I had come here for.

Just do it.

I couldn’t.

My heart was hammering inside my chest. I was scared. Frightened out of my wits. Gerudo women weren’t supposed to be like this. But, I was. Did that mean that I wasn’t Gerudo? Just because I couldn’t kill him. I was so close, though. I could see the way his chest rose and fell, rhythmically. A soft, melodious cadence all on its own. It soothed. Wasn’t music supposed to rest a person’s mind and soul? How could I stop that? He was my life’s song. How could I get rid of him, now?

To see that ocean blue of his eyes disappear. To see that lively skin pale. His golden hair to reduce to nothing...

My chest ached. The hilt of the dagger in my hand prickled with feeling- or none at all. It was the same one I had stabbed the man with back in town, and I was using it, again. He had pulled it from the man’s chest. He knew who he was searching for. To let him live? Was it an option? I hadn’t been given an option. Nothing had seemed to have been an option. It had just happened.

This was completely different. This was…this was freedom… I closed my eyes. To the moon, to the stars, to the world…

All I had was to hear.

The rider galloping across the plains, the wind whispering past his ears, the grass chanting at the mare’s hooves.

Which way should I go? Which road should I take?

And then, they told me to do one thing, one simple nothing that required a halt to everything else...

They told me to listen.

So. I did.

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Chapter 1: Inescapable Doubt

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The night was hot, too hot for summer, even. And it wasn't even summer. This was why I preferred the desert. There was no horrid stench of rotting garbage, or of wet dogs splashing in dirty fountains, or of chickens clucking in annoyance every now and then. Where were the chickens, anyway? I didn't see them. Yet, through all this, the Hyrulian townspeople dared to leave their windows open to the night sky- more so, the odor. Reeking. But, at least, there was me. A thief. To be exact. All right, so I wasn’t just a thief. I was sort of- well, a red-haired, dark-skinned thief. Nothing I’m very proud if. I’m not even here to steal anything…of value- or, more so, of too much importance. Actually, it was he that would do the stealing. The one I was looking for. I wasn’t sure what he looked like, but he had to have light hair- and dark eyes. In case his genes were to show.

My mother would kill me if she found out he had blue eyes. He needed to have black ones- maybe dark green. Green was a pretty color- not as disastrous as blue. They wanted options, after all…

My hands were shaking, now, almost so much I wouldn’t be able to hold my dagger properly. In this slick humidity, I couldn’t even control my nerves. My nerves. Mother always told me it was suicide to be nervous or frightened. Gerudo were never frightened. I couldn’t be frightened.

The wall was solid behind me, and I leaned against the clay exterior, pushing my bare shoulders so far I feared it would give way. No. No fear. I wasn’t afraid. And, and if in any case that I was, the stars would guide me.

Nayru’s Soul and Din’s Heart and Farore’s Bow… They twinkled, urging me forward. I glared at them.

How could they?

I felt so disgusted by myself, searching each and every window- as if beyond each dark abyss led into someone’s very soul…

Which should I choose? Which man’s life should I ruin?

There was that one…A red flag- crisp and new, hanging stiffly straight over the windowsill- no marks, no attachments. I could glide in swiftly without any extra precautions, no looking over my shoulder, no hesitations, no worries...

New one, I thought.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted an experienced one, yet. I would have to worry; I would have to take precautions, and it would certainly have to be quick. I wasn’t sure if that was what I wanted. But, then again, new ones would be the ones to be frightened and anxious. How would I deal with him? How could I calm him down while I was fighting my better judgments?

I glided past this alleyway, hiding amongst the shadows where the moonlight couldn’t penetrate. Rats scurried behind my feet, tickling the back of my ankles. I kicked them away, shooing the cats, too, that meowed for some type of edible food in the overflowing trash bins.

Across, below a clay roof and above a beaten old door was a small, wood-framed windowsill. A torn red flag was pinned to the shutter- probably from being ripped on and off…

Old…experienced. Rude and ready and waiting…

I shuddered, and took a step forward. Quick and fast. Just get it over with. My mother would be pleased at my brevity and braveness. She always said Gerudo women must be strong and fierce. We cannot fear anything, feel anything. Nothing but the sun on our backs, our eyes on the goal, and our hearts with the King…

If Mother knew what I thought of our precious King, she’d have me whipped and thrown to the dogs.

That’s why I was doing this... I had to prove to her and to the others that I wasn’t weak and pathetic. If I had a Gerudo child, they would praise me. At eighteen, what else was there? For a Gerudo, anyway. It was different out here. Women had more to their lives than this. They could become more, be more.

What would I have? Some fighting skills and a child that I would never see again until she was old enough to brave the Sea of Sand?

“What are you waiting for?” Gruff. Drunk. His voice could cause a million women to flee. His beady eyes were staring at me through the window, with his slick, oily skin glowing a sickly, yellow pallor from the glowing candle in his meaty hand.

I leaned into the opposite wall, heart hammering inside my chest. Be brave, be brave, be brave… It wasn’t working, and I sank farther into the grime that I was.

“Don’t be stupid, wench!” He whispered hoarsely, leaning out the window and revealing the ragged clothing draped over his chest.

I swallowed the bile rising in my throat. My mother’s words were fading away, now. What did it matter if she had told me they didn’t control me? What could she do, now? She wasn’t here. She hadn’t even held my hand before I had gone- like she had the first time I had met her before I had to cross the Sea of Sand. She didn’t kiss my forehead- some foreign woman back then that had me shaking with fear.

Why had they pushed me into the wild? Why hadn’t they helped me when I had become lost- when my lantern ran out of oil and my hook shot jammed? I felt as if I was there, again, with the spirits of my ancestors haunting me, calling me weak and worthless…

Where was my horse, I wondered. Where was his calming neigh, and his soft coat…?

Outside, waiting. I could hear the beating of his hoofs, the clank of his silvery armor…

I looked up, eyes wide, to face the stranger. His beady eyes didn’t face me, but, instead, were locked somewhere down the alley. For a moment, I thought of running that way- maybe I had gone and I couldn’t remember. Mind separating from body? But I could still feel the sultry wall clinging to my skin- as if I was apart of it, now, and I could still hear the beating upon the ground.

It wasn’t my horse, after all; it was a soldier. He had heard me- or the grungy man in the window. If he caught me, I would be an embarrassment to my society, and banned from Hyrule Castle Town. I couldn’t live with that; it was- it was humiliating.

The man snatched the red scarf from his window, ripping it further, then waved to me with furious gestures. I stood there, cowering. My eyes shifted from him to the dark alleyway, and then back.

“Hurry!” He then whispered, eyebrows furrowed together.

Ignoring the flips of my stomach, and the horrible taste in my mouth, and the quivering of my legs, I climbed up to his window. Using the empty crates near the door and crevices in the brick, I was able to grasp the edge of the windowsill. Dust played on my fingertips, then glided down to spot my forehead and eyes. I shut them, shaking my head, hoping to somehow wipe away the stinging pain. Before I could do anything of the sort, a large hand took hold of the back of my blouse and yanked. My head banged against the wooden sill, then nearly choked me. This man had no proper bearings, whatsoever, but he was able to pull me through the window, nearly pulling my hair out and tearing my blouse in the process.

Dizzily, I now sank to the floor, grabbing my head for some sort of leverage. Any I regained in those first few seconds were shattered to pieces when the shutters slammed shut, cutting short any sound and light that had filtered graciously through. I couldn’t see the stars anymore, or hear the clanking of the soldier outside. The world wasn’t there for me, anymore. It didn’t spin uncontrollably like I wished it to. Everything was still here, sure and firm and real- yet unutterably unrecognizable.

I didn’t like it. I was trapped. With a hand clamping over my wrist like a manacle drenched in lard and alcohol.

Sickeningly, with this stench in mind, and the rough caress of a hand on my cheek, my man greeted, “Welcome to my home, sweetie…”

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AU: Very sorry for the unoriginal title. But it has a meaning. Please leave a review and stay posted :)