|The Spontanious Interview of Doom
Author: The Danvers Girls PM
Welcome wizards, witches, ghouls and psychos - to the most insane interview ever witnessed, supervised by Ally and Sammi! Will the residents of Hogwarts stay sane in throughout? Find out inside!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,249 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 07-11-08 - Published: 07-08-08 - id: 4379908
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Ok so here is the updated version... big thanks to Kumiko 1906 for helping think of a better format.
Now for the legal stuff... Disclaimer: Please note we dont own Harry Potter nor will I (Ally) ever own Draco malfoy cue crying... this is purely for entertainment values.
Ok Ally here...
Now imagine the chaos that would ensure if a fan fiction writer actually went to Hogwarts ... evil laugh ... this is where I come in and have a lot of fun. I will interview the unsuspecting students of Hogwarts and bring you the results, plus some Professors and some grown-ups.
So basically I am the main character along with the Harry Potter characters... unless I can get Sam to transfer to Hogwarts... I need to owl her don't I?
For the purpose of these interviews I am known as ALLY ESS and I am in my fifth year at Hogwarts. Muggle born obviously. Gryffindor – bet you didn't see that coming... Useless piece of information I know but hey it is fun. D
Oh and during the interview I will refer to myself in third person.
I have a hit list for this:
People we'll see round Hogwarts:
Draco Malfoy (Ally)
Fred and George Weasley
...and the odd random witch or wizard!
Special cases that will take special 'arrangements':
The Marauders (time turner – I'm looking for a spell)
Molly Weasley (sneaking out of school grounds)
Professor Lupin (sneaking out of school)
Lucius Malfoy (the special arrangements is making sure we don't get killed)
Lily Evans (time turner or spell – still rooting for a spell)
Voldermort (depends how safe we feel at the time)
Ally - POV
Ok, the corridors are pretty empty today, then again I did bunk History of Magic. For two reasons:
Professor Binns is a ghost that puts you to sleep with the sound of his voice.
History of Magic is with the Slytherins today... Need I say more?
I can practically hear the snoring coming from inside the classroom. I will have to go outside though... these walls have ears... literally. Nosey rotten portraits!
I turn the corner and bump into another bunking student... take a guess... no it isn't Hermione. She would never bunk class, well if it was Divination...
No, unfortunately (just my luck!), it is the one and only Ferret Boy - aka Draco Malfoy.
"Watch it Mudblood!" Bellows Ferret Boy.
"Sorry Ferret Boy." I say trying not to laugh.
I just have to snigger as he scowls beyond the physical possibility for scowling.
"I have a name, Mudblood." He hisses.
He wants equality? After calling me a Mudblood... he is kidding right? I mean like I would ever call him by his name...
"Malfoy, I know I am short but picking on my height it just isn't very nice. And low even for a Slytherin." I says with a smirk, I don't usually smirk but this is kinda fun.
Then again I was always a push over. Insulting my height! I know I am a shortish female with long light brown hair but it is not nice to poke fun. Tut-tut.
"Now who is making insults about heights Ess?" Fer-Malfoy says.
He raises an eyebrow. I bet he is thinking... she is one crazy Mudblood. She should be bowing down and kissing my shoes then wiping away her Mudblood germs. I know, I know: my mind works in crazy and mysterious ways...
"What do you think Mudblood?" Malfoy says.
Did he say something? I cringe and look round at him a confused look on my face. The portraits along this corridor are staring at me as if I was stupid. Especially that one there of Salazar Slytherin, typical that he watches Malfoy like he is a god or something close to resembling that.
"Um very good." I say extra cautious.
Malfoy smirks... oh no... This can't be good.
"Where you listening to me Mudblood?" Malfoy frowns.
"Erm yeah..." I say but really its erm no.
"What did I say?" Malfoy asks with a smirk.
"All Mudbloods should show you respect as you're a pureblood blah, blah, blah." I say watching for his reaction.
He looks shocked... maybe it's because I used the term Mudblood...
"I knew you couldn't resist me Ess, you have memorised my speeches he smirks but no that isn't what I said. Then again it was inevitable a Mudblood falling for a pureblood of power and wealth."He says in a cocky arrogant voice.
"Something funny Ess?" says Malfoy.
Right he is really starting to bug me... like I am him... time to get this interview started! What you will now see is what is written on the notepad that is following me around.
Ally: Never mind... so what did you say?
Malfoy: Just asking if you found Binns class too boring to go to as well.
Is Malfoy making conversation? Pinch me I am dreaming... just not too hard. I bruise like a peach.
Ow! I told you not to pinch me too hard!
Ally: Besides other things... yes.
Malfoy: What other things?
Ally: We're in with your House, you know... the Slytherins.
Malfoy just smirks yet again.
Ally: Well since you are not in class and I am not in class, I was wondering.
Malfoy: I don't date Mudbloods!
YUK! I can't believe he is even suggesting... yuk! Ok so he has some good looks... ok a lot of good looks. That doesn't many I am going to be like Pansy Parkinson. Malfoy is an ass and I wouldn't date anyone that calls me Mudblood.
Ally: What you are suggesting is morally wrong on so many levels... for me!
Malfoy: You would be lucky to get someone like me you insolent little Mudblood!
Ally: Coming from the death eater known as Ferret Boy!
He looks hot when he is angry... hell what am I thinking? Why the hell am I babbling?
Malfoy: What was it you were going to ask then?
Ally: Let's just say it is a... project. I need to interview a few people...
Malfoy: Why haven't I notice that pad following you and writing?
Ally: Don't worry it is only writing my thoughts...
As if! It has been writing the whole conversation so far.
Malfoy: And you want to interview me?
Not really the most powerful wand in shop is he? Or the sharpest tool in the shed. I have told him this already.
Malfoy: Yes or no Ess?
Ally: What part or since you're not in class and I am not in class did you not understand?
Malfoy: The part where I had to spend time with a Mudblood.
This guy is really pushing my buttons... and not in a good way.
Malfoy: Fine Ess you may have ten minutes of my time.
We make our way out to the lake to have the interview there because we were getting dirty looks of the portraits.
Ally: What is your opinion on blood purity? And I want your most honest answer.
Malfoy: It doesn't bother me too much unless the Mudblood hangs around with Potter and Weaselbee. Though, pure bloods are superior.
Ally: Good luck explaining that to anyone other than me... they will rip your head off. Ok next question...
Malfoy: Do I get to ask questions?
I raise my eyebrow. This interview is so not going how I planned.
Malfoy: Why do you talk to Potter, Weaselbee and the Mudblood?
Ally: Hello... I am a Mudblood!
I wave my hand in front of his face.
Ally: My question now... what do you think of fan fiction?
Malfoy: It's ok; I have read some good stories on that. The pairings can be a little weird or totally out of the question sometimes but the stories are great.
Ally: Cool so Malfoy, are the Slytherins in with Gryffindor next lesson for Defence against the Dark Arts with Umbridge?
Malfoy: Yeah, great woman that one.
Ally: You fancy her?
Malfoy: EW! NO! I would rather date a Mudblood.
I raise my eyebrow. Was that meant as an insult or a compliment?
Ally: Well Malfoy, you have been sucking up to her lots lately... and please don't insult me again.
Malfoy: It is called extra credit... she does work for the Ministry. And Ally I wasn't insulting you... please call me Draco.
I stop walking. Did he just call me by my first name? Draco Malfoy just called me by my first name and wants me to call him by his. I feel like I am going to faint! Where is a camcorder when you need one? Damn I forgot muggle electrics don't work near magic... damn!
Ally: B...b...but I am a muggleborn, why would you want me to be on first name terms with you?
Malfoy just smirks.
Ally: Seriously, Malfoy, I want an explanation. Now.
Malfoy: Well maybe not all Mudbloods are that bad. Maybe if you knew what it was like to hang around with someone who is actually of high ranking you may realise your mistake in talking to Potter, Weaselbee and Granger. And didn't I tell you to call me Draco?
Ally: What do you mean 'hang around with someone of high ranking?' I seriously hope you don't mean yourself... I would rather kiss a grindylow.
Malfoy: Well I can organise that then you can hang around with me.
Ally: Get real, Draco!
Malfoy smirks his trade mark smirk.
Malfoy: Took you long enough...
Ally: ... Eh?
Draco: You called me Draco.
Ally: Oops. It was unintentional... speaking of which, why do you want me to call you Draco?
Draco: Hm, good question, Ally... because it sounds so nice coming from your lips.
The bell rings for end of lesson before I can answer. I gladly take this as an end of interview sign and run up into the school. Up the moving staircases and into Defence against the Dark Arts and take my seat next Neville. Draco sits across the aisle smirking in my direction every so often... not that I don't enjoy it. I am in for the longest hour of my entire life.
Read and Review please!!
A/N: Please note this is the edited version of chapter 1