|Letter 85: An Unkindness of Lucas Scott
Author: Bryan Greenberg PM
If that's the 86th letter from my sad box of Lucas summer, you can keep it." When did Brooke write letters 83-86?Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Brooke D. & Lucas S. - Words: 529 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 08-03-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4446080
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
AN: This was written for the 550th BL thread at the FanForum Spoilers board. Brooke wrote Lucas a letter after she first read his novel.
A year ago you called me when all your dreams were coming true. Your book was going to be published, and I couldn't have been happier for you.
The details of that night are etched into my brain, while your own memories are probably hazy from too much champagne. I can still feel your lips on mine. I wasn't the girl you wanted to be kissing that night, and I certainly wasn't the one you wanted to be celebrating a new "engagement" with; if I hadn't known that then, I wouldn't be able to avoid it now.
"Brooke Davis is brilliant and beautiful and brave. In two years she had changed more than anyone I had ever known. Brooke Davis is going to change the world someday, and she doesn't even know it." When you read those words to me as our senior year was coming to a close, they meant the world to me.
That you thought those beautiful things about me almost made all the pain worth it, almost made up for my parents disinterest. Almost.
I should have known it was too good to be true. With you, it always was. I wasn't prepared for An Unkindness of Ravens. You'd think I would be used to sucker punches by now. I wish you didn't still have the power to bring me to tears.
Your "moment of clarity" was one of the hardest moments of my life. The last thing I wanted to do was push you towards her; I wanted to be the one what was standing next to you not only when your dreams came true, but when your world was falling apart as well. But it was so clear what you wanted. You just didn't want to be responsible for destroying our friendship beyond repair. You never seemed to understand that if we'd ever been the friends we claimed to be, you never could have come between us. We wouldn't have hurt each other as often as we did.
I don't blame you for loving her more. I never really did. But that doesn't make the knowledge that you never really loved me any easier to bare. Why did you have to be so damn convincing? What was it about me that signaled to you that I would be so easy to fool? How can every beautiful thing you ever said to me have been a lie? If I was so brilliant and beautiful and brave, how could you use me like that? Why did you make me love you?
I am proud of you, Luke. I knew even as you broke down in my arms on the river court that you wouldn't let the HCM tear you down. I'm proud that you've achieved this dream, and I will always love you. I just wish I didn't have to know that you never loved me back.