“Hobbes, it’s horrible!"

“Hobbes, it’s horrible!” Calvin shouted, running up to Hobbes who was resting against a tree.

“What happened?” Hobbes asked without a change of expression. “The Joker killed Batman in the all new episodes?”

“No!”

“They’ve canceled the new edition of Captain Napalm?”

“No, though I have heard rumors that they have canceled it!”

“Miss Wormwood’s given you extra homework?”

“Come on Hobbes! It’s even worse!”

“WalMart has stopped selling Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs?

“No! But mom says that she might stop buying them!”

“Your dad told you to wash the dishes, clean the oven, wipe the floor and rake the leaves in the yard so that you can build your character?”

“No! But I would rather do that than have to Rosalyn baby-sit me!”

“Your moms forbid you to- WHAT?! ROSALYN’S COMING TO BABY-SIT!”

Calvin rubbed his ears.

“Jeez,” Calvin said, rubbing his ears. “You don’t have to shout. You’re hurting my ears.”

“Forget about your dumb ears! Why didn’t you tell me before that Rosalyn was coming?!”

“ROSALYN’S COMING TO BABY-SIT?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT BEFORE?!”

Hobbes stared at Calvin.

“You told me that,” he said, pointing at Calvin.

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.”

No I didn’t!”

“Yes, you did!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“DID TOO!”

“DID NOT!”

And this went on practically for an hour, until Calvin screamed at the top of his lungs, “DID TOO!”

“Fine, have it your way,” Hobbes said simply.

“Oh shut up!” Calvin shouted. “Let’s go into my room and plan how to get rid of Falcon!”

“You mean Rosalyn,” Hobbes said.

“That’s what I said.”

“No, you said Falcon.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes you did.”

“No I didn’t!”

“Yes you did!”

“Did n- Oh, let’s not start this again! Come on!”

Calvin and Hobbes were in their tree house and were wearing paper hats.

“This G.R.O.S.S meeting has come to order!” Calvin said. “Dictator-for-life Calvin presiding!”

Hobbes clapped.

“First, let President and First Tiger Hobbes give our report today.”

Hobbes stood up.

“My dear members,” he said importantly, puffing out his chest. “I have found out that the evil baby-sitter, Rosalyn, shall baby-sit us!”

Calvin and Hobbes acted like the rest of the IMAGINARY G.R.O.S.S members. They banged their fist on the small table Calvin had found in the attic and shouted a lot of things.

“WHAT?! WE CAN’T ALLOW THIS!”

“LET’S KILL HER, I SAY! KILL HER!”

“SHE’S GOING TO SIT ON US LIKE BABIES!”

“WHY ELSE ARE THEY CALLED BABY-SITTTERS, YOU IDIOT!”

“Calm down!” Calvin shouted, banging his fist on the table.

Hobbes stopped ranting.

“It looks like our attacks on her haven’t convinced her to stay away,” Calvin continued. “So that means we should take this attack to a new level!”

He laughed evilly.

Hobbes laughed evilly.

They both laughed hysterically and evilly.

“You know it’s hard to laugh on a empty stomach,” Hobbes suddenly said, rubbing his stomach.

“Oh, shut up!” Calvin shouted. “Let’s go plan our super attack!”

“I’ll fix up a few sandwiches while you’re writing the blueprints,” Hobbes said.

“Keep it up, and I’m going to demote you to a junior spy.”

“So what’s the plan?” Hobbes asked.

He could hear Calvin struggling with something on the stairs.

“I’ll tell you- WHERE’S MY SCHOOL BAG!”

“Since when have you been interested in doing your homework?”

“There’s my bag! No! Don’t bite! Don’t bite! I’M GOING TO STUFF YOU INTO MY BAG YOU SLIMY LITTLE MONSTER!”

“Uh, Calvin,” Hobbes said a little anxiously. “What are fighting with?”

“A green rope!”

“What?”

“A smooth green rope!”

“Good. Now if you don’t mind I’m going to jump out of the window and hide in the bushes.”

“Whew! It’s in the bag. Come on Hobbes, it’s harmless,” Calvin said and walked into the room with his school bag.

In that short time Hobbes had piled up bags of cement and was crouching behind it wearing a army helmet and pointing a toy rifle at Calvin.

Calvin blinked.

“I said it was harmless.”

“Do you think I can believe you?” Hobbes said.

“This isn’t for you Hobbes. I’m going to put it into Rosalyn’s shirt!”

“What is it then?” Hobbes said.

Calvin opened his bag and pulled out a-

“AUGH!” Hobbes screeched like a girl. “You’re going to put that in Rosalyn’s shirt!”

“I told you I would take this to a whole new level,” Calvin said, grinning evilly.

“When you said that you would take this to a whole new level I didn’t know you meant putting a snake in her shirt,” Hobbes whispered.

Calvin was lost in his own imagination, a twinkle in his eyes.

“Fear not, Space Cadet Marvin,” he said. “Though this alien who is supposed to look after us is a paid killer from Nephelos, she does not deserve to die. This Fangzine is not poisonous.”

“Oh great,” Hobbes muttered, slapping his forehead. “Just what we needed: Mr. I-shall-reach-to-the-stars.”

The horrible Zog kings want to kill Spaceman Spiff and Space Cadet Marvin at whatever cost. An alien from Nephelos is hired to guard them. But Spiff finds out that she is paid by the Zog kings to kill him and his fellow tiger. He’s has arrived just now.

Outside was the sound of a car and a little later Calvin and Hobbes could hear Rosalyn talking with Calvin’s parents.

“Here she comes,” Hobbes said as they heard Calvin’s parents drive away.

The door slammed shut.

“Calvin!” Rosalyn shouted. “Where are you? If you come down quietly then we’ll make some popcorn.”

“Marvin,” Calvin whispered. “Why do I have a suspicion that the alien killer has a suspicion that we have a suspicion that she is trying to kill us?”

“Uh, because…” Hobbes said with a confused look.

They were at the top of the stairs and saw Rosalyn walking through the hallway.

“Our first attack,” Calvin whispered heroically.

Spaceman Spiff dropped the hissing Fangzine and miraculously, it fell right into the back of the Nephelos guard’s armor.

“Ooooh!” Rosalyn groaned and started scratching her back and feeling a long curvy thing moving in the back of her shirt. She put her hand inside her shirt and pulled out a hissing green snake.

“SNAAAAAAKE!” she screamed and threw the two-feet long snake out of an open window.

“!”

Rosalyn knew that Calvin was a menace but to actually put a snake in her shirt…

The Nephelos guard has thrown the Fangzine away! Now she knows that Spiff and Marvin know who she truly is. They must run and get ready their second part of the plan!

“Fly, Cadet! Fly!” Calvin shouted and raced away.

“No thanks. I think I’ll just stay here and-” Hobbes began.

STOMP!

STOMP!

STOMP!

STOMP!

The sound of Rosalyn stomping up the stairs was almost as loud as her scream.

“On the other hand-”

ZOOM!

The Nephelos Guard is full of rage. But Spiff and Marvin have many other tricks up their sleeves. But now Spiff is worrying if the attacks of the plan will be enough to chase her away. He must continue carrying it out and see.

Calvin and Hobbes burst into Calvin's room and quickly closed the door and pushed a nearby desk against it. Just as the table made contact with the door Rosalyn hurled herself against.

"Keep moving my brave cadet, keep moving!" Spiff shouted.

"I would if you were moving, unless you want me to leave you," he replied.

"What?"

Spiff looked back and saw that the end of his shirt was stuck in the crack of the door. He was running on the same patch he had been running a minute ago.

"Marvin!" Calvin shouted as he tugged at the end of his shirt. "Help me!"

Hobbes and Calvin tugged as the table started moving a few centimeters away from the door. Suddenly, when Rosalyn banged herself against the door it opened four inches thus, setting the end of Calvin's t-shirt free.

Cavin and Hobbes flew back and slammed into the wall.

"Calvin when I catch up with you you will be in big trouble!" Rosalyn shouted, panting from the effort of pushing the door open.

"Quick! Fly!" Calvin shouted heroically and he and Hobbes ran to the open window.

Hobbes climbed out and slid down the pipe.

But Calvin, the O Dramatic One, jumped out of the window.

As a result his t-shirt caught onto one the screws of the pipe. I think his shirt is bad luck.

"By space!" Calvin shouted. "My shirt has caught against the edge of a transportation pipe!"

Hobbes groaned. Then he gasped.

"Calvin look out!" he shouted.

Calvin looked up and gulped at the sight of Rosalyn's angry face leaning over him.

"You're dead kid!" she snarled.

R-I-I-P!

Calvin gasped.

His shirt had ripped of the screw! HE WAS FALLING!

A/N:I know putting a snake in the back of someone’s shirt is violent but you know Calvin, the boy of destruction. I didn’t want to make this chapter long so that it’s a little different from my T.V show. Read and Review!