|You're the Closest to Heaven I'll Ever Be
Author: Phantom of a Rose PM
“Before Edward left, I couldn’t imagine living without him...I thought I would die...and when he did leave, I almost did. I never thought anyone would take his place in my life; even begin to fill his shoes....but now here you are." TotallyAU. BellaJasperRated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Bella & Jasper - Chapters: 14 - Words: 41,274 - Reviews: 287 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 09-18-09 - Published: 08-27-08 - id: 4502992
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Oh my goodness - I'm back! J
I can't wait for New Moon - can you! J There's a lot of delicious Jacob! And Edward! Omg, this movie will rock. J
On another note, if you have a LiveJournal account, you should totally drop by my add me as a friend and whatever. And if you don't have an account, you should still go look at it. I post some of my fanart graphics on there - at the time it's mostly Twilight and New Moon, but I might expand on all that. And comment! Please!!! JThe link is on my profile. Puhlease! I really want people to see my graphics. I like to dabble.
And oh my gosh! J I FINISHED MY 1ST DRAFT TO MY BOOK! You know - my original work! -faints- It's so awesome. And my friend Ashly read it - in less than a day and loved it! J Excitement! Now I just need to find someone to publish it!
Okay, lyrics for the chapter (pay attention to them!):
And I'd give up
forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
Iris, The Goo Goo Dolls J
"Isabella Marie Swan."
My stomach jumped as the principal called my name. I slowly stood and walked to the front of the stage, making sure I wouldn't trip over my graduation gown - nothing would be more embarrassing in this moment.
When I finally made it up the stairs, I let myself hear the clapping in the audience, and distinctly heard Jacob's wolf whistle. I blushed, of course. The slightly short man gave me my diploma, and I turned to my mini cheering section. My mom, dad and Phil were there, and my mom was crying. Esme and Carlisle looked just as proud as my own parents, as if I were their daughter. Even Rosalie and Emmett were smiling. Jacob and the other wolves were also there, and all of them looked actually at ease to be near a family of vampires.
And of course, Jasper, who was the one my eyes lingered on. He had a stunning smile on his face, and waved at me when I caught his eyes. This also made me blush.
I walked off stage to were Alice and Edward were standing, in gowns the same as my own, and yet they looked like golden angels in theirs and I looked like I was swimming in mine.
When the last person in our senior class was called, and the principal said a few more words, all the new grads went to their waiting families. I was passed from hug to hug in my group, as were Alice and Edward.
"I'm so proud!" cried Renee, surprisingly hugging me even tighter than either werewolf or vampire.
"So am I, Bells," said Charlie gruffly. I had a feeling he was trying not to cry.
Renee, Charlie, Phil and I went to dinner afterwards, the Cullens declined politely (except for Jasper). Jacob and his dad decided to tag along as well.
I stuffed myself at dinner, only because Jasper kept slipping his food onto my plate. Only Jacob and I noticed this, of course.
"Charlie," said Jasper after we were finished eating. "Is it alright if I take Bella out - for some dessert?"
"Of course," said Charlie, who was lazily rubbing his belly.
"Thanks dad," I said, standing up. I kissed him and my mom on the foreheads.
"Hey," said Jacob teasingly. "Do I get a kiss?"
I laughed and kissed his cheek. "Happy?" I asked him.
When I got into Jasper's Jaguar and we began to drive, I sighed and leaned into his shoulder. "Congrats, Grad," he whispered.
I giggled. "Thanks. It feels amazing to be out of high school." I paused. "Jasper? When will I be changed? You said I should wait till I graduated. I am - so when can Carlisle change me?"
Jasper frowned a little. "As soon as you want. I'd imagine you'd want to wait till your mother returns home in a week - this will be the last time you'll see her," I finished sadly.
"Yeah," I said, my throat was dry.
"But after that…whenever. You'll have to give Charlie a story, though. It would probably be better to use college as a disguise." Jasper paused, then suddenly got an idea. "Or you could come on a trip to Europe - or at least say that's what you will do. Say that you'll be there we my family all summer, then when it comes time for college, you won't have to come back here. You'll just have to tell Charlie you're too busy, and can only call him, you know? And my family can decide to move away then, too. Carlisle can say he decided to stay in Europe, even."
I nodded. "That sounds good." I took a deep breath. "So in about two weeks?"
"It's a date," Jasper agreed. "I'll tell Carlisle." Then Jasper grinned. "But right now I want to discuss something different."
I hadn't noticed until just now that that the car was parked. I opened my door and stepped out when Jasper did. It was dark outside, so I could only see so much, but the Jaguar's headlights helped.
We were on the edge of some sort of cliff. It was grassy, and just over the cliff you could see the full moon and starry sky. "Beautiful," I murmured.
"Yes, you are," Jasper whispered in my ear as he held me in his arms. We stood their silently for a while, looking at this sky, then Jasper abruptly let me go. "I came here to ask you something." I nodded, a bit confused. My confusion vanished when Jasper lowered to one knee and pulled out a small velvet box. "Marry me, Bella."
My eyes widened comically, I'm sure. It was too much of a surprise. In my head, I remembered Renee's rants about getting married too young, and while Jasper certainly wasn't 'young', I was. I never imagined getting married for many more years - even as in love I was with Edward. And even though I was completely in love with Jasper…I couldn't really imagine him as a husband. I wanted to cringe at the thought.
"Jasper," I finally said. "You know I'm not a marriage person - at least not so young."
"Young?" Jasper said with a grin.
"You know what I mean," I said, frowning. "To me, marriage isn't a lasting thing. It isn't forever."
"But we are forever, Bella," said Jasper. My heart melted.
"I know we are…but attaching 'marriage' makes me….wary, you know? Just now. It might change, later. When I'm a vampire, and we've been together longer."
Jasper nodded slowly. "I understand, Bella." Then he grinned wickedly. "But I'll have you know, Bella, I'm old fashioned, and I won't be sleeping with you until I get a ring on your finger."
"What?" I asked. I was surprised. I know he said there wasn't any possible way to do that when I was human, but I thought when I was a vampire…
"Yes," he said curtly. "Alice and I waited…true, we married a month after we met….but we did wait. My mother would turn in her grave if she knew I didn't go about this in a southern gentlemen way." He grinned.
I sighed, and looked down at the ring. It was pretty. Very simple, golden band with a medium size diamond in the center. I had the impression that it was from the same time period as Jasper came from. Then I wondered if he was trying to seduce me into this 'marriage' thing. Of course, I knew he wasn't, really. He was just telling me the truth. And I wasn't going to change my mind because of…sex.
"I accept your terms," I said. "I understand we won't sleep with each other until we're married, but that marriage isn't going to happen fore a while…in fact - as me again when I finally get control of myself as a newborn. And my eyes are as gold as yours."
Jasper straightened up and pocketed their ring box. "Will do." Then he kissed me.
A week after Renee and Phil left Forks, I did as well. I told my dad I would be spending the summer on a tour of Europe with the Cullens. I'm sure he only allowed it after Esme and Carlisle promised to take good care of me. Our goodbye was…sad. For me even more so, because I knew it would be our last moments together. And Charlie knew that he wouldn't be seeing me for a long time, since I would be going to 'college' right after I returned from Europe and wouldn't be coming back to Forks until Christmas break - which of course I wouldn't be.
Instead of getting on a plane, I drove in Jasper's care to Alaska - all the other Cullens following us in their own vehicles. I slept half of the time, and talk to Jasper the other half. We talked about random things, but he also was preparing me for my change.
When we got to their house in Alaska, which was in the middle of no where, my nerves really kicked in. I tried to focus on the house - it was beautiful, of course. It was a huge log house, with glossy windows. The inside was very homey, with comfy looking furniture and warm colors.
The family all gathered in the living room, and I held on tight to Jasper.
"Bella," Carlisle asked. "Do you want to wait until tomorrow to start your change?"
I didn't want to give myself time to think. "No - I have to do it now. I'll get to…scared if I wait."
"Very well," said Carlisle. "Follow me." I followed him up the stairs, still holding onto Jasper, the rest of the Cullens trailing behind us.
Carlisle opened the door all the way down the long hallway. There was a queen bed on one wall, a dresser on another, and a desk. All the furniture was white, and the walls a powder blue - the room was calming.
And so was Jasper. He was trying is best to send me calming waves. I accepted them gladly. Carlisle told me to lay on the bed. I did so, still holding Jasper hand. Everyone gather on the other side of the room, observing quietly. Carlisle pulled out a syringe and injected in into my arm. "Morphine - I'm hoping it will make the change more manageable," he explained. I nodded stiffly. I could already feel the drug's numbing effects.
Alice skipped over to me suddenly, leaned down and kissed my cheek. "I love you, Bella. Everything will be fine," she said knowingly. I nodded again. Alice reassumed her spot next to Edward, who looked pained. I knew why, of course, but I tried not to dwell on it.
I laid back on may back, then took a deep breath. I stared into Jasper's honey eyes. "I'm ready Carlisle."
I felt Carlisle icy hands gingerly probe by neck, then felt his lips on the same spot. I focused only on Jasper. I was doing this for him - to be with him forever. It didn't matter how much pain I went through.
There was a slight pressure on my neck. Nothing painful. Then there was a little bit of burning. I felt Carlisle's lips on my arm - another pressure. Another pressure on my other arm.
Then the burning began.
I didn't want to scream. I didn't want them to know my pain. Rosalie told me a few days ago that it did no good to scream.
And I found that I couldn't. I was numb from the morphine, I processed dumbly. It wasn't lessening my pain - just causing me to withstand it silently and in stillness.
I wasn't sure if this was a blessing or curse.
I also realized - how much after Carlisle's bites, I wasn't sure - that Jasper was trying to calm me with is powers. I think it worked, slightly. I felt the burning, but I didn't care as much. It was strange. But as the burning continued, the calm lost its effects. Was that because the fire was intensifying, or Jasper's strength was waning?
For a time, I lost my cognitive thought. I couldn't think of anything but the pain. Pain, pain, pain. Fire, fire, fire. Burning, burning, burning.
Then I began to hear voices. Jasper's - Carlisle's - Alice's. I couldn't make out the words, just the tones. Then later, the words.
"How much longer?" asked Jasper.
"Soon," answered Carlisle.
The conversation ended.
As the burning left my toes, and worked its way up, I also felt the morphine leave my blood. But I still stayed completely motionless. It was almost done - I couldn't start screaming now.
The fire was only in my chest now. Burning, burning, burning! I heard by own heart beat ferociously. Then I heard it stop. And I felt no more fire.
At first, I couldn't believe that there was no more pain. The memory was still burned into my mind. Next, I couldn't believe I could hear no heart beat. I couldn't hear my own, or any other in the room - though I heard soft breathing from…one, two, three….seven people.
"Bella," said a soft voice. "Bella. Open your eyes."
It was Jasper's voice. To there new ears, he sounded even more magically. I would do anything for this voice.
I opened my eyes.
Jasper's face - his magnificent, beautiful, breathtaking face - hovered over my own. I could see all the contours of this face - this face I had stared at for hours- that I had never seen before. It was even more stunning than before. How could I have missed these details?
Before I could even think of doing so, I was kissing Jasper - holding him. A burning - not painful like my change - but slow and consuming overtook me. I knew then that I still felt like myself, even in this new body.
"I love you," I said in a voice I didn't really recognize. It sounded like bells.
"I love you," Jasper said. "Forever."
"Forever," I repeated.
"Jasper," I laughed. "Where are we going?"
"A small coffee house," he answered.
"Why?" I giggled.
"Humor me," Jasper said.
I looked out the window of the speeding car, capturing every detail with my sharp eyes. I was completely adjusted to this new body. Jasper couldn't even believe how fast I did adjust. I had an amazing talent for resisting human blood - Jasper was sure I was never even a newborn. And Alice had been helping me hone my newly found talent - a sort of shield, we described it as. It had only been six months since my change, but Jasper insisted I acted like I was decades old. I could even go into small public places.
We arrived at a cozy looking coffee house, made of brick with small sitting areas with big arm chairs and couches. I was aware of the two people in the corner, and three people on the couch near the front, but didn't feel like I would lose control. Their scents were appetizing, but I kept my cool.
Jasper and I settled into an oversized arm chair. A love struck teenage girl came to us, staring at Jasper with doe eyes. I smiled - I knew how she felt. We order two cups of black coffee that we wouldn't drink, and they were quickly brought out.
"So," I asked when the young girl had left, dumbstruck at the huge tip Jasper gave her. "Why are we here exactly." I touched the coffee cup, feeling its warmth on my icy skin.
Jasper stood, grinning, and god to his knee. My eyes widened - again? This was happening again? I heard a gasp from the corner, and one from the young girl at the counter. Jasper just smiled and said, in a low voice only he and I could hear, "Well, you did say to do this again when your eyes were as gold as mine and you had complete control. You have been in control for quite some time - just look around you at the humans here - and you could look in a mirror to check your eyes." He smiled, knowing he was right.
I looked at the simple ring - it really was beautiful. I looked at Jasper - so was he. And I loved him. Forever. Why should being married change that?
I grinned. "Well…I did promise, right?" Jasper nodded. I took a deep breath. "I will marry you, Jasper." Jasper smile was electric - the seven people in the coffee house clapped when Jasper handed me the ring.
"Read the inscription," he said softly.
I looked inside the gold band, and read the small letters out loud. "I'd give up forever to touch you." I smiled and placed the ring on my finger, then took his hands in mine. "Yes. Forever." Then I kissed my fiancé.
Yay! I got to use another lyric from Iris. J Like it? I was thinking about using "You're the Closest to Heaven I'll ever be" but I decided to go with the other line from the song. Like?
Okay - this isn't it, I don't think. I probably will write an epilogue - maybe set a decade later? What I need to know before I write that though…do you want me to give Alice and Edward a significant other?? Next, do you want it to be a(n):
-Garrett for Alice and another vampire from the series for Edward (and who)
-OR do you want Alice and Edward to be together? Really, I could do any of those choices. But I'd like your feedback.
Okay….other than that…please review and tell me if you liked this chapter! And check out my LiveJournal! Please!!!! J