A.N - Sirius not dead. Don’t know why I decided that; can’t remember when I wrote the plot let alone why.

Two f-words in this chapter, sorry it’s just so hard to control him when he’s drunk.

-

It was without a doubt the ugliest pavement slab Severus had ever seen. ‘But then who am I to talk?’ he asked himself sombrely. His long pale hands crawled out from underneath himself and he slowly heaved his drunken body up away from the pavement.

It hadn’t been one of Severus’ better nights.

After leaving Hogwarts he had drowned himself in so much liqueur he wasn’t too sure what his name was. It could be Severus… but it might be Bill. He wasn’t certain. But he was sure that he was in a very stupid situation. Severus looked around the desolated street, hidden away in muggle London and wondered when his life had taken such a terrible turn. Hermione’s face bloomed before his eyes and with a snarl Severus’ arms gave out and he flopped back onto his stomach on the pavement. He decided he might as well stay there; no one cared what happened to him. Severus closed his eyes and tried to ignore the ache in his nose as it dug into the concrete painfully. A small bottle of whiskey was also pushing into his hipbone, where it was trapped beneath his muggle coat. With a grunt of annoyance Severus conceded to roll onto his back to spare the alcohol; it never did anything wrong after all.

The house above him looked… familiar. Severus’ brow furrowed and he blinked owlishly up at the big black London town house. A grinning man with dark hair pulled the curtains of an upstairs window shut and Severus finally realised where he was. He staggered to his feet and gripped the railing of the front steps. He raised his booted foot and started to climb up, clinging to the rails for support. His pale knuckles reached out and he knocked loudly on the door. He waited but no one came. His hands became fists and he banged on the door loudly. Still no one answered.

“Wolf! Hey!” he yelled to the upstairs windows and he banged harder. “Wolf!” the door swung open aggressively and he was left banging on thin air. An annoyed Remus Lupin looked up at him in shock. Severus didn’t notice the flushed cheeks and the state of half undress the man was in. He held up his whiskey bottle and tried to smile invitingly. “Drink?” Remus pushed the door open more and Severus walked onto the old Order Headquaters.

“Severus, you are pisse…”

“Mooney, who was it?” yelled a disembodied voice from up the stairs. Remus rubbed his face tiredly and pushed Severus along the hallway and into the kitchen.

“We have a visitor, Sirius.” The sound of running footsteps, robes quickly being thrown on and the bang of a door could be heard until suddenly Sirius was jumping down from the last step. “Severus is drunk.” Sirius scowled and pushed past Remus to get into the kitchen.

Whilst this was going on Severus had dropped down into a chair and slumped himself over the table. He had pulled the cork out of his whiskey and as Sirius stormed in, followed by Remus he was morosely chugging the drink like water. Severus coughed delicately and looked up with blood-shot eyes to look at the two men.

“Hermione… bitch… love… stupid.” Remus and Sirius continued to watch the man as he rambled on, only catching an odd word every now and again. The two men looked at each other grimly. In a sudden flurry of activity Remus ripped the bottle from Severus’ grip and Sirius shot a gallon of water from his wand at the drunk.

“Sirius! I wanted you to wake him up a bit.”

“But he stinks!” Sirius protested, waving his wand in front of his nose, trying to waft the smell of cheap alcohol away. Remus sighed with exasperation and walked out of the kitchen mumbling about sobering potions. Sirius’ objection died on his tongue and in a mixture of sexual frustration and annoyance he kicked a chair back and took a seat opposite Severus. This was not how he had pictured his and Remus’ night ending.

“Sorry for disturbing you. I’ll just… be off.” Sirius watched Severus try to push himself up from the table. His arms quaked and his shoulders shook. Sirius’ wand pushed him back into the wooden chair. Sirius was suddenly filled with pity… and curiosity.

“You’re Remus’… friend.” The words sounded odd on his tongue, he scrapped his teeth across the muscle, trying to rid himself of the weird taste. A clank brought him out of his disgust and he looked gleefully at Severus’ head resting on the table. He had never seen him so vulnerable. A guilty voice at the back of his mind, which had always sounded a bit like Remus, told him he was being cruel. But then when again was he ever going to have the chance to get the sheer amount of blackmail material he could get right at that moment? Sirius pointed his wand at Severus’ head, his fingers flicked and soon Severus was sitting upright in his chair, looking befuddled.

“Wh…?”

“What’s wrong, Severus?” he asked innocently, his head came forward to rest on his fingers and he looked up at the dark man across from him.

There was a reason Severus hadn’t drunk from the time he was seventeen to the end of the second war. Alcohol simply didn’t agree with him. It lowered his paranoia and loosened his tongue. As a result drunken Severus saw nothing wrong with telling this man (who he only faintly recognised) about his horrible girlfriend. Locked away in a tower of Gin bottles the sane Severus was screaming at himself.

“I miss her… so much.” Severus lent forward, pleading silently with the nice man to believe him.

“Miss who?” This situation was really too good to be true. Sirius grinned triumphantly as Severus’ countenance darkened and he opened his mouth again.

“Hermione.” Sirius suddenly remembered the three hours he had spent laughing after Remus told him Snape and little Hermione Granger were dating… then Remus had convinced him he was being serious.

“Oh.” He said, not knowing how to get more information from the professor. Severus nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes! It burns…” Severus patted his chest harshly, “here, burns whenever I think about her. That’s not normal is it?” Sirius frowned; that was how it felt if Remus was gone too long… “But now she’s off fucking Roland when I’m the one who should be doing the fucking.” Sirius artfully raised an eyebrow and tried to control his shock. He gripped the wooden table edge and pushed himself onto his chair’s hind legs, trying to look sophisticatedly nonchalant. “I even miss her telling me off when I said something cruel about Lupin. And she has the most amazing smile in the world. And she’s so smart… and nice.” Sirius nodded determinedly. He dropped his chair back down to the stone floor of the kitchen and nodded again. All thoughts of blackmail and vulnerability had flown from his head.

“Remus?” he yelled over his shoulder towards the man who was still hunting for the sobering potion. In Severus’ words he had suddenly seen himself, hunched over in the library of his ancestral home, nursing a stiff whiskey and wishing Remus would come home. Sirius walked with a sympathetic gait in his step out of the kitchen. One hand gripped the banisters and he swung himself around the black wood and onto the first step with the grace of a man half his age. Remus’ head poked itself around the corner of the first landing wall.

“Yes?”

“Mooney, my love. We’re going on a road trip.”

-

It took three hours for the cold night air to sober Severus up enough for him to ask where they were going. Sirius and Remus had to grab onto the tail of the old rickety broom the man was on to stop him turning around and heading home. But after a lot of persuasion and insults they were flying steadily on their way again. They stared down at the ground hundreds of feet below, freezing on their brooms until they landed hazardously in a muddy field full of small pointy tents. Severus twisted his fingers together in agitation and looked around them. He searched through the swarms of fat men with moustaches until suddenly he spotted her, climbing out of a small blue tent. He watched Hermione brutally rub tears out of her eyes and sniff delicately from twenty metres away. She didn’t spot the three men watching her. A blond man appeared from the tent flaps behind her, stretching his neck and looking up at the stars. Hermione turned to wait for him, and the air was knocked out of Severus’ lungs as he watched the man put an arm around her shoulders.

“I think that’s Roland.” Remus commented lightly. Severus couldn’t suppress the snarl that erupted from his throat and he began to stalk forward infuriated. A calm hand landed on his shoulder and the horrified, betrayed part of his brain let the man hold him back. He stared numbly as Roland whispered into Hermione’s ear. She looked up and once again he was struck by how beautiful she was. Hermione gasped and froze in the churned mud. A sharp push from Black to his upper back set him in motion and soon he was running towards her. Hermione smiled with red eyes and messy hair. As he ran closer he noticed small streaks of mud across her cheeks, soon Hermione too was running and Severus snatched her from the ground, and up into his arms.

Behind them Remus and Sirius remounted their brooms, setting off to find a bed and breakfast and finished what they started before Severus had interrupted them. Roland grinned happily at the embracing couple and he walked away whistling.

“I think I love you.” Severus whispered into Hermione’s ear. His arms tensed around her and regret washed over him as Hermione tried to pull away. He held onto tighter, horrified and not wanting to let her go. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how.” He said desperately trying to make amends. Hermione looked up into his eyes and smiled at him. She kicked her legs lightly in the air and pushed away again to show him she wanted to be put back on the ground.

“I don’t care…” She said contentedly when her feet had found the mud, she rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. “…because I love you too.”

-

“Oh Severus, don’t be stupid; Roland is gay!” Severus scowled up at the red canvas above him. His arm tightened around Hermione’s waist and he brushed his hair out of his eyes.

“No he’s not.”

“Yes he is! I think I would know.” Hermione said simply, she closed her eyes and decided to fall asleep.

“You ‘think you would know’? You mean he never even told you he was?” Severus asked scandalised, he raised his head and looked down at her frizzy curls. Hermione refused to answer and nuzzled into his neck. “Hermione! Don’t you dare go to sleep. Answer me now.” Hermione ignored him and pretended to snore.

“Oh… Roland.” She mumbled pretending to dream about her friend, Severus froze and shook her roughly.

“Don’t even start with that; I know you’re awake.” Hermione cracked open one eye and peered up at him through the darkness of her tent.

“I’m coming home with you tomorrow, aren’t I? The least you can do is shut up and let me get some sleep.” Severus released his scowl on her. Hermione closed her eyes again contentedly and rested her head on his chest.

“Stupid woman… should leave you here.” Hermione peeked up at him again and caught him looking at her fondly through his mumbles

“Love you too, Severus.”

-

A.N This is finished I guess. Thought I’d put a bit of banter at the end because I suddenly got annoyed with sentimental Snape. The ‘what broke Hermione?’ question hasn’t really got an answer. Come to your own conclusion because it doesn’t matter because whatever it was brought her to Severus in the end so it’s just a part of the journey and not that important.

Thanks to all my lovely reviewers. Sorry if the ending seemed rushed and this note a bit dejected; going into a bit of a funk.