A/N: "Hammond of Texas, will you give me leave to enter your compound?" :: sniff :: I miss General Hammond.

Set during Family.

Worth It

Captain Carter squinted in the shadowy light, her eyes unable to clearly distinguish the features of the strange room in the darkness. The fire had been allowed to burn low, lower than she was comfortable with, truthfully, being in a strange place. Sam shifted again, attempting to get comfortable on thin pallet Drey'auc had provided. She moved slowly, trying not to wake the others. Well, trying not to wake the Colonel, since Teal'c wasn't with them. Judging by the volume of Daniel's snores nothing short of a C4 detonation would disturb his sleep. Sam sighed softly and readjusted herself again.

"Can't sleep, Carter?"

O'Neill's soft whisper startled her, she'd thought he was fast asleep. She'd watched her CO confer quietly with Teal'c at the end of his turn at watch then crawl into his own sleeping bag. O'Neill had, as was his usual practice, placed his bag near hers, his head resting near her own.

"Carter?"

"Yes, Sir." Carter's whisper was just as soft as O'Neill's. The intensity of Daniel's snores aside, she didn't want to wake the rest of the household. "I mean, no, Sir. Can't sleep."

"You okay?"

"Yes, Sir. Fine."

"Then why can't you sleep?"

Sam sighed softly and rolled onto her stomach, resting her chin on her crossed hands. Her change in position brought her closer to O'Neill's spot, her left elbow just brushing the ornate stone screen that shielded their impromptu sleeping area from the rest of the room. In the near-darkness she could barely make the shape of out her Colonel's head, the faint light from the glowing embers giving his brown hair a gilt-edged auburn glow. A barely audible rustling signaled O'Neill's change in position and Carter's bangs ruffled as he blew out a breath, echoing her own sigh. She didn't want to get into what was bothering her, at least not with her CO. Today's revelations–Drey'auc's 'divorcing' Teal'c in his absence–brought back too many bad memories. No, she didn't need to share that with her boss.

"C'mon, Captain. Spill."

"Something about all of this seems...off, Sir." Deflection...that should work.

"In what way?"

"I don't know, Colonel. Just...something." Sam shrugged despite knowing that O'Neill couldn't see her movement in the dark. She hoped he'd buy her explanation and leave it at that.

"That it?"

Guess not. Sam blew out another breath, trying to see him, hoping to see his expression. The two of them communicated so well nonverbally that she sometimes preferred their method to spoken conversation. Add to that his–and her own, if she was honest–ability to say so very much with just a slight variation in tone, they carried on entire conversations with a minimum of words and subtle changes in facial expression. However, it was hard to read a person's emotional state in a conversation held only in whispers, especially in the dark.

O'Neill had waited long enough. "I thought as much. C'mon, Carter, what's keeping you up this fine evening?"

"It's nothing, Sir. Just..." Sam swallowed hard, surprised by the sudden flood of anger and embarrassment that flowed through her. "I...well... Sir, have you ever...I mean, did you ever...?"

"What, Carter?"

"No, Sir. Never mind."

"Carter, I don't 'never mind' very well, you should know that by now." Sam jumped slightly as his hand brushed across the top of her head briefly. "Sorry, thought I was getting your shoulder. Kind of dark in here."

Sam closed her eyes as his fingers threaded once through her bangs before leaving. She kept her eyes closed and tried not to wish for him to touch her again.

"Carter... Sam. I know we're a zillion or so light years from home, but I need you sharp. And if you're distracted or upset, you're not sharp. So, spill."

Sam tensed, her eyes flashing open and narrowing, even though he wouldn't see it. "Sir. Colonel. I can still do my job–"

His hand returned, this time directly to her shoulder. How the hell does he know, in the dark? O'Neill squeezed gently, then gave it a little shake before letting go, his hand sliding down her arm briefly. "Carter. Captain Carter, relax. I know you can do the job, Captain, or you wouldn't be here." Beside her O'Neill exhaled quietly, his breath again fluttering across Sam's face and ruffling her bangs. "Come on, Sam, what's the deal?"

Sam let her eyes slip closed again, giving in to her need for comfort. She shouldn't need it, couldn't ask for it, from him. From her CO. But sometimes shouldn't and couldn't had to be put aside. She didn't like to admit how much she needed comfort, his comfort. Especially with this. But this time...he was insisting... She started softly, almost too quietly for O'Neill to catch. "It's just that...the whole thing with Teal'c, Sir. Drey'auc, I mean. I know, intellectually I know, that she had every right to...what was it? 'Have the marriage removed'? But it brought back some stuff, you know?"

"Captain Hansen?"

"Yes."

Daniel snorted suddenly, loudly in the quiet night, interrupting them. They waited, listening as he grunted and rolled over, mumbling something about tablets and inscriptions before settling down again. After a minute or so, his snores resumed again.

Jack chuckled softly at Daniel before turning back to Sam. "I'm sorry, Sam, I'm not sure I get it."

"When I was at the Pentagon I worked some really crazy hours." Sam smiled at O'Neill's soft snort. True, the hours at the Pentagon were a picnic compared to their schedule at the SGC, but back then... "Yeah, I know. Anyway, Jon– Captain Hansen felt that I was putting in too much time and he made no secret of his feelings. One afternoon I thought I'd surprise him. I came home to find him, ah...

"In flagrante delicious?

Despite her pain, Sam smiled. "That's 'delicto,' Sir. And yes. With one of my colleagues."

"Ouch. Surprise."

"Yeah. She was my best friend, too complete the cliché..." Carter stopped, realizing she sounded a bit like a lovesick teenager. "So...long story short, he blamed me."

"You're kidding."

"No, Sir. I'm not."

Sam opened her eyes as O'Neill twisted around, mimicking Sam's pose–his head resting on his own crossed hands, his face inches from hers. Now she could see his features, could make out the shine of his eyes in the firelight. Sam gave in and stared into them, hoping it was too dark for him to notice her unwavering attention.

"Stop it."

She reared her head back slightly, startled. "Sir?" Shit...guess if I could see his eyes, he could see mine! Shit.

"Sorry, Carter. I meant, 'stop it,' as in, stop blaming yourself. If that's, ah, what you were doing." O'Neill's voice trailed off uncertainly.

"Yes, Sir. I mean, no. I did, at first, then I got mad. Really mad. But mostly I felt...betrayed. And stupid. I wondered how long it had been going on. Then I wonder if it'll happen to me again. Those thoughts just chase each other around in my head." Sam was silent for a moment, listening to the pop and sizzle of the logs as they burned through the night, accompanied by the baritone rumble of Daniel's snoring. "I don't think about it much at all anymore, Sir, it's just that the whole Fro'tak, Teal'c, and Drey'auc..."

"Yeah. That whole cuckoo thing."

"Anyway, that's why I couldn't sleep."

"Hmm." Jack frowned slightly his expression clear to Carter as close as they were lying. "What were you going to ask me, earlier?"

Sam blushed, grateful for the darkness that hid her reaction. Even this close he wouldn't see her features redden in the darkness. "Um, it's not important, Sir. Out of line, even. Never...I mean, if you don't mind, I–"

O'Neill cut her off, his whispered answer breaking slightly. "No. If you're asking if I ever... I never...ah... If anyone had a right–if that's the right word–to, it was my ex, Sara. Talk about never being there, that was me. And, as far as I know, she never..." Jack cleared his throat, seemingly at a loss for words.

Now Sam was squirming. She'd had no right to bring it up and really, really didn't want to think about her CO and his ex. "As I said, Sir. Really none of my business, I'm so sorry I...um...sorry."

"It's okay, Sam. It's been an odd day."

"Yes, Sir. Sorry if I woke you, Colonel."

"You didn't, really. I was awake too, thinking about...Teal'c. And Ry'ac. Like you, I think something's hinky here." As Carter had earlier, O'Neill lay silently for a while, then added very quietly, "For what it's worth...Sam..."

Sam waited silently, hardly daring to breathe. Finally, just when she thought he wouldn't say anything else, O'Neill continued, his voice so low she had to strain to hear it.

"Hansen is...was...an idiot. Some...things...are very worth waiting for. Especially you." With that, O'Neill rolled onto his side, his back to the fire and his face turned away from Sam.

Carter lay still, frozen in surprise, replaying their exchange in her head. His last words chased all other thoughts from her head and she let them roll in an endless loop, analyzing every nuance from his side of their whispered conversation. The fire's embers slowly burned lower, darkening the room further as the night crept on, ever deeper and more silent. Even Daniel's snores had quieted and Sam finally felt her eyes growing heavy. She turned her head, resting her cheek on her hands, and facing her CO's figure where he lay silhouetted against the carved partition. Very faintly she whispered, "For what it's worth? From you, Sir, it's worth a lot." Giving in at last to her body's need for sleep, Sam let her eyes drift shut.

Beside her, his own eyes wide open and staring into the darkness, a slow smile slid across Jack O'Neill's features.