A/N Just for the record, Kayim is pronounced kai-em, not kai-eem.

I lay on my bed, eyes closed, breathing deeply. I blindly set the syringe in my bedside table and pulled the elastic band from my arm as I let the drug wash over me. The only way that I could deal with how I lived my life was to get high – if I didn’t, the pain of realize would set in and I would realize how meaningless I really was. I’m not sure how long I had been laying there before I heard a knock on my door. I didn’t want to answer it, I didn’t want to get up for anything; why not let whoever it was think I as out? I often was at this time; what with my occupation, I slept during the day. “Nick, I know you’re in there!” Kayim’s voice accompanied the second knock and I sighed, getting off of the bed, and opened the door. “I brought you dinner,” he held up a small brown bag as he entered. “Now go and put some clothes on, you’ll freeze like that.” His eyes scanned my body, taking in my jeans and lack of shirt.

“Thanks, but really, I’m not hungry.” I grabbed a sweatshirt off of the counter and pulled it over my head to appease Kai

“Christ, Nick, you’re fucking high, aren’t you!” Oh yeah…aside from weed, Kayim hates drugs. I just shrugged and avoided eye contact. “Nick, do you realize how bad that is for you?!”

“In my line of work, I need it to say sane!” I snapped.

“Nick, if you hate work half as much as I think you do, then quit! Get another job! The one that you’re doing now is BAD for you!” Kayim looked at me, clearly worried.

“I’m not like you, Kayim! I can’t just quit!” I yelled, moving in to crowd him.

“Why not?” he asked, his voice surprisingly calm. “Look at yourself, Nick! You’re living in a dump getting high just so you can handle your job, which, by the way, leaves you coming home INJURED and upset.” Kai reached out to me and put his hand on forehead, touching the lump carefully. “What if someone tries to kill you, Nick? You wouldn’t be able to stop them.”

“Are you saying that I can’t take care of myself?” I swatted his hand away and backed up.

“No…I’m just saying that these guys…they blindfold you and even tie you up sometimes, if they wanted to kill you, you wouldn’t be able to defend yourself, Nick.” His eyes darted fleetingly to the minor rope burn on my wrists, and I shoved my hands in my pockets quickly so that he wouldn’t see.

“No one’s going to kill me…look, if you just came up here to tell me that I threw my life away, I don’t want to hear it, alright? Don’t you have somewhere to be, like working?”

“I’m on my break…” Kayim sighed. “Look, I just wanted to make sure that you got something to eat, there’s a chicken burrito and some chips in here if you get hungry, I’m going back to work.” Without another word, Kayim turned and left.

“Shit.” I sighed and grabbed the brown bag. I took it to my room with me, and stared at it for a few minutes before opening it up. Just like Kayim had said, chicken burrito and tortilla chips. Fuck. I unwrapped the burrito and took a bite. It tasted good, but I hadn’t been lying, I just wasn’t hungry. I hated that I had made friends with Kai, it made everything just a little bit harder, because most of the time, he was right…I hadn’t intended to make friends with him, but before he was 21, he used to hang out in Carter’s all the time as a customer, and I would see him, but we never talked until one night when I was 16 and completely wasted. I had lost the majority of my senses, and I don’t remember much, but the way I hear it, some guy had his hands all over me and I wasn’t doing a very good job of telling him no, and Kayim thought I was being raped, so he threw a shot glass at the guy and hit him in the head and helped me get back to my apartment, where he apparently took care of me until I fell asleep, then crashed on my floor…so naturally, the next morning I was terrified to find some guy asleep on my floor. He explained everything, and after that we just kind of got along. He knew me better than anyone else in my new life, but even he didn’t know my deepest secret…or even my real last name, he, like everyone else thought that my name was Nick Jacobs, and I saw no reason ever to tell him; what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. I put the burrito back in the bag with the chips and set it on the night stand, grabbing my phone to see if I had a text message from my boss yet telling me what tomorrow…or I suppose today’s job, was going to be.

Jacobs, you’ve been requested to be at the Four Seasons tomorrow at 10:30, don’t expect to go home until around 1:00, this is a long job. You are required to both bring and wear a blindfold. Go up to room 314…and for the love of god, look nice, this guy is paying a lot for your time and even more for the hotel room. I sighed as I closed the text message. The higher paying customers usually some weird perversion, though a room at the Four Seasons…that seemed more like a high class customer than someone paying to cover perversion costs. I sighed and fell back on the bed, pulling off the sweatshirt that I had put on to please Kai, and sank in to the mattress of my small bed. I didn’t want to sleep, but it was better than any alternative I could think of, so I closed my eyes and tried not to think about how fucked up everything was as I drifted off in to a dreamless sleep.