Although he had been able to grieve in front of Dr. Cox, once he was back at his apartment he found himself unable to. He kept drifting to the window and looking at the place where the accident had happened, replaying the sounds of the crash again and again in his head. The sight of a blue four-door something or other speeding down the street, not even bothering to look at what it had left behind in its wake. The feel of Dan's head cradled in his lap as he screamed for someone to call 9-1-1.

And back to the hospital room, to Dan's last words. He didn't know what he was supposed to forgive their father for and he supposed now he never would. A wry smile crossed his lips. Knowing Dan it had just been something to mess with his head, a final kick in the pants before leaving this world. He was probably looking down (or up) at JD this very moment and laughing at him.

He drifted around the kitchen, unsure of what to do with himself. JD and Carla were at work, where he would like to be, only they wouldn't allow him to work because he was on the first day of a three day (paid) bereavement leave. At least he might have been able to distract himself for a moment if he threw himself into his work, but he didn't really believe that. He thought about eating something but his stomach churned at the thought of food. He didn't feel like cooking, anyway, and the thought of having to face another person if he ordered takeout made him grimace.

He picked up various piles of paperwork he knew he should catch up on and set each of them down without even glancing at them. He went back to the window. He drifted some more.

The doorbell rang.

JD tensed up, unsure of what to do. He didn't know who it could be and he really didn't feel like talking to anyone at the moment. He stood in front of the door, willing whoever was on the other side to give up and go away. Another ring, followed by a knock. Damn this persistent bastard, whomever it may be. Another ring and knock, followed by a "Come on newbie, I know you're in there," spoken in a familiar voice.

JD peered through the peephole and Dr. Cox peered back. He quickly unchained and unlocked the door and let the other man in. Dr. Cox carried a pizza and a twelve pack of beer with him, and while JD wasn't too enthusiastic about the pizza, he was definitely happy to see the beer. Dr. Cox wordlessly handed JD a beer and sat down in front of the tv. They drank and watched sports highlights on ESPN, occasionally making a comment on whatever was happening on the screen. Dr. Cox noticed JD wasn't eating and handed him a slice. When JD looked as if he were going to protest, one looking from the older man shut him up, and he ate it without complaint, as well as the second and third slices that were handed to him.

JD glanced at Dr. Cox. This was the first time JD had seen him since he had broken down in his car after the funeral. He wasn't sure what to say and it looked as if Dr. Cox felt the same way. They sat there in silence, watching tv and drinking beer.

JD was the first to break the ice. "Thanks," he said and Dr. Cox looked from the screen to him. He froze. Now that they had made eye contact he forgot what he was going to say. His mouth opened and closed a few times but nothing came out.

"Calm down Miranda, it's just pizza and beer." Dr. Cox cocked an eyebrow and JD burst out laughing. Chortled. Chuckled. Guffawed. He laughed so hard tears streamed down his face. And then he was just crying.

"Oh crap," he thought, through the tears. "I hope I don't cry every time I see him."