A Teamwork-Inducing, Character-Building Road Trip, As Hosted by Xemnas, Superior of Organization XIII

Disclaimer: Okay. I own nothing that I listen in the previous chapter, nor do I own Extra Strength Tylenol, Advil, Walt Disney or the hitchhiker whose identity you will learn in the next chapter.
A/N: Okay, speaking of the hitchhiker - if you can guess who he is, and you leave a review with your guess, and you're right, you get a cookie that Zexion baked earlier that day, before the Org left for their trip. I think it's kind of obvious. Who he is, I mean. Okay, so, leave a review anyway, please, even if you don't know who he is, and enjoy! I sure enjoyed writing it! -hugs Demyx-

Chapter Two: How Exactly Did He Get Into the Organization?

And so it began. Organization XIII’s torturous road trip to Disneyland Orlando proved to be just that as the minutes dragged on. Saïx spent a good half-hour in the washroom while Xemnas remained his usual brooding self in the back of the RV, the other members entertaining themselves in various ways.

Near the front of the vehicle, numbers two and ten were playing their twenty-third game of poker. “Hahaha; I win again!” Luxord grinned widely, beginning to reshuffle his deck of playing cards.

Xigbar looked like a giant tomato with an eyepatch, his face was so red. “UNCOOL, MAN. THAT FREAKING GAMBLER NOBODY KEPT ON TELLING YOU MY HAND.” He yelled angrily.

“Oh, don’t be a sore loser now, Xiggy.” Luxord tutted, shaking his head.

“I WANT A REMATCH. GET RID OF THAT THING AND DON’T CALL ME XIGGY.”

Demyx remained quite silent, save for the occasional giggle, as he ignored the gambling men behind him and instead concentrated on poking the back of Lexaeus’ head with a pencil every other second.

“Just keep driving, just keep driving, just keep driving...” Lexaeus mumbled to himself, his heart rate increasing dangerously.

“Larxennnne...” Marluxia gasped, staring at the map.

“What? Why are you talking to me?” the Savage Nymph snapped angrily.

“Because you’re the only person in this RV who isn’t currently occupied with something else,” Marluxia replied without taking his eyes off of the map.

Larxene began to say something, pointing at Zexion, but then she closed her mouth as she realized that he was still engrossed in his Sudoku. She sighed irritably, “Fine. What do you want?”

“Look at this number twelve. Our route goes straight through Bloomsview Gardens!” Marluxia grinned, pointing out a tiny flower symbol on the large map.

Larxene sighed and rolled her eyes. “The only time you act as gay as you look is when there’s colourful vegetation involved.” Marluxia ignored her and continued to trace a path across the map with his finger.

With a gasp, he stood up and beamed widely. “We can stop by the Butterfly Sanctuary. Do you know how many rare flowers there are in the Butterfly Sanctuary? GUYSSSSSS!” Larxene slammed her palm onto her forehead, groaning.

Suddenly, a loud yelp echoed through the large vehicle, as Xaldin jumped up out of his seat, the front of his robe sizzling ominously. Vexen was staring at him, wide eyed, an empty beaker in his hands.

“It was an accident?” he gulped, the sentence coming out as a question rather than a statement. Xaldin’s eyes gleamed angrily as he summoned his spears. “IT WAS AN ACCIDENT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT IT WAS A- PUT THOSE AWAY!” the Chilly Academic screamed, his eyes wide in fright. One of the spears began inching toward him, and he sunk as far back into his seat as he possibly could.

“Number three, put your weapons away, please,” Xemnas moaned, holding his head. He winced as there came a retching sound from the washroom – Saïx was sick again. “I have a terrible headache, and number four’s screaming isn’t helping.”

Hearing this, Demyx immediately dropped his pencil and hurried to the back of the RV, searching his pockets frantically. “Guess what I have?” he grinned, pulling out a tiny bottle, similar in shape to the Pepto Bismol one he had unearthed earlier. Xemnas remained silent, simply staring at him in disbelief. Demyx took this as a prompt to continue, so he unscrewed the cap of the bottle and shook two tiny tablets onto his hand. “Extra Strength Tylenol!”

Axel and Roxas both looked up from their Boggle game, and began watching the scene with amused expressions on their faces.

“...I prefer Advil.” Xemnas said slowly, obviously trying to avoid taking any medication Demyx gave him whatsoever.

“You know what? I have that too!” Demyx beamed, reaching into his pocket again and unearthing another small bottle.

“What the hell are you, Demyx? A walking pharmacy?” Axel snorted, looking at the abandoned medication bottles that the Melodious Nocturne had left on their table in order to force-feed the Advil to Xemnas.

“My mommy always told me to be – just open your mouth, and it’ll be fine – prepared.” Demyx explained, trying to pry the Superior’s teeth apart with his gloved hands. He finally succeeded, and, doing so, summoned a ball of water on the palm of his hand, dropped the pills into it, and stuck it in Xemnas’ mouth. “Now swallow!”

“MRNF!” Xemnas choked, trying to spit out the water. Demyx calmly plugged his boss’ nose so that he had no other choice but to swallow. “YOU IMBECILE!” the Superior screamed as soon as he had done so.

“Sticks and stones, sir.” Demyx said, his hand on his heart. “You’ll be thanking me later.” And with that, he walked back to the front of the RV, picked up his pencil, and resumed his poking of Lexaeus’ neck.

“Um, Superior, sir, if I may...?” Roxas asked, still watching Demyx with a look of disbelief mixed with humour on his face.

“Yes?” Xemnas seethed.

“Uh...” Roxas continued, watching Xemnas nervously out of the corners of his eyes, “how exactly did he get into the Organization?”

“I don’t recall, number thirteen.” Xemnas muttered, his teeth clenched. “I do not recall.”

It took a few minutes, but soon everyone in the RV was relatively calm again. Xaldin had reluctantly taken his seat once more, but only after Lexaeus had stopped the vehicle, and Vexen had tearfully emptied his entire store of chemicals out into the sands of the desert that they were driving through.

“That has got to be the cruellest thing you’ve ever done.” Vexen pouted, giving Xaldin the cold shoulder.

“What about the time he used Saïx’s face for target practice?” Luxord asked, sniggering.

“Or that time he missed SaÏx’s face and got me in the eye instead?” Xigbar questioned, pointing to his eyepatch. He turned back to face Luxord, and his mouth dropped open as the Gambler of Fate showed him his cards. “You won again?”

Xemnas murmured to himself, burying his head in his hands. “I can’t believe it. Why did I hire these idiots?” Just then, Saïx emerged from the washroom, his face deathly pale and tinged with a sickly green colour.

“Urrgh...” he groaned, plopping down in his seat next to his boss. Xemnas’ expression softened the slightest bit as he looked his second-in-command over, frowning

“Are you going to be alright...?” he asked hesitantly. Saïx fish a pen out of his robe and grabbed a piece of toilet paper that had been stuck to his shoe. He took the lid off of the writing utensil and scribbled down a quick message. As long as I don’t open my mouth, I think so. Xemnas nodded in understanding.

Axel kept his eyes on Saïx for another minute before he was sure that both he and Xemnas were okay for the moment, then opened his mouth to speak. “So, um, Superior – remind me again – why aren’t we just using portals to get to Disneyland Orlan-”

“ROAD TRIPS BUILD CHARACTER, NUMBER EIGHT!” Xemnas screamed angrily, sending a drizzle of spit at the two best friends. Roxas whimpered and threw himself over the Boggle set as Axel stared that their leader nervously. He obviously wasn’t okay.

“Right.” The red-head said quickly, turning back to face Roxas. “Holy shit.” He mouthed, his eyes wide. Roxas nodded in agreement, then uncovered the beloved game he had attempted to protect. “Good job,” Axel grinned, noticing that it was completely unharmed. “Okay, new game?”

“Yeah, definitely.” Roxas picked up his pencil and pad of paper, and flourished them melodramatically. Axel shook his head in mirth as he wobbled the Boggle box, mixing up the letters.

“Ready?” The Flurry of Dancing Flames asked, setting down the box and covering it with his hand. Roxas nodded and picked up the tiny blue hourglass from the table, waiting for Axel’s signal to flip it. “Go!” Roxas turned over the hourglass and both nobodies began to write.

Car, get, dinner – ooh, good one – jug, fire, Axel grinned as he wrote down the last one.

Boss, mad, dinner – hey, that’s pretty good – hat, mink, key, Roxas snickered as he scribbled down the latter.

Bug, mice, sing...

Gin, mark, sushi...

Tiny, free, tarp, sexy... Axel’s eyes strayed from his paper and landed on Roxas. He had the back of his pencil in his mouth, taking it out every so often to write a word, and then replacing it seconds later. Axel shook his head to clear his thoughts, then went back to looking for words. Pound, term...

Pond, tree, carp, sexy... Roxas’ eyes flickered up towards Axel, who seemed to be concentrating very hard. The key-bearer smiled as he noticed the cute way his friend fingered his bottom lip as he thought. Roxas blinked, then went back to the game. Tin, eight...

Axel glanced up at the hourglass and quickly covered the Boggle box with his hand. “TIME!”

Roxas looked up as well, and grinned. “Let’s add up the score, then.” He said, setting down his pencil. Axel mirrored Roxas’ actions, then held took the key-bearer’s paper and laid it down on the table in front of them along with his own. He began counting points in his head as he went along the list, blushing slightly as he noticed that Roxas had gotten ‘sexy’ as well. Was it wrong for him to be thinking that about his best friend? He turned his head slightly to the side and realized that Roxas was blushing as well.

“What’s up?” Axel asked curiously, indicating the blonde’s pink cheeks. Roxas’ blush intensified, but he dismissed the fact with a nonchalant wave of his hand. Axel shrugged and went back to adding up the points. After another minute, he swore under his breath. Before Roxas could have any reaction to his friend’s profanity (gloating, perhaps, as he had just realized that he had won, which explained the swearing), Demyx suddenly appeared right beside their table and shoved a jar under Axel’s nose.

“Pay up, Axel!” Demyx said, a disapproving look on his face.

“Pardon me?” Axel asked in confusion, looking up. Demyx shook the jar, rattling the small change inside.

“Put one munny in the Profanity Jar, Axie. You swore, you naughty thing!” Demyx shook his head, ashamed. Axel stared at him in disbelief.

“You’re kidding, right?” he blinked. Roxas covered his mouth, trying to disguise his obvious snickering. Axel shot him a quick glare, then looked back at Demyx.

“Oh no. Xiggy already owes me fifty munny-” he leaned forward so that he could whisper in Axel’s ear, “-he keeps on losing against Luxord at the front, you see. And he’s not very good about it.”

“I HEARD THAT, YOU LITTLE PANSY!” Xigbar’s furious yell sounded from the front of the RV. He had obviously lost another game, as Luxord was grinning maniacally while he reshuffled his deck of cards.

“Aaaanyway...” Demyx said, shaking the jar again expectantly.

“I’m not paying you, Demyx.” Axel scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Oh yes you are.”

“Oh no I’m not.” Axel insisted, crossing his arms. “There is no law indicating that I can’t swear when I choose to.”

“He’s right, you know.” Roxas shrugged, backing his best friend up. Axel grinned at him.

Demyx huffed angrily, then walked away, muttering, “Walt Disney would be ashamed...” under his breath.

“WE’RE NOT DISNEY CHARACTERS!” Everybody in the bus – save Saïx, who had frantically written it down on his piece of toilet paper instead to avoid dashing for the washroom once more, and Demyx – yelled at the tops of their lungs.

“Geez. You really are a tough bunch.” Demyx frowned, plopping himself back down in his seat.

Lexaeus looked away from the road for a moment, and, ignoring Demyx as he once again began poking the Silent Hero with his pencil, turned to face Marluxia. “Number eleven, which way next?”

“Umm... well... I think we should make a stop somewhere soon – to get food, you know – so turn left at the next chance you get, okay?” the Graceful Assassin said hesitantly, obviously hiding something. Larxene peered over the back of his seat to get a good view of the map, then groaned.

“Marluxia, you only want to stop because there a florist near the McDonald’s.” She said, rolling her eyes.

“NOT TRUE!” Marluxia insisted loudly, quickly covering the map. Zexion looked up from his Sudoku for a moment, only to shake his head disapprovingly at the bickering duo and then go right back to work.

“Superior! Number eleven’s trying to steer us off course!” Larxene called out, facing Xemnas and pointing an accusing finger at the aforementioned pink-haired man.

“I am NOT!” Marluxia said angrily, narrowing his eyes at the Savage Nymph.

“Superior!” Larxene shouted even louder, ignoring Marluxia’s furious retorts.

Xemnas, on the other hand, was rubbing his head and moaning. “Will somebody please get those two to shut the fuck up?”

Demyx gasped, his eyes wide. Saïx looked torn – should he help his master, or avoid sickness? Larxene and Marluxia, however, took one look at Xemnas’ face and his wishes were immediately granted.

Lexaeus rolled his eyes and then quickly made a left turn, as he had been instructed by Marluxia. He didn’t care where it led them, he just wanted to get out of the stupid RV and away from the other members of the Organization, for a little while, at least. Suddenly, he noticed a flicker of black in the distance, contrasting hugely with the yellow sands of the desert. He furrowed his brow and drove on, wondering what the speck was.

After another two minutes or so, the RV began to slow down as Lexaeus gently pushed on the brakes. Everyone looked up, wondering why he was stopping. For all they could see, there was still nothing outside their windows but a wide expanse of desert.

“Why are you stopping, number five?” Xemnas asked, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“There appears to be... a person at the side of the road. Looks like he’s hitchhiking.” Lexaeus answered, stopping the RV fully. “Should I let him in?” he asked, spinning around in his seat to look at the Superior. Xemnas sighed, then gave a curt nod.

“Oh this is going to be so cool I bet he’s from another world!” Demyx grinned in excitement, all traces of his former bad mood gone.

Lexaeus rolled his eyes again, then opened the door of the RV with the control next to him. “Hey, you! Need a ride?” he called out to the man on the pavement beside the vehicle, who hastily put down his raised thumb.

“Yeah, thanks,” the man said, climbing into the RV. He surveyed the inside of the vehicle quickly, obviously getting a shock. “Whoa.” He said, realizing that the people he had joined were not normal travellers.

“HIIIIIIII!” Demyx squealed, unable to contain his ecstasy any longer and attacking the newcomer with a hug. “We are so going to be BFFs!”

The spiky-haired blonde man froze, his eyes wide. “Wh-what the... what the fuck?”

Demyx immediately went rigid, and pulled away from the stranger. “Y-you...” his eyes filled up with tears. “WE WERE GONNA BE TOGETHER FOREVER!” he wailed. He picked up the Profanity Jar from where he had left it on Xigbar and Luxord’s card table, and shook it in front of the blonde’s face. “WHY, MAN? WHYYYY?” he cried. Then, without warning, he crumpled to the ground and began to sob into his hands.

There was an awkward cough, originating from somewhere near the back of the RV, and then utter silence as everybody stared at the bawling Demyx.