Cali-chan desu wa! ~wave wave~ Ya'll genki? ~beams~ Well, here's my second gravi fiction! And it's Shuichi and Ryuichi too... ^_~ I just love pairing two genki bishounen and dissecting them to see what makes 'em tick. And like I did with Watari in my WatarixTsuzuki one, I made up all sorts of bull to try to explain why Ryuichi acts the way he does. ^_^* A thirty year old man can't act like a child without a good reason right? ... I am -so- self-justifying at the moment. ^.^*
YukixShuichi is still make fav pairing though! ~glomps 'em~
Saa, I don't own Gravitation. The great Murakami-sama does! ~worships~ Hope you all like it! C&C's of fellow yaoi or gravitation fans are welcome at email@example.com. Flames will be used to ignite Ryuichi's and Shuichi passion for my own personal amusement like I do with the rest of my fic pairings. ^_^
Chapter 1: ~He loves me, he loves me not~
Written by: Cali-chan
"Don't be late for tomorrow's practice Shuichi! If you don't show up I'm not making excuses for your ass again. You can eat K lead this time just so you learn."
"Hai Hiro!" Shuichi grinned and saluted, taking his large heavy suitcase from the trunk of the car. "You'll be picking me up right?"
Hiro nodded. "10 AM you got that? You better be up or I'll drag you out of bed, whether your naked with Yuki or not."
"Eh?! Hiro no baka!"
Shuichi glowered as the madly smirking Hiro drove away. Not wanting to give the idiot satisfaction, the singer merely spared his best friend one last annoyed glance before turning around to face the apartment buildings. A wide grin grew on the young man's face as he walked up the steps.
He was home.
Finally, after a whole month of busily touring around Japan, Shuichi and the rest of Bad Luck had returned home. The past weeks had been the longest he had to endure away from his lover. He couldn't wait to tell Yuki about all at that happened and give him all the presents he had bought! More importantly he couldn't wait to show the blond haired writer how much he had missed him. His heart ached unbearably as he realized Yuki was now only a a little more than a minute away.
Shuichi ran to the elevator, or at least tried to since he still had to drag his unbearably present heavy suitcase behind him. Once inside he tapped his right foot impatiently as it slowly crawled upwards, slamming his thumb on the open button as soon as it reached Yuki's floor. Then pink haired boy bounded out, his suitcase rolling slowly behind him.
Yuki would be so surprised! He was a few days early, due to the fact K had decided they had earned enough to be able to spend money on flying back. He fantasized the expression on Yuki's face, first surprised then slowly filling with warmth.
Shuichi's blue eyes sparkled and he let out a soft high pitched 'Yuki~ii' under his breath. He took the house key Yuki gave him from his pocket and silently opened the door, wanting to surprise the other man with a well aimed glomp.
He left his suitcase in the hallway and snuck up to Yuki's office, blinking in surprise when he found it empty. That was strange... he usually was in here at this time.
A though struck him and his eyes lit up. Maybe Yuki had overslept! He smiled widely. How cute of Yuki, sleeping in like a big bear! Shuichi quickly bounded over to the bedroom, throwing it open and announcing happily, "Tadaima!"
The large lump beneath the covers moved, and one blond head popped out. A blond head that wasn't Yuki's. Tohma's coffee brown eyes blinked sleepily, slowly widening as they fell upon him. What the hell was he doing here?! Then when Yuki's head finally appeared Shuichi finally realized what had happened. Tohma-san and Yuki... they...
Shuichi felt his heart shatter in that single instant, the shards digging painfully into his soul. Yuki sat up and turned, their gazes meeting. It seemed as if a hundred emotions flitted through those olive green eyes: surprise, guilt, sadness, remorse and embarrassment. Tohma's face betrayed no emotion as he turned away to look out the window, as if the fact that Shuichi had walked in and discovered his lover's infidelity was nothing but a common occurrence.
Shuichi raged. How... how could they? The man he had given his whole self to, his life, soul, love and devotion, had betrayed him! As if he was nothing but another meaningless object in his life that could be easily thrown away.
The tears started trailed down, hot and bitter down his cheeks, falling on the polished wooden floor. Small white hands clenched, the nails digging into the flesh only to draw blood. It hurt... it hurt so much he could barely stand it. He felt the sudden urge to scream, to lash out, insanity looming ever so close at the edge of his mind.
But he found he couldn't move, his feet stuck to the floor and his eyes locked on horrible betrayal. Shuichi could only stand and stare as Yuki cursed loudly at the sight of him, pulling the blankets up as if he could still hide the ugly image he and Tohma presented.
Then Tohma smiled, a small triumphant smile, and finally the insanity did take over Shuichi's body. He screamed like a thing dying, his bloody hands reaching up to cover his eyes as if he could take the images away. Swiftly he snatched the picture on the wall, the one he and Yuki had taken a week before he left, and smashed it down to floor.
Everything... Everything in the apartment was a lie! Their love was a lie! He fell to his knee's on the floor, eyes vacant and staring down at the photograph surrounded by broken glass. Shuichi reached out with blood stained fingertips to touch his own smiling face on the picture. Was he being lied to even then? Had he always been nothing more than a toy?
A shadow fell upon him and the familiar warmth and smell of Yuki washed over him as he was pulled into strong arms. Instead of feeling comforted as he always did in Yuki's presence, he suddenly felt smothered. He couldn't breath, the heat rising to his face. Yuki's soft apologies reached deaf ears.
When the older man's lips tried to cover his Shuichi panicked, pushing him away and jumping up. As he pressed himself up against the wall, Shuichi's once bright blue eyes filled with panic and animalistic fear.
"Please... please don't... God, it hurts so much. Why does it hurt so much Yuki?" His voice rose to a scream. "WHY?! WHYWHYWHYWHY?!"
Then before Yuki could reach and and grab a hold of him Shuichi ran out the door and out of the apartment. He ran away from the pain, the betrayal and Tohma's triumphant smile.
He didn't notice the rain that had suddenly started to fall. His soft pink hair stuck pathetically to his flushed cheeks as his wet sneakers slammed heavily down on the pavement. He didn't know where he was running too, only that he had to get away, as far away from Yuki as he could.
When Shuichi finally stopped, out of breath and to tired to run any longer, he discovered his treacherous feet had taken him to the park. The park where he had met Yuki and had fallen in love for the first and what he had though to be the final time. He flopped down on the grass, laying on his back and closing his eyes slowly.
'I want to die...' Then Shuichi realized he had died. Yuki had killed him as effectively as any bullet could. Closing his eyes tightly his tears mingled with the harsh rain that slammed down onto his face. When he finally lost consciousness, blissful blackness taking the pain away, Shuichi prayed he would never wake up.
"It's raining! It's pouring! The old man is snoring!" Ryuichi sang happily as he hopped from puddle to puddle in the muddy park, Kumagorou in hand. Behind him several men and black suits followed, keeping a wary eye on the famous singer.
"I love the rain! Don't you Kumagorou?" Ryuichi laughed as he started to run surprisingly quickly, startling his protectors. Lucky for them the singer suddenly stopped, his attention caught by flash of pink at the corner of his eye.
"Ara? Shu-chan?" He knelt at his friend's side, poking his cheek, blinking in surprise at how cold it was. He waved the men over, eyes worried. "Quick! We gotta get home or Shu-chan will turn into a Popsicle!"
He followed the men as they carried his friend to the car waiting nearby. Ryuichi had them lay Shuichi down next to him, the pink topped head resting on his lap. The green haired man started to stroke the younger singer's baby soft hair, smiling happily. Shu-chan was so cute.
"Baka Shu-chan! Sleeping in the rain." Ryuichi murmured fondly. "Yuki should take better care of you! Like I take care of Kumagorou!"
Shuichi murmured in his sleep, brows furrowing as a soft 'Stop...' fell from his parted lips. Ryuichi's hands froze, then he realized that Shuichi wasn't talking to him.
"Nightmare's..." Ryuichi frowned and touched the youth's cheek tenderly. "Poor Shu-chan." He had to ask why Shuichi was in the rain when he woke up. He was a curious sort of person, and Shuichi seemed to hold a big secret.
"No!" Shuichi woke up suddenly, eyes wide with panic. His hands shakily rose to his eyes as if they alone would be able to take away the horrible images that continued to plague him.
Even in sleep he couldn't escape the betrayal.
In his dream Yuki and Tohma had stripped right before him, their smiles filled with affection and their hand ran over each other's bodies. They whispered to each other softly, confessing love, all the while their eyes trained on Shuichi. Then they had laughed, laughed until their voices were all he could hear, their sweaty bodies all he could see.
Shamefully Shuichi felt himself unable to control the tears that started to fall again. The wound inside of him hurt so much... the biting pain spreading through his entire body until he started to shake uncontrollably. The sobs were torn from his throat as he held himself tightly.
"Yuki... why? What didn't I do? What didn't I give? Yuki..."
Shuichi jumped in surprise as Ryuichi's face hovered suddenly above his, tears stopping suddenly. "Ryuichi-san?" The pink haired youth finally realized he wasn't at the park and glanced around. The hundreds of Kumagurou's made in obvious where he was.
"Welcome to Ryuichi's house!" The green haired man announced cheerfully. "You are our honored guest!"
Blue eyes blinked in confusion. "How did I get here?"
"Baka Shu-chan." Ryuichi scolded. "You were sleeping in the rain and getting all cold. Good thing Ryuichi found you!" A small frown was on his lips. "Why doesn't Yuki take better care of you?"
At the mere mention of his former lovers name Shuichi burst into tears, causing Ryuichi to pulled his friend immediately into his arms. The older man's hands made soothing circles on the youth's back. Shuichi was so thin and frail, fitting so perfectly the hug. Ryuichi felt he could snap those little bones if he wasn't careful.
When Shuichi's sobs finally subsided Ryuichi cupped the tear flushed cheeks in both hands and stared straight into his friends eyes. "Tell Ryuichi -everything-."
"Tell me!" Ryuichi's voice bore no room for excuses. Shuichi noticed that the childishness had faded from the dark green eyes, affection and pity shining through.
Shuichi broke down, resting his head on the other man's chest, and bit by painful bit narrated what had happened. The fresh sorrow and hurt was laced into every word, the tears continuing to fall.
Ryuichi seemed to feel every emotion he felt, the man's warm circle of arms tightening every time he seemed on the verge of breaking down again. Afterward Shuichi was so tired he could barely stay awake, his eyes fluttering closed. He blinked in surprise as Ryuichi pulled them both down to lay on the bed, their faces so close their noses touched.
"Ryu-Ryuichi-san..." A small blush danced across his cheeks.
The older man scowled, his eyes narrowing. "Yuki is an idiot for hurting you." He pulled Shuichi closer and rested his chin on the youth's head. "Ryuichi would -never- hurt someone he loved. Ryuichi would never hurt -you-, Shu-chan."
Shuichi sighed softly and nestled closer, finally finding solace from the pain. "Honto ni?"
"Honto!" The other man vowed. "You can stay with me and Kumagurou from now on since you don't have anyplace to go!"
"Hiro could take me in." Shuichi put in.
"Yo-you don't want to stay with Ryuichi?" There was a tell-tale wobbling in the man's voice that hinted at tears.
Shuichi shook his head quickly. "No! It's just that... I don't to be a burden."
"Shu-chan is never a burden! You're my and kumagurou's friend." Ryuichi huggled him. "If you stay it's like having sleepovers every night!"
"Yeah!" Shuichi felt his good spirits rising. The other man's smiles and good moods were catching. Ryuichi always made him happy. The steady beat of the older man's heart against his ear lulled him to sleep, warm and comfortable in the warm circle of arms.
Ryuichi gazed fondly over the sleeping young man. How could Yuki have had the heart to do harm to Shu-chan when he had given him everything? If Shuichi had loved him that much Ryuichi would have never left his side! Such devotion needed the same in return.
Ryuichi touched the youth's petal soft lips. They had a lot in common, him and Shuichi. They both loved life and took each day with ever-present cheerfulness. They also had an insatiable love for music.
They had both been betrayed.
The images rose unbidden. Even till today, fourteen years later, he could still feel the pain. He had given that man his heart and he had merely sold it to the highest bidder. The fear that consumed him as the three men overpowered him was still so clear that bile rose in his throat every time he remembered. That occurrence had given birth to the innocent mask he lived behind everyday, the mask that had become as much a part of him as his soul.
Ryuichi held Shuichi close, nuzzling the soft pink hair lovingly. "No one will ever hurt you anymore Shu-chan." He kissed the small youth's forehead. "Ryuichi and Kumagurou will protect you forever! We promise!"
The childishness faded. "So you don't have to be afraid anymore. I always keep my promises Shuichi." I'm tired of being lonely...
And I could love you better than he can.
~TBC... I guess. ^_^;;~
Yes I do put notes before and after the story. ^_~
Gah! That just plain sucked! ~sighs~ That's what I get for letting my writing skills go rusty. -_- Ma-ta-ku.
Well, should I continue it? I will if people like it enough. If not let's just make it a hanging one shot. ^-^ Frankly I think I should just leave it at that but if anyone wants to reads the whole angsty problems that rise up afterward and wants me to continue just give a holler k? ~neko smile~ Jaa na! =3