Chapter One

I straightened my hair for what felt like the hundredth time. It very well could have been. I had been parked on the road that I knew turned into Carlisle's driveway for over an hour now, convincing myself to turn. It had been almost a hundred years since I had seen the man that had once been my closest friend, and every part of me screamed to turn the keys in the ignition and drive as fast as possible. Away.

'Maybe he isn't there. He could have gone his own way, he could have found the taste of animals repulsive, and been unable to fight his bloodlust. He could be on damn vacation, for goodness sakes. He didn't have to be there.' My subconscious refused to acknowledge my biggest fear: that he wouldn't be there because he didn't survive.

"This is stupid. Bella, this is stupid. Just go inside, just turn the car, and go inside." I said aloud. Good, I was talking to myself. That's healthy. I pulled the car visors mirror down again, and smoothed my hair once more. Maybe I was developing some sort of stress-induced compulsion. Could vampires go insane and start pulling out their own hair? I'd never seen a bald vampire, but it's possible…

"Now you're just being stupid! Just go Bella. Just go see Carlisle." My inner pep talk/reprimand finished, I still hadn't moved. Would I sit here so long I would start to petrify? The thought didn't appeal to me, as I looked over my smooth skin, imagining it brittle. I started the car. Maybe I'm more vain than I thought.

My Mercedes slid over the driveway like I was driving on a cloud, I loved this car. The engine purred slightly as I pushed it faster, it loved me too. I swept an affectionate hand over the leather passenger seat, and purred back. "Nice Bella, you're getting touchy with your car." Maybe I was going crazy. I certainly had my reasons. A sure product of my now certain insanity was this visit. I should have called to catch up with Carlisle, an email would have been preferable to this.

'Dear Carlisle,' I composed in my head, 'how've you been? Sorry I haven't been in touch in a century, I've been doing-'

What? What have I been doing? Wallowing, wandering, staying the hell away from any form of temptation. Graduating from high school a few dozen times? Moving as soon as anyone suspected that I wasn't aging. Nothing special. Nothing redeeming, certainly. How unimpressive, compared to what Carlisle had done. Saving lives, building a reputation as a fantastic doctor, building a family of his own. When I made up my mind to seek out what happened to Carlisle, all the stories had one common theme. He had a family, not a coven. It suited him well, I thought. He was not born to lead a coven, like the Volturi, though certainly, he could have handled it well. He was born to sit at the head of a table, and smile fondly at his loved ones. Yes, it suited him to have a family. I had known the man for two hundred years, and knew first hand of his compassion, the love he had for humanity. He was a singular creature in his love for this world. I had missed him.

I realized I had arrived at the house. Lovely, it was lovely. Large, but intimate somehow, and all white. It suited him as well.

I took another unnecessary breath and opened the car door. This was Carlisle, an old friend, and his family. I could walk right up to that door, and embrace him. He would welcome me back without question; Carlisle was always good at not asking unnecessary questions. When I first met him, I appreciated that. I smiled wryly to myself, he always did get the answers though. Something about my old friend made you want to tell him everything. He never judged, even when…

Stop. Don't cloud this visit. Get out of the car and knock. My body obeyed my mind, stopping short of knocking.

I ran back to the car again, to check my hair.