Beacon

Logic was control.

Shockwave admired this statement, lived by it entirely. Logic prevailed over sentiment, over love, over compassion – it allowed for progression, for strength, for science. Shockwave never regretted the actions he took, no matter how detrimental they may have been, no matter who or what was harmed in the process. As a master of logic, he could not afford to be swayed by frivolous sentimentalities or inevitable failures.

There were times, of course, when logic and emotion corresponded with one another. This was a rarity unto itself, but the longevity of his life allowed Shockwave to witness such events from time to time. He could think of only a handful of particular moments that he had been in such a state – the first, most notable occasion was when he became a Decepticon. Why he became a Decepticon.

He… loved Megatron. That was not a lie, and he very much doubted anyone thought otherwise. However, the foolishness of the simple emotion was ultimately overwhelmed by the logic in following the Decepticon leader. The end was the same, either way – he was with Megatron. He was Megatron’s loyal, his most loyal supporter. Megatron was, and would always be, the beacon of the Decepticons – a symbol of hope in a dark time.

Ever logical, Shockwave did not believe in hope. The concept eluded him. Yet, he did not need to believe nor understand such things to fall victim to the vulnerability. Joy, fear, longing… devotion – all of these things stemmed from his immense hope.

Shockwave had hoped that Megatron would return to him. Those stellar cycles were spent in solitude for no other reason than hope. It was logical to remain at his post, of course – where else would he wish to go? – but it was not logic that forced him to stay.

Irrational hope – but the end was still the same. Megatron returned.

Every day, that feeling grew more… comfortable, or more ever-present. It presented itself in his mind as if it was secure. He trusted that, for no other reason than he wished to do so. A foolish mistake – one that he should have known would only serve to break him in the end.

His attachment to his planet is what prompted him to return now. It felt inevitable that he would return, in the end – perhaps he shouldn’t have, though. Perhaps he should have moved on, evolved, grown past this place.

Shockwave had nothing to gain any longer with his faction, not particularly. Shockwave did not follow Galvatron – the pain of seeing such a twisted version of his own master devastated him. He felt so pathetically emotional, so fragile – but the logic responded well to his emotions, once again. Galvatron was unpredictable, dangerous, irrational, and to follow him would be a grave mistake on Shockwave’s part.

His unwillingness to follow Galvatron into madness was a logical excuse for what he was doing now, but only a half-truth.

Optimus had eventually returned, had onlined again – Megatron had not. Megatron would not.

Shockwave was certain, absolutely certain if there was anyone in the universe that might comprehend his anomalous feelings, it would be Optimus. Optimus, who spared Megatron time and time again, who never ceased in his quest to convince the other of his ways rather than destroy him. Optimus, who even offered Megatron something other than war – an alternative to it.

Megatron never accepted Optimus’s offers – Shockwave was never certain his leader was never tempted, however.

Shockwave went to Optimus Prime. There were no other alternatives in his mind.

This was what he needed now.

Optimus looked upon the guardian silently upon their meeting – there was an expression of pity in his optics. Shockwave did not wish for pity, but perhaps he deserved it now that he was here, pleading for sanctuary from the burgeoning madness of his own faction. Hiding, escaping from the soldiers he had once nobly stood by.

‘It is illogical,’ said Shockwave.

‘Megatron was the only one who needed to change his mind,’ said Optimus wearily. ‘If he had just listened to me, we could have stopped the war.’

‘Megatron used to say the same of you.’

For a few moments, Optimus remained silent. ‘Megatron was proud,’ said Optimus. ‘He only wished me to agree because he wanted to win. Not because it was right.’

Morality – the concepts of wrong and right – were subjective to each faction, to each individual, although Shockwave felt little interest in conflicting with Optimus’ rhetoric. It did not matter. Quite honestly, Shockwave had long since learned how to accept the varying emotions of other mechs. After all, Shockwave felt the Decepticons were just as emotional as the Autobots they mocked, yet he followed the Decepticon way of life because it was the one that he believed would bring positive changes to their planet.

It hadn’t. Nothing had been made better, in the end.

‘I request to return to my post.’

A surprised expression crossed Optimus’s optics. ‘Your post is gone.’

‘Nevertheless – that is all I ask.’

There was silence between them, but it was not entirely bereft of context. Both of them thought of Megatron – powerful, persuasive, unpredictable. A beacon of hope for a change in their broken world. Megatron had had more power over the race than any of them alone could ever possess.

And now Megatron was gone.

They both felt they had lost something beyond just their hope. Different things, of course, but there was a single, similar thought they could share.

I just needed more time.

‘The others will not accept you,’ said Optimus, yet it was clear that he had relented – Shockwave had not doubted he would. ‘You killed their friends, their mates.’

‘You will accept me,’ responded Shockwave, not a trace of uncertainty in his tone.

Hesitantly, Optimus nodded. ‘We’ll see how much than counts for.’

Perhaps not much – Optimus had accepted Megatron as well, but it meant nothing in the end. Optimus’s sense of honor, his patience had cost him the lives of his own comrades – his compassion only brought death. In the end, Optimus had felt he had no choice – even then, Megatron’s death was the product of betrayal, not his wounds.

Optimus had been merciful, even in the end.

Shockwave could not be certain that Optimus’s faith in himself would be a wise choice on the Autobot’s part. However, Shockwave felt there was nothing to gain through betrayal.

Not yet, and maybe never. Likely never.

Optimus beckoned him, and Shockwave followed as obediently as he would have followed Lord Megatron. Optimus was yet another dangerous beacon of hope, one that believed that Cybertron could be salvaged. It was dangerous – foolhardy – but Shockwave could do nothing but succumb to that hope. Old as he was, weary as he was, his needs were simple now. His own goals had turned to dust – his research had been destroyed as well.

But he was home, and Shockwave still believed in a strong race, a thriving planet. A powerful leader. Optimus was not Megatron – not as powerful, not as tactically ingenious – but he was still powerful.

Despite everything, despite his dishonor, his weaknesses, Shockwave felt a sense of contentment. Logic. Serenity that could not be gained in Galvatron’s company. Soundwave would not understand his decision, and that bothered Shockwave in some vague, distant way – but with every passing moment, he found himself growing disinterested in a bond he had once found so preferable, and the bittersweet intimacies he had once partaken in. His interest – what little there was – was fixed only on the residual of Megatron’s spark energy, hidden somewhere in Optimus’s chest.

Optimus had been allowed to feel Megatron from the very core, the very life of him – a privilege that Shockwave had never been given.

Optimus Prime was all that was left of Lord Megatron – Optimus honestly had more of the Decepticon within his own spark than Galvatron did.

Slowly, Shockwave bowed his head. He did not look at Optimus. He knew there was no real logic in his actions, but he found his resolve wavering in light of simple desperation. Logic had not helped him before – Megatron had died despite everything Shockwave did to prevent it. Logic would not now help him now, either. This realization, more than any other, defeated Shockwave entirely.

‘I am, and always will be, loyal to you.’