Disclaimer/Author's note: I don’t usually post disclaimers, but given the graphic and serious nature involved, it felt negligent on my part to not say a few words.

This idea came to me spontaneously and I feel compelled to write about it. Some of the ‘reasons’ for wanting to explore this type of content are purely out of curiosity to show a side of these characters going against the grain of most (but not all) HSM-related fan fiction.

“Depressive disorders affect approximately 18.8 million American adults or about 9.5 -of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year.” ()

Although I have used depression as a means to aide my work of fiction, depression is a real disease. If you or someone you know suffers from depression or suicidal thoughts, -please contact the National suicide hotline (Toll free and available 24 hours a day) at 1-800-SUICIDE (2433).

I do not own HSM and/or the characters.

The ballet was exquisite. Troy watched in suppressed amusement as Gabriella’s eyes flickered with joy at the nimble pirouettes, plies, and leaps the agile dancers displayed with silent grace and form.

Against any prior bickering, whining, or complaints the sparkle in her eye- the very smile playfully tugging at the sides of her plump lips made the entire evening worth it.

Their dancer limbs gently swayed and she focused on their faces, enraptured by the look of utter blissful content within their nameless eyes. They were elated. Inside, she found solace at this.

He couldn’t help himself, needing to feel her warm skin against his and reached over to grasp her hand.

Her small delicate fingers wrapped around his, squeezing tight in a soundless act of gratitude.

“Did you see the way they leapt?! And the spins and the turns and the costumes- my god the costumes were breathtaking!” she rambled on while unclasping her necklace.

Troy sat at the edge of his bed, tugging off one of his dress socks and loosening the royal blue tie from around his neck.

He chuckled to himself, causing her tirade to abruptly stop as she frowned.

“What’s so funny?” she questioned with the faintest hint of sadness emitting from her features.

Looking up in shock, grimacing lightly as he realized yet again he’d expressed something aloud when he’d meant to simply think it, he shot to his feet.

“No! Nothings’ funny baby, I was just- I think that…it’s just you are so…and” he stuttered.

Cocking her head to the side she looked on in recreation at his stammering.

He took a deep breath, ceasing the incoherent sentences.

“You look so beautiful” he quietly stated, looking up to catch her gaze.

Her demeanor softened as she reveled in his complement for a moment.

Without words, making sure not to break their stare she walked forward until she was flush against his stern body.

The soft slope of her breast pressed seductively against his torso, causing him to involuntarily quiver at the contact.

Smirking, she pressed herself closer to his body, gently lifting up on her tip-toes.

He felt her hot breath against his earlobe.

“Thank you for tonight” she whispered, before capturing his lobe within her mouth, a light suction commencing.

Raw emotion rose through his vocal chords, spilling forth in the form of a low, hungry growl deeply resided in the back of his throat.

Flattening her feet back against the soft confines of the carpet, Gabriella stared into his eyes, a dark tornado taking place within their reflection as he watched her deliberately unbutton the front of her satin gown.

He felt his breath hitch as she gently unfastened the last of her dress, allowing the folds and tucks of silky satin and frothy chiffon to pool around her feet leaving her completely nude and on display for his heavy-lidded eyes to take in.

Without hesitation, he pulled her petite figure into his grasp, fingers slightly digging into her hips as their lips connected in a heated kiss.

When the need for air became a must, they noisily pried their lips from one another, panting momentarily before re-connecting their mouths.

Troy walked backwards, his hold on her curves not faltering as he made his way toward the bed. Feeling the plush surface tap against his calves, he lowered himself onto the bed, taking her with him so she lay across his hard body.

His hands roamed wildly through her silken long dark strands of hair, the contours of her back, creeping down at a dangerously slow pace to her softly ample backside which he grabbed earnestly, eliciting a slightly muffled moan from her, given their pre-occupied tongues grazing ravenously against one another.

Her small hands hastily pried open his dress shirt, discarding of it with little concern onto the floor.

She moved down his body, leaving hot open-mouthed kisses down his neck, torso, lingering across his firm abs, worshiping his toned and muscular mid-section with attentive care.

Gabriella smiled against his flesh, hearing another guttural moan escape from his lips. Swiftly, she unzipped his trousers, anticipating what lay within. As she gripped the edges of the fabric, she hooked her thumbs into the black spandex waistband of his boxer briefs, taking them in stride, depantsing him in one fluid movement, allowing him to kick off the offending garments once they nestled against his ankles.

Leisurely her figure made it’s way back up his athletic legs, making sure to drag her fingertips across his thighs.

Finally reaching her destination, her tongue flicked out, licking the head, causing his back to arch off the bed as he cursed, moaning her name in conjunction with the newfound sensations.

“Fuck… Gabi…”

Greedily, she lowered her head, flexing her jaw and mouth to mold around his thick member.

Her need for him was insatiable, desperate even.

Famish like no other took hold of her being as she dipped her head, mercilessly savoring the feel of his heavy sex within the warm confines of her mouth.

Desire hit them both like a lightening bolt, awakening a passion that burned in the pit of their stomachs. The belly of the beast raged on as she continued her torturously pleasurable maelstroms, drunk in the very scent of him.

Gasping, Troy begged her to stop the slow torment.

“Gab… s-st-stop” he barely managed to croak.

With a tantalizing pop, she let him go. He pulled her up his chest, mashing his lips against hers the moment her face appeared before his.

The flavor of him disintegrated as their embrace tightened, on setting a series of starved kisses.

His length pressed against her inner thigh, grazing and teasing her already wet mound.

Troy flipped their bodies so he now hovered over her tanned form, taking in the full sight of the woman he loved.

In a state of awe he spoke.

“I love you” he whispered in a husky voice.

“Show me” she challenged.

Those two words snapped whatever restrain he’d held thus far. He positioned his member over her essence and began to make his way inch by inch further into the deepest, most intimate nook of her body.

A satisfied moan from both radiated across the dark room as their bodies became one. He hissed when she wrapped her legs around his back, crossing them just above his firm buttocks, pulling him deeper, sinking his manhood into the contours of her folds.

He rode her body, pounding into her over and again. His hips swiveled hitting several sensitive spots, causing her muscles to clamp over his member, lavishly milking him.

Need became craving.

Craving melted into something more- urgency.

Gabriella welcomed each of his thrusts, responding with a grinding upward gyration of her hips, meeting each relentless drive as Troy’s strained breath heaved against her neck, urging her to increase the friction, digging her short nails into the bronzed flesh of his back, maneuvering her body in such a way to seek out that ravishing release which she so desired.

Troy felt the familiar rousing of his orgasm approach, holding back the coveted liberation. He needed to know she needed him and only him.

Gently placing his fingers against her soft cheek, he turned her head, ceasing her back and forth writhing.

“Tell me you need me” he demanded in a hushed whisper.

Her brain was a congealed mess of thoughts. Nothing was coherent. All sensations were alert and heightened.

Troy slipped a hand between their bodies, pressing his thumb against the bud of her pleasure.

“Tell me Brie, say it. Say you need me.”

She struggled to open her mouth, feeling her body work against her as she succumbed to sheer lust.

“I need you” she whimpered.

Plunging deeper, he spoke again.

“Tell me. Say it’s me that you need” he coaxed her.

“Troy, I need you” came her breathy reply.

Her eyes shot open, golden amber locking with sapphire blue and Troy arched, fighting against the delightful pain in his lower back. He stroked her clit with fervor, feeling the slick ride of his penis penetrating her.

Her mouth opened, a silent scream taking hold as her body began to shake.

Troy’s vision blurred with little flickers of white light sprinkling across his vision. The sight of her unraveling within his arms was his end.

Their limp bodies fell against the damp sheets, a thick exhaustion permeating the air.

“I love you…” came his far-away voice as he wrapped an arm around her sleek hips, pulling her backside toward him, breathing in her scent and committing this moment to memory.

All was silent as a serene calm blanketed their minds.

Heavy.

It’s how not only his limp arm carelessly strewn across her side but also her heart and mind felt.

Gabriella sighed in deep frustration. Sleep just would not come to her. She’d tried in vain to synch her breathing with Troys’ in a bid that the methodic duet of their commingled breaths would lull her into a restful slumber.

She peered down at his arm, feeling the weight pressing her further into the mattress.

‘Don’t do it.’

Her eyes gazed out the window, an emotionless expression on her face as she looked at the infinite sky. She wanted to feel weightless.

Troy’s arm crushed her, cutting off her air supply. She was sinking, he was suffocating her.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she took a few deep breaths and recited poetry, quotes, anything her bright mind could latch onto. Newton. Newton’s Three Laws of Motion. That could help this overwhelming sensation.

‘Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.’

She felt the sting of tears stabbing the back of her eyes, blinking back the inevitable.

‘Don’t do it.’

‘The relationship between an object's mass m, its acceleration a, and the applied force F is F ma.’

Her palms were sweaty and her breath came in shallow gasps. She needed air.

Looking at Troy’s arm in slight horror, she gently moved the hefty limb from around her, sighing immediately at the loss of contact, feeling the mattress plump up once again around her small body. Her side no longer ached from the massive obstruction.

Troy let out a small snort, rotating onto his back.

She quietly rose from the bed, letting the sheets fall from her nude body.

Troy stirred, the absence of her heat causing him to pry one eye open.

“Gabs? What’s going on?” he asked, his voice thickly coated with sleep.

“Nothing. I’m just going to take a shower” she quietly resolved, tossing him a genuine smile over her shoulder.

He grinned, nodding his head in agreement.

She could hear his snores resound before gently closing the bathroom door.

‘Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it.’

She stood in the dark cold bathroom gripping the edges of the porcelain sink until the whites of her knuckles shown.

Her breathing was labored. All she wanted was a moment’s rest from it all.

Just a little sleep.

Her heartbeat raced, thumping wildly in her chest. The iron-glad grip she held was beginning to make her hands tremor, spasming slightly and painfully aching.

With a shaking hand, she tore her fingers from the hard surface and switched the light on.

She didn’t want to see the light, but she had to try.

Lazily, she drug herself over to the bathtub and twisted the knobs. The sound of water rushed over her.

She returned to the mirror, gaze down.

Lifting her head , she smirked at the hidden guilt.

Her eyes reflected a hurricane with years of shame, struggle, taunting, self loathing, and unabashed rage.

One breath was all it took for her mood to completely shift. It was like an ‘on’ and ‘off’ button at times like this when the root of her problem reared it’s ugly head.

The realization of just how empty and alone she felt brought the fragile girl to her knees.

She mourned the loss of her inner strength. It had fled a long time ago. It fucking ran away, taking rationale and her ability to feel along with it. She died a long time ago. It was a comfortable existence of numb she now lived in.

The switch inside turned ‘off’ and she felt a little better. A small ounce of endurance riddled her body long enough for her to blindly grab at the toilet seat to help her stand upright.

Her hand clumsily brushed against a container filled with cotton balls. The sound of breaking glass was muffled by the lush bathroom mat.

The crystal reflected in her eyes, beckoning her. She tilted her head in a dream-like manner.

‘This glass began as a solitary grain of sand that was meshed up, beaten, and ground into smooth, crystalline clarity. Where was its’ beginnings? Was it born on the warm beaches of the French Riviera? How many hands grazed across it’s rough surface? It died. Her clumsiness had ended its’ course through this life. She could be like this glass’

The incoherently scattered thoughts raced within her mind, causing her to giggle.

It was all so clear.

Everything, in one beautiful poignant stage made sense.

Thoughts never coursed through her mind quite like this, the rapid sensation of blood pulsing through her veins.

She was alive with startling clarity.

Her small fingers swept across the countertop, the shower curtain. She wanted to experience every sensation, every touch, every feel in these moments.

The bathroom was now foggy, a heavy mist circling her body. She leaned over and drew a heart at the center of the mirror.

With that, she gracefully made her way to the tub.

She was so angelically serene in that moment.

‘Do it.’

Troy stirred, a smile tugging at the sides of his mouth as he rolled over to engulf the incredible woman at his side within his arms once again.

He frowned noticing she was gone.

Sleep still clouded his mind and he rubbed his eyes momentarily.

Was that the bathtub still running?

“Gabriella?” he called, sitting up on his elbows.

He looked around the room, wondering if she was simply enjoying a long bath, not wanting to disturb her.

The sound of splashing water snapped his attention to the closed bathroom door.

Throwing off the covers he made his way to the door and rapped against it.

“Gabi, c’mon. Everything all right?”

The noise of overflowing fluid hit his ears.

Sleepy blue snapped to a dark navy as he reacted.

Upon opening the door, a billow of hot mist hit him full-on.

He took several deep breaths, adjusting his body to the change in temperature.

His eyes fell upon the mirror directly in front of him and he smiled to himself.

There was the doodle she’d drawn. Through the fog he saw her heart.

Rubbing the back of his neck, silently chastising himself for being so worried, his thoughts were harshly interrupted as a scalding hot liquid hit his feet causing him to leap backwards onto the carpet.

Cursing bitterly, his stomach sank.

Something was wrong.

Sprinting back into the mist-filled room, he stepped gingerly to the left and turned around to face the tub.

Her head was tilted back, the golden hued mask absent from her color, making way toward a pale exterior. The bathroom water ran freely and the sight of a pink substance oozing into the scalding water physically made him ill.

“GABRIELLA!” he bellowed, crashing to his knees as he lunged forward, bringing her lifeless head toward his chest.

“Baby… wake up…” he pleaded, gripping emotion clogging his chest, making it hard for him to speak.

He checked her scalp, trying to assess where the source of blood came from. He grabbed both sides of her head and pressed her lips to his ear. Gabriella’s motionless body lay against his, the breath with which gave her the voice to sing, the source to rattle off speeches exhibiting her genius was no longer.

Letting lose another roar of anguish, he furiously twisted the knobs, shutting off the water.

Pushing her lips against his ear once more, yearning for even the faintest intake of breath to escape from the still rosy pink lips, he listened.

Author's note:

I have not yet decided if this is a story I will go further with. I am trying to respect the issue of depression as much as possible while I tackle this subject. If you could just let me know your thoughts, I'd appreciate it!

xo,

Audrey