Disclaimer: I do not own Northern Exposure.

Dear Maggie,

There was a time I loved you. I LOVED you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. The rest of forever with you. You were special, you were different. You were always on my mind, always in my heart. I wanted to marry you. I would have if you had let me. I was obsessed. You made me feel so invigorated, so alive.

But now it's done. It hurt for a while. Hurt more than you can imagine. Hurt like it hurt when I lost my fiancée, when... well... you remember.

And here I am now. Here, living where you'd never expect me to even step foot. And I'm so happy that it makes me want to cry. Makes me notice things like mushrooms. Makes me profoundly calm. I think you saw that when you came to visit me. I hope I didn't scare you too much.

Maggie, I did love you. I swear that I did. And had we married, I always WOULD have loved you.

But now, when I'm so far away, I have become who I was truly meant to be.

And it's like I never knew you.

-Joel