Thursday

Dib was watching "Mysterious Mysteries" and Gaz was seated next to him playing her game. Dib was indignantly arguing with the guest, a slightly more sensible guest than they usually had, Gaz thought; this one was claiming the Loch Ness Monster was merely an oversized piece of driftwood.

The show wasn't as bad as Gaz remembered it used to be, but did Dib have to be so loud? It wasn't like anybody on the television could hear him.

Finally Gaz said firmly, "Dib, I'm trying to play my game. Will you please be a little more QUIET!"

Dib whipped his head around to stare at her in astonishment, but Gaz was once again immersed in her artificial world. Had she just said, "Please?" Asking her to repeat herself had never been a good idea, and now he wondered if asking her to do so would bring back the old, bad-tempered, violently brutal Gaz. He decided not to risk it. Things were better now anyway.

He was certain it had sounded more like a request than her usual highhanded order, and she had even left out her usual threat of bodily harm. That made it the same as a big smile, a "Pretty please?" and a bribe from anybody else.

Dib settled back against the couch to watch the rest of his show, more quietly now. Something had changed in the previous week. It was something very strange, but it was something he was sure he could get used to.

Gaz was surprised too. That had actually worked? Saying "please" was definitely a lot less work than threatening him or beating him up. She didn't even have to stop playing her game.

Membrane now came home, early this time. Halfway through the living room he paused, as if he had suddenly noticed something. He looked at Gaz and shook his head wistfully. "They grow up SO fast!"

The End...

"Hmm, it's been... long enough."

"The room is actually... uh, not available right now, but we do finally have some results. Adam?"

"Table Two, no flies on the dish, no flies on the flypaper, and no flies in the vinegar."

"Table One has no flies on the dish, no flies on the flypaper, and no flies in the honey. In fact, there IS no honey; the bear licked it all up!"

"You should have seen the look on your face when that bear came in through the door!'

"I didn't have to; I saw the look on yours!"

"How'd you remember to grab the automatic door slammer on the way out?"

"Danger IS my middle name."

"And then I called the Wildlife Service, to come and collect their, their bear."

"Okay, time to wrap up this myth. Did we at any point see any flies near the vinegar?"

"I was watching the vinegar the whole time... until the bear came in of course... and at no time did I ever see any flies anywhere near the vinegar. Oh, and no bears either."

"Did the bear drink any vinegar?"

"I watched the CCTV tapes while you were waiting for the Wildlife Service... fast-forwarding through all the boring parts where the bear was nowhere near the vinegar, and no, the bear did not drink any vinegar."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. No vinegar."

"And were there ever any flies on Buster?"

"No."

"Did we see any flies at all?"

"Not a one. We saw ants, butterflies, bees, and a - "

"That's not what this myth is about. Did we see any flies on either of the two pieces of flypaper?"

"No, we did not. So are we going to call this one Busted?"

"I wouldn't exactly call it busted; we still don't know whether you can catch more flies with honey than you can catch with vinegar."

"But we did find out something else... you CAN catch more BEARS with honey than you can catch with vinegar!"

"Now that IS true."

"So we're done. Er, you did say it was B-E-E-R we had for them?"

"Yes, I figured they'd get here faster if they thought that."

"Looks like they figured it out."

"And they're mad at us."

"So they're taking their time."

"And I'm getting hungry. Is there any honey left?"

"No. The bear found the rest and ate it all, every bit of it."

"I wish they'd hurry up and get here so we could go grab a bite to eat."

"Yeah, babysitting a BEAR is just plain weird!"