Note: I do not own Disney, Mulan, or any other plot schemes or characters thereof. However, these words are mine, so hands off! -

Disney’s

Mulan, Miniature

Mulan – the smart heroine

Shang, Captain of the Army – not all that bright

Mushu – a magical dragon

Crickee – for good luck!

Ancestor #1 – Honor

Ancestot #2 – Loyalty

Ancestor #3 – Strength

Ancestor #4 – Destiny

Ancestor #5 – Love

Mulan’s Father – poetic and sympathetic

Mulan’s Mother – monosyllabic and sympathetic

Grandma Fa

Mulan’s second cousin’s ex-stepbrother’s room mate

Chi-fu – the one smart guy, scribe for the Chinese army

Shan-yu – leader of the Huns and sufferer of short-man’s disease

The Emperor – a sufferer of even-shorter-man’s disease

Matchmaker

Various monosyllabic, “state the obvious” solders who work for Shang

Various demented/dumb/monosyllabic Hun solders

Various other sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, chickens, cows, dressmakers, elephants, little bitty babies, and squirrels of China

Prologue

(Enter the five ancestors)

Ancestor #1: Welcome to Ancient China.

Ancestor #2: Really, it's not actually that ancient...

Ancestor #3: And actually, I've only been dead and spreading my immortal wisdom for three years.

Ancestor #4: Exactly. Well, the China in this story isn't all that dated, but one idea in our way of life can be seen that way.

Ancestor #5: We think that every thing's set in place, no changing it, no way, no how.

Ancestor #1: But we digress. We're actually here to tell ya'll about this chick named Mulan...

Ancestor #2: Dude, does she have it bad. While everyone is plodding around following their so-called "destiny," Mulan has to fight off all these Hun people and save China single-handedly.

Ancestor #3: Yeah, cuz nobody will help her. Watch and see what we mean.

Ancestor #4: We won't promise a tale that's riveting, romantic, and revolutionary...

Ancestor #5: ...but we can promise that it'll be entertaining. Farewell...

(All exit)

(Fade to black.)