You know you're in love with Abe Sapien when...

This is not just another big fish story. This is a diagnosis, people. Clinical, people. Clinical.

You know you are in love with Abe Sapien when:

You fasten yourself into your seat belt, then drive your car over a bridge and wait for Abe to come save you.

You tear up every time you pass by a Fish 'N Chip shop.

Everytime you go into pet stores, you put on lipstick before wandering into the exotic fish section. Just in case.

You carry rotten eggs around in your lunchbox. Just in case.

You carry around reference books of demons and folklore. Just in case.

You wear bicycle shorts whenever you go swimming.

You wear bicycle shorts even when you don't.

This is your favorite catch line: "Abe. The other white meat."

You think "catch line" is a good joke.

You ask "Who's the big red guy? Who? Hellboy? Never heard of him."