You know how nights like this begin

The kind of knot your heart gets in

Any way you turn is going to hurt

(Blue Alert)

It was a warm afternoon, but ladened with dark bellows of clouds, covering the high school and all of its numerous trees and activity fields. A stormy sort of day that seemed out of place in late August. Sirius blamed the Monsoon rains, and he was a bit worried as he looked up at the sky, wondering if this was the day that he'd have to fish his car out of flash flood waters.

He leaned against one of the entrance doors, annoyed at having to wait for the new staff member outside. Why couldn't we have met in the teacher's lounge, or better yet, my room, he pondered, his hand patting down the pocket of his jeans reflexively. He really needed a cigarette right now. I have so much work to still do – all those papers that woman left for me. You'd think a teacher with a twenty-five year career would've been more organized.

Looking down at his wristwatch, he sighed as he realized the man was fifteen minutes late. This was not a good sign, to say the least. He had nothing to do with whom they chose to fill the position, and the new man wouldn't even be apart of his department, but for some ungodly reason, Sirius had volunteered himself to show the new teacher around Hogwarts High School. It was turning out to be quite the nuisance.

He repositioned himself against the door, feeling light sweat drip down his back, the t-shirt he wore salvaged from his college years. He felt that tingling sensation that signaled the beginning of a sunburn – the clouds deceiving as they appeared to protect from the sizzling sun. The air was thick with perspiration, pressing into his clothes and dampening his neck and under his arms. He was glad he wore deodorant – he feared people would notice his sweating.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the crinkled paper he had the man's information written on.

Remus Lupin. From Central High School, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. American and British Literature.

He hummed in the back of his throat, not hiding the amused expression that surfaced once he recognized the name. Remus – like Remus and Romulus. God, his parents must have been hippies – or worst, history nerds. What a name – hopefully none of his future students would ever find out.

Sighing once more, he pulled out his cellphone and dialed the number that was on the paper. He fingered the back of his hair as it rang. He really needed to see his barber before school began.

Lupin picked up on the third ring. "Hello?" His voice was husky, but still kind in tone. He obviously knew how to be respectful.

"Yes, Mr. Lupin? This is Sirius Black – I'm waiting outside the front building for you."

There was a moment of hesitation. "Oh! I'm so sorry, Sirius. I've already let myself into my room."

Sirius was puzzled. "How did you get the keys?"

"Argus – the janitor, I suppose."

He couldn't help the small resentment that crept into his voice. "Do you still want the tour?"

"That would be great. Again, I'm sorry."

Rolling his eyes, he responded, "Right, I'll be there in a few." Bastard. He snapped his phone shut, pushing it back into his pocket.

The door was open once he arrived at Lupin's classroom, but he hesitated at the entrance, feeling slightly unsure of himself. He leaned into the room, feet still planted in the hallway, his knock against the wooden door firm.

"Oh, hello," came a voice from behind the desk, a man suddenly emerging from the numerous piles of paper. It seemed he had been crouching on the floor.

Sirius swallowed thickly. "Hi, I'm Sirius." He flinched mentally as he shook the other man's hand. Of course he would already know that.

The man had a strange face – a worn face, but not exactly ugly. Quite the opposite, actually. Tiny little white scars added to the old cuts and scratches that were engraved into his skin, across his nose and under his eyes. Gray streaked the darkened blond hair, which fell over the man's brown (or were they gray?) eyes. His smile was warm, welcoming – it made Sirius feel better almost immediately.

"I'm Remus." They released hands and stepped back. Sirius straightened up, realizing with a sudden shock that he had been leaning forward. How embarrassing.

Sirius gave him a tight smile. "What do you think so far?"

"Well, I haven't seen much, but my room is bigger than the one I had before. Love the windows, Central had little eye-holes for the natural light and air to come in. It got quite stuffy, you can imagine." Remus dug his hands into the pockets of his worn jeans. "How do you like Hogwarts?"

Sirius nodded as he inspected Remus' threadbare t-shirt, the material thin enough that the outline of the man's chest showed through. It made Sirius shift, his eyes quickly darting down to Remus' sandal-clad feet. He wore thick blue socks as well, and Sirius tried desperately to hide his amusement.

Remus laughed at his expression, wiggling his toes in exaggeration. "I have to wear socks – my feet get really cold."

"In August?" Sirius snapped his mouth shut once he heard the tone of his voice. He was supposed to be the professional now; it wasn't right for him to ridicule Remus for what he wore on his feet. Swallowing quickly, Sirius gave him another quick smile before responding, "How do I like Hogwarts? Well, it's the only school I've taught at, but it seems good enough. I mean, the students can be mindless teenagers sometimes, but they work hard. We don't have too much trouble, you know."

"Oh," Remus said, nodding his head, "I know. One of the reasons why I had to leave Central – all the school violence was not good for my health."

Sirius thought he was joking. He laughed, but quickly regretted it once he saw Remus' serious expression. "I'm sorry," he said quite awkwardly, "I thought you were joking."

Remus smiled down at the ground, his hands still in his pockets. He lifted his heels as he leaned forward on his toes, seemingly stretching his legs. "Don't be embarrassed, I'm always for a good laugh. But you do need to know -- as well as the rest of the staff – I can be sick often." Remus paused as he appeared to measure Sirius' response. "Don't worry, though, I always keep up with my work."

Nodding, Sirius turned slightly to the door and pointed at it with his thumb. "So, how about that tour?"

XXX

"How is your first day coming along?" Sirius asked, leaning against the door frame. For some odd reason, he had felt the urge to check up on Remus during their prep hour. He thought it would be awkward, showing up like this, but Remus' welcoming smile made all of his doubts disappear.

"Great, actually. They like to chatter, though. But I don't think that will be a problem." He sat on the edge of his desk as he said this, one leg hanging over. He wore fitted brown trousers and a blue collared shirt that didn't go with the nice pants. His shoes were well-shined, if not a bit worn, and Sirius spotted the same burly socks poking out. There was a moment of heavy silence, Remus just staring at him with bright eyes until he looked down at the floor and said, "You can come in, you know."

Sirius felt his face redden with embarrassment, his heart beating quickly within his chest. It was so strange, how he felt himself reacting to this new man. He laughed nervously as he pushed off with his shoulder and moved to lean against a student desk, stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing them at the ankle. He fiddled with the sleeve of his shirt as he said, "I just came to ask if you wanted to join me for a cup of coffee. There's a really great shop down the street – I mean, if you have the time, that is."

"Let me put something in the outgoing mail, and I'll meet you in the front of the school." Remus looked down at his watch. "Are you sure we'll be back in time?"

"Yeah, definitely." Sirius smiled widely at him. "I do it all the time."

"All right," Remus said, sliding off the desk, "you lead the way."

The shop was a bit too crowded for Sirius' liking, but they found a suitable table in the corner, away from the long line. The silence was slightly discomforting as they waited until the line became shorter, though maybe it was just Sirius' own ineptitude when dealing with this new addition to the staff. Sirius was usually very good at getting to know people – but for some reason he just couldn't place himself correctly in situations with Remus. He tried not to think about what exactly prompted him to ask Remus to places, such as to the coffee shop or the teacher's lounge during lunch. Every time the thought of Remus crept into his mind, Sirius felt a blooming warmth inside his chest, crushing the unsteady breath from his lungs.

Remus cleared his throat politely, his fingers tapping softly against the table. "If you don't mind me asking," he began, his voice quiet, forcing Sirius to lean forward, "why did you decide to teach?"

Blinking, Sirius had the urge to shrug his shoulder in response, but he knew Remus deserved a better answer. "I – well, I'm – not quite sure, to be honest. I had always wanted to be an anthropologist when growing up – but that, obviously, didn't work out."

Nodding, Remus glanced down at his moving fingers. There was a small pause. "And – why – I mean, if you don't again mind me asking, why didn't you go into anthropology?"

Sirius felt himself flush. He hoped the dim lighting in the shop would hide it. "I – well, I ran out of money. So, I had to finish school somehow, and I needed a secure way to pay off my student loans. I knew that you could always get a teaching job – and if that wasn't a definite reason to teach, my university had many scholarships for students studying education. So, here I am."

"And now you teach history." There was something strange about his voice – like sadness laced with genuine interest.

"US and World history," Sirius pointed out, trying not to allow Remus' tone get to him. "On that note, what do you want? I'll race up there and get our orders in before anyone else comes in."

"Oh, I'll go with you," Remus answered, moving to stand up. Sirius shook his hand at him. "No, you stay there – it won't take long. My treat, anyway."

A defiant expression flashed within Remus' eyes. "I can't allow you to do that!"

"It's already done," he said, pulling out his wallet from his pocket. "What would you like?"

Remus shook his head. "I can't argue with you, can I?"

"Absolutely not."

Sighing, he said, "I don't know, surprise me. Though next time I'm paying."

Sirius flashed him a wide smile. "Be back."

As he waited in line, he couldn't help but to feel Remus watching him intently, the skin on the back of his neck flaming considerably. Once or twice he turned around to give the man a friendly smile, but his actions always turned into a weak twitch of the lips, his fingers becoming numb as blood rushed through his veins. It made his wallet almost slipped from his hand.

He decided to order Remus something sweet -- a chocolaty, frothy drink that made Sirius' stomach turn just smelling it. He liked his coffee black and smooth, and he didn't think Remus would appreciate his tastes. The cashier smiled warmly at him as he gave her his order.

"So, why did you become a teacher?" Sirius asked, setting Remus' drink in front of him. He moved causally to the other side of the table and sat down, blowing quietly on his coffee before taking a sip.

"Mm, this is delicious," Remus said, "how did you know that I like chocolate?"

Sirius smirked at him. "Who doesn't?"

Remus eyed his coffee. "It seems that you don't. You didn't even put sweetener in."

Shrugging, he answered, "I don't like sweets."

Remus stared at him.

Laughing, Sirius said, "I mean, I like a piece of cake from time to time, but nothing like what you are drinking."

Remus smiled at him – the expression made his whole face light up, the dark circles under his eyes almost disappearing. Sirius felt his stomach clench suddenly.

"So," he said, breaking eye-contact with Remus, "why did you become a teacher?"

"Would it be too cliché if I said that it was because I wanted to make a difference?"

Sirius grinned down at his hands. He took a drink of some of his coffee as he said, "Yeah, sort of. But I do think a lot of teachers go into the field because they want to 'make a difference'. Seen Goodbye, Mr. Chips too many times, I say."

"What? Do you think the sentimentality for teaching is overrated?"

"Sure," Sirius said, though knowing it was a complete lie. Of course he didn't think the sentimentality was overrated. He was a teacher, wasn't he? Of course he wanted to be that old man, respected and glorified, possessing memories of helping young boys become men. He saw it as his way of leaving a mark in history. He didn't have to fight in a war, didn't have to head an assassination plot to kill the President – no, he only had to teach and have the patience to listen to his students, guiding them to a better understanding of life.

"Well," Remus said, pausing to swallow another sip of his coffee, "I do think teaching is taken for granted. Most parents don't understand how hard it can be – they expect us to know how to react in every situation, then they call us and complain if we say something wrong."

Sirius nodded sympathetically. "I know what you mean – sometimes I think robots would be better equipped for the job. Robots could be everything it seems teachers need to be to survive – cold, mindless beings that don't take fault in their inabilities when their students just don't want to listen."

"Exactly. I sometimes stand up there, babbling on about Hawthorne and Auden, wondering if anyone is truly listening. If I'm getting across to the students. Sometimes I can tell in their faces that they understand – sometimes I know they only appear to be awake."

"Dead weight."

Remus nodded, his eyes possessing a strange sort of intensity. "Dead weight."

At that moment Sirius decided his eyes were brown, darkened from the different shadows within the room and within his life. Sirius desperately wanted to know him better – wanted to become as close as realistically possible. Could Remus somehow have the same interest in Sirius? The same desire to see Sirius unravel, with all of his naked emotions on display?

Excitement surged inside Sirius as he asked, "Would you care to join me for a drink tonight?"

Remus looked startled, but quickly recovered as he nodded once more. "Sure – where? What time?"

"Why don't you meet me in my classroom after school."

Remus glanced sheepishly at him. "Are you sure?" A light sheet of color appeared along the apples of his cheeks.

Blinking, Sirius wondered why Remus seemed so anxious about meeting him in his room. Was he afraid that others would see him? He looked down at his coffee, playing with the plastic lid as he said, "We don't – have to, you know. We could just meet at the bar."

"No, no – I'm just being ridiculous. We can meet at your room." Remus gave him an uneasy smile.

XXX

"What sort of pub is it?" Remus asked, one of his hands clutching the handle on the car door.

Sirius side-glanced him, then quickly focused on the street when he saw the expression on Remus' face. He felt his hands tighten around the warm wheel. "It's not a gay bar, if that's what you mean."

"So, you are gay?" He heard Remus suck in a swift breath.

Pausing, Sirius weighted his options on either lying or telling the truth. He decided on the latter. "Yeah – most of the time, anyway."

Remus laughed softly. "Most of the time? So I assume you are bisexual?"

Shrugging with one shoulder, Sirius felt unsure under Remus' overwhelming gaze. It was like being watched by a predator. How ridiculous. "Periodically." He paused as he turned into the parking lot. "What about you?"

"What do you think?"

Sirius stared at him as he turned off the engine, watching as Remus' lips formed a firm line. He wondered if Remus was trying not to frown. "I don't know," he answered finally, dropping his hands to rest on his lap. He took an unsteady breath. "I mean, I don't want to read into things that aren't really there, you know?"

"Of course," Remus said, nodding as his eyes watched Sirius in return.

"Should we go in?" Sirius suggested, trying to hide how uncomfortable he felt. He supposed he was doing a horrific job of it.

Loud jukebox music welcomed them once they stepped into the bar, standing by the door for a moment as Sirius looked for a good place to sit. Not by the bar – he didn't want to be bothered by the giddy bartender tonight and he wanted to actually have a conversation with Remus, instead of just hearing the drunken yells from the pool tables.

"How about there?" Sirius asked, his head nearly pressing into Remus' cheek.

Remus nodded and followed closely behind him. They fitted easily into the small space the table provided.

"No," Remus said confidently, pushing Sirius down by the shoulder once he tried to stand. "It's my turn to buy the drinks."

Sirius felt his skin burn where Remus had touched him. He mused quietly that he'd have to buy thicker shirts. "Fair deal," he said, giving Remus his best lop-sided grin.

"What do you want?"

Watching as Remus pulled out his wallet, Sirius said, "Surprise me." He felt his grin turn into a full smile. He hoped his teeth gleamed.

"I'm not that informed on good beer. I don't want to fuck up your order." Remus smirked at him.

"Fine," Sirius responded, faking exasperation. "Get me a good Guinness, if you don't mind."

"Oh, foreign tastes, I like that." Remus' voice was filled with bemusement.

Sirius snorted. "Then get me a Bud Light, Jesus." He laughed.

"How about a nice Smirnoff, raspberry flavor?" Remus jeered.

"Just go get our drinks, damn you!" They laughed together loudly.

Remus returned after a few minutes with a nice cold Guinness for Sirius, and a small glass of cranberry juice for himself. Sirius eyed him with a skeptical look, raising his eyebrows in a taunting way.

"Really, Remus? Cranberry juice? I thought you were a real man."

Remus glared at him, but rubbed his hand over his mouth, trying to hide his amusement. "I can't drink while I'm on my medication."

Frowning, Sirius asked, "What sort of medication?"

"The usual kind," Remus answered steadily, his voice slightly off in tone, "for pain and all that."

"Oh." He drank some of his beer, tasting the flavor of roasted barley slide down his throat. He smacked his lips loudly, grinning at Remus. "What did you think of Melinda?"

"The bartender?" Remus asked, sipping on his juice through a little red straw. Sirius couldn't stop himself from barking out a laugh. "What?" Remus glared at him.

"Do you really have to use that dumb straw?" he asked, feeling his face redden from the lack of oxygen. He really needed to learn how to control his laughing.

"What do you suppose I do with it?" Remus stared at him, his eyes darkened in a strange way, as he lifted the straw and wrapped his tongue around it, sucking it into his mouth. His mouth suddenly dry, Sirius watched him move the straw in and out of his mouth, lips full and reddened.

Sirius felt a moan surfacing within his throat, and he bit his cheek to stop himself, his eyes watering from not blinking. "I like that," he said softly, his throat constricting around the needed air to speak.

"Do you," Remus whispered, his voice nearly a purr. The tone sent sparks up Sirius' shine, his heart increasing its beat dramatically. He closed his eyes, then swallowed thickly before looking at Remus again through an aroused-haze.

"Not here," he managed to say, his voice strained, "people might see."

They stared at each other for a long moment. Then Remus pulled the straw from his mouth with a slight pop and set it on the napkin beside his drink. "You're right."

Sirius wasn't able to respond immediately, his breathing still erratic. He tried to focus on calming his heart as he took slow, deep breathes. Dammit, who knew Remus could make him react in this way? "You're gay."

Smirking, Remus said, "Yeah. Have a problem with that?"

Sirius stared at him. "Of course not. I think it's quite fortunate, actually."

Remus licked his lips. "Really? And here I thought you'd laugh at me."

Shocked, he asked, "What? Why would you think that?"

"Oh, I don't know – maybe because you're a gorgeous, fit man who wears dirty sneakers and sometimes forgets to comb his hair."

"You noticed that?" Sirius gaped at him. "You think I'm gorgeous?" His cheeks flushed as he looked into Remus' serious expression.

"Of course." He wasn't joking.

"I need a cigarette. Do you want to join me?" Sirius patted his pocket, realizing he forgot the pack in his car.

Remus seemed a bit confused. "Sure," he said hesitantly.

Leaving their drinks on the table, Sirius led the way out of the bar and to his car. He unlocked it by pressing a button on his key chain. As he bent over to reach for the cigarettes, he felt a warm hand snake across the crease of his butt, fingers wrapping around one of the denim-covered cheeks and squeezing. Sirius pushed back against the hand, dropping the forgotten cigarettes to the seat, as he backed out of the car. He turned to grasp Remus' hard shoulders, twisting them both around, and pressed Remus against the car door forcibly.

"Come on," Remus said, his voice husky with arousal, his fingers pulling at Sirius' belt. "Kiss me."

Sirius glanced quickly around the parking lot, looking to see if they were being watched. Though he realized it was empty, he didn't want to take the chance. Maneuvering around Remus, he opened the door to the backseat, and guided the other man to crawl backwards into the car. He soon followed and knelt slightly on the floor so that he could close the door.

Panting, Remus reached for him and curled his fingers into Sirius' shirt, pulling him forward. "Keep your head down," Remus whispered, their lips mere inches away from touching, "don't want to be seen."

He felt Remus' cold hands move under his shirt, caressing his back until sharp nails dug into his skin. Sirius arched into the touch, his arms already shaking from holding himself up. Remus pulled him down and he was relieved to feel Remus' warm chest against his.

"Kiss me, damn you," Remus said again, leaning on his elbows to reach Sirius' face. Sirius allowed himself to moan, but it turned into an indistinct panting noise as he felt Remus rake his nails down his back.

Staring into Remus' eyes, both panting loudly, Sirius leaned forward and smashed his lips against Remus'. He allowed himself to nip at the bottom lip, his chest heaving as he felt Remus' tongue dart out and slide across his lips. His fingers wrapped convulsively around the man's hips, tightening his hold as the kiss deepened. Wonderful, soft moans were issuing from Remus as their tongues dueled. He felt Remus pulling at his buckle, but they both stilled suddenly, hearing loud voices emerging from the bar.

The last thing they wanted was a run-in with a couple of drunken, homophobic men.

After they heard the car doors slam shut, Remus looked up into Sirius' face, sweat beaded across his forehead. "Will you come with me tomorrow to a bar that I just found recently?" He paused as he tried to slow his breathing. "I think we will be more accepted there."