Sorry that's its crab again, but I have to finish it.
for those who're enjoying it, review.
sorry, my english is getting worse, probably because of the upcoming exams.

January 12th 2008 Saturday

11:00- I just woke up and couldn't find any clue from Edward Cullen. As if he never spent the night with me. Oh bloody hell. I'm even fantasizing I slept with Edward. Which it's not exactly what happened. What happened was:
While we couldn't find anything to do, I asked him few questions about his life, and about James, he told me a lot of things. That he was born in 1779 in Hampshire, which makes him I don't know how much, and he was transformed into a vampire when he was 28, by a vampire who had saved his life, and then he moved to America in 1920 and found James as a new born (fresh vampire), and he adapted him. And then he met a vampire girl and lived with her. One day James and that girl whose name was Caroline, ran away together and then years later he had found that she had died, and it was because of James fault. Then he moved back to England. And then he told me about his professions and the way he survived so many years living with humans and not making them discover him. and then said something like "you really want to see me in the light?" and I was confused, how does he look like in the light? Like a monster? Bat? Snake? Dracula with the weird teeth? Voldemort?

And then I asked him about Caroline, "Was it very difficult to deal with her death?" I wish I hadn't asked him this question though, seemed very personal.

"Time heals wounds" he murmured.
"I'm sorry" I apologized.
"That's fine" he gave a sad grin. And then, "I hope you're done with James, 'caus, if you're not, my job here will never be done".
"a job? Mmm, don't worry. But why you're here?"
"Do you want me to leave?"
"No" I exclaimed, "it's just I cant understand why you? Specially you, who hates me, but particularly want to help me?"
"Wasn't that obvious?" he smiled.
Okay. That wasn't that obvious. I don't know if he really liked me, or just playing with me, trying to seduce me so he can bloody drink my blood, like that bloody James. I should give up men entirely, including vampires. They're never serious, they seduce, and break hearts. One should never trust them. Girls are better. Wish I was a lesbian, but I'm not, I'm only attracted to those who break hearts. And still they're so sweet and some of them you cant resist. Like that bloke who was sitting on my bed with me, his tempting mouth that I wanted to eat so badly, his gorgeous golden eyes that I want to… mmmm. Dunno what to do with them, maybe just stare at them for eternity. He's so dazzling.

It was already 11 when I already felt pointless to just ask him questions about him. I wanted to wait till he asks me about myself, but he didn't seem in the least interested. Maybe he can actually READ my MIND?
Then after a long moment of silence I closed me eyes and found my lips pressed to his, they were so cold like ice-cream, I wanted to stick mine to his forever, like when you're eating ice-cream, licking it so slowly because you don't want it to end. Then suddenly a noise was heard. I think that was an owl outside who was so jealous so she wanted to interrupt. Edward stopped snogging me and whispered, "you should sleep".
"I'm not tired" I said, trying to kiss him again, and lead it to something else.
We kissed again, and this was perhaps more passionate, because the previous was just practice. Then we stopped for a second (to breath) I took my shirt off, and stayed in my pra.
"I can't do this to you" he said, "I'm dangerous"
"What you mean?" I said, and then put my hands again on his cold chin to kiss him.
"I'm too powerful and I think you should take your shirt on"
"mmm… I was hot, and what's wrong with being powerful" wasn't he supposed to be powerful, so I can have really fantastic first shag?
"you're not as powerful, so I can't" and suddenly vanished to be found standing next to the window. And I put on my shirt for it was already embarrassing.
after few moments of silence, he came back to bed, and started all over again "so tell me, why you wanted to be a director?" heaven forbids.
"I love movies"
"A lot of people love movies. It's not an excuse"
"Well, you're a producer. Why is that?"
"well, I was bored, that's different. And besides I can change my profession in another 5 years"
"oh sod it. so what if I want to make a good movie one day"
there was some silence, but wish instead of that silence there was more snogging.
"why you hated me when you first met me?" I eventually asked.
"to prevent my self from your scent" my scent? So I started smelling myself, which was partly coffee and pajamas.
"your scent" he continued, "is a drug to me; my personal brand of heroin. Then I wanted to know more about you, and couldn't be away from you".

Thank the Lord and all his angels above he can't read my mind. Or else he wouldn't be here with me.

Then he turned some calm classical music on from the radio, and I slept in his arms, and there were no more kisses.

When I woke up, I couldn't find him. as if he was never here.

12:13- Just found a note from Edward, with his beautiful handwriting: " we have a meeting next Thursday at noon in Glossing studios.
If you find yourself in danger, you know what to do"
huff. So it wasn't a love letter.

18:35- Oh bloody hell. It wasn't James who sent me the horrid email yesterday. But It was my Ex- Boyfriend Jacob.

He just showed up as if we had never broken up.
"Jacob" exclaimed mum "so good to see you. Bella's upstairs"
so I immediately came down stairs to forbid him to come up to my room

"Bella" he said, "did you get my E-mail?"
"What E-mail?"

"the one I sent yesterday"
"That was YOU?"
"so. Baby. You've been missing me?"
"No"
"c'mon I've heard you broke up with your boyfriend, so I guessed you'd need me"
"Got a new one" not sure though.
and so it went on, Jake kept trying to convince me that I haven't got a new bloke, and I kept insisting that I'm not in the least interested in coming back to him. until he left which actually pissed my mum.
"He's looking good" she said, which was unfortunately true.
"who gives a fuck?" I murmured.

19:00- I just called Alice and told her about Edward, and what actually happened yesterday.
"told you just to give it a little effort"
"yeah. Oh, and you still have that nice top I can borrow to wear on Thursday?"
"guess we'll have to go shopping".
"no. no shopping whatsoever. Need to get money for a new flat"
"heard Jessica is looking for a new roomie"
"but isn't she bloody living with her boyfriend"
"apparently they split up".
"Blimey. Brilliant. Super"

19:15- Just called Jessica and she's not bloody answering the phone.

weight: who cares, calories: 2150 (I hate counting calories), hours spent thinking about Edward: 20, minutes spent thinking about Edward: 20x60=1000, I mean 1200, seconds spent thinking about Edward: 1200x60= just going to bring the calculator…72000 (v.v. bad, but at least replaced by thinking about James), times annoyed by mum: 13 (better), minutes thinking about James: 35 (v.b), minutes thinking about Jacob: 30 (v.b should never thinking about ex boyfriend whom I haven't seen for a while), Time have called Jessica: 30, times she has answered: 0.

January 14th 2008 Monday

16:40- Just called Jessica and asked her about the flat, and she said it would be really nice if I come to see it next week, because this week she's so busy, and we'll arrange everything. YAAAAAAY. I'M MOVEING OUT

minutes spent fantasizing about living in a new apartment: 47, minutes spent thinking about Edward: 260 (better), minutes spent thinking about James: 20 (good), minutes spent thinking about Jacob: 10 ().

January 17th 2008 Thursday

10:04- Just woke up, with mad hair and looking disgusting. I'm supposed to meet Edward in less than 2 hours, and I have no bloody idea what to wear.

10:15- found nice jeans to match the nice top I borrowed from Alice. Goody. but hair still mad.

10:30- hair is looking better now.

10:50- where the fuck is the fucking handbag?

10:53- hysterically looking for my mobile.

19:40- I've arrived late to the meeting, and there were about 15 people there, Edward was easy to spot, but when I entered everybody looked at me as if I came with someone and I'm looking for the loo. Edward ignored me and just kept chatting to some attractive young girl who was sitting next to him. Until I sat next to a nice bloke, everybody started throwing ideas concerning the project. And I forgot what it was about.

I had no idea what to say, I had no idea how to show my wit on this project. And there were a lot of people who were going to work on this project. And most of the girls are attractive. Wonder if Edward can read their mind. And why he had ignored me all day. why? Why?

We took a small break, and during that break I couldn't talk to Edward, for I was looking for the loo. And then I looked for some food.

When we came back they all sat and there was no moment of privacy between Edward and me. Fuck them ALL. why they were so many?
After few hours, still struggling to understand their topics we've finished. And finally when most of them left Edward approached me and said "I guess there would be no need to worry for now, James has come back to America" and then turned to speak to another couple who were calling him, then called over his shoulder, "will call you when I schedule the next meeting".

I haven't even signed the contract if I'm going to work on this project. Today's meeting was just a small meeting, for introducing our themes.

And now I have to wait for his phone call, which might take a year. I HATE THAT SODDING JAMES. Why he had to disappear now? Why? WHY? next time I'll see him I'll trap him in my room and call Edward. Or maybe I should call James and let him come and then call Edward? Will have to think of that later.

Minutes thought of Edward: 50 (better), plans to get Edward to my room: 23, good plans to get Edward to my room:0.

January 22nd 2008 Tuesday

14:00- goody. Jess just called to tell me that she's free and that I should go to her flat to see how it looks like. And decide if I'm coming to live with her or not.

22:00- her flat was really nice, small but nice, so I stayed over, we had few drinks and I stayed for a while, and decided that I should move in with her, by Friday, and she said she knows a friend who works as a manager for some young artists, and he was looking for some directors to make music videos for them. It's going to be brilliant. I don't know if Edward would be calling me for the job, and he hasn't called yet, so I should move on. And here's an open opportunity for me.

Minutes spent thinking of Edward: 20 (Excellent), progress of packing to move out: 10% (so excited), annoyed by Mum: 10 (3 days left and she's history).

January 25th 2008 Friday

16:30- Jess came to help me pack my things, she was really nice and we had fun while packing. Eventually Mum gave me a hug when I left. It was a little bit sad to leave the house, and moving to another. I told Jess I won't stay long with her, it's only till I find another flat, and leave her alone. She said I could stay as much as I want, and she's excited she has found someone to share a flat with her.

Then she called Martin Thomas, her mate the manager. And he said he would be delighted to meet me on Monday and see what we can do. That's exactly what I should be doing, instead of worrying about vampires, should focus on career. I'm going to be famous.

23:30- the girls were here celebrating my moving out. I'll just drink another glass of champagne and I promise to go to sleep.

Progress of packing: 80% (the rest will pick them later), Drinks to celebrate my moving out: 2 bottles of champagne.

January 28th 2008 - Monday

18:00- Today I went to Martin's office. When I entered there was a short middle aged bloke with curly blond hair. Not as I imagined him.
"I've heard you've done some fantastic video clips for some really great artists" he said, "Patrick Fiori? I'm impressed" who?

And that's how I found a new job.

Feb 4th Monday

8:00- I'm starting to work with the new music video today. With a young artist, her name is Lisa Tunks, she's only 17. I hate young artists, they make me feel so old and useless.

15:00- that Lisa Tunks artist looked like a Bratz doll.

"Isabella" she screamed, "I'm so glad I get to work with you. Oh my God. You look so young"
"yeah, well. Thanks" I said amused with myself for being young.
"I can't believe you're 35, you look 5 years younger" huff. Didn't she mean 10 years younger? Hate teenagers.

20:00- it was disaster day. I have no idea how to make a good music video that will match a Bratz doll style. And only less than two weeks till valentines. Haven't got a steady boyfriend yet. Hate my life.

Feb 8th Friday

18:00- love weekends. And hate Bratz dolls. We've met again yesterday and today. and we started shooting the music video. Lisa was horrible. she has brought her boy friend and looked as if they were going to shag in any single second.

"when you'll give me a kiss?" her 19 year old boyfriend kept saying whenever he found me alone. Again. I repeat. I hate teenagers.

Feb 14th Thursday

12:00- haven't got a card for valentines.

14:00- still haven't god a card.

16:00- no card yet. I'm hoping to get one by anonymous.

22:00- fuck it. I hate Valentines. It's the only day that makes singletons feel so fucking lonely.

Valentines cards: 0, calls from Edward/James/Jacob:0, number of romantic films I've watched:16.

I'm sorry if I hurt anyone by saying "I hate teenagers", it's not personal. just a small joke.