|Beware of Wendigos
Author: Arctic Banana PM
Bumblebee and Jazz go on a camping trip with Sam and his friends. Maybe it wasn't a good idea for Bumblebee to read about scary monsters eating people before coming along.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Bumblebee & Jazz - Words: 1,812 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 3 - Published: 08-30-08 - Status: Complete - id: 4509790
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I guess you could say this story was written by a teenager desperately clinging to the last threads of summer and summer activities. -sigh- I start school on Tuesday, and I'm sure many of you have already gone back. One of my friends on another site went back mid-August.
Is it sad that I'm a living encyclopedia of cryptids? I didn't have to look any of these up as I wrote this.
Oh wow, you'll never guess what song's playing on my playlist right now... I'll give you a hint: "Here they come, these gods of steel; Megatron devouring what's concealed."
"Jazz, Bumblebee, your eerie glowing eyes are keeping us all awake. Can't you both go to sleep?" Sam asked in exhaustion and annoyance.
"No," Jazz replied. "We've been trying. It's kinda not working out for us."
"And why is that?" Mikaela asked in equal annoyance.
"Days are longer on our planet," he replied.
Mikaela pulled her face out of her pillow. "So in other words, you're both jet lagged?" They both shook their heads in agreement.
"Can you two at least look the other way, then?" Sam asked sleepily.
When Sam had told Bumblebee to invite Jazz along on their camping trip, he had expected him to be solely there to keep Bumblebee out of trouble while he, Mikaela, and their friends engaged in human activities that Bumblebee would be unable to participate in. He hadn't expected two blue optics and a glowing visor to be staring intently at them while they tried to sleep. It probably wouldn't have bothered them as much if the two hadn't both gotten down on their stomachs so they could get closer to the humans.
"Why are you guys doing that, anyway?" Sam's friend Devon asked.
"I don't know…I for one kind of like it. It's like a really big nightlight," Miles said in a cheerful voice.
"We just wanted to watch you guys to make sure you were safe," Bumblebee explained.
"From what?" Mikaela's friend Ashley asked.
"Wendigos," Bumblebee replied, glancing around nervously as if he expected a Wendigo to jump out at that moment.
Sam sat up. "Wendigos?"
"What the hell's a Wendigo?" Devon asked.
"A Native American spirit. It's a deformed humanoid monster that forms from someone that consumes human flesh, and it wanders around the forests eating people," Miles answered. Everybody slowly turned to look at him.
"Wait, so basically you're afraid that we're gonna get eaten by cannibal ghosts?" Ashley asked.
"Uh huh," Bumblebee agreed.
"Look Bee, we'll be fine," Sam reassured. "Devon, Miles and I camp here every summer, and none of us have been eaten by Wendigos thus far."
"Devon got sprayed by a skunk one year, though," Miles added.
"Only cuz you wouldn't stop poking it with a stick!" Devon countered angrily.
"Look, I've got an idea. Why don't you two go down to the pond if you can't sleep?" Mikaela suggested. "You might see a deer or something if you're quiet."
"Yeah, that's a good idea! Go to the pond!" Sam agreed.
Jazz looked at Bumblebee. "Do you want to go to the pond, little Bee?"
Bumblebee looked back at Sam and his friends nervously. "But what about Melon Heads?" he asked.
"Melon Heads?" Ashley asked.
"They hunt in packs and have bloated, disfigured heads that are filled with water. They once were human children that had hydrocephalus that were experimented on by the person that was supposed to care for them, until they ate him, burned the lab down, and escaped," Miles explained.
Everyone looked in his direction again. "Miles, how do you know this shit?" Sam asked.
"Are you really surprised?" Devon said indifferently.
Jazz stood up and grabbed Bumblebee's hand, pulling him to his feet. "Come on Bee, I'm sure they'll be safe from Wobble Heads."
"Melon Heads," Bumblebee corrected.
"Whatever. C'mon. They want to sleep. Let's go to the pond."
Bumblebee reluctantly let himself be dragged away from the humans. Jazz refused to release his hand, knowing that doing so might allow his much younger friend to take off running back to the humans, should his paranoia return.
"Do you think werewolves live around here?"
"No, Bee. I imagine werewolves live in Europe."
"What about El Chupacabra?"
"Puerto Rico, Bee."
"That's the same thing as a werewolf."
"CarnEvil. Look BeeBee, they're fine. Nothing's gonna hurt them, as long as Miles doesn't irritate any more skunks." Jazz put his arm around his friend's shoulder and pulled him close to comfort him while they walked.
"What about Pennywise?"
"You're right. I'm sorry."
They continued down the path to the pond in silence. Jazz nudged Bumblebee with his hip. "Look at the fireflies, Bumblebee!" he said, hoping to take his attention off of their human friends.
Bumblebee watched the fireflies with disinterest. "If we come back and they've been eaten by Purple People Eaters, I'm holding you responsible," he threatened.
Jazz shook his head. "Don't worry. They'll be fine. Now keep moving."
The rest of the walk to the pond was silent. Everytime Bumblebee heard a twig snap, or some animal make a noise, or rustling branches (even though the rustling was usually caused by Jazz accidentally walking into them; he wasn't exactly equipped with night vision), he'd look back towards the campsite anxiously. Finally, they reached the pond.
The moon reflected off of the still water. Every now and again, a fish would jump up to snap up a bug on the surface, breaking the stillness, but only for a moment. Weeds, cattails, and grasses that lined the pond's edge swayed with a gentle breeze. The trees surrounding the pond were dark and mysterious, and a little frightening to a certain yellow Camaro, who was waiting to be attacked by the Jersey Devil at any minute.
"I can't believe I missed the chance to throw paint-filled water balloons at Sunstreaker for this," Jazz complained.
"You didn't have to come, you know," Bumblebee replied, quickly turning around when he thought a feral cat that he heard was a Mngwa.
"Yeah I did. You're my best friend," Jazz replied, grabbing his arm and turning him around. "And next time, you might want to lay off reading Weird U.S. and Cryptozoology websites when you plan on going on a camping trip."
"You read it too!" Bumblebee countered.
"Yeah, but I didn't get paranoid with it. Just relax, they'll be fine," he reassured, sitting down and leaning against a tree. It snapped under his weight and fell over.
"Jazz!" Bumblebee double face-palmed.
"It was like that when we got here…the fish did it!" Jazz defended.
"Those must be some pretty monstrous fish, Jazz."
"In that little pond?"
"Hey, that pond ain't little. It's one of those bottomless ponds that we read about on Weird U.S." Jazz stood up. "There's plenty of room for a whale shark in there."
Bumblebee backed away from it. "That's one of those bottomless ponds to Hell?"
Jazz sighed. Oops… "I was just kidding, Bumblebee. Look, even I could probably reach the bottom in the deepest part and still stick out." He walked towards the water's edge. Bumblebee grabbed his hand.
"No, don't! What if the demons eat you?!" Bumblebee panicked.
"Bumblebee, the only deadly thing in that water is cottonmouth snakes and bacteria, and they're not even harmful to us." Bumblebee let go of his hand. "If it'll make you feel better, I won't go in the water."
Bumblebee relaxed slightly and sat down, slightly away from the water. "This planet is scary, Jazz."
"Only because humans have an overactive imagination. You don't see Cybertronians coming up with myths this far-fetched," Jazz shrugged, sitting down next to him. "Well…except maybe you."
"Sorry," Bumblebee apologized.
"Oh, it's okay. At least you're not as bad as Red Alert. Remember when he fell asleep watching Soylent Green, and when he woke up he thought energon was made of Autobots?" Jazz snickered.
"Yeah, and then he wouldn't let anyone eat for like a week," Bumblebee replied. "The twins kept sneaking food back to their room." He heard something snap and looked behind him. "Why am I getting that feeling that something's watching us?"
"Because you're paranoid," Jazz suggested.
"No really…I think something's watching us. I just saw something move! Something's in there!"
"It's a forest, Bumblebee. There's probably a million things in there. You probably just saw a wild dog or something."
"It looked too big to be a dog…" Bumblebee pulled closer to Jazz.
"You're right. Maybe it was a goatboy," Jazz teased.
"Are you making fun of me?" Bumblebee growled.
"Noooo…of course not. Why would I make fun of you?" Jazz asked sarcastically.
"I think I saw something else, too!" Bumblebee added, continuing to look back. Like Jazz, he wasn't equipped with night vision, and therefore, he couldn't see anything.
"It's probably the goatboy's pet gnome," Jazz snickered.
Bumblebee glared at him. "I really hate you right now."
"Aww, I'm just teasing, Bumblebee. It's most likely a bear or something."
"There are bears out here?!"
"They're not gonna eat Sam, Bee. Just calm down and stop being so paranoid."
Bumblebee turned around and kept glancing over his shoulder towards the forest. "I still think I saw something."
"Just ignore it, Bee. It won't bother you as much," Jazz suggested. "That's how I put up with Prowl."
"Yeah, until he gets pissed off at you and smacks you upside the head," Bumblebee retorted coldly.
"That's why I've been learning to duck." He glanced up at Bumblebee. "You've been getting even less recharge than me. Why don't you at least try to take a nap?" he suggested. "I'll stay awake so the cryptids don't get you."
Bumblebee considered this a moment and made one last glance back towards the forest before agreeing. "Alright…" He rested his head in Jazz's lap. "But are you sure it wasn't maybe the Mothman or something?" Jazz flicked his head. "Ow! Point taken…"
"Good night, Bee," Jazz whispered to him, stroking his head.
"Good night, Jazz."
Jazz glanced over as a female deer and her fawn jumped out of the forest to get some water. Oh my god, it's Bee's goatboy! he thought, laughing to himself.