Haunted, a Cloud/Reno story

By Kigichi and Bekas Strife

Contains extremely OOC!Reno, a bit of Cloud, MPreg, angst and much more.

Disclaimer: These characters and the world where they live in aren’t ours. Only the storyline is.

AN: Kigichi mostly writes Reno and Bekas Cloud.

Enjoy!!

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Reno lazily blinked as the sun slowly crept into his eyes.

He had been sitting in front of the door of Cloud’s room all night just thinking, going over his past mistakes and relationship with Cloud again and again in his mind. Looking back, the redhead realized that all they ever seemed to do was fight since they learnt about the baby. Two or three arguments a day, all supplied by him, and when they weren’t arguing it seemed that they were working.

What happened to them?

They used to be so good together. Going out every weekend, whip cream fights in the kitchen, running around the park at midnight because no one else could know they were together. They used to have so much fun. There were no questions of loyalty and thoughts of betrayal. They were like two teenagers in love.

Reno’s breath hitched painfully in his chest as he felt tears gather in the corners of his eyes.

Was that it? Did they just lose touch? Yes, he loved Cloud but was it truly love? Or were they just fooling themselves? Did they truly belong together or was there someone else out there that is truly meant to be with Cloud?

Sniffing hard and standing up, wincing as his muscles protested the sudden movement; Reno stumbled down the stairs and to the kitchen, sitting at the table to write a note. If Cloud wasn’t meant to be his, he was not going to keep him captive. He was going to do what he should have done a long time ago.

He was going to set him free.

Cloud,

I'm sorry for this but by the time you wake up and come down, I'll be gone. I'm so sorry but last night I took the time to think - I know, scary huh? - And realized something.

Our spark is gone.

The good moments are few and far in between, not like before. Remember that? We used to be so free and happy. I don't know what happened but it was most likely my fault and I'm sorry for that. I did not cheat on you with Marluxia. He was just this nice guy who showed me the right store to go to and then bought me some ice cream as he told me about how he met his lover, Vexen. I shouldn’t be surprised that you thought that, though. I never gave you any reason to think otherwise, did I? I've been a horrible lover to you - don’t deny it as you know its true - and I've decided that enough is enough. I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago: I'm going to let you go, my love. I'm going back to Midgar so you can have the house: Rufus will give me another one. Stay here and I'll send you my new address. You don’t have to visit and don’t worry about the Mako and Jenova thing, I'm pretty sure Rufus can get his scientists to make me some. You can visit the baby all you want, I won’t stop you. I just want you to find someone you can truly trust and love. I want you to be happy and it's painfully obvious that I won’t be able to give you that happiness. I'm so sorry for wasting several years of your life but I love you and I didn’t want to let you go.

Be happy Cloud. Please.

Reno.

Heaving a sigh, Reno picked up his now complete work and placed it in an envelope. Walking back upstairs, he stopped in front of Cloud’s room and pushed the letter into the division before going back to their old room and beginning to pack.

He would walk to town, get in the boat and then rent a car.

Moments later, Cloud slowly began to stir, sneezing awake.

Blinking, the blond groaned and got up gingerly, feeling sore in all of the other places he had cut. The blame still haunted his spirit and every time he remembered about it and the feeling that came with it, he just couldn’t help but pick up the razor and do it again and again….

The problem was that now, the cuts on his ankles wouldn’t let him walk straight and that would raise suspicions. Reno couldn’t know he cut himself. No, no, no, no... It was definitely a no-no. The only one that once knew was Zack and well... Zack was dead now. Not that he wanted him dead but... he didn’t know but it seemed like those that got too deep into his life, always ended up hurt in one way or another.

The blond would rather die than permanently hurt his lover.

Cloud slowly got out of the freezing bath and emptied the tube, seeing the pretty much bloodied water flush away. He picked up the bathrobe on the back of the bathroom’s door and put it on, happy that it hid most of his bruises. He couldn’t risk Reno seeing them before they healed. Walking gingerly towards the room, Cloud put his clothes on top of the bed and sighed sadly, wondering what he could do to make-up for ruining the previous day.

Take a nice breakfast to Reno's bed? Go with his lover to buy baby stuff? He didn't-- "What?" He murmured, seeing an envelope by the door.

Frowning softly, the blond picked it up and opened it, blinking when he saw Reno's perfect handwriting before starting to read it.

It was the last drop to his bleeding heart - every word, every sentence cut deeper than deep: his lover was leaving him.

It didn’t matter the reasons why, his lover was leaving him! "No...” He whimpered, unlocking the door and stumbling into the corridor. No, he couldn’t let him! Reno was his light, his day and night, his balance. Without him, he didn’t know what would happen to him. "Reno?" He called shakily, walking as fast as his injured ankles let him. "Reno?"

Said man lifted his head from where he was packing the last of his stuff.

Oh no. Cloud was awake already.

Picking up his bag, the redhead ran to the window and tried to see if there was any way he could sneak out the window before he was caught. No good, the only thing below him was the pool; he could still see his iPod on the bottom of it. Whimpering in panic, he turned to go for the door: maybe he could slip past Cloud. Opening the door, he came face to face with his lover. "... I was just leaving, yo..." Reno said faintly, seeing his letter crunched inside the blonde’s shaky fist.

Cloud shook his head wildly, making drops of water fall off his wet spikes. "No." He said, not being able to stop searching his lover’s eyes: any glimpse of doubt, any glimpse of uncertainty… That’s all he wanted to find to be sure that Reno was just acting hotheaded. "Please, don't leave... I-I'll do anything, please... just don't leave." He whispered, joining his hands in a praying position in front of his nose, cursing mentally: he didn't want to sound so weak, so torn. Blinking, the blond quickly put his hands back down as he noticed a growing blood stain forming near his wrists and down his arm. Not good!

Closing his eyes, Reno turned his head away. He couldn’t look at Cloud right now. He would break if he did. Sniffing a bit, he cracked his eyes open when a coppery smell tinged the air. Glancing down, his eyes widened at the sight of a few pearls of crimson sliding down Cloud’s arms and dripping to the floor. "...What...” Reaching out, he grasped the wounded arm and brought it up to examine.

Self inflicted.

Reno's face scrunched up in agony and guilt as he tried to suppress his tears. Linking his fingers with the bloody ones, he bent his head until it rested on top of them, shoulders shaking as tears dripped to the floor. "Th-this is wh-why I have to go!" He sobbed. “Look what I made you do!" Letting loose a wail of despair, Reno felt his knees give out on him and he slowly fell to the floor, still grasping Cloud’s bloody hand. "Lo-look to what I pushed you to!" Looking up, despair and pain flooding into his emerald depths, he pleaded. "Can’t you see I have to go?!"

"No, I can’t!" Cloud exclaimed, finally looking away from his lover and jerking his hand back, hiding it as pure shame covered his face. "This isn't your fault..." He whispered. "It’s my fault." Cloud knelled in front of his lover gingerly as he tried to ignore the pain in his knees and stop the bleeding on his arm. "... Since Sephiroth and meteor were defeated that I do this. It has nothing to do with you. No-one knew, know only you know... and I would have preferred to keep it in secret. This... this is my punishment. No-one else needed to know about that. The weight of Zack’s death, Aerith’s death, the death of many others because meteor was summoned because of me… This pain isn’t something that I can share." He whispered, shaking as he fought back tears. Reno couldn’t leave, he just couldn’t! "Since I’ve met you, the pain has become less and less... so please" He sobbed, slumping forward and resting his forehead against the carpeted floor. "Please, don’t leave me...!"

Reno gasped, reaching over to pull Cloud back up. "Please don’t do that! Please?!" He didn't deserve this. "I... I hurt you... I’m making the pain worse! All we do is fight... you don’t NEED me." Cloud didn’t need him. Not him, a loudmouthed mess up of a Turk that couldn’t do anything right. "You don’t!" Who was he trying to convince? Cloud or himself? He wasn’t sure anymore. "You can find others… someone better yo! I'm just... I’m just another face in the crowd. A temporary cure... you need someone that will never make you sad, never hurt you. I'm not it."

"You think I was alone all this time?!" Cloud exclaimed loudly, raising his head and resting it carefully on Reno’s lap. "I-I had relationships... one after another and so on... no-one worked, even Tifa made it hurt more than before. It was when we got together that everything seemed to fall in place, that I finally saw some fucking light in the end of the tunnel." He whispered, hiccupping while his tears turned Reno’s pants damp. "I don’t want someone else... I want you. There isn’t a perfect couple, one where there aren’t fights and stuff like that. So please, please don’t leave me, please..." He pleaded over and over again, unconsciously digging his nails into his cuts. He was hurting... and he was hurting Reno as well. So many times he could have died, so many...! Was he destined to hurt people?!

Reno sighed and reached over to pry his lover’s hands from his injuries, holding them in front of his face. "Cloud... if you need me... if it's working… then why...? I just don’t want to hurt you. I love you too much to hurt you." It would be better if he disappeared. Left to never be seen again. Cloud would hurt, yes, but he would find someone else. "How can we go on like this? Constantly yelling and hurting each other... a year ago you would have been laughing your ass off at what I did this morning and try to get revenge." He whimpered. "How can we be together when we don’t even get along half the time yo?" And yet, despite his words, he made no move to shove Cloud off his lap, to leave. Instead he sat there; gently running his fingers though the other’s damp hair.

Reno didn’t seem to notice as Cloud stiffened under his touch. The blond stared at the carpeted floor before closing his eyes tightly, gingerly sitting back up and shaking Reno’s hand off his head. "You just said it." Cloud whispered. "I’m the one causing this... like you said, a year ago, everything would be fine... but now it isn't. I don’t have an excuse to give you, to justify my actions." Slowly, Cloud moved away from his lover, clearing the way out.

Reno wasn’t freeing him: he was running away from the hell he had cast upon his redhead lover.

"...What, no... Cloud..." Reno blinked and crawled towards the blond. He needed to understand. He needed Cloud to know. "Cloud no...” Reaching towards the other, he stopped just short of touching him. "... Look at me." Getting no response, the redhead lashed out and grabbed the front of Cloud’s robe. "LOOK AT ME!!" Desperation laced his voice. "Listen here-LOOK AT ME!" Making sure he had Cloud’s attention, Reno grabbed the blonde’s wrist and gave it a light squeeze. "This? NOT YOUR FAULT! You have been through so much that I’m not surprised that you do this! Hell, if it was me I would have killed myself a long time ago! I'm not ashamed with or of YOU nor do I blame you! I blame... I blame...” And just like that, he deflated with all traces of anger gone. "I blame myself." He nearly whispered. "How could I not have noticed that you were hurting? That I was the cause of your hurt? If I had known…" He gulped, pushing his tears back. He couldn’t break down now but there was nothing he could have done about the self hate and utter disgust he felt from himself from slipping out of his voice and eyes. "If I knew... I would have tried my damn hardest to heal you... I would have made sure to NEVER say anything to cause you pain... instead… instead I was myself." Reno spit out the word 'myself’ like it was some sort of horrid disease. "I… I... and now... it's too late... I’m sorry Cloud. I’m so, so sorry. I broke you and I don’t think I can fix it." Shuddering, he buried his face in his hands. "This is my entire fault. God I’m sorry."

Cloud blinked and let a few tears fall freely down his face, slightly scared with the redhead's first outburst. For moments, he had seen the bloodthirsty Turk he had fought against years before."I...” he whispered, trembling so hard that he had to hug himself. It was a hot day, but damn... he felt like freezing. "I... you didn’t break me." he whispered. "I don’t know if you believe in anything that I say but PLEASE believe in this: you didn’t break me, I was already broken... instead you were a gentle guy that picked up the pieces." He sobbed, trying to breathe. "One chance. I just ask for another chance to change, to become what I was before. Please... I beg you."

Sniffling a bit, Reno nodded; eyes still dark with self loathing and despair. "Didn't I already tell you? I would give you a million chances yo." Cloud was lying. He DID break him; the evidence was dripping onto the floor as they spoke. "... I'm going to change.” He would NOT hurt Cloud any longer. He was going to make sure that Cloud was never upset again. "I love you, you know..."

Cloud shook his head, reaching with shaky hands to cup his beloved’s face. “I love you just the way you are.” He whispered with his voice tight with emotion. Letting out a sob, he pulled Reno into an embrace, afraid that if he let go, Reno would try to leave him once more. He didn’t know if he would be able to cope with such thing.

"Cl… Cloud?" Grunting softly, Reno tried to move his pinned arms. "... Hey?"

Cloud shook his head and sighed shakily, releasing his lover. "N-nothing, sorry." He apologized, ashamed. It seems that he just got a bit ahead of himself.

Reno sighed and then smiled; wrapping his arms around the other and pulling him close. "There! That’s better. I needed my hands free for this." Holding Cloud close, he smiled and closed his eyes, planning what he would do later on to make up for everything. Maybe clean the entire house.

Cloud smiled and blinked. "Thank you." He whispered, truly grateful that his lover had given him another chance. "I love you so much... thank you, thank you, thank you!" He sobbed, laughing weakly against Reno’s throat. He hissed when the pain of his cuts came back.

"I love you too." This was different. Cloud normally wasn’t this emotional. Shifting a bit, Reno tried to get into a better position. The floor was hard and he was pretty sure he was lying on a shoe, but Cloud didn’t want to move so it was ok. Frowning worriedly, he ran his hands down Cloud’s arms. "We need to heal those yo." He should have some materia somewhere.

Cloud shook his head, instead snuggling further into Reno’s arms. "No... I'm fine, baby."

Humming, Reno reached into his pocket and started to pull things out. "..Gum...No...Pen, no...Rubber duck, what the? Ahha! Here it is!" Smiling, he pulled out a Cure materia and activated it, watching his lover glow green and his cuts and bruises healing as he did so. Dropping the orb, Reno wrapped his lover into an embrace once more, nuzzling his neck gently. "The first step to heal is making you better yo. You don’t need to do this anymore." Cloud swallowed hard and nodded, hiding his wet face on Reno’s neck and seeing his tears slid down his lover's throat. He still didn’t know what he had of special: why so many people actually cared. As if sensing his lover’s torment, Reno titled Cloud’s head back until they were face to face. "I love you. Everyone does yo. Your strong, kind, caring, you take care of others and you just seem to emit this...” He paused for a moment "...Aura...that draws others to you. Don’t question why you’re cared for, Cloud. Just know that there are those out there that would be really hurt if you were sad."

Cloud nodded, once more on the verge of bursting into tears: he hated this! "This is what I don't like... This is what I hate.” He whispered, looking away. "You're always there for me, always being able to cheer me up, to reassure me... but my words don't seem to have any reassuring or calming effect." He said almost bitterly. He sucked at comforting. Taking a deep breath, Cloud shifted. "Do… You care about me? I know I’m a pain in the ass during most of the time…" He said in a whisper.

"Well DUH!" Came the immediate response. "I do believe I'm on top of ‘who cares for Cloud’ little love graph." Reno smiled again and nuzzled his nose against Cloud’s nose. "And your words DO reassure me. You’re the only one that can make me smile after a bad day, calm me down when I’m angry, make me smile when I’m sad. You’re the one that makes me believe that life is still worth living, that I’m not just some sort of mass murdering monster so many others seem to think I am."

Cloud blinked and smiled a small smile, burying his face on Reno’s soft hair. "The day you turn into a monster, is the day my hair turns gray. Do notice that Jenova cells do not let me get old." He said, attempting a joke as Reno got off him and he tried to get up. His eyes quickly fluttered closed and he started falling, dizzy due to the blood loss. "Ugh..."

Laughing softly, Reno reached out and caught Cloud before he could hit the floor. "Cloud made a funny! Well done!" Grinning he stood up and swung one of Cloud’s arms over his shoulder, helping him to the bed. "I would pick you up but I can’t for three reasons. One, you’re heavy. Two, you’re taller and that would look ridiculous, and three, it’s not a good idea to do that in my condition."

"It would look cute." Cloud whispered chuckling weakly as everything slowly fell back to place. "But yeah, you can’t lift weights." He said, letting himself be dragged to the bed and laying down gingerly.

Reno chuckled and shook his head. Maneuvering his lover’s limbs under the covers, he sat on the edge of the bed and brushed a few pieces of hair from Cloud’s face. "... I’m going to go clean while you sleep ok?"

Cloud nodded gently and watched as Reno kissed his forehead. "Try not to do anything that would damage the baby, like the doctor said." He asked and watched as his lover smiled, nodded and left. When he heard the stereo being turned on and being put on a low volume, the blond knew that Reno wouldn’t come back for a while. Looking around and gripping his hair, he shook his head as he saw Reno’s letter near the door. "Sorry..." He whispered, getting up and wobbling to the bathroom. Looking around and searching for something sharp, he smiled apologetically at his reflection on the mirror, cursing at how ridiculous he looked.

Downstairs and whistling happily, Reno scrubbed at the stove. "Spot, spot, spot, spot, evil SPOT!" After a few more moments, and an unhealthy amount of 'Comet', he finally scrubbed away the stain on the stove. "Victory!" Finishing his little victory dance, he decided to tackle the microwave next. "CLOUD!” He screamed, shaking his head. He knew his lover too well. “GET YOUR BUTT IN BED AND DROP THE RAZOR!" He called out. He went through the same thing Cloud did years ago so he knew the signs and patterns. "I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING MISTER!"

At the bathroom, Cloud gasped and dropped the razor he had just found, completely freaked out. "H-how?" He whispered, looking around. Resting his face on his hands, the blond sniffed and let out a long sigh before putting the razor back in its place but not before running his thumb down the blade. Taking off the bloodied bathrobe and letting it slide slowly down his tanned body to the floor, the blond collapsed onto the bed and cried softly into his pillow. His lover was just too good for him... and he was too unworthy.

Still hiccupping, the blond reached for the quilt and snuggled under it, falling asleep as emotional exhaustion, once more, took over him.

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Bekas: -iz depressed now- Dx Emoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemox2! –coughs- Anyway, we’ve noticed the amount of alerts and favs this story has received through the week :3 Once again, THANK YOU!!11111ONE XD But, we’d like to ask once more, to those who put this story on alert or their favorites, to COMMENT once in a while. The length doesn’t matter; we just like to read what you guys think, even if it’s a ‘lolwhut?’! XD

Kigichi: XD Dear lord this was just MADE of emo!! Hopefully it will get better soon...