Last Sight
By Sarah J. Grey

Disclaimer: I don’t own Twilight or Nessie, just this little old story.

Sometimes, just sometimes, she wishes she couldn’t cry. She wishes to be like other vampires, lacking in fluids save for the venom in their bodies so she can’t cry. But since she’s special (she hates that word) she can, so she lets it all out into her pillow while her mother rubs her back soothingly and tries to calm her down. But she can’t be calmed down, and she doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to calm down, because she has just broken someone’s heart for the first time.

It started out nicely enough; another visit from a family friend, the werewolf Jacob Black, which usually happened several times each month. She’d been happy enough about it; she always enjoyed his calming and laid back prescence, which made her relax and forget the worries of the hectic life she led now. She tried not to let her awkward nature around him show too much, in order to avoid what she assumed would eventually come. ‘I’m not ready for that talk, I’m not ready.’ She would tell herself, convincing herself that maybe Jacob would never approach her with anything of the sort. But she knew better, of course, but she decided not to think on those thoughts for very long.

She should have seen the signs when Jacob asked her to go outside into the woods surrounding their house alone, for a private conversation. She didn’t hesitate, of course, because her nature causes her to automatically trust him and thinking it’d be just a fun little walk, ignoring the looks he gave her as she stepped out of the front door. They walked for a while, commenting on trees or a bird they could hear somewhere above them. Then they reached a small clearing, and she laughed, running into it and looking up at the sky she could clearly see.

Then everything just seemed to fast forward. Jacob approached her, calling her Nessie (she didn’t have the heart to tell him she hated that nickname, even though he was the one who gave it to her, because everyone now called her Messy Nessie) asking her if maybe one day they’d go on a date, and she had paused, her chest tightening when she realized the time was now and why did it have to be now? In her panic, she accidentally let her power go and showed him a memory of a boy who’s very special to her, a boy named Daniel, and she closed her eyes after seeing the look of pain flash across his face.

“Sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t.”

There was silence, and then she ran, tears already falling down her face. Jacob called after her, but she picked up her speed, thankful for once for her vampiric abilities. She ran as fast as she’d ever gone, as fast as she could make herself go, because she wasn’t ready for that sort of talk, would probably never be ready to hurt the one she loved, but didn’t love. Soon she made it back to her house, and without caring that her shoes were covered in wet grass, ran through the front door and into her room, shutting the door closed behind her.

And now here she is, crying on her bed and wondering why, why was I the one he imprinted on? She had never asked for his romantic affections; she only wanted him as a lovable big brother who she could run to when times were hard, as she had often done. She had assumed maybe that’s how their relationship would stay; big brother, little sister. But she had a way of ignoring things she didn’t want to think about, so she never thought on how he would want to pursue a romantic relationship with her. She was a coward for not thinking about it, and worse still for running away from him without explaining.

Still, she cries, because she feels horrible at hurting the one she loves so deeply, and she feels worse because now she realizes he’ll forgive her, because that’s all he can do. She’s the center of his universe, he has no choice but to forgive her for any sort of heinous crime like breaking his heart, and he will continue to see no one else but her, because he can’t see anyone else but her, and she despairs for it, and she will always despair for it. The bracelet he gave her many years ago suddenly pulls her arm down, it is so heavy, and in a fit of anger she tears it off and throws it with all her might, where it breaks the window and lands in somewhere in the forest beyond.

Time passes, and she wakes up in the middle of the night, her eyes dry and itchy from having cried so much. She sighs at the lack of any eye drops in the house due to her family being all vampire save for her (the ever special half vampire, half human, one of the only two in the world) and she sits up in bed, realizing slowly that she’s still in her day clothes. Though she’s not sure she can sleep now, she gets up anyway and changes, then gets back into bed and sits there, before blinking and actually looking at what she’s been staring at for the past five minutes.

The bracelet Jacob had given her is back in her room, on her windowsill, as if someone found it and brought it back. Someone did find it and bring it back, she knows, and she reaches for it and picks it up, looking at it blankly and willing herself not to cry.

It doesn’t work.

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Author’s Notes: Well, there it is. This was inspired by a question I asked when I did the first chapter of Jacob’s book in Breaking Dawn for Sort Of Beautiful’s Epic Series Reread on Livejournal, where I asked “Why is it that every werewolf manages to end up in a relationship with the one they’ve imprinted on?” I thought it’d be interesting to see what would happen if Nessie rejected Jacob, so this fic was born. I’m sorry if it doesn’t make much sense; it was written at 1:30 at night and it sort of got away from me. Hope you enjoyed it, though! I may start a series for Nessie later, if the fancy takes me.