|Everybody into the pool
Author: blc PM
Booth & Brennan fight over significant life events, to the joy of the betting pool. Disclaimer: all characters and some dialogue the property of Fox and the show's producers. Plotline is the author's. Chapter 3 is now up.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - S. Booth & T. Brennan - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,920 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 11-02-08 - Published: 07-25-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4423171
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
She stormed in through the revolving doors, a whirlwind pushing the glass forward almost purely in anger. It was like one of those storm fronts, where the air's heavy, right before all hell breaks loose and the worst thunder and lightning of your life rips the sky apart. All activity in the front lobby stilled as she stormed in, everyone caught, motionless, as her fury and something else, still inexplicable, rolled off her.
This, I had to see, especially if it was what I thought it was.
She disappeared into the elevator, no one daring to enter it with her. As soon as the door closed, I ran over to the stairwell, calling "Fight!" over my shoulder. "He's in his office!" I called, then let the door slam behind me. I pounded up the stairs, hoping I'd beat her there. I've never run so fast in my life, even from that jock who tried to pound me when his girlfriend the cheerleader kissed me because she got an A on the paper I helped her write. There was a stampede of people following behind me, the thunder of feet shaking the stairs. I made it, and nonchalantly took a seat on the desk opposite Charlie, one of his desk agents, and I could hear others quietly creeping in behind me.
I quirked an eyebrow at Charlie as he looked at me, and he stilled, as did everyone else in the bullpen, when the elevator door opened. Again, the air stilled—actually crackled, as she stormed in, striding past all of us without taking us in. He was sitting at his desk, working hard at some stack of paper, but he must have felt her coming, because he, too, looked up, just in time for her to burst through his door.
"You! You did this to me!" She yelled, pointing her finger at him so forcefully I could almost feel it from here.
"What, baby? What's the matter, sweetheart?" he asked, looking concerned and rising from his chair.
"Sweets, Cherie, is this what I think it is?" I heard Caroline Julian murmur behind me.
"I think so," I said, keeping my voice low.
She shook her head. "That girl's going to tear him limb from limb."
Sam Cullen, standing behind her, shook his head, agreeing. Softly, he whispered to Charlie, "Get an ambulance on standby. If she cold cocks him, he's going to be knocked into next week."
He'd been advancing toward her, a worried look on his face, clearly meaning to pull her into one of those hugs that makes the rest of us feel like we have no understanding of what an embrace is.
"Don't you take one step further, Seeley Michael Booth-Brennan," she growled. Oh, that's so wretched. The full name treatment. He's really in trouble. Other men, standing behind me, including Sam Cullen, hissed in sympathy. She's going to kill him, calling him by his full name like that.
"Call that ambulance, now," Cullen repeated.
"Oh, it is what I think it is," Caroline said.
"Baby, come on, what is it?" he asked, stopping short. Even he knew not to touch her when she was in one of her moods.
"Don't call me baby. And don't you dare touch me. That's what started all this, anyway. You asshole! You did this on purpose!" Oh, dude. She really was going to kill him.
"Did what? Temperance, darling, I have no idea what you're talking about! Come on, honey, talk to me." He knew was in deep. He was using every endearment in the playbook. She stepped forward, right into his chest, and jabbed him once, hard, in the chest. Even he flinched a little.
"Ouch," I heard from a few guys behind us. I winced in sympathy, too. That looked like it hurt.
"You! It wasn't enough for you to ask me not to go to Ethiopia, was it? I told you the civil unrest wasn't that bad! And I even agreed to let you come with me, even though you'll be bored and I'll have to listen to you whine the whole time we're there about no decent cheeseburgers and how you can't watch any of your stupid sports games on the TV!" She was jabbing him, hard, at the end of each statement.
"Mmm, he's going to bruise, that's for sure," murmured Caroline. I heard some feet behind me, and turned to see Dr. Hodgins, Ms. Montenegro, Dr. Saroyan, and a few other folks from the lab coming in to stand behind me.
"What did we miss?" Angela whispered. Sam Cullen leaned over, and gave her the recap. She stifled a squeal, grabbing Jack's hand so tightly instead that he winced.
"But no! You! What did you do? Replace my birth control with sugar pills? Poke a hole in the condom? You and your goddamned super sperm, Booth! You did this to me! I'll be too far along to fly now, much less spend six weeks at a dig in the middle of August!" She was still jabbing him at the end of each sentence. Only she would want to go dig up bodies in Africa in the middle of August. And only he would agree to accompany her.
At the words "birth control pills," the air in the room became utterly silent. And at the same time, his face changed to surprised, delirious joy.
"You're pregnant? We're having a baby?!?" he yelled, picking her up and twirling her around as she swatted him on the head.
"Put me down!" she yelled. "I'm not done yelling at you!"
He put her down, instantly. He is so whipped. I mean, in a good way. It's rather hard not to do what Dr. Booth-Brennan tells you to, especially when she gives you that stare of hers. Or better yet, that charm smile she stole from him, then improved upon. He couldn't restrain himself though, and pulled her in for a long, lingering kiss.
"Mmm—that's at least seventeen steamboats," said Caroline, and Angela jumped up and down in place, still stifling her squeal. Jack looked like he was in significant pain as Angela kept clutching his hand.
"Stop that," she said, pushing away and still glaring at him. "Don't think making my knees turn to jello is going to make me forgive you."
He tried to stifle his joy, but he couldn't, and he picked her up, twirling her around again. "But baby, we're having a baby!"
She started swatting him again, and yelled, "Even worse, twins! Put me down!"
He practically dropped her. Twins? There was a murmur behind us. I heard Jack murmur "Crap. I never put that in the betting pool."
"Twins!?!" He looked stunned.
"Yes!" she said, poking him hard again. "I'm going to get twice as fat, twice as fast, you and your goddamned sperm and your goddamned genetics gave me twins, and I'm really, really, not happy with you right now."
"Damn," whispered Caroline. "I had odds on she'd punch him by now."
"Me too," whispered Dr. Saroyan. "Rats."
I was fascinated, though I'd already lost. I'd laid my money on the platform at the lab, a month later from now.
"Bones," he said softly, pulling her in to one of those patented "shut out the world" Booth-Brennan hugs, as some of the women behind us started to "aw," "I'm sorry we can't go to Ethiopia. I really didn't do anything on purpose, I promise. I know you wanted to go. But… aren't you just a little bit happy?"
I missed what she said, she was mumbling into his chest, and he said something back softly in return, and then she got mad all over again and pushed away, and started jabbing him again.
"Don't you sweet talk me, Seeley Michael Booth-Brennan! I am a walking hormone factory right now, and you will just learn to put up with it, seeing as this is all your fault!" He stood there taking it like a man, a goofy smile on his face as she kept poking him.
"Okay, Bones, whatever you say," he said quietly. She just whacked him.
"Ouch, again," I said. Dr. Saroyan even winced, and of all of us, she was most likely to take Dr. Booth-Brennan's side.
"I'm hungry, and horny, and my bra doesn't fit and my back hurts, and this is all your fault!" she wailed, then whacked him again. Oh, man, she was really worked up.
"Sweetheart," he said, risking a right cross as he pulled her in and kissed her again. "I'm sorry it happened right now, really I am, but we've been talking about this."
"They have? Shit. There goes my bet," muttered Sam Cullen. That's right. There was a column for "completely unplanned" on the betting sheet.
He was continuing. "What's the difference between getting pregnant now and six months from now? We can go to Ethiopia after you have the twins, we can hire a nanny to come with us." He'd pulled her into his arms, and said something else softly to her, and she said something back, both too low to hear.
"Remind me to wiretap his office," Cullen grumbled again. "We're missing all the mushy good parts."
Whatever they were saying, he started to smile more, and she stopped whacking and poking him as he held her, and then she laughed at something he said. "Come on Bones, I'll buy you a cheeseburger," he said, then went and got his jacket. "Or maybe a double cheeseburger," he added, waggling his eyebrows at her.
She whacked him again, but now she was smiling, and she hadn't thrown her whole weight into it this time. "And a double order of fries, and my own chocolate milkshake," she ordered, as he ushered her out of his office, his hand at her back and beaming as bright as the sun. She was glowing, too, her earlier anger replaced by that ineffable glow of pregnancy. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed it earlier this week when I saw them at the lab.
"Whatever you say, Bones, whatever you say." He followed her out to the elevator, all of our heads turning as the door opened, they got in, and then he picked her up, yelling "Twins!" The last thing we saw was her smiling and whacking him as she said, "Booth! Put me down!"
"Wow." I said.
"Nice eye in the lobby," said Sam Cullen, clapping me on the shoulder. "I wouldn't have missed that for the world."
We all turned to Jack, who'd gone over to borrow Charlie's computer. It was quiet, the same air of anticipation hanging heavy as it did, the last few times. Charlie, meanwhile, was looking smug-- like he knew something.
Jack finished bringing the spreadsheet up, and scrolled through, after typing in the date and location. His eyes widened, and he turned around, looking at Charlie. "Wow, man, you changed your bet just last week, how did you know?
Charlie laughed before saying, "I've got five sisters, all older than me, and they all have kids. You start to get a sense for these things."
"Well, man, congratulations. There's $20,000.00 in the kitty." Damn. How did the pool get so big? People must have put in more than one bet. There was a massive inhalation from him and the crowd, and Charlie whooped, then got up and ran over to his girlfriend, Sherrill, who worked down in dispatch. "Baby! Now we can have that big church wedding, just like we wanted!" He picked her up and twirled her around, much as Agent Booth-Brennan had with his wife, just moments ago.
Jack was smiling, and shaking his head. "Twins, man, who knew?" He paused, thinking, as we all settled down. He finished, then climbed up on Charlie's desk.
"Okay, multiple categories. Due date, identical or fraternal, if fraternal, same sex or mixed. There will be a separate pool for baby names, both by actual name and by either traditional and overtly religious or obscure and anthropologically significant." There was a ripple of laughter rolling over the group, and people started lining up, pulling out their wallets and purses. Charlie and Sherrill were still off in a corner, making out for all the world to see.
Sam Cullen just shook his head, and I got in line behind him. "Twins tend to come early," he muttered. "And Booth has a fraternal twin brother Jared." Wait. How'd he know that? I've got to do more research this time.
"Jack?" I called.
"How long's the pool going to be open?"
"Initial entry has to be within two weeks of today. But you can change your bet twice, any time after that. Same as always."
I stepped out of the line, and headed back to my office. To look up anthropologically significant, fraternal, mixed gender baby names. The mixed gender was my wild card, but I knew one thing-- if he got her pregnant with twins, there was no way he wasn't going to give in on calling them whatever she wanted. I wondered where to begin. Greek mythology? Hmm. Maybe Vedic hymns. Yeah. Vedic hymns. That was almost obscure enough for her. I was so going to win this next round.
"Temperance, twins? Really?" he asked, as soon as he put her down inside the elevator. He was glowing with joy. "I mean, I knew we agreed we'd do it today, after you had your appointment, but really, Bones? Twins?"
She smiled, then pulled his head down to kiss him. "Yes, Seeley, twins, really. Do you want to know the genders? We can find out in another month or so."
He shook his head. "No, I want it to be a surprise. You seed the pool next time, just don't tell me, okay?"
She nodded, agreeing. "I'm glad Charlie will get his big wedding, now."
Booth smiled. "Five sisters, four brothers, and fifteen nieces and nephews? And Sherrill's got five siblings, too. They needed the money just to feed the close family."
Bones smiled in response. "You're a good man, looking into that. I hope they invite us, if I'm not too fat to waddle into the church by then. And I'm still annoyed about having to postpone our trip to Africa."
Booth pulled her in for another kiss as the elevator hit the ground floor, and started to open. "Like I said, Bones, we'll go as soon as they can fly. And I think you're gorgeous, no matter what. But, Bones! Twins!"
"You already said that," she smirked. "Let's go, I'm hungry. You promised me that burger and fries, remember?"
"Whatever you want, Bones. Whatever you want. Twins!"