Author’s Notes

A really short story, but I haven’t really written fanfiction in a while and this is my first time ever writing Bridge to Terabithia fanfiction. But it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give criticism where it’s due :) Although I wouldn’t appreciate flames very much.

Everything is copyrighted to their own owners; Katherine Paterson for the characters, Avenged Sevenfold for the song.

I Won’t See You Tonight

Sometimes you wish things were just like they were like in the movies. You know, the ones that ended happily. That way, everything would be all right in the end and you would not have to face anything that burdened you. Even if you somehow did have to meet with a huge, seemingly unsolvable problem, by the end of the film, everything would have sorted themselves out or you would have learnt to cope fairly quickly. It usually happens in the end, when they say everything finishes “happily ever after”.

I wish that. Or rather, I think I wish that I had a bit more time to make things right. For most part, I suppose all I ever wanted to do was to see him a last time. There, I’ve said it. You think that it is a cheesy and possibly an overused line, don’t you? But it describes my feelings absolutely perfectly. I’ve always been a fan of “classic lines” after all.

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain

I was never suicidal, which is my reason for being so baffled that the rope even snapped right on cue. I was only trying to get away.

I've gone alone, took all my strength
I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight

It is honestly a really depressing thing to think about, the fact that I couldn’t even see Jess for the last time before the Dark Master took my life at the slopes leading to Terabithia. I fell into the crashing waters of the mote that Jess and I had built for protection and I drowned. I’m a good swimmer, but the Dark Master put a spell on me and I lost my ability to tread water.

My imagination and inability to stop thinking this way astounds even me. Even in the bleakest of times, I still manage to think up of something light-hearted, as optimistic as death can get.

But one good thing did come out of it, I think. Now I’ve found out that there’s a heaven after all. But everything is really static around here. It’s a bit too stagnant for my taste and I would really like it if someone would actually bother to find me a good book to immerse myself in or at least show me to a library where I could stay for hours on end, poring over the stories of trolls and dragons and other mystical creatures.

But there aren’t any libraries up here. Just pure white light. It’s like a sparkling beach, except the turquoise sea and deep blue horizon aren’t present.

Maybe I’m in limbo. I’ve heard many stories and versions of it, where it’s like people hang here when they can’t go to heaven or hell.

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
All the ones around me
I cared for and loved
It's building up inside of me
A place so dark, so cold, I had to set me free

But I can still look down and see what earth is like. It’s quite different from above. It’s cold and unfeeling and the people I love – which is not a lot I might add – all look really…sad. Being up here, I can somehow see their souls – and the souls of everybody else – and it really shows me so much. I’ve searched countless faces to find Jess though. I’ve finally locked onto him, but it breaks my heart.

Don't mourn for me
You're not the one to place the blame
As bottles call my name, I won't see you tonight

Why does he censure himself? How was it his fault that the dirty old rope snapped?

I admit that I was upset when I saw him get into a car without telling me where he was going that Saturday. I watched from my bedroom window, wondering where he was going and why he couldn’t simply ring me up to tell me about it. I would have completely understood and when I found out about the real reason, I was quite…dejected? Rejected? Whatever it was that I felt, I got over it as I floated by the house to have a look at how people would see me off.

Sorrow sank deep inside my blood
All the ones around me
I cared for and most of all I loved
But I can't see myself that way
Please don't forget me or cry while I'm away

I know he won’t really forgive himself for what happened, but I’ll always love him. I’ve loved him since we became friends. That sounds like a huge exaggeration, but it’s true. I never had many friends. I was always the weird girl with a story in her head who talked about flying pigs and dancing with anthropomorphic animals. Jess was the strange kid who didn’t like sports very much. He just drew. I think it’s where we have stuff in common. We love art and fantasy. I’ll never forget him, and I hope he remembers me.

So far away, I'm gone
Please don't follow me tonight
And while I'm gone everything will be alright

I saw him running to the creek today. It’s been three weeks. Although I don’t expect him to suddenly jump up and feel okay that quickly, I do hope he learns to cope. He’s a smart kid, a beautiful kid. He doesn’t deserve to be this sad or angry or dismal.

No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight
No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight