|Three Weddings and a Funeral
Author: King in Yellow PM
Contents: A Civil Ceremony is barely civil. The Atypical Jewish Wedding is indeed atypical. Making Up Is Hard to Do for Wade and Joss. A Funeral in the Family for Nana Possible. All's Fair in Love is a warning to stay out of Joss's way. Best Enemies series.Rated: Fiction M - English - Family - Chapters: 18 - Words: 49,500 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 05-30-09 - Published: 07-29-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4432069
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.
NoDrogs created the twins, whose origin was altered in my stories.
This first wedding is set after Kim's senior year in college. The final chapter of R-E-S-P-E-C-T mentions this conversation.
Wedding 1 – Keeping the Ceremony Civil, part 1
"Frankly, I think all religion is a pile of crap."
Shego sighed and looked across the booth at Justine. "All I know is that finding out I was Jewish, when I didn't even know it, helped me to-"
"It gave you a crutch, you didn't need religion."
"I'm sorry," the thin blond woman told her, "but I really didn't ask you here to talk about religion."
"I just asked why you didn't plan on a religious ceremony."
"I know, and I'm telling you why I don't want one."
"Okay, but give me a minute for a hypothetical before I get back to your question."
"Okay, accept the possibility that a god might exist for a minute. Can you do that?" Justine nodded again, but her manner showed she was suspicious. "Now, we'll accept that most people who claim to talk with god are delusional. But if there were a god, and he revealed himself to someone, that individual would have proof for god's existence - right?"
"I'd say they're all delusional. But I'll accept that - in the hypothetical universe where your hypothetical god exists. But you couldn't tell the person with the real experience from the lunatics."
"True enough," Shego admitted. "I'm just saying divine revelation would be definite proof of existence. Agreed?"
"Agreed," Justine said with obvious suspicion. "But I'm not agreeing divine revelation has happened. I'm just agreeing that if there were a god there could be such a thing as divine revelation. I'm not agreeing there is."
"That's fine," Shego assured her. "Now, is absence of proof the same as proof of absence?"
"I don't follow you."
"You can't prove there's a hairbrush on my dresser. Does that prove there is no brush?"
"That's stupid, I can check your dresser."
"Okay, life on Venus."
"No life as we know it can exist on Venus."
"I didn't say life as we know it… Hey, I like this. I'll grant that no life we know can exist on Venus. Fine. But does that prove life different from what we know can't exist on Venus?"
Justine thought for a minute, "Okay, absence of proof is not proof of absence."
"Thank you for conceding the point. So if that hypothetical god existed, and people had no proof, it wouldn't mean god didn't exist - right?"
"That is the lamest-"
"I'm just saying agnosticism, not knowing if god exists or not, is rational. Right or wrong?"
"I don't know where you're going with this," Justine said slowly, "but I don't like it. Okay, agnosticism is rational."
"Thank you. Now, divine revelation would be a proof of god's existence. Lack of proof doesn't prove god doesn't exist so agnosticism is rational. But how does one prove god doesn't exist? It seems to me that, if there were a god, she-"
"She?" Justine smiled.
"For sure. If there were a god she would be beyond regular human understanding. You'd need a special revelation to know god existed. In the lack of that divine revelation – or what you can accept as special revelation - agnosticism makes sense. But to say god doesn't exist? Wouldn't that take the same level of something beyond human experience to establish proof? The only way to defend god doesn't exist is by divine revelation." The green woman took a sip of wine and grinned at Justine.
The younger woman shook her head in disgust. You're definitely thinking like a lawyer."
"It wasn't a compliment."
"For me, it was. Now, back to your question. Justices of the Peace can perform weddings, but I don't know if we have any around here. Ship captains performing weddings is fiction. But, yeah, judges can perform weddings. I think they mostly do it in their offices at the court house, but they could do it anywhere, I guess."
"Your friend, the one who was at your wedding, think I could get her for a wedding?"
"Judge Armstrong? You'd have to ask her yourself. I'm guessing she'd do it for you in chambers."
"Her judge office at the court house."
"Could she do it other places? Could we use the loft at your place?"
"Hey, you've lived there for two years. I think you can count it as your place too until they finish the house you're building. When are you planning on the wedding?"
"Later this summer. The day Felix and I are ready to move in to our place. Wedding at your place, trash it during the party afterwards, then retreat to our own home."
Shego laughed. Justine has loosened up a bit in the last two years, but the woman was as obsessive-compulsive as Bonnie, only in different ways. "Hey, why do you need to get married? If religion is garbage you don't have to worry about living in sin."
"Would you like legal recognition of you and Kim together?"
"Okay, law student, why?"
"Kim gets injured, her family could keep me from visiting her in the hospital-"
"Like they'd do that."
"Like they could," Shego snorted. "but they could legally try. She gets killed I couldn't keep the twins. I get hit by a semi after we stagger out of here and my folks could keep my money from her. If-"
"See, you don't have to believe in god to believe in marriage."
"Hey, I was just getting started. I got a long list in my class on family law. But, point taken."
"Thank you. Would you ask the judge for me? Or at least ask when I should call her? I don't want to disturb her at a bad time. Not the way to acquire optimal results."
"I'll ask, got to do something to earn my retainer. Oh, by the way, you're buying."
"That's what I figured."
There was a long pause before Shego brought up her worry. "Look, one of the reasons that Kim and I can get along without strangling each other is because we recognize that our religious views are important to both of us. She supports my Judaism. I support her Christianity. I'm worried in a relationship where one person may not respect the other's beliefs." Justine frowned slightly, and Shego guessed she might have hit a nerve, "Now, if you were one of those Bible-thumpers who claimed you had to be baptized in their church building and believe all six hundred and sixty-six things their pastor taught or you'd burn in hell, you'd be pretty obnoxious to be around. Right?"
"I'm not allowed to say, 'Oh, God,' am I? Because if I was, I'd say it. I had one of them in a class at MIT. And—"
"In a class at MIT?"
"They're not all total loons. Or at least not total loons in everything. You can be a good engineer and an obnoxious jerk. At Berkeley there were guys who'd show up on campus with bull horns and tell us all we were going to hell. Talk about idiots."
"And idiots and obnoxious jerks aren't limited to those who abuse others with their religious views. You can abuse others with anti-religious views too."
Justine flushed with anger, perhaps the strongest emotion Shego had ever witnessed in the tall woman, "THAT'S NOT TRUE!"
"You sound just like the thumpers when someone questions them." Justine struggled to bring herself under control. "Is that what you and Felix have been fighting about?"
"Fighting? We haven't been fighting."
Shego rolled her eyes. "And in denial too. The tension between you has been so thick lately you can cut it with a knife. Is it about religion?"
"Honestly… I think. I think he agrees with me. We never—"
"Well, you should. So what are you 'tense' about if you aren't fighting."
"No! I don't want to have any kids. Felix says he wants a son."
"You don't want to have any kids?"
"No… Let's face it. My parents did a lousy job with me. I've got no social skills. I'd be the world's worst mother."
"You're good with the twins."
"Doesn't count – they aren't mine. I can play with them or I can hand them to someone else and not worry about them."
"I can see that," Shego agreed.
"Now it's great that you and Kim wanted kids—"
Shego held up a hand to quiet Justine. "Actually, I may be like you. I'm not sure I wanted kids. Hell, I'm not sure Kim really wanted kids. She was crazy with grief at the time and not thinking clearly. Now I love them, can't imagine life without them. But I'll back you on your right to chose. You shouldn't have kids on speculation, hoping you might decide to love them."
"So you agree with me."
"Mostly. But you need to talk honestly with Felix. And he needs to talk with you honestly. If it is so important to him that he won't marry unless you agree to try and have kids, or so important to you that you won't marry unless he agrees no kids you've got no business getting hitched."
"Will you sit down with us and mediate?"
Shego sighed. "I'll try. Mediator is different from advocate. Advocate I speak for you – and mediator tries to be fair to both sides. Which do you want?"
Justine hesitated. "Mediator, I guess."
"Okay, I'm willing to try. Two conditions. First, I can only act as mediator if Felix accepts me in the role. If he doesn't trust me I can't do it." Justine nodded. "Okay, second, I'm going to tell you when we meet… Hell, I'm going to tell Felix too, that neither of you know the future. In five years, or ten, both of you may have different ideas. In five years you may decide you want kids – or in five years he may agree with you. Can you recognize that's true?"
"I'm not going to—"
"You know the future too?"
"Fine," Justine snapped. "Maybe in five years I'll change my mind, but I don't think so."
"I'm not asking you to change your mind," Shego reminded her. "I'm just reminding you people can change. Hell, I'm the poster child for life is a crapshoot. Maybe in five years I'll have a bull horn on the Berkeley campus screaming at students to surrender their lives to Allah.