A/N: AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT but absolutely vital.

Check it out.

I see a bad moon risin'
I see trouble on the way
~Creedence Clearwater Revival, 'Bad Moon Rising'

All of my life I've been stoogin' around
Nothin' to do, at a loss
All of my life I've been stoogin' around
But what good is a stooge if he ain't got a boss?
~'Young Frankenstein', 'Together Again'

10/21/02

3:03 AM

systems check 387904
.go
rebooting

Her audio sensors turned on first, and she heard humming equipment. Her olfactory sensors were next, sensing... not much of anything. A bit of a useless sense, that.

Then her visual sensors began to power on. Her surroundings were blurry at first, then they cleared and she saw a large, cavernous room that was mostly painted purple. Thick, gray cables composed the ceiling and an upside-down four-legged chicken floated in a nearby tube full of green liquid. Several half-constructed machines dotted the floor. They appeared to be quite advanced.

Zurg technology? she wondered.

"Hey!"

She jumped. The voice had come out of nowhere, and reminded her of Motherboard. "Who are you?" she demanded.

"Irken Mechanical Housing Unit version 0.5, serial number 90210, copyright 1971," the voice rattled off.

MALIK frowned. "You are Irken technology?" Her head darted around as she surveyed the surroundings some more.

The voice boomed out again, sounding bored. "Yes."

"You are the voice of this building's AI," she confirmed to herself. "How was I brought here?"

"Zim brought you in about an hour ago. I don't know what he wants to do with you."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Who is Zim?"

The computer sighed. "My owner, along with the reason I need a support group."

She rolled her eyes. "Stop that. You are a machine, you require no therapy. Where is Zim now?"

"He's upstairs, watching TV."

"What does he intend to do with me?"

"I don't know. I don't know why he does anything."

"Why has he removed my old programming but not replaced it with his own?"

"He's a busy Irken. Look, I have no reason to keep talking to you."

She shook her head. "Then don't reply to my questions. It's not that hard."

"Hmph. "

There was a silence, and she studied the space around her. Then-

"Look, Zim just walked in. I'm gonna tell him you're up."

She nodded, looking over the room again. "Yes, I desire to speak with my captor."

The computer fell silent. She walked over to a half-finished device across the room and studied it. She was unable to decipher what it could be for.

"So. You're back online."

She whipped around, slapping the spot on her wrist that activated her wrist laser. Nothing happened.

She remained determinedly expressionless, and sized up the small creature that had appeared in the room behind her. He was very small, about her height and quite thin. His hands were on his hips and his back was very straight, in fact, he had the best posture for an organic she'd even seen. He raised narrow, straight eyebrows at her in mild surprise, then he chuckled. "I thought you might try to attack me," he said in a scratchy voice. "I thought it would be in your inferior defense programming. So I disabled your weapons."

She was silent for a moment, chewing this over. It wouldn't pay to be hasty. The first thing that struck her was that although he was speaking a language she had never heard before, she understood it perfectly.

"What language are we speaking?" she asked, responding in the same dialect without effort.

"English. I downloaded it into you from my Pak."

She analyzed this sentence. 'Pak' was an unfamiliar word, but she could safely assume it meant 'computer database', and there was still something from his previous sentence she had issue with...

"You called me inferior?"

"Obviously," he rasped, tossing his head.

She stiffened. "I'll have you know I'm the most sophisticated machinery ever to come out of Star Command!" she snapped. "I am not inferior!"

Merely classified as defective, she thought, and she felt cold.

The creature rolled his eyes. "Pfft. Star Command. Nothing Star Command can turn out can possibly come close to Irken technology."

"Irken?" she said slowly, choosing to momentarily ignore his obnoxious arrogance and the slight at Star Command. (After all she had no knowledge of Irkens and Star Command did have its problems.) "Then you are Irken."

"Of course!" he snapped, and his scales darkened in color. "What else would I be?"

She said nothing, fixing him with a look that she was quite sure made it clear that she did not trust this individual, not even a little bit. He met her stare boldly. Very boldly. His eyes were wide, jewel-like robotic implants and a brilliant shade of dark reddish-pink.

"Who are you?" she said finally.

"Zerinim." He blinked, disconnected surprise coming into his eyes, then he scowled fiercely, pointing at her with a small, gloved hand. "But to you I am ZIM! INVADER Zim! Or sir. Or master." He raised his left foot and scratched the back of his right leg with it. She raised her eyebrows. "Cuz... that's what I am now. Your master." She gave him a disapproving stare. This bumbling creature was not her master.

He scowled back at her. "So I would suggest treating me with respect."

"You don't own me," she said with a toss of her head. "Star Command does. They'll come after me any time now." She was too valuable for them not to. "So you have wasted your time, 'Zim'."

He snorted laughter, the darker shade leaving his skin and his narrow shoulders shaking. "Foolish unit! Do you know where you are?"

Her small mouth pursed into a frown. Why did that matter? "Admittedly no. But where-ever I am, I'll be found. I'll be found soon."

He grinned, exposing sharklike teeth, and stalked around her in a circle, watching her. She wheeled to track him with her gaze, continuing to boldly meet his eyes. (He had... such large, brightly colored eyes. And they were quite intense.)

"You happen to be out on the other side of the Galactic Federation," he informed her finally. "No one will be coming for you. No one even knows where you are."

"You expect me to believe you?" she hissed. Because if he was correct... no one even knew what was out here...

"Oh, you'll find you have no choice."

Her probing gaze went over his face again, and once again he met it without a trace of discomfort.

His gaze was so brazen and she felt herself heat up without knowing why. This creature, this Zim, he was smaller than her and she could easily beat him in a physical fight and would probably need to later, but he was so bold. Commanding.

She had to look away. For the first time. She had to look away.

"What are you called?" he demanded.

"MALIK." She made a face, disdain filling her voice. "Sir."

-end

-toooo be continued?!-

And on that note, I leave you all. See ya next fic!