I’m graduating in a couple of weeks.

That really says it all for this particular fanfiction, I think.

40. Taylor Hicks, Do I Make You Proud?

If I could confess to a single regret over the last eighteen years? It would be missing my son grow up.

Oh, of course he was wonderfully looked after –we have our employees to thank for that. Frankly I’m amazed that Ella has never had children of her own– but... there are some things that you simply can’t replace. A mother is one of them. When my own mother was alive, I don't think she missed out on a single day my my young life... Not that this was always a good thing. I missed his first word, can you believe that? Missing something so significant for the sake of a fewretakes... and ones that the studio decided not use, at that. And then there were all the magazine interviews, the expensive dinners, the premiers, the autograph signings...

He became lost, somewhere in the middle of it all... It must sound so very harsh to you; a woman trying to fit calling her son into a schedule between a ten am interview with Glam Magazine and a ten fifteen meeting with the... The President of Germany or whoever it was that time around.

Yes, it is, isn’t it? But you asked me, and I answered honestly. I have a personal rule, you see: Always be honest with your public. Especially during interviews. If they’re going to cook up some dirt on you anyway... Well, you might as well make sure that you don’t make it any easier for them, mightn’t you?

Things changed some time about when he turned thirteen... Yes, you probably remember that, it was all over the news, if I recall. Of course, in the end it was a little... advice from his grandfather that finally helped us track him down. It was such a relief, you can’t believe...

It seemed so very important back then... all the meetings and the interviews seemed so essential. And then everything changed so much so quickly. You start to realise exactly what’s important to you and what isn’t. It was too late for... so many things by then.

Nervous? But of course I’m nervous, dear. Who wouldn’t be? Oh certainly, I’m a professional, but I suppose the day an actress ceases to feel any nervousness whatsoever is the day her career is over, isn’t it? Anyway, it isn’t a patch on what he’s feeling. I often wonder what it was like for him, growing up with me for a mother... He never mentioned it, but I can just imagine how many questions he must’ve been asked all throughout school. Why, my previous agent once suggested using his classmates as a publicity stunt, can you imagine that? Sometimes I do wonder whether that had something to do with why he seemed to have so few friends... he worried that any friends he didhave might be turned into agents for entertainment, or that they'd be intimidated in some way... But of course, I'm rambling. And never mind the time he attempted to get headlines out of that time when he went missing...

Oh, dear, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry... sad thoughts, sad thoughts...

Ah... there we are. Non-waterproof mascara is such a pain. I’m very sorry.

Sometimes, you see, it takes incidents like that for you to understand what’s really going on. Your family and the public... they’re not the same thing at all, you see. You can’t schedule a child... Yes, I do remember that I was on television at the time, dear, but it was a television Appeal; I was trying to contact my son. We took great pains to keep Chris out of the media as much as possible. Honestly, I have never used Chris as a source of publicity and I never shall. I know reporters far too well. Luckily for me, I’ve never had much trouble with Chris and reporters. He’s never been the type to play off of his family’s credibility... He takes after his father, you know.

...Oh, no offence intended, dear. Station Square News has so much more tact than those tabloid anarchists. Certainly, I’ll give you his details once the interview is over, the man could use a few more questions about his reliability, honestly, I don’t know why I ever hired him...

At any rate, I really must go, I’m sure you have many other people to speak with. Ah... the other parents have asked me, by the way, if you would attempt to confine your filming to outside of the Stadium... Yes, I know that you’re trying to get a headline, but honestly, dear, this is their day, not a publicity stunt. I’ve had plenty of those in my time...

Thank you, I do appreciate it... Ah... no, I’m afraid I can’t tell you anything about my upcoming return to the film-sphere. I’m really rather busy right now. I’m supposed to be helping out on the buffet table...

... Well, it’s not every day that your son graduates, is it?

I’ve never been the one to raise my hand,

That was not me,

But now that’s who I am,

Because of you I am standing tall...