Inspired by the season 5 promo. If you haven't seen it, this contains spoilers. Wilson's POV. Further parts will be from House's POV and maybe other characters. Haven't decided yet.

Walking Away

Wilson drags his body the short distance from the couch to the door. Neither his weight or his dimensions have changed at all during the last month, and yet he feels heavier and slower than before. Everything is achingly cumbersome, like a stream that’s just a few degrees from becoming frozen.

The familiarity of the knock is painful, like every other familiar thing he’s seen and heard lately. It's just another reminder that he needs to leave, and soon.

His resignation -of course- was incessantly mocked by House, who thinks that his friend's grief is just some sort of joke. House of all people attempting to sell the time heals all wounds cliche, is a bit hard to swallow. Wilson isn't going to waste another second of time trying to educate the man on how a normal human being reacts to loss, or to any other life event for that matter. If he hasn't figured it out by now, he never will.

Wilson speaks first. House is just standing there and isn’t bothering to explain his presence, not that he ever does. He just shows up -loud and bright- and expects people to accept him, even when he clashes with everything else.

There’s only one reason he would be here now, and it isn’t to bring Wilson a going away present. Wilson can only assume that he’s planning to continue their earlier argument, about how his desire to quit his job and move out of state is really some passive-aggressive ploy for sympathy.

"I have the right to leave, House...I don’t need your permission."

House’s eyes light up. There’s something there -regret, or perhaps fear. Wilson turns his head so he doesn’t have to see it. If House has regrets, that’s his problem. House having fears -especially if they’re connected to him- is something he’d rather not think about.

"You’re not leaving your job. You’re not even leaving New Jersey. You’re leaving me. At least be honest about it."

Wilson knows that’s true, and he doesn't even feel like he should be ashamed of that fact. House is at least seventy-five percent of the reason that he’s quitting. The other twenty-five percent is that staying at the hospital means being constantly being inundated with things that remind him of Amber. He thinks if he can just get far enough away, it will all be better. He’s in a place now, where he can’t bring himself to care what effect that might have on House. He wants nothing more than to collect himself, while he’s still intact, and exit the scene.

"I have the right to walk away from you, House."

House’s face is blank for a moment. Wilson thinks he might see a thin sheen of tears coat the other man’s eyes. But it’s probably his imagination. Actually, it has to be his imagination. House doesn’t cry and he certainly wouldn’t cry about this. And it’s not like he’s the one that’s grieving.

Wilson tries to close the door. The conversation -as far as he’s concerned- is over. It was over three hours before, when he was still cleaning out his office. Nothing more can be said on either side that will make any sort of difference.

House blocks the progress of the door with his hand, his expression both confrontational and pleading. It’s an odd combination, especially for someone who is usually neither.

"What would it take to make you stay?"

Wilson is more than mildly intrigued. But he also knows that House never makes such offers, unless he’s completely desperate. Inevitably, anything that House offers to do would be slowly withdrawn, once he agreed to stay. House doesn’t sacrifice self, at least not any longer than he has to. Wilson thinks the best thing he can do is extinguish all hope right away. Maybe if House realizes that it’s non-negotiable, he’ll be willing let it go.

"Nothing, House. There’s nothing you can say or do. I’m leaving."

House pushes the door open a little further and Wilson takes a step back. He actually wishes he’d just forced the door shut on House’s hand, injury be damned. At least they’d be done talking. For a split second, he wonders what might happen if he tried to call the cops.

But House is hardly threatening him. Aside from the arm that’s keeping the door open, his posture is strangely humble.

"I...don’t want you to go."

Wilson rolls his eyes. Maybe he’s just a little intimidated by how genuine House sounds right now. House is not the good guy in this equation. Wilson decides to remind him of that fact.

"I’m sure you don’t. Who else will you scam for drugs and get to pay for your meals, clean up after all your legal messes..?"

The blow landed right where he intended and Wilson can see the sting in House’s delayed response, and then the way one eyebrow goes up and stays that way until he asks the question.

"You think...that’s all there is to this?"

Wilson takes another step forward, forcing House to take one back. There’s a hint of a stumble to it, a split second where House’s right leg trembles under his weight. But House grips his cane and finds his footing. Wilson ignores it, doesn’t want to think of House as vulnerable, or even as handicapped. Even if it’s true, it’s not his problem anymore.

"I don’t know, House...and what’s more. I really don’t care."

House’s voice is slightly higher than usual, and slightly broken. It sounds like he’s crying, but he isn’t. His eyes are dry.

"I...care."

"No you don’t. You care now, because I’m leaving. If I stay, nothing will change. You will never change."

"What do you want me to change, Wilson?"

"Forget it...it doesn’t matter. You couldn’t, even if you wanted to."

House looks confused. Over the years, Wilson has made hundreds of recommendations on how he might improve his life. He’s ignored most of it. But he remembers enough to know that Wilson definitely has some opinions on the subject. Surely he could try. Surely he could at least make an attempt to change something.

"I don’t..."

Wilson sighs. He’s tired and he doesn’t want to feel sorry for the other man. The longer they talk, the more chance there is that House will talk him into staying, and he can’t let that happen. The lost expression on House’s face makes it impossible not to feel something, which is all the more reason why he needs to end this now.

"What?"

House’s lips part for a minute and he takes his hand off of the door. He realizes that the fight is over. When there’s nothing left for him to lose but his dignity, it's time to walk away.

"Nothing..."

Wilson watches the other man turn around. For a second, he thinks he should reach out and pat him on the back, squeeze his shoulder, shake his hand -some kind of parting gesture. This might very well be the last time they ever see each other. A hug would be better. But House would never allow it anyway. Wilson’s sure that like every other attempt to reach out to him, it would only be a waste.

"You’ll get over it, House. Just like you get over everything."

House’s back is to him just in time to hide the tears. There are only a few, but that's still too many.

Not letting Wilson see how much it hurts him is the only thing that is still under his control. Memories of hiding in the closet and under the bed as a child, invade him -the birth of his most valuble lesson. It's better not to cry in front of your tormentor, lest they might have all the more satisfaction. Let them think your emotions are impenetrable, and better yet -nonexistent.

House swallows it down and he’s put a stop to it before he even gets on the elevator. He even congratulates himself for being so strong, which he realizes is totally pathetic. But he has to be the one to do it, since no one else ever will. No one else has ever told him how proud they are, that he is who he is, that he’s a doctor, that he’s successful, that he makes it through every day while in chronic pain and manages not to snap and kill anyone.

With no friends, no wife, no kids.

He clears his own throat, an audible sound to distract himself from inaudible thoughts. He doesn’t feel sorry for himself, because he never wanted those things to begin with. He doesn’t need any friends. He doesn’t even need Wilson. He never did. This bizarre rush of unwanted emotion is just a reaction to the shock of change. Once he adjusts, he’ll be fine.

And he actually manages to go on believing that lie, for most of the ride home.