A/N: Because it confuses even me sometimes, this chapter starts on a Monday. Monday, October 27th to be precise.

It was inevitable that Journey would make an appearance as one of my chapter songs. I heart Steve Perry.

"Any Way You Want It" by Journey

Oh, she said,
Any way you want it
That's the way you need it
Any way you want it

Chapter 16

EPOV

Boobs.

Boobs, boobs, boobies, boobs.

I had touched them.

Held them in my hands.

Bella's boobs…

I drifted off into another fantasy, completely ignoring everyone around me, including the professor at the front of the class who was droning on about the upcoming project that was due before Thanksgiving break in a month.

Movement and scuffling of feet jolted me away from fantasizing about the feel of Bella's boobs in my hands. I gathered my stuff up and raced back to my apartment, precariously throwing my books all over my desk in my haste to freshen up and change my shirt before I saw Bella in an hour.

It was uncommon for us to go out on a weekday, especially when we both had classes the next morning, but Bella had wanted to go see a movie so she could relax and "get away" after the math test she'd taken today. She said she didn't care what we saw so I had chosen Max Payne, even though I didn't particularly care to see it. It was just the only movie showing that sounded anywhere close to being interesting.

Opening the door to my closet to get a new shirt, I spotted my Halloween costume hanging prominently in the middle of the bar. It was completely different from what I usually chose to dress as, but I had it on good authority that Bella would love it. I didn't know what her costume was however, since she was keeping it under lock and key and refused to give me a hint. So I had no choice but to wait until Friday night when we went to a party in honor of the ghouls and ghosts that roamed the earth on All Hallow's Day.

I wanted to point out to Bella that it seemed like all we did was go to parties. We rarely stayed in, just her and me, but then that would negate the other night when we did in fact stay in and I touched her boobs.

Maybe I'd get to touch them again tonight…

After going twenty-one years without them – well, twenty years if you counted breast-feeding – you'd think I would be able to survive two days. But apparently I couldn't.

They were a part of me now. I needed to touch them frequently. Hourly, even.

How much longer until I saw Bella?

Glancing at the clock on my bedside table, I noted I had forty minutes. What was I doing again?

Oh, right. A shirt.

I grabbed one at random, not really caring what it looked like, just as long as it didn't have anything offensive in the writing or was wrinkled, and slipped it on. I went back into the bathroom to spray deodorant all over me again… just in case, and then ran out of things to do.

I hated arriving more than ten minutes early to anything, so I had no choice but to wait around, wasting time on something else. I slumped down into my computer desk chair and switched on my computer screen, bringing up a Firefox browser. Since I was OCD sometimes, I checked the movie time to make sure I had it right and then logged onto Facebook – because when you needed to waste some time, Facebook was the best invention since the television to do just that.

Noticing that Bella had added new pictures of her and other people from this summer to her profile, I clicked through them, smiling whenever I saw Bella genuinely happy and having fun. She was absolutely stunning when she was happy.

And the one where she was wearing a bikini on the beach… it was only natural for me to want to save that for later scrutiny. You know, in case she should ever need a 'before' picture for any reason.

Yeah, I was grasping at straws trying to justify saving that picture. I knew it. I just hated to admit I was such a… horn dog.

My mom would be so ashamed of me.

But on the flipside, my dad would probably start thanking God that I was indeed straight and he now had proof. We had a loving relationship, regardless of how often I felt the need to reiterate that I was heterosexual. He had told me when I was fifteen, and still a kiss virgin, that he would love me no matter my preference for a "partner".

He had actually said partner.

That remained number one on my "Most Embarrassing Moments" list to this day.

The few girls I'd dated since then did little to win him over, but having told him about Bella a couple of weeks ago seemed to tip the odds to my favor. It was only a matter of time before he accepted the fact that his only son was into girls.

Or rather, into a girl. Singular. As in, only Bella.

All other girls had ceased to exist for me, as cliché and pathetic as that sounded.

And of course, thinking about Bella brought me straight back to her soft, supple boobs.

Checking the time once more, I decided my rule was stupid and turned off the screen before all but running out of my room, collecting my keys and wallet off the dresser.

"What are we seeing again?" Bella asked, tilting her head back against the head rest as she looked at me.

"Max Payne," I answered, quickly glancing her way.

"And what is it about?"

"It's an alternative universe where a drug named Valkyr has basically destroyed this cop, Max Payne's life. I don't want to give too much away from the game because I'm not sure how they are going to present it in the movie, but the game was good. It was one of the few I was playing at the time that had an actual storyline," I explained.

"Hmm," Bella replied.

"Do you want to see something else?"

"No. No, it's fine. I'm still kind of spacey from that test." She rolled her head forward and relaxed into the seat.

I reached over to hold her hand. "What if we forgo the movie and just hang out?"

"Has possibilities," she mused. "Anything particular in mind?"

"Bookstore?"

I looked at her just as she began to lazily smile. "Bookstore," she agreed.

I don't know how it happened, but going to the bookstore had become this "thing" for us. We spent hours discussing our favorite books, arguing over which translation had truly captured the spirit of the original text better, and recommending must read stories to each other. It was typical for both of us to leave there with several newly purchased books.

I was trying to turn Bella onto reading Manga, but she refused to yield until I tried romance. And not the comedy romance stuff either.

No, she wanted me to read erotica. And then discuss it with her after.

The chances of that happening were slim to zero and she knew it, but that never stopped her from trying.

"Where do you want to start tonight?" Bella asked as we walked into the brightly-lit store.

"Sci-Fi?"

Bella laughed and swung our entwined hands between us. "You always want to start there."

"True… but I feel like you didn't give 'Neuromancer' a fighting chance." I pouted a little and gave her my sad eyes to back up my begging.

She bit her lip, looking very torn, and then nodded. "Okay. I'll give it another shot."

"Yay! And then 'Foundation'?" I asked excitedly.

"Don't push it," she said with a narrowing of her eyes.

I just smiled, knowing I was only letting her win this one battle and not the war. We made it to the science fiction section and I once again began telling Bella the good points to reading 'Neuromancer'. About how it started an entire sub-genre of science fiction and coined such terms as 'cyberspace' and 'ICE' while exploring aspects of science that were before the author's time.

But Bella wasn't buying it. "I just can't get past the first page. I feel like I need a glossary for every other word! And what is with the last couple of lines? I don't know if I want to read something that ends on such a sad note."

"Why are you reading the last page?" I exclaimed. "You're ruining the ending!"

She shrugged. "I like knowing how it turns out."

"Whatever happened to trusting someone? Bella, don't you trust me? Didn't you like the Tower and the Hive series that I recommended?"

"Yes," she sighed.

"Then trust that I know what I'm doing. Besides, this book will help you understand me better," I said softly. "And you might even enjoy it."

"Fine," she relented. "But you get to explain to me all the words that I don't understand."

I grinned, ecstatic that I had finally worn her down. "Deal."

"We're going to romance now," she declared, grabbing my hand and pulling me behind her. I reluctantly stepped into the aisle that was home to half-naked, built men and barely clothed, large-breasted women.

This was not the aisle for guys who had self-esteem issues when it came to their appearance and what appeal they held for the opposite sex. Namely, me.

"I know you won't normally look at historical romances, but this one really is great," Bella told me, placing a rather thick book in my hands.

"Outlander?" I read out loud. "What the hell is an outlander? Is that like Highlander?"

"No, it's someone who isn't Scottish. The book is about this woman who travels back in time to the eighteenth century and has to learn to live in this… barbaric Scotland."

"And you want me to read this?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes! It has the science fiction appeal to it, which I thought you'd enjoy. And the author puts a lot of detail into her writing, something I've noticed is a reoccurring theme in the books you pick out for me," she explained. "Plus I loved the relationship between Claire and Jamie, who are the main characters."

"Huh." That was all I could come up with. Bella was walking out on a limb because I had asked her to, and now she was asking for me to do the same thing.

She was sneaky. I'd give her that.

"Umm." I tried stalling so I could think of a way out of it, but nothing came.

Crap.

This book looked like a bloody saga and Bella expected me to read all of it?

"What did you like about their relationship in particular?" I asked, suddenly inspired.

"Well…" she began, turning shy.

Oh. It was that kind of book, was it?

"I liked how their relationship grew. It actually reminds me of ours a little," she said, looking down as she played with the ends of her hair.

"Really? In what way?"

"Claire is older than Jamie… and more experienced, so she kind of ends up showing him what to do," Bella slowly explained, turning a light shade of red.

I hummed in response, wondering how the guy, Jamie, handled it. Did he overthink it too? Did he stress about making a good impression? About not being too rough or over eager with such delicacy in his hands?

The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to know. There was a part of me – a part that was almost ineffable in its potency – that thirsted for such knowledge. And if I was lucky, I could maybe also figure out what it was about this couple that appealed to Bella so much.

"Okay…" I drew the word out, making it seem like this was a huge burden for me.

Bella's face lit up. "So you'll read it?"

"If it will make you happy, then yes."

Her grin was huge as she hugged me tightly. "Thank you, Edward. This is so exciting! If you like that one, then you can start on–"

"Whoa, let's not get ahead of ourselves," I interrupted. "I haven't even read the first page yet."

"Sorry," she said, reaching down to clutch my hand. "You ready to checkout?"

"You don't want to hang out anymore?" I asked, startled that this was all the time I was getting with Bella.

"That's not what I said," she retorted. "I just don't want to be here anymore."

"Um, okay." We went to the front and paid for our books. The cashier glanced at me after getting a good look at the title of the book, but didn't comment on it. It was enough, however, to make me wonder what kind of book I was buying.

Bella suggested we go over to my place after getting something to eat since there was always someone at the KD house, so first to grab a bite of food and then away to my apartment we went. It didn't take long to eat, since fast food lived up to its name.

I began getting nervous about halfway to my apartment because I had no idea what we were going to do.

Oh, please let it be more boob touching, I prayed fervently while waiting for a red light to change.

Breaking out into a cold sweat, I led Bella upstairs and unlocked the door, letting her walk ahead of me into the apartment. She turned around and began walking backwards, silently challenging me to follow her, which I did. I placed my new book on top of my desk and emptied out my pockets before sitting next to Bella on my bed.

"Hi," she said sweetly, leaning toward me.

"Hi," I breathed as our lips touched. Bella's arms circled my neck and she clutched at my hair, pressing herself against me. My palms skimmed her back and then I gripped her hips, slowly pushing her down onto the bed.

Lying on our sides, we kissed languorously, moans and hmms the only sounds permeating the air. Bella's hands on my bare skin caused me to pull her infinitesimally closer to me so her breasts were crushed into my chest.

It was torture feeling them against me when all I wanted to do was bury my face between them and never come up for air.

Bella arched her back and my hands slipped under her shirt, pushing it up and out of the way so I could have unmitigated access to her stomach. She grabbed the bottom hem and flung it to the side, becoming the first shirtless girl I had ever held in my arms or had in my bed. I paused, fingers spread and pressing into her back as I glanced down.

Her cleavage was the first thing I saw. Breasts pushed tightly together and up, begging for me to nuzzle them. The bra she wore was red and lacy, and it somehow made her pale skin shimmer around it.

My mouth had gone dry from hanging open, which I only noticed when I tried to say how lovely she was. It came out more as an inarticulate croaking sound. I glanced up at Bella, who was biting her lip and looking both nervous and amused. Snapping my mouth shut, I swallowed to wet my throat.

"You're exquisite," I rasped, finding it to be the closest word I had for her beauty. She smiled and then leaned in for another kiss. I fell into the touch of her soft skin under my hands, letting her surround my senses until she became the center of my world.

My fingers hit the back of her bra and I hesitated, getting sucked out of my immersion. Should I undo her bra myself? Wait for her to do it?

I had never undone a bra before. Honestly, I didn't know if I could. If movies and television shows were anything to go off of, bras were complicated undergarments designed specifically to frustrate insecure, virginal boys.

Bella pushing up my shirt brought me out of my thoughts. Her tugging on it led me to assume she wanted it gone, so I ripped it off and threw it down beside hers. She pressed back into me and the sensation of skin on skin contact made me weak… and unbelievably hot.

I was burning up, but all I wanted was to get closer to Bella.

Our legs entwined as I rolled her onto her back, keeping one hand underneath her to support my weight while the other touched every bare, enticing inch of skin.

Bella groaned and pulled back. "Can I take off your glasses? They keep hitting me in the nose," she said softly.

"Wha- yeah, sure," I agreed hastily, tossing the offending glasses onto my bedside table before she had a chance to remove them. Bella's giggles when I wasted no time getting my lips back on her turned into soft moans as I traced the delicate vein on the side of her throat with light touches of my tongue.

She arched her back, scratching her lace bound boobs against my chest. I moved to her collarbone and then sucked lightly on the pulse point at the base of her throat.

I couldn't... stop. I felt this compulsive need to touch, lick, taste, smell her.

I had no concept of time or my surroundings outside of Bella. There was just this need... to lose myself in her.

It drove me to do things I had only dreamed about before.

Trailing my mouth down her chest, I stopped at the space between her boobs and turned my head slowly. My nose grazed the swell of her breast and I breathed in, basking in the gentle roll of vanilla that came off her.

Reaching up, I slipped a bra strap off her shoulder and then with eyes tight shut, I skimmed my lips across her breast until I felt the raised bead of her nipple.

All these weeks of touching without feeling, of dreaming without seeing had come down to this moment. I released the breath I'd been holding and slowly opened my eyes, running them up to Bella's face to see her half-lidded, passion-filled gaze fixed on me and then her quick intake of air as I flicked her nipple with my tongue.

Years of repressed desire, years of waiting – of waiting for her – crashed down on me and I became mindless in my quest to release this tightness inside of me.

My hands ran up and down her sides as I licked, nipped, sucked and kissed every part of her that I could. My hazy awareness only caught the urgings from Bella as she writhed, moaned, and grasped my hair by its roots.

I felt so tight inside I was unable to catch my breath. There was this strain in my groin and I was so hard, aching to be inside her, that it physically hurt.

She removed her bra because I couldn't and my insatiable need to feel all of her had me fumbling with the button and zipper of her jeans not long after. Kicking them off, she wrapped her legs around me and kissed me with a savagery that matched mine.

Bella wedged a hand between us and cupped me, which relieved the pressure just enough for me to take a deep breath before her hand plunged into my pants and ran down the hard length of my erection.

I shuddered, gasping, as the heat from her hand ignited a fire within me. She tightly gripped me at the base and then stroked up to the tip, causing me to cry out at the barrage of intense pleasure that flooded my body as I came so hard I blacked out for a few seconds.

Panting heavily, I buried my head into the crook of her neck. "Dammit," I breathed, already feeling the tension leaving as I regained control of my body.

"I'm sorry," Bella said quietly.

"Shouldn't I be the one saying that?" I asked, finding enough energy to lift my head.

"I just... had to touch you." She smiled apologetically, but her eyes were still dilated and her hands restlessly fluttered over my back.

I had gotten my release. She hadn't.

Pushing myself up to lean on a forearm, I trailed my free hand down her side and watched with rapt attention as her nipples tightened in the cold air.

She truly was beautiful.

The only girl I wanted, for the rest of my life if she would have me.

I had never been in love before, but the level of devotion I had for Bella ran deep within me, solidified and stronger than any love I had felt. It had nothing to do with her baring her body to me, but rather how she bared her soul.

I had stood no chance when faced with her. She was a singular person in a sea of repetitions. And she was mine.

Until she realized I was worthless in bed because I couldn't last a minute.

Determined now to bring her pleasure, I bent down to gently kiss her as my fingers skimmed the edge of her panties.

I wouldn't screw this up.

Bella turned into me with a soft sigh and wiggled her hips in a circular motion while I lightly brushed the skin just underneath the seam line.

Should I just go for it? Tease her a little more?

And how the hell was I supposed to know what was what down there? I couldn't very well poke and prod around until I found the right spot.

Fuck. I should have paid more attention to those pornos Emmett shoved my way during high school.

I knew the basics, but what if I missed my target?

"You're thinking too much," Bella said suddenly, snapping me out of my inner monologue.

"What?" My head shot up and I stared at her, stricken. "How did you know?"

"You've been tracing the same circle on my hip for the past minute. Either you really like it there or you're overthinking something that should be guided by touch, not thought."

"I don't –"

"I know, Edward. But there's no need to worry. Just touch me," she pleaded. "I'll let you know what works and what doesn't."

Taking a deep breath, I braced myself and slipped my hand down to the vee between her thighs. Slipping one finger under the seam, I pushed it aside and very tenderly pressed against my last frontier of Bella's body.

It was so wet and warm and my finger slid around as I tried to get my bearings. Bella cried out and her hips lifted off the bed.

So far, so good.

She reached down and guided my finger to what I quickly assessed was her clitoris, which I knew what to do with... in theory.

A look of panic in Bella's direction made her show me what she liked. Moving the small nub in circles, I drank in Bella's gasps and cries of rapture. She suddenly gripped my wrist and moved my hand down, pushing my finger inside her.

"Another one," she instructed, unfurling my fingers. I inserted my middle finger and Bella groaned, pressing her pelvis to my palm. The sensation of being in her was different than anything I've ever felt. It was so warm and inviting. Like I had been searching my entire life for this level of welcoming heat.

Bella began moving my hand back and forth since I had been so mesmerized that I had failed to do so. She rode my fingers fast and hard and then grabbed my other hand to place on her breast, forcing me up on my knees between her legs.

It didn't take long until she threw her head back and cried out from the force of her orgasm. The walls surrounding my fingers gripped them and I closed my eyes, imagining how it would feel when it was my cock inside her. It stirred in recognition, impatient to achieve that goal.

But now wasn't the time.

Spent and more than a little proud that I had helped Bella achieve that glow, I removed my hands and collapsed next to her. She turned toward me and we stared at each other, marveling in our new level of intimacy. I didn't want her to leave… ever.

Topless, disheveled, and breathing heavily with her mouth open, she was the picture of ravished.

I had done that to her.

"Stay with me tonight," I blurted out, putting voice to my deepest wish before I had a chance to talk myself out of it.

"Okay," she said, smiling softly.

I grinned and nodded toward the bathroom. "Do you want to use it first?"

"Sure. Um, can I borrow one of your shirts again?"

"Of course," I replied. "Take whatever you want."

She collected her clothes and walked to the bathroom as I unabashedly stared at her lithe body in motion. Stretching out on the bed, I grimaced at the pull of dried semen on my stomach and boxers, but patiently waited my turn to wash off.

After cleaning up and changing clothes, we settled into my bed, Bella laying her head on my shoulder and one arm thrown across my chest. I held her close, rubbing her arm soothingly as we whispered good-night to each other.

She had to get up early for an eight o'clock class, so I knew there would be no play time in the morning, but I couldn't feel any disappointment. I could touch her and hold her the entire night. It had a powerful calming effect on me and I fell asleep almost immediately, unaware that my hand had settled on her breast right before I slipped into unconsciousness.

A/N: The next chapter is the one I've been waiting to write since I started this story. I think it's the one you've been waiting for too. ;)

If you're attending Twi-Con this weekend in Dallas I'll be there Friday through Sunday! If you see me, come say 'hi'!

Defs/Refs –

Manga – any comics or printed cartoons originally published in Japan. They are read back to front, which makes it so appealing because I've always wanted to do that.

Neuromancer – a novel by William Gibson and the first book in the Sprawl trilogy. I've tried to read it, but found it to be too heavy to wade through. I'm gonna wait for the movie, which should be coming out next year I believe.

Foundation – first book in the Foundation series by Isaac Asimov. I tried reading this one too, but it's very much what I term 'guy sci-fi' – futuristic, detailed, philosophical, and wordy. Basically, not my kind of thing.

Tower and the Hive series – written by Anne McCaffrey, who is one of my favorite sci-fi/fantasy writers. I love this series because the idea of having so much power that you can transport people and objects across vast amounts of space with just a thought never fails to fascinate me. (Also, why aren't there any vampires who are telekinetic? Or did I just miss that one in the list of all the vamps at the end of BD?)