My attempt at comedy: “Dying is easy, Comedy is hard.” Anyways, I was reading my other fics, and they are all so dark so yeah, I'm gonna try comedy.

Disclaimer: I’m stealing a few lines from movies. And I realize suddenly that someone else wrote this idea before… But I can’t find anything else to write so that sucks. Haha. And if you don’t like swearing I do that too.

The day it all began, began like any other day. Rachel was waking up, and was suffering from a bad case of PMS, or so she says. But PMS doesn’t happen every morning. No. She’s just being a morning bitch. The rest of the clowns who I call my friends were filing in, lining up to receive their catered meals that I only dish out because… well. I enjoy cooking. It was that day that Joey decided to reveal to us his master plan. I’m still wondering what my kitchen had done to deserve this. I remember watching in horror as four mouths spat out their contents, spilling their disgusting crap all over my table.

“You know what we should all do?” He’d enthusiastically asked.

“Not really.” Rachel had replied, compliant with her mourning demeanor.

“We should all go to Disneyworld!”

“Haha… NO!” came from Chandler.

“Haha. That sucks.” Shot back Joey.

“Good comeback.”

“No I already go tickets so…”

And that’s how I ended up here: the happiest place in the world. I wish that Mickey Mouse would just fuck itself and die.

The plane ride here had been the dumbest thing EVER! I mean, Rachel was pissed off at being dragged, and I quote, “half way across the world for some stupid magic shit.” So she spent half the time next to Joey arguing, as if that could turn the plane around. And me, stuck in the window seat next to them, first resorted to eavesdropping, but that didn’t work because the first conversation I heard sounded something like this:

“I’m having a little trouble concentrating.”

“Oh. Well I could sell you some of my Adderall if you want.”

“No thanks, I’m off pills.”

“That’s a wise choice, because I knew this girl who like had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothers, and dove into the fountain at the Ridgedale Mall and was like, ‘Blah, I am a Kracken from the sea!”

“I heard that was you.”

That obviously was not the best choice. So then I was just sitting on the plane, imagining ways to kill off both Joey and Rachel; whose fight had gotten only louder as the time passed; most of them involving cannon, or some sort of launching device. When that got boring I tried to listen to their fight, which is officially the most depressing thing I ever heard. Having long ago lost track of their initial argument, they were just fighting over... well here’s exactly their words:

“I’m telling you! It’s pear!”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“My friend said he invested in pear! And I think I should go in on that.”

“It’s not pear! It’s apple! I told you.”

“No!”

“Are you sure it wasn’t pearsss?”

“No! He invested in pear!”

“Like…”

“A pear!”

“Oh. It must be very talented.”

“That it is.”

Well. After going through several hours of this, we finally arrived in sunny, sunny Florida. Only it was too fucking sunny that I think I’m going to melt. Oh, and seeing how Joey told us, he’d already packed for all of us, I hadn’t brought anything. So now our wardrobes all contain matching Mickey Mouse t-shirts and khaki pants. And since he wouldn’t allow us to bring our purses, somehow we each ended up with a Disney World fanny pack, and a hat with goofy ears flopping out of it. The sign above us asks, do you believe in magic? Yes. Yes I do. I believe in fucking BLACK MAGIC!