This is a little oneshot about what Elie thinks of her dying in the final battle, as she had been told she would. It doesn't really have a meaning, it's just something I wrote on a whim.

I DON'T own Rave Master.

Hope you enjoy!

Elie's fear

Even though she didn’t know why, a strong feeling suddenly went through her. It was strange and somehow familiar. The wind softly caressed her cold cheek and played silently with her let down hair. But she didn’t really register it. Her mind was concentrating on the feeling. With a mute sob she embraced herself, and closed her hazel eyes to prevent the tears that was about to come. It hurt. It hurt so terribly much, that she thought she would die. Clenching her teeth, she tried to hold back another sob and took a shaky breath. The familiar part of the feeling was fear. Fear and sadness. It wasn’t something she usually would care about, and not anything she by far felt often. Fear only came into view when lightning’s filled the sky and if one of the persons she held dear was in danger. The sadness wasn’t anything that had crossed her mind that much since she had met Haru and the other guys. They had been a light to her; something bright and kind that had saved her from herself. But lately it had trapped her between its merciless claws, making her tears overflow even though she had promised herself she wouldn’t cry again without a tangible reason. She’d been forced to wear a smile, to not make them worried. It was hard sometimes, but she could make it. It wasn’t something she couldn’t get over with time. However, this time it was worse. Another feeling had joined the two others and made it all unbearable for her already shaken up mind. It was hopelessness.

She knew she would die during the last fight, and never be able to see any of her friends again. Not Musica, Not Let, Not Julia, Not Shuda (if she could consider him as a friend) Not Plue, Not Griff… and not Haru. The last thought made her chest-ache more intense. Haru, the first friend she could remember she had had, the first one to ever accept her for the one she was, and not because of her power. Some had said that they shared a strong emotional bond. She didn’t know if they were right. But what she did know, was that those special feelings she held for him, only were getting stronger by the minute. And that she would never be able to express them to him. It wouldn’t be fair for any of them. It would cause too much unnecessary pain, however that was only if he of course felt the same way. Sometimes she doubted it. That kind smile he always seemed to give her, also belonged to anyone else they met on their way, and his concern for her was only that of a dear friend.

After thinking of this, holding back her tears seemed impossible. So she let them go, even though she had promised herself not to, and soon felt them flow down her cheeks. It didn’t ease her pain but on the contrary made it all explode and drown her from the inside. She had broken the mental dam she’d made a long time ago, and couldn’t hold anything back anymore. At a point it made it hard for her to breathe. Gasping for air, she almost didn’t hear the concerned voice yell her name, and the hurried footsteps heading towards her. Her mind became fuzzy and her vision unclear.

“Elie are you okay?!” Harus voice reached her fading mind, and she unconsciously grabbed his shirt for support as her legs started to shake. She felt him put his arms around her and pull her close. She sighed and tried to somehow steady herself in his arms. Her breathing came more easily now, but the tears just kept coming.

“Shhh... It’s okay. I’m here now.” Haru quietly said, and moved his hand in a comforting circle on her back. His other was gently caressing her ruffled hair, and she couldn’t help to, even in the middle of all her tears, wish that themoment could last forever. But of course it couldn’t. Slowly, she ran out of tears. Her body stopped aching, and was instead put in an odd numb state. She sighed again and quietly let go of his shirt. “Elie…?” was his only response. A silent gasp was

heard from him, when she slowly lifted her face to look at him. She knew why, she must look horrible and ugly after crying like that. What he said next however, surprised her.

He gently let his hand fall onto her shoulder and looked shocked at her.

“Your eyes…” He breathed, making her frown. “What’s wrong with them?”

He let go of her without a word and turned around. For a moment she thought he wouldn’t answer, but then, when she was about to turn around and go away, she heard him murmur something. He slowly turned around and then repeated it, this time much firmer. “They’re lifeless… “ She frowned once again, but then looked into his eyes. There she saw, that he was more than right. In her reflection she saw herself, however not with her usually carefree expression. Instead her face was hard and unfriendly with cold eyes that widened slightly in shock upon realizing this. “I… I’m…” She stuttered, not sure what she should say. Haru just looked at her, waiting patiently to hear her problem. Her heart ached once again, and she involuntarily lowered her gaze to his shirt. He then grabbed her hand, something she hadn’t expected at all, and she finally felt her mask break. Tears she didn’t thought she had, started to make their way down her cheeks and finally hit the ground in small drops from her jaw. She finally knew what to say. “I’m sorry.” It came out as a sob, and she looked at him again with a sad smile on her face. He looked surprised, but the worry still lingered under the surface.

She took a deep breath, and embraced him. “I’m going to die, you know?”

“…Elie…” he tried to break free to look at her face, but she stood still; holding her tight grip around him.

“You don’t have to worry; there isn’t anything you can do about it anyway. I’ve been told that I’m going to die in the final fight, to help you guys win… And…” she was interrupted by another sob, but pulled herself together. “I’m happy, that I’ll be useful to you for once… I’m still sad about it, but you see, I’ve known this for a long time… I’ve thought a lot about it, and I think, no I’m sure I could do it if it means you all will survive-“

“Don’t.” He interrupted her, and pulled her even closer. “Don’t say things like that! We’ll make it! Without having to sacrifice you!”

“But Haru-“ She began softy, her face still sad.

“Stop it!” he half-yelled, and she froze, surprised. It was quiet for a while. The only thing she could hear was some muffled sounds from the boy that embraced her. She wondered what it was, but soon got her answer when she felt her shoulder getting wet. It was only then she realized it; Haru was crying. She squeezed his hand and he started to talk once again. “I don’t want to lose you too… No matter what, I’ll protect you; just as I promised! …So don’t you say things like that!” he pulled away, and she felt her chest hurt, when she noticed the expression in his tear-streamed face. “Don’t you believe in me?”

“Of course I do – it’s just…” she fell silent, at a loss for words.

He looked seriously at her. “Do you want to die?!”

She stared at him for a moment, speechless, and then bit her lip. “…No…” It only came out as a whisper.

“Then,” he began and released her so he could cross his arms, and got a firm and stubborn look on his face, “you won’t. I’ll make sure of that.”

She stared at him for a while then nodded. She should have known. He would never let any of his friends get hurt – that was just the way he was. She suddenly felt a bit ashamed. “Thank you. And I’m sorry for doubting you…”

“It’s okay.” He grinned at her.

She smiled faintly, his enthusiasm rubbing off on her. Her gaze then flew up to examine the clear night sky. She hadn’t even noticed it was already this late. She sat down on the deck of the air ship, and stared at the stars. “Beautiful,” she breathed, her eyes still lingering at the sea of stars above them.

“Yeah,” Haru whispered and sat down beside her.

It was silent for a couple of minutes, while they both stared at the dark sky without any thought of anything else.

“You know… Elie…” Haru hesitantly said, making her look at him. “There’s… well… I’ve thought about something…” he still looked at the sky, not daring to meet her curios gaze.

“Okay…?”

“We’ve known each for how long? I’m not sure myself… but… one thing I know is that you’re one of my best friends… andthatIlikeyouverymuch.” He said the last thing so quickly that she couldn’t quite decipher what it was supposed to mean.

She looked questioningly at him, as he finally met her gaze.

“Could you please repeat the last part again? I didn’t quite catch it.”

He took a deep breath. “Elie… I don’t know what you’ll say to this, but I sure as hell hope you won’t reject me…” He took her hands, making them both blush slightly. “I… I really like you…”

She gaped at him with huge eyes. What… what did he say? Her heartbeat was increasing rapidly, making it the only sound she heard. She stared at his flushed face, more than speechless, and tried to make her head work again.

Haru looked nervously at her. She looked shocked. Of course she was. He mentally cursed at himself. Why did he have to blurt it out like that?! And worse, he’d sounded like some sissy from a soap-opera! While continuing to damn himself, he feverishly searched her face for any kind of emotion, other than surprise. He didn’t like her silence one bit. Maybe she was thinking about how she should reject him…? He quickly let go of her hands, and laughed awkwardly. “I’m sorry about that, just forget it, it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way…” He continued his blabbering, not really noticing the look on her face. He was ready to turn and make a leave, but couldn’t since she stopped him by grabbing his shoulder. With a small smile on her face, she then slowly leaned in and pressed her lips against his. He stiffened at first quite shocked, but then gave into her warmth, pulling her closer to deepen the kiss. It just felt right. And for the first time, no matter how corny it may sound, they both felt complete.

When they pulled away, they both were wearing a heavy blush on their faces.

He looked at her, and felt a comfortable warm spread inside him. She smiled back at him. A true and happy smile. She smiled, not because she needed to, but because she wanted to.

They abruptly jumped away from each other at the sound of wolf whistles, and turned to see the deck full of their friends. Musica, who obviously had been the one to whistle, smirked at them together with Julia and Shuda, while Let looked like he was torn between an emotionless face and a shocked one. Griffon had started to cry, and sobbed something about him not being able to see

Elie’s breasts anymore. Ruby looked like he had seen a ghost, and had dropped his lollipop, which Plue had then seen the chance to eat. Haru and Elie blushed bright red and tried to avoid their gazes.

“So you finally confessed, huh?” Came Musicas sly voice. He casually walked over to the now tomato-red Haru and winked. “So how was it? Can you recommend any moves?”

“Shut up!” Haru yelled, still blushing, and hit Musica on the shoulder. Musica made a face. “Aww man, that hurt. How can you treat your friend like that? I was only asking about your great confession-“
”Though it was a bit cliché.” Continued Shuda, the smirk still lingering on his face. “Could the great Rave Master not come up with anything better? You should have seen how I did it with your sister, see THAT is how you say it-“ Shuda smirked, and looked teasingly at the silver haired boy who was boiling with anger. At the mention of his sister he cut him off, yelling “Shuda you bastard!” And started to chase him around the deck.

“You’re a lucky girl.” Julia said to Elie as they both watched the two men with a sweat drop. Elie smiled warmly and nodded. “I know.”