Disclaimer: If I owned Genesis . . . uh, not finishing that thought.

A.N.: This is inspired by the fact that Genesis is modeled off of Gackt. You can probably tell from that statement that this is going to be a weird fic.

Genesis strode arrogantly into the psychiatrist's office, not even bothering to check to see if he had gotten the address correct. Of course, he had; after all, he was perfect!

As it turned out, he had gotten the address correct. Genesis found himself standing in a large, open space pleasantly decorated with small watercolors of domestic scenes, obviously designed to give the psychiatrist's patients a sense of comfort. At the far right of the room was a glass wall, providing a not-so-scenic view of the exterior of the next building over.

The SOLDIER shook himself from his reverie, and made his way over to the receptionist's desk, carefully avoiding every bit of sun that shone through the window. After he had been checked in, the receptionist gave him a clipboard, with a form on it that read:

Name:

Age:

Birthplace:

Below it was a large empty area, which Genesis assumed to be the area where the psychiatrist wrote their notes on the session. Since, of course, he was correct, he left it blank. The sheet now read:

Name: Genesis Rhapsodos

Age: 467

Birthplace: Banora

The receptionist raised her eyebrow when he turned the form in, but did not comment. Genesis returned to his seat – once again staying far away from the patches of sun – and waited patiently for the receptionist to call him back up.

After an interminable period of time passed, a short, timid-looking man left the psychiatrist's office, and the receptionist motioned for him to go into the office.

Sarah Jamison, clinical psychologist and director of the Midgar Psychological Association, was most definitely not prepared for her next patient.

The night before, Sarah had received a call from a man named Lazard Deusericus. He claimed to be the Director of SOLDIER, but she had never heard of him. Lazard begged her to accept a client: one of SOLDIER's poster boys, who, unfortunately, appeared to believe he was a vampire.

While Sarah had stood there, blinking, the SOLDIER director proceeded to explain how they had tolerated the behavior at first, but then it had escalated, and three people had been bitten. Shinra, rather than dismissing one of its most prominent figures, had decided to see if the behavior could be rectified.

Sarah, after much thought, had agreed, but only after being promised a large, six-figure sum.

Genesis seated himself across from the psychiatrist, who was a tallish woman with short, dirty blond hair. She eyed him with some trepidation, but Genesis was used to that. After all, most people did fear vampires, and rightly so.

Genesis took a deep breath, and began to speak.

Almost as soon as 'Lazard' had hung up, Sarah had rushed to her computer to research her new patient.

After almost two hours of reading, Sarah sat back, utterly defeated. How was she supposed to treat this?

Now, sitting across from this man, Sarah didn't feel so intimidated. How hard could it be to persuade him that vampires didn't exist?

Three hours later

As soon as the door shut behind Genesis, Sarah let herself collapse bonelessly onto her desk. Her question had been answered: Impossible.

In addition to Mr. Genesis's vampire fixation, Sarah had discovered a host of other, potentially problematic, conditions, including a case of OCD. Sarah hated treating OCD; she had never quite grasped the concept when she was in school.

Sighing, she reached for her clipboard, and began writing up her diagnosis.

Patient's name: Genesis Rhapsodos

Age: 467

Birthplace: Banora

Psychiatric evaluation: Patient appears to believe that he is a 467 year old vampire. Upon further questioning, patient's answer was, "What makes you think I'm not?" However, I am not certain that this is exactly what was said; patient's Continental was continually interrupted by nonsensical quotes from Loveless.

Aside from the belief that he is a vampire, patient appears to have an acute case of megalomania and mild obsessive-compulsive disorder centering on the opening and shutting of car doors.

After a few more minutes of talking to the patient, I was able to discern a slight sex addiction, chronic insomnia, and a fixation on candles and skulls.

Psychiatrist's comments: Patient was referred to a local mental institution; I felt unqualified to treat him.

A.N.: Uh . . . if you did not understand much of this, let me explain.

This originally was a fic written for Final Hikari's sister, and it bashed Gackt rather than Genesis. Now, since Genesis is based off of Gackt, I decided to change a few things about it and post it.

If you're still a little confused:

Gackt believes he's a 467-year-old vampire, and actually has all the psychological disorders I mentioned in the fic, except for the Loveless quoting (thank Shiva).

Longest A.N. ever, I know.