Author: SydneyAustralia PM
Aro in a grill? Spring Fevers? Tattoos? Piercings? What has poor Eddie gotten himself into?Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Bella - Words: 951 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 08-29-08 - id: 4506817
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, Grillz, Miami Ink, Lip Gloss, but I have been victim to Spring Fever. Although, I am not now, nor have I ever been pierced, inked, or a gangster vampire.
"Edward, follow me." I murmured, and led him up the stairs. He looked confused, but as I crept into Alice's room he looked less confused. I padded over to the small safe in her closet, and turned the dial. 65, 123, 98. Inside the safe was Alice's supply of credit cards, which I took out and stuffed into my under armor long sleeve shirt. We ran back down the stairs, where I threw the credit cards into the fire place, and threw in a couple of matches.
"Love, why are you doing this?" Edward asked, horrified.
"Alice stole my bunny. She will pay." I said darkly.
"Bunny?" Edward asked, his voice flat.
"Yes, the bunny I have had since kindergarten. That evil vampire stole it, and said that I am too old for stuffed animals. And then she threw it into the disposal as I looked on." I growled.
"She did that to you? Oh, my poor Bella." He murmured soothingly.
"Next is Jasper. C'mon." I said, and he carried me up to his room, where I had black hair dye, fake tattoos, fake earrings, belly button rings, nose rings, and eyebrow rings. I dyed my hair first, and the contrast between my pale skin and jet black hair was shocking. Then I put tattoos on my shoulders, arms, ankles, and the small of my back. The funniest part of my makeover was the fake piercing. I had a dangly belly button ring in the shape of a bat, which was an actual belly button ring. I slid it into the tiny hole in my belly button, as Edward looked shocked.
"You pierced your navel?"
"Yep, freshman year. On spring break in Miami. It was pretty fun, except we also went on Miami ink, and I got a tattoo. Wanna see?" I asked. He nodded mutely. I flashed him the rose on my side, and he pressed his fingers to his temple.
"Are you mad at me?"
"If I could be mad at you, I would be, but I am incapable at ever being angry at you, love. But why?"
"Um, I had the fever?" I said.
"Spring Fever. The urge to be wild and rebellious on spring break. All teenagers get it nowadays." I explained.
"Sure they do. Why isn't the Dog pierced and inked then."
"He is." I said sagely.
"I highly doubt that." He said, and I picked up the phone.
"Hey, Jake, it's me. I'm at Edward's house, and I need you to come here real quick, if you don't mind. Great. See you in five." I chirped. In three minutes, Jake was running out of the forest, and he knocked on the back door.
"Hey, Bells. What do you need? Are you okay?" he panted.
"I am fine, Jacob, but I need you to show Edward your tattoo." I told him. He looked embarrassed, but complied. I saw the tattoo of a swan on his calf. Edward looked aggravated.
"I suppose this is a monument of your love for Bella, mongrel?"
"Look, bloodsucker, this is a product of the fever. Not my fault. Seriously, it really is a pain to have a bird permanently tattooed on my ankle. The fever is to blame, completely." Jacob said, reasonable. Or as reasonable as a werewolf could be around a vampire.
"Fine, so why have I not been struck by this so-called 'fever'?"
"I don't know, Emmett and Alice go through it yearly. Maybe you're just not…susceptible to the Spring Fever. But there is a way to stimulate it. Jacob, get the secret weapon!" I giggled. Jacob grabbed the CD player, and pressed play. Seconds later, 'Lip Gloss' by Lil Mama came on over the speakers, and Jake and I started spontaneously dancing, singing along with the song.
"My lip gloss is poppin' my lip gloss is cool, all the boys keep jockin, they chase me after school!" I sang cheerily. We were dancing, and Edward looked severely confused. All of a sudden, Emmett came running in, Alice in tow.
"Alice got a vision! So is it Spring Fever time again?"
"Sure is, Emmiekins! Let's dance!!" I yelled, and he ran over, doing the cabbage patch as Alice chanted,
"Go, Emmiekins, it's your birthday, uh-huh!" over and over as she danced too. We must have been a sight: Two vampires, a werewolf, and me dancing to an annoyingly repetitive song as another gorgeous vampire looked on. Then the real fun started: Soulja Boy came on, and Aro ran in, yelling,
"This is my jam, man! C'mon, Marcus, let's shake it!" Aro began doing the Soulja Boy dance, as Marcus half-heartedly joined him, looking completely bored. Then I realized that Aro had on loose jeans, a tee shirt, and was showing six inches of heart printed boxers. I laughed hysterically, and Aro came over, showing off his platinum grill. Then Marcus flung himself at me, and kissed me. I struggled, but then I kissed him back, as I heard Edward yell,
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" I screamed, sitting bolt upright, wrenching the covers off my shaking body. I looked up, and seven vampires stood, looking at me, panicked.
"What's wrong Bella?" Edward asked, cautious.
"Tattoos…bunnies…lip gloss…Aro…in a grill…Marcus…the fever…Werewolf…Soulja Boy…" I muttered, traumatized. And then I fell back, into less scary dreams that made more sense.