Naruto fanfiction war: Sai-kun the dick lover.

Tsunade cleared her throat, checked her nails, looked at the mirror then sat in front of...him.
"SAI! I'm choosing you to write a fanfiction of whatever you like, genre, rating, plot, you choose. Of all the team members you're the only good one left...besides Neji who just turned gay a few days ago after you gave him that stupid Achi achi book."

Oh yeah, I didn't say anything about that sort of stuff didnt' I? Well, Achi achi is for women, Icha icha is for men, Icha achi is for bisexual people.

"...Still if he's one of the best why not him?"

"Because...of his room..."

Neji's room

2 anbu men broke down the door accidentally and literally crushing Hanabi into a pancake.

The anbu men stood still absorbing everything around his room, their eyes didn't move, they stood still as their head moved absorbing the sight of posters. The posters were all gay naked men.

Neji...he was on his bed. Nude...no pervert, he's just dancing! Jesus Christ!

"Oooh ooh! I'm too sexy for my shirt! Too sexy for my shirt!"

"My god young man!!" Shouted the anbu man with a squirrel mask, yay squirrel!

"OH MY GOD!! That's my fav. song!!" Said the anbu man that stood on the door crushing poor Hanabi.

"God...please...have mercy..." Hanabi breathed out. She was dying in a puddle of blood she was now so flat that a piece of paper was jealous of her.

"Come on in!" Neji said to the anbu guys. The guy with the squirrel mask ran away and the guy with the Tom Nook mask stayed.

"Oooh ooh oooh!" Neji sang as he slapped his own butt. The anbu man couldn't take it anymore and danced with him but that dance was quite dangerous...know why?

Neji got turned on so did the anbu dude but it's not that bad, for some reason. The anbu dude was able to get pregnant! It was just a few weeks ago...

Sigh...the the anbu man became so emotional that he had a heart attack and died, Neji was in a state of depression and stayed in his bed for days.

Back to Tsunade's office

"Why don't you send a anbu lesbian instead?" Sai asked.

"I did but she became bisexual."

"Oh..." He looked at the ground tapping his foot.

"Well? Aren't you gonna do it?" She asked. Sai smiled at her. A bit of a perverted one...or maybe just weird one like Ichimaru from Bleach.

Outside

Sai carried a package of books. He got like 6 huge packages and he was laughing and singing "Dicks, dicks, dicks, dicks, DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!"

Finally he got home and sat in front o' his computer.

Forbidden love by Dicky

Rated M

Genre: Romance

Summary: Love is overrated...heck I don't know what the hell overrated means but there's a rare love that it can be either truth or death.

It's another year that I compete in the swimming marathon. I was ready in my banana hammock.

"The race is gonna start!" My coach grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the dressing room. I was excited that I set my own hand free and ran outside.

I prepared myself and my heart raced...but suddenly...it raced faster as soon as I saw a man with the best set of abs I've ever seen. The banana hammock he was using was XXXXXX L even with such a large size it looked like it was about to burst then I saw his face. He was the most handsome man I ever seen.

"GO!!" The man announced (AN: I forgot what that kind of person is called)

I just stared and couldn't move. He was the fastest, faster than me, I guess...

"What the hell are you doing, Sai?! COME ON!! MOVE IT!!" My coach shouted. I still couldn't move even with my coach pushing me along with most of my fans.

Soon the race ended and that man won.

"This year's prize goes to...UCHIHA ITACHI!!" So Itachi's his name huh? He just grabbed the prize and didn't show any emotions, he just walked away.

"HEY WAIT!!" I ran after him.

"What?" He asked.

I stood there stuttering, his eyes were so beautiful but so cold.

"Hello?" CRAP!! I didn't know what to say, oh god why? Why didn't I think of something to tell him!? I gotta think of something quickly!

"Uh...N-n-nice j-ob...w-winning t-the r-r-race." That was all I could say.

"Hmph." He walked away from me...I felt so stupid, I wanted to punch myself and I did as soon as he was out of my sight.

"SAI!!" My coach punched me "WHY DIDN'T YOU MOVE?!"

I rubbed my sore cheek and didn't say anything...I would tell him if only he wasn't homophobic...nor my father...

(Sai's the one talking here) I hope that you liked this chap and don't say that I made up about the XXXXXX large banana hammock because it is real! I was reading this book about the human body and there was a man with a dick that large...hahaha...oh dicks...

Reviews:

dreamer789

...Uh...quite scary...I never knew that yaoi fangirls could be this scary...

Review reply:

I'm a boy...

My PM to him:

O.O

His PM:

Please don't spam my inbox.

A few days later

Itachi killed Sai.

The end!

It took me a while to come up with something like this till I was watching Scrubs with my big broda(yes, I spelled it wrong but I call him broda) and we were watching a episode when Todd shows JD his banana hammock closet.

I don't know what to write about in the next chapter, you my dear reader. Drop in the review option the name of the next person you want me to write about and by the way, the naruto world characters are like suppose to be real and we don't know that so I didn't even know Sai, Kakashi, and Naruto themselves wrote it...well in this fic.